Would really appreciate peoples thoughts on a housing situation !

[randomxx]

Hi to all.

lt's an unbelievable time in life to find myself stuck in this position, just don't know how to look at it, or what to do about with it, if l can anything at all. 

Problem is, at almost 60, yeah l've mixed up details in other threads just a bit concerned some l know may also be here and haven't wanted any connection here that l might know, butttt, yep.

Thing is l didn't get anything out of my last house, the people l went into the property with as it was a big place, went broke.

Well , sort of lucky although maybe a curse , not sure anymore but l do still have a 1ac country property, 18yrs now, from back when l was married.

l can't work anymore for mh reasons but if l took care l can survive until l can get the pension- living at the 1ac place- it only has a small over nighter atm but l could extend and it'd come up quite nice .

Problem is, it's in a ting town, 30mins to the main town which is a really nice place and there's also a couple of tiny ones in between before that main buttttt, out where this place is, is tiny and out on it's own .

l always planned selling it about now but problems are now that for 1, even if it did sell, it's just a cheap little country block it'd only be a good deposit on something closer in- but circumstances now that'd mean a new mortgage and l'd have to keep working too, don't think l could stomach either of those especially the stress in trying to make it happen.

2nd thing highly possible it doesn't even sell anyway.

l know l'm lucky to at least have it and all , with the housing crisis and so many in worser positions , l just never dreamed l'd be living on it though and honestly, just don't know but it looks like l might be forced to.

l grew up in the city and have lived in some of the nicest places in the country but to have to settle on this place out there now- look the property itself is a really cute block and in a nice little back street- if l could put it on a truck to somewhere else it'd be really nice - but this town.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Yes, I hear you re: the ex gf. Sometimes there are situations that can be worked through and other times they’re just not resolvable and there is a need to move on. I’m gradually getting more of a sense of that in my own life and identifying situations that are both unhealthy for me and not really resolvable, and I’m learning to let them go. I think you know the answer by how even your body reacts to the decision you make. If you think of leaving a situation and overall it’s a real relief and you feel a lot better, that’s the right choice. I used to hang onto situations thinking I had to keep working at fixing things, but I learned I really don’t have to, especially if I’ve been really working at that already to no avail.

I really get the feeling you describe of sometimes feeling sick in your town and wanting to get out. I’ve totally had that feeling with mine. On other days though it can be so peaceful here, like right now it’s just a lovely quiet morning with a gentle breeze. But I think it’s something about small towns and trying to find belonging in them that can be so difficult. I spoke to someone at Lifeline about that weeks ago now and he is from a small town and completely got what I was saying. He’s now happier in the city. He said someone in his town could get intensely gossiped about just by using a different kind of shopping bag at the supermarket. I won’t go into much detail but another person has left my town after she got totally persecuted while doing volunteer work in a shop. She re-arranged a few things in the merchandising which led to a tirade of abuse against her. I honestly don’t know the answer but the happiest people in my town seem to be the ones who don’t join the community activities/roles and keep to themselves. There’s a couple near me and the guy goes out with his kitesurfing and other water sports all the time. I’d say they’re in their 60s. I see he and his partner out on walks sometimes and they like getting out into nature like me. But they seem totally separate from the town and it’s politics. I’m finding that’s the only way I can survive here. The ideal I think probably for both yourself and me is finding friends and/or a partner who love doing the same things. That would be the antidote to the loneliness.

I wonder if there’s any community activities outside of your town that gel with your interests? I went to a performance thing in a neighbouring town a while back where people played songs and poetry they’d written. I found I was sitting next to someone I had done volunteer work with in another town, so then I had someone to catch up with which was really nice. For some reason I only seem to have these positive encounters when I get out of my town. I guess I just wonder if trying a few events in other towns around you would open up possibilities of meeting and chatting with new people? I have found connecting with others can really lift me. I don’t know if there would be something like a kayak club you could join somewhere? I get how it can be a challenge though and if you’re like me you might be on the quieter side, so it can be an effort going to events sometimes. And some things like kayaking might be your personal, quiet meditative time. I’m like that with photography - it’s usually a solitary thing for me.

Yes, I think not making any hasty decisions with housing is probably a good idea. But it’s hard isn’t because I think there’s a feeling of wanting things to be resolved and settled. I think it comes back to that one day at a time thing and trying to enjoy the moment, and then things start to unfold for the better.

Take care and big hugs,

er

[randomxx]

Morng er and thx for the hug, could use soma that atm.

Nice timing once again decided l'm staying in bed today. Did drive out for a lap or to made me feel even worse , shytty day to so l'm back and here l'm stayin.

Yeah l usually go to other towns to even from my old town, same. Here, nothin happening here anyway but l wouldn't wanna be involved locally, a friend or two around the place would be good but that'd be it if l wound up staying.

But l usually have and good encounters somewhere else to although there was a little bit in my old town , not to likely in this one though.

Took my brother over to look at the one block l've found and like, yesterday. Damn nice block but there are a few things and l couldn't even act on it anyway until this sold. Good day though back at his for a drinky and yak later, his gf's back up to atm, was nice. Mind you, she got me talking about gfs and pasts, doesn't mean anything by it but l made myself feel sick later wished l'd just kept my mouth shut.

But really, although I have these feelings, it's not bad, just a few gf's in teens and 20s before l met ex w and later then gf since, not like l've had a 100,who doesn't have a few in teens/ 20s before/if they got married later or sadly get divorced.

Makes me sick thinking about any of it though bc, well, ldk. Things just feel so effd now.

Funny, and crazy, l hear ya though. Known a lot of people left these places for the city and city people leaving there for these places, weird isn't it. 

But yeah, not into community anything and def' not in this one but l do keep my eye out for anything else out and about, checked some stuff out to over the yrs. Haven't had much luck few times there has been something though the people in it are usually all wrong for me. Surprising really though say gf ex for example to, she does dancing and gym,nothing. Can't even get a partner at dancing, bizarre bc she's a g dancer , nice personalty and vv cute to boot but she says none of them ever partner up with others there either, isn't that weird. And at gym no one talks just do their stuff. She has made a few friends just out and about though but it's usually faded out later. She's not desperate or lonely in that way she's like me more a relationship person than the friendies type. Damn shame we were so alike people wise, personality to. l'm not quiet and neither was she but at the same time l don't bother if l have no interest and l need down time. She's very lively, bubbly to you'd say and bold but was like me to in not needing outside people really and liking her down time to. We viewed all that stuff so alike, world in general , especially these times. Bloody hard to find gonna miss it damn.

Back to the problem at hand man, ldbloody know. Read up on gov housing other day some link just popped up thought hmmm, there might be an idea. No body corp bs , no mortgage, and when you get the pension they pay a fair whack of your rent, should be secure long term but if something did happen with the building they find you another one.

Gf ex actually has something like that while in all her court cases they found her and apartment, she's still in it can be for life if she wants.

1 second.

[randomxx]

Still don't trust this thing now not to post my post.

But yeah , Gov housing, l've seen some of them these days you'd never know they're really nice , gf ex's place was too.

Know anything about that stuff er. ?

Gf ex does still have to endure those stupid damn inspections which l think are a crime myself putting tenants through that rubbish, but that is all she has to do.Doesn't have to spend a penny or fix one thing and she only pays 160pw where units in her area are believe it or not 5 -700pw, such insanity but they are.

To top it off, they'd just done a complete 50k reno on ea apartment before she moved in it's like brand new and very nice.

Well, there's a 3mth to 2yr wait here depending on your situation but if they have something somewhere up around my man or neighbouring somewhere, gees, could be well worth it. Apart from damn inspections .

Just new thoughts after reading up.

big hug er, hope your doin ok and enjoying the comforts of home.

rx

[randomxx]

Lately l wonder if l didn't bring this predicament on my self through self for filled prophecy.

My whole life l've kinda alternatively liked the idea of just going to some little middle of nowhere town, in my head l call them an out post type town , leaving the world madness behind and things going on, forced onto us, and just existing, to live and let live.

There was one like that up on the Murray, l stayed a wk there. Said to d you know l could live here you'd be horrified, people would come up to visit thinking what in Gods name are you doing here well, what's wrong with you but here l am now in this one.

Sometimes it feels and looks just like one of those too unfortunately though this one doesn't make me wanna stay. 

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

Sometimes a day in bed can be a good thing. You've been thinking so hard about everything, and then maybe having the conversation about the past and former gfs was a bit much too. Sometimes people ask me about personal stuff and I feel worse for speaking about it. It's like there are times it's right to talk about it and times it feels better not to go into it. I hope maybe you're feeling a bit better now.

This evening I'd been thinking a lot myself and busy doing things - making dinner and cleaning up, putting rubbish out etc. Then because my sprinkler's not working I decided to water the front lawn by hand. That made me really slow down and it was at dusk when the sky is pink. I noticed the most beautiful yellow moon was rising. It just stopped my mind racing and trying to solve everything. I wonder if you would find it helpful to do just some peaceful watching of the sun or moon rising or setting, just some quiet time at those beautiful times of day. I've been like you and thinking about my future and housing situation most of the time, but sometimes just slowing down is the best thing including letting the mind rest.

As for government housing, I don't know much. I have had friends in it and they had to go on a wait list. Sometimes the wait can be a while. One of my friends ended up in an apartment block with drug users around and that wasn't good, but then she did get somewhere better. I can't quite remember how it all played out. There is something here called Foundation Housing in WA that caters to people on low incomes. There would be similar things in Victoria. An issue for you might be that you own property already which may preclude you from the options available, but you could look into it.

I think towns can vary, so the one up on the Murray could be good. But I get the sense it helps to spend a fair bit of time somewhere first to get a feel for it. There was an inland town here in WA I thought about that had a good feel to me when I stayed there a few days. I then read an article about a young woman with some loss and trauma in her background who went there and it was so healing for her. She said the older women there became like mothers to her as her own mother had died, and she really found a sense of belonging. So such experiences exist. The town is in an arid spot though that gets very hot in summer. I think socially here I'm in the wrong town for me, but then it's coastal and beautiful in that way and the climate is pretty good given much of WA can get pretty hot. Being near the Murray would be nice I imagine, though it's been hugely hot up in some of those parts recently. I guess climate is important to think about too. But if you found good community and a sense of belonging, that might be the main thing.

Anyway, take it easy and rest well and hope you're sleeping peacefully tonight.

[randomxx]

Hiya er, glad you've popped in hope your ok , just popped back for more thinking out loud.

Thx for the thoughts and yep you are spot on,l hate talking about pasts to, dunno how l fell for it that time. When you spoke about watering, l felt the peace instantly to , it can be such  beautiful thing stuff like that. At my old house l'd go out and feel the earth under my feet, just wonder over it, that place was magical like that, ancient Aboriginal earth all through that area.

Was looking forward to tell you, saw old mate cross the road last night. He's a classic. Bit of a wild bugger everyones scared of him so l like l hit it off with the scary one in town ha ha. But he's alright, damn nice bloke actually just don't piss him off but gees l'm amazed at how sharp he is on just people and the workings of things, he's damn good to talk to actually. Also knows all the goss and everything goin on 30mins with him you find out more than you would living here 20yrs it's that damn funny.

Any rate, thing is, like you've come across that one or two in yours you've hit it off with, yaknow, in time, there'd be someone mamybe a few but just what a difference it can make. Really helps the spirits and vibe. Stay open while your there anyway l reckon, no expectations buttt, just never know either right, and enjoy being out there watering too, stuff em all.

Also found out to if, ifffff, l did happen to build, for what l'd wanna do l'd have no prob and costs with permits either, which is huge soooooo, just a what if atm, but we see.

But nah, no Murray towns for me, too hot up there and too far from d. lt is nice being back down here and near the coast again too after my wanders, l'll stick around l think, somewhere .

Thx for the info to and yeah, l thought about all that with public housing too. Already owning this place, right building no druggies all all that too, .God knows.  Gf's is good like that but there has been a bit of drama and hassle with a few of them there.  She sorted it eventually and it's been good lately since she reckons.

Anyway, have a nice day, wk , hey.

rx

[Eagle Ray]

Hi rx,

I really relate to the feeling the earth thing you describe. Certain places you can just feel it where it's especially strong. Last night I wanted to watch a documentary about Warri and Yatungka, a couple who were one of the last to come in from living the desert life in the 1970s. It was on NITV but the reception wasn't working as is sometimes the case here. I remember when I was 9, in 1984, the Pintupi 9 were others who were still living a fully nomadic life who finally came in. The Pintupi 9 were super healthy. These people have so much to share about connection to place at such a deep level. When your heart and mind are open you can feel the energy in the landscape. It's a really powerful thing. I just wish there was more of that deep connection among more people here. We'd understand the landscape so much better. I know I have to find and be with certain places in order to ground myself.

I love the sound of your old mate across the road. I have this kind of image of him which may not be what he looks like at all, but I can imagine such a character would make a great portrait photo. I have a book by photographer Bill Bachman called Local Colour: Travels in the Other Australia. It's got some great portraits of real characters from the parts of Australia we don't hear or see that much about a lot of the time, including some pretty remote spots. Your local bushy sounds like someone who would feature in that book. It's funny how he knows all the goss. It sounds like he's got the wisdom on how to navigate the ins and outs of the town. I do think there is an art somehow to living in certain country areas. I'm glad he's been great to talk with.

In 2023 I did two trips into inland WA. I really loved it actually, both meeting some characters but also getting out to certain remote locations. Some of those places have a really spiritual energy and then the people - well many of them are a whole different kind of people than what you will generally find in the city and even coastal towns. My town here is very ultra conservative with a lot of people from specific kinds of farming backgrounds, but it's not the kind of arid lands I was exploring in 2023 where the people feel different again. It's hard to put into words. Some of the people work so hard. One town just had a local store and the woman there when I asked said she works 13 hours per day from 7am to 8pm, 7 days per week. That's just her life and she was usually the main one there with only occasional assistance.

I'm descended from people who lived and worked in remote inland places, so maybe that's why I feel a connection, I'm not sure. I know you seemed to love some of those places up on the Murray. It's a funny thing isn't it, where we feel connected. But like you say, it's so hot up there. My dad's family lived in structures of corrugated metal with a dirt floor and it was extremely hot in the summer. It was such a hard life, yet when I visit those places I kind of love it as well. It's like the sense of time and space changes out there. Gee I'm getting all philosophical today 😂 Maybe I am wanting to be mobile on the road again in the not too distant future.

I hope you are enjoying your day rx and your week too,

er

[randomxx]

No no not at all er.

l've always been an extremely earthy person and felt the landscape. But ofc to yeah , inland people like that, it's totally different, everythings different.  People just need to stop for awhile, un clutter, feel it. But alas yep, damn shame the shallowness in Aus mostly, they couldn't care less.

Met an Aboriginal man up on the Murry actually, soooo special. He knew l felt him said he saw my eyes and that l was very different, which l know but coming from him was such a complement and of which l was looking into his eyes actually and l'll tell you, you will not get deeper. l swear l could  10,000 yrs in his eyes. Beautiful old bloke.l told him actually it was an honour to meet him he said the same.

But yeah, l've always noticed you have a real feel for all that stuff you've talked about, nice er, very special. No wonder your a little stuck your soul almost sounds like it belongs out there too.

Your town sounds a bit like my old town. This one here's a bit different actually and oddly enough, there's actually quite a large scope in the people here some are from all over, which l love. They've found a bargain here in these mad times and moved in to do it up , maybe stay maybe not, a lot have though. 

Someone round the corner bought a block and they've moved onto it this very cool gypsy wagon, love it. Pretty well say a gypsy tiny house.

But my old town was v similar to the sound of yours, most were local forever, families, farms all around outside of it . The locals were friendly but all had their own circles been there forever. Felt that day l looked at the house there yrs back knew what it'd be like from there but kinda hoped l might at least connect with bloody someone. Oddly enough, by the time l left, a lot of Melb and others people had bought around the place actually. Covid and far cheaper housing.

Shall be back.

[randomxx]

The Murray is a very special place in all those ways. ln ways it's a lot like the outback, you feel it's ancientness and the tribes that would've camped all along it.

Sometimes l'd swear l saw bushman on the far side, standing on one foot with his spear, still watching me.

Hmmm, at any rate, l have a dilemma. l think the property would sell, been a few offers, just too low. Problem is, 1stly, l don't feel ready yet to say ok if it does.

l don't wanna regret a yeah or neigh and what if l couldn't find something else but then also ,,,,what do l do if someone does want it tomorrow, right price. Possible getting new interest atm 3 this wk alone.

The only thing l can come up with if it did sell right now is, to take off vanning again and browse property from there until l found something else. That was actually my original plan 15mths ago when l left the first time. lt was with an agent but didn't sell. Would've said yes then but now that l'm back awhile and still feeling it out, and a bit settled again, damn, not sure.

Bit worried l'll be in this mid mind limbo forever , not enough in to go ahead and build , not enough out to just sell.

Been meaning to be scanning everything property during this time so that l know exactly what's out there and what l could do or not, but just haven't felt like it.

lt might not even sell anyway but l don't feel ready either way atm damn it.

[Eagle Ray]

Hey rx,

That's such a lovely story about the Aboriginal man you met and having that connection. That capacity to feel one another is what makes us human, yet sadly in this world, especially at the moment, it's a quality that is often lacking. So when we have those connections it's deep and special. It's why my heart really broke with The Voice referendum because I think most people just didn't get it at all. They saw it as political or like they were losing something from it, when in every way it was the opposite of that. It was about connection, compassion and understanding for the benefit of everyone and moving forward together. Anyway, I think all we can do is just keep our hearts and minds open and have those beautiful connections like the one you described with the lovely man and just keep the kind and the good going in this world.

There sounds like a good range of people about your area and I love the sound of a gypsy wagon. The tiny house thing is such an interesting idea these days. It appeals to me a lot actually. The main thing with tiny houses is all the rules and regulations around them and that can vary greatly from council to council. So if you actually wanted to move a tiny house around it could be limited a lot of the time.

Seeing the bushman across the river up on the Murray - I can relate to similar experiences. I feel the elders are still there. It happened to me one night in a WA wheatbelt town, an old fella with a spear in the middle of the night. It wasn't frightening or anything. For hours a mob had been in the park after the pub closed and there was quite a bit of yelling and that. I was in the caravan park. When things settled I was still awake in the early morning and was thinking about my mum actually and some real grief came up. All of a sudden a presence was just there, an old fella with a spear. He just sat on my bed and comforted me. It felt like he'd been looking after his people and when they were settled he picked up the energy of my grief and just sat with me. It was really calming. I've had other experiences too. I guess I've spent a lot of time in the bush. I always seek to respect whatever I sense when I'm out in those places. The land will talk back to you if you listen. I love the name of some places. Like Wongan Hills in WA means "Talking Hills" or "Whispering Hills" which is the sound of the wind passing through the hills and trees. There is real heart and spirit in the landscape and you can feel it. There's a walk I love there - The Mt Matilda walk where that spirit is really strong. I met interesting wildlife on that walk including a little Thorny Devil, the most amazing little reptile.

But back to your property situation, I totally understand it feeling like a dilemma. I guess you could base it on the price  - if it's really good enough it might be worth it. But perhaps if it still feels so unclear at this point, it's better not to sell. I'm not sure but I also get not wanting to be caught forever in limbo. I guess if it did sell and maybe the money from that could earn some good interest in an interest bearing account, you could be off vanning again and enjoy the travels while searching for a new home location. If you think about staying and committing to building, I guess see if you can sense in your gut how that feels long term? Sometimes imagining making a decision and then feeling the reaction inside gives a sense of where we really want to go. But I know sometimes it just still isn't clear yet.

Take care, er