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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Jane971 Hi.
  • replies: 9

I am stuck in a really bad place and I don’t seem to be able to get myself out of. I am struggling to get out of bed, shower, cook, clean, go to work or exercise. I’m constantly scrolling reels in Instagram or Facebook wasting away the days. I’ve tol... View more

I am stuck in a really bad place and I don’t seem to be able to get myself out of. I am struggling to get out of bed, shower, cook, clean, go to work or exercise. I’m constantly scrolling reels in Instagram or Facebook wasting away the days. I’ve told my GP and I’ve started taking an anti depressant. I’ve tried different ones before in the past and always come off them. I’ve tried seeing a few different psychologists and it hasn’t really seemed to help that much. I have seen a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with depression. I live alone in a city away from family. I have a few friends nearby who know what’s going on but aren’t able to help that much. It’s been a rough few months and few years and I’m really worried about how to get out of this place. I had t ok take time off work last year due to this and then this year lost my job and have now depleted my savings and gone into debt. I know nothing is going to change overnight or even in a few weeks but I just don’t know what to do. I am a 30 year old female and I feel like I have no future, no hope or dreams and I don’t want to live like this. I don’t have any suicidal thoughts or ideas and am not self harming other than not eating enough proper food or staying hydrated. I’m trying to keep in touch with my friends and family for support but it’s hard when I just cry on the phone to them and they can’t do anything or when I meet a friend for a walk I feel like I’ve got nothing to say.

Guest_63500192 Dating hurt at church that got out of hand
  • replies: 1

A year ago, I was in France at the end of a Europe trip - she contracted Sepsis, was hospitalised, but got a medical escort home. This was scary for me, as I had already lost my dad at 7 years old when he drowned in a beqch rip trying to save me. I h... View more

A year ago, I was in France at the end of a Europe trip - she contracted Sepsis, was hospitalised, but got a medical escort home. This was scary for me, as I had already lost my dad at 7 years old when he drowned in a beqch rip trying to save me. I had begun talking with a girl on a Catholic dating app, and we had hit it off very well in messaging, a 4hr date, and a ministry event, having shared very intimate and vulnerable things about oir lives (the above for me, for her the loss of her Grandma and growing up withoit her dad). I had not realised that the dating app, despite being paid, had a 4-in-a-row msg limit. A mutual friend made her aware, but then came 1 week of silence, followed by an accusation of sharing personal things aboit her ro him, which was not true. I sing in various church choirs throughout the diocese, while she resides on a different ministry. Due to all the combined grief, I got a counsellor. The friend that reached out then got the silent treatment for 2 months, and it appeared she had ditched him (I think she may be an avoidant). This seemed unfair and insenitive as his mum was hospitalised, and then his aunty died not long afterwards. He revealed to me that the story of my dad overwhelmed her, despite her saying he was a hero and that it was beautiful and moving I want to be like him as a dad - this landed on me as I wasn't good enough for her because my dad is dead. She had also previously prayed the rosary for my mum. A few months later, she attended the same catholic house party i went to. I opted to stay silent when she mentioned to others she's met me before, because I had exhausted trying to resolve misunderstanding by this point. She then hooked up with a decade long friend of mine (touching, flirting, invite to ministry event) infront of me, which against the backdrop of unresolved tension and family grief she knew of, was hurtful and insensitive. I didn't react at the party, as I knew I could reach out to my friend and warn him, which is what I did, but in the moment to protect him, I felt the "F U, your dad, and ur mum, and I'll cuck you now" flex alongside my protective instinct. I spoke to my counsellor about the behaviour dynamics, then the host of the party, whom praised me for keeping my cool, and is now not pleased with her. I am surprinsgly close friends with the host now after this, but they are unsure how to approach her - me and my friend considered going to diocese safeguarding, but we don't think they'd act.

darko Is this all there is?
  • replies: 15

Im an 18 year old guy, and only recently during my unwanted gap semester post high-school (thanks to university requirements) have these thoughts been exacerbated. I dont understand why I even exist in this society. My "friends" dont even acknowledge... View more

Im an 18 year old guy, and only recently during my unwanted gap semester post high-school (thanks to university requirements) have these thoughts been exacerbated. I dont understand why I even exist in this society. My "friends" dont even acknowledge me and make me feel like im worthless. I have felt like the second choice for everybody for so long I dont even remember if I ever really had a non-fake friend. Ive never been in a loving relationship with a girl, hell even had one interested in me while everybody I know finds the "one" and promptly abandons me. I feel constantly depressed and have episodes where I just feel completely alone. Ive been disassociated with existing for years now and I just zone out all the time. Recently ive been thinking, is this all there is? are these supposed to be the best years of my life? is this really all there is to living, to being in society here on Earth? I feel helpless because I spend most of my time alone and have been taken advantage of by many people who I thought were friends (for hundreds of dollars) as I was just grasping for any social connection. I can't find a job, I will never own a home thanks to the current housing market in Melbourne, I lost a finger because of faulty council equpment, I work out nearly everyday and am in good shape physically but still feel like shit, my chest hurts all the time because of my bad feelings in my head and I feel trapped. The only thing that actually supports me is my music, movies, and videogames, thats about it. This is the first time ive actually stuck my feelings to something tangible, aside from just reposting negative content online. Has anybody else had these feelings? Who do I even go to for help? how do I even move forward in life when its over before it started? is there something wrong with me? why am I wired this way? 🫩

Louise__ Homeless and hopeless
  • replies: 9

I have no idea what to do. The journey is too long to write it all and the crux of it is that I’ve lost all of my family and friends, my relationship, and my home, I have no money, and I don’t know what to do. I got a hotel for tonight instead of sle... View more

I have no idea what to do. The journey is too long to write it all and the crux of it is that I’ve lost all of my family and friends, my relationship, and my home, I have no money, and I don’t know what to do. I got a hotel for tonight instead of sleeping in my car, but I haven’t been able to leave the bed since I checked in. I can’t eat, and every time I sleep I wake up with electric bolts of anxiety through my body. I feel sick constantly. i feel like a weak human who isn’t able to find my place in the world. I don’t even understand who I am. I’m a 30 year old woman, I moved to Australia from the UK for a better life. How I was treated as a kid means there’s so many layers and I’ve felt empty my entire life. I found someone and fell in love and I ruined it. I hate feeling sorry for myself and I hate that I cannot physically move from this bed. I hate that I’ve hurt people around me by trying to do what I thought was right, because I’m always wrong. am I stupid, or just so messed up from childhood that I’ll never be able to function as a normal human being? Why do I never feel good enough? And why don’t I look after myself and my body when I feel low? I’m fully aware that not eating for days or moving my body, or doing anything at all is so unhealthy for me and my body feels like it’s deteriorating. But I’m stuck in this paralysis where I can’t make any decisions or look after myself. The heaviness of everything is too much. I just want to feel better. I just want to know what my next step is when I wake up tomorrow and find myself back in my car with nowhere to go and no one to talk to. In terms of health: I’m losing my sight. next week I’ll find out the results of my brain MRI. Maybe it’ll be nothing, or maybe it’ll be a tumour, or MS. I have nerve degeneration behind my eyes and I’ve lost 6% of my vision. I’m worried, but worse, I’m going to be going alone. I'm in so much emotional pain and feel like I’m completely frozen and not able to make decisions. I can go and find a house share, I work part time so I can afford a room somewhere. But I have no idea on the location and I’m scared of starting again. I just want life to be easy. I want to be loved and feel connection and not constantly feel so alone.

Hopeful4life Life straight after high school.
  • replies: 2

I just recently finished high school over 6 months ago and ever since I’ve had this dreadful mindset where everything I do feels pointless now. High school was rough for me as I dealt with bullying so I always assumed after high school I’d feel amazi... View more

I just recently finished high school over 6 months ago and ever since I’ve had this dreadful mindset where everything I do feels pointless now. High school was rough for me as I dealt with bullying so I always assumed after high school I’d feel amazing because I would be away from it. But it’s been 6 months and I have no motivation, going to work feels more challenging than it used to and hanging out with friends feels like a chore. I start university next year which I worked really hard to get into but I’m scared that in the next 5 months this mindset will worsen and I’ll carry this sadness with me to university. I just wanted to see if anyone else felt like this after finishing high school and what they did to come out of this mindset? Have a beautiful day

emi39 Family issues
  • replies: 8

I asked my father a question last night and he got angry at me. Every 6-ish months he gets in these moods where he says we are ungrateful, he hates us and that he is going to leave us. My question wasn't offensive or negative - I even clarified it, I... View more

I asked my father a question last night and he got angry at me. Every 6-ish months he gets in these moods where he says we are ungrateful, he hates us and that he is going to leave us. My question wasn't offensive or negative - I even clarified it, I meant it in a nice way (the question was: what are we going to live in? (because we might be moving)). I feel guilty and bad because he takes it out on everyone. I feel bad for my sister (as it was her birthday today). Sometimes I feel like if I wasn't here he wouldn't get mad all the time. It's like walking on broken glass and I'm exhausted. He doesn't love me. My mother also doesn't care - only when he gets mad at her.I'm stuck in a remote location, I don't have a license (they never taught me), and I have pets I can't/don't leave (geese, ducks, chickens, dogs and guinea pigs). But He get's really mad he yells, says we are horrible and ungrateful, when we walk past he asks if we're happy because we cause them to split (he threatens to split up with my mother (he has done this a few times, but never actually does it,) and says he's going to leave. After a while he becomes happy and acts like it's a joke. I noticed these outbursts occur after he talks to his friend on the phone (his friend isn't a nice person - he's nasty to his ex-wives and is somewhat of an alcoholic, but lives in QLD). It used to be my older brother but now I face the brunt - everything I do, I ask he get's mad at. I just feel like sometimes it would be better if I wasn't here but I don't want to leave my pets. I feel scared, stressed and horrible. I can't eat, sleep. Last time he did this was on the 1/1/2026 - snice that date I've been sleeping with headphones on because I'm scared I'll hear them talking about me. I'm 22, I know I'm an adult and I can leave, but I would never leave my pets with them. I guess I just have to wait it out - apologies don't work he doesn't accept it and it make him angrier.

M-aggie Am I overreacting?
  • replies: 1

I was talking to an ex fling/ new friend and asking why he hasnt reached out in weeks after we said we were going to be friends, saying that if we weren't going to be friends just say that. He said a bunch of things but one of them was and I quote "I... View more

I was talking to an ex fling/ new friend and asking why he hasnt reached out in weeks after we said we were going to be friends, saying that if we weren't going to be friends just say that. He said a bunch of things but one of them was and I quote "I suppose I figured if I was going to ask how you are then I needed to have the ability to come and help if things weren't great." Am I overreacting or is this basically saying that I am a burden on him and an unstable person that needs to be saved? It makes me feel really bad about myself and angry at him that he thinks of me like that. I do struggle with depression and suicidal ideation, I have spoken to him about it but I've never made him do anything or asked him to do anything. One day when I was really suicidal I offered to help him clean his house because I didnt want to spend the day alone but I havent done anything like that before or since. Hearing this from him who is one of the very few people I've opened up to makes me want to disappear.

Cloudydays1 My parents staying in a toxic domestic violence relationship
  • replies: 3

I’m 35. I live away from my family. My parents have a very unhealthy, physically and emotionally abusive relationship. My mother is a hoarder with 2 households full of collected items. My father is an alcoholic. My siblings and I grew up in this toxi... View more

I’m 35. I live away from my family. My parents have a very unhealthy, physically and emotionally abusive relationship. My mother is a hoarder with 2 households full of collected items. My father is an alcoholic. My siblings and I grew up in this toxic environment witnessing physical and verbs abuse, and are still being subjected to it. My parents fight and it escalates to physical violence. My mother calls us feeling unsafe but will not seek help or leave him. We have begged her but she ends the conversation with us and moves on like her situation isn’t that bad. They sweep it all under the rug and pretend like everything is fine. They are both miserable. I can’t accept them putting on an act anymore. They want to come and visit me to visit my kids but I do not want them in my home pretending like everything is okay. I feel so guilty because I want them to see their grandkids - they are their only happiness. I am also scared that me not allowing them to come will cause more fighting. I am feeling so depressed. How do you help someone who refuses to be helped and potentially cause more fights by demanding that they sort out there issues before visiting again. I feel physically sick about it - everyone around them who knows about this situation does too. Please help

ELTee Medically Terminated from work
  • replies: 2

Hi, I had lung cancer surgery earlier this year. Recovery was going well and they got all the cancer. I returned to work and was working from home. My employer, who I have been with for over 30 years, decided I needed an independent medical assessmen... View more

Hi, I had lung cancer surgery earlier this year. Recovery was going well and they got all the cancer. I returned to work and was working from home. My employer, who I have been with for over 30 years, decided I needed an independent medical assessment. This ended up in me completing tasks, with an Exercise Physiologist, none of which were related to my job. I actually injured myself further. Now they have terminated me. I have suffered depression & anxiety for years, but this is next level. I'm finding it hard to function. I just want to hide from the world. I am totally devastated this has happened. Yes I have a lawyer and have lodged claims through WorkSafe. Its this hollow feeling of nothing, clearly I was just a number, they don't seem to care. I can do my job still. They decided I couldn't. I just needed to vent, so fed up with crying & panic attacks. Has anyone else been through this? I've lost my identity and right now I don't know who I am or even how to exist.Thanks for reading xx

Doors24 Dealing with end of life as I knew it. Massive changes in my life.
  • replies: 32

Hello, The last seven months have been nothing but massive upheaval and changes. I already suffered from anxiety and depression. These changes have made everything worse and I feel so isolated. I went through and currently am still experiencing a med... View more

Hello, The last seven months have been nothing but massive upheaval and changes. I already suffered from anxiety and depression. These changes have made everything worse and I feel so isolated. I went through and currently am still experiencing a medical trauma starting seven months ago. But life still went on whilst I was having to deal with that. I lost my amazing dog due to illness and old age whilst I was having treatment and there was nothing I could physically, mentally or emotionally do for her. I was too unwell to help her. She wasn’t alone. As a family dog. But 15 years and she is just gone and the house is so quiet. She was quite a large dog,so her presence is so noticeably absent in just space alone. And that was only two weeks ago. Then just two weeks later, my family member who has lived with me down my end of the house, moved out. We have spent our childhood together and almost 15 years of our adult lives co-habitating in this space together. Indirectly, we became part of each other’s daily routine by just sounds alone. Even if we didn’t speak directly to each other, we could hear each other living our lives in our rooms. I’d hear their alarms go off in the morning. I could hear them working from home during the day on phone calls and walking up and down the hallway to get coffees or something to eat. At night I could hear them laughing at the tv, taking a shower in the bathroom or even using the toilet spray in the toilet. (The walls are thin in this house). I have become so used to those daily sounds being in my life. I could go to sleep at night comforted by the sounds coming out of the room next door. I felt and have always felt safe living with this sibling being in the next room. And in the space of just 16 hours on the one day, they packed up all their belongings and emptied that room. That morning they lived here. By that night they no longer live here. And they aren’t coming back to live here again. They have called their new place their home verbally. And whilst I am genuinely happy for that sibling to have finally found their own space and independence. It is just another loss too quickly after the last. I don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t know how to see all these spaces empty or once belong to someone else, but now know that they don’t. It is so incredibly sad and overwhelming and I can’t process it fast enough and my depression is getting worse. I feel so isolated. I can’t talk about anything I am feeling with the family members left in this house. I have tried and tried. They are emotionally unavailable and are legitimately unable to have real connection type of conversations. The person I was connected to the most in this house,is the one who moved out. I just don’t know what to do. I have to walk past their empty door everytime I leave my own room. The silence is so prominent. The grief is so raw. I dream about my dog at night. My house used to be full of life and happiness and now it is full of unhappy people and no connection to one another. We can’t have a discussion together. We are all feeling like there is a dark shadow over our house and waiting for the next thing to happen. I am all alone. Being unwell, I can’t leave this space either. I just need someone to talk to or be heard or have a human connection with. I am not dealing with this well. Any changes are hard for me to process and just this year alone, there has been too many massive changes in short succession. Thank you for taking the time to read this or respond.Doors 24

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