Depression

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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 0

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

Speechless Trying so hard but so broken
  • replies: 1

Around 6 months ago I wrote here in a very, very distressed state. I had no real support otherwise in real time. Its hard to write about myself as i have alot of shame and almost non- existent self esteem esp atm. Im 41, female who has never really l... View more

Around 6 months ago I wrote here in a very, very distressed state. I had no real support otherwise in real time. Its hard to write about myself as i have alot of shame and almost non- existent self esteem esp atm. Im 41, female who has never really left home and had traumas at a young adult age with little support other than home alone with my animals and the very nice environment we were living in. 5 acres around farmland just outside our costal tourist town.I had my big chicken house that looked like a giant cubby. I had the pleasure of having ducks, a turkey, chickens and lots of roosters, two sheep, and more. On complete rain water and out away from pollution in the fresh air, quiet away from any cars, very secluded and with a very nice view. Id lived there with my parents for 26 years, since i was 14. I have social phobia/ GAD and complex parents -mum with hearing disabilities and who can be very dominant and quiet and dictating at times. Ive always tried to help myself and at times been on a roll, but i’ve always had my environment to be my calm go-to, part of my spirituality and support for myself, my foundation, my calmness and basically a romance with the place. Nearly 6 months ago, dad declared we were moving asap because he wanted to invest money for my sister to get a house. It was a complete shock and distress. It was out of the blue with no warning and with no emotional care at all. 2-3 months asap in dead winter to find a house to buy and live by selling my everything place. It was irrational and made a prolonged distress for me having to be yelled at for being upset and having to be just me and dad moving everything. I told him i was feeling suicidal and he threw stuff at my face. It was stressful times but I was incredibly mentally unwell in a very bad way, continuing to push myself for everyone with no support. By the time we moved and i had my own time to myself, I severely broke down. I couldnt sleep, I was in severe shock and emotional distress and on my iwn with it, my mum didnt want to know. I had to ring the hospital for some support at some point.My days for months was pushing myself if i had to drive my parents anywhere and taking my dog for a walk, and then in bed so distraught and crying in so much emotional pain it hurt so much. Its now nearly 6 months later and ive come a long way from where i was emotionally, ive settled in more. I see a psychologist and counselling. I push myself everyday.I get creative with clay and gardening. Try to improve the house. But at the end of the day, im still so upset i dont have my sanctuary, half my animals, were in a built up urban area, i hate the backyard and the dark house,I feel so hopeless- the things i loved are all gone, and altho i practice radical acceptance and try to improve things- i still hate it. I love country valleys, fresh air, gumtrees bushland, away from urban, i love a sunny north facing house and farm animals. I wash myself with a bucket of rainwater boiled rather than use the horrible tap water that gives me rashes, i go outside for a drive and walk the dog to be in the sun, i plant a garden to try and improve the backyard which is slabs of concrete and a hills hoist. But at least there room for my chooks. What weve gone from to here because of dads irrational choices is hard to swallow. Our lifestyle has changed. My health has gone downhill mentally and physically. I know in my bones what i need and want in life. My sanctuary was my everything. Now when i go out, im severely depressed and severely lacking in self esteem and have somewhat self neglect. And esp at home. Its an added depression ontop of the depression i had b4 the move. I feel like ive lost my compass, ive lost my value and who i am since weve moved and i feel hopeless in ever being able to get what i want in life which is a sanctuary of my own. I feel heartbroken and not home here. I hate living urban so much, but i push myself everyday, but i know its just not me.

Atomic_Wolf_Boy Completely f*cked!!!
  • replies: 20

It's a complicated scenario but I've been wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia and I've been stuck under psychiatry for the last twelve years. I have to have consultations every six months that I don't want to have. I have to constantly get scripts a... View more

It's a complicated scenario but I've been wrongly diagnosed with schizophrenia and I've been stuck under psychiatry for the last twelve years. I have to have consultations every six months that I don't want to have. I have to constantly get scripts and go every month to the chemist and buy un wanted medication. I have to have medical certificates and possibly occupational assessments just to legally drive a vehicle too because of it, when I'm sane anyway. After over coming weight gain, I then have had lasting un wanted belly stretch marks. To make it worse I then was diagnosed with pre diabetes and three years after that I was made to have a cholecystectomy. I'm constantly fighting with any therapist and doctor because their telling me that I'm indenyl and that I lack insight and that their experts and I know their wrong. It's abusive when I know I am the injustice and the victim. I also have so many experiences where I know it's a combination of North American's or doctors/ therapist's and their laughing about my malpractice scenario and misdiagnosis that they are trying to make me feel different, less intelligent or wither I'm more on the autistic spectrum. It's furthermore abuse. I even had one GP write caution on my patient paper when given to another GP. All my life before and even still now I've disliked my father. But I've always obviously been financially dependent on him. He tells me wither I'm disabled, soft, inept, weak, pale, wither I should be driving, wither I want to work or wither I can cook anything without burning the house down. I not only had been socially, verbally and physically bullied and degraded all during high school and hated everyone in my school. I made the mistake of knowing two of them until I was 23, when I was more wanting friends because I was in a younger personality back then. Since high school it's been 11 years and I've only had 9 month's of volunteer because I've had no direction for which jobs I would want to do. There's no certificates I want to do and I can't achieve anything from University. I won't work a apprenticeship or a traineeship or anything with construction. I was told by one of their mothers at 19 that I was a loser. I don't want to work entry sales, hospitality, factory or even retail most likely. There's no route to direct my life in now.

Earth Girl Worried about my future and not sure where to live
  • replies: 6

I'm worried about my future because I'm going to be 30 this year and I'm still having trouble getting a job. For the time being I'm fine because my parents are letting me live with them and they will also be helping to get an apartment or house, but ... View more

I'm worried about my future because I'm going to be 30 this year and I'm still having trouble getting a job. For the time being I'm fine because my parents are letting me live with them and they will also be helping to get an apartment or house, but we don't know which one would be better. I feel like it would make more sense for me to live in an apartment since I will be living by myself and it would be cheaper, but my parents are worried that there might end up being some scary people in whichever apartment I move into (I'm very shy and naive for my age). I know you can visit an apartment you're thinking of getting, but that doesn't garuntee that there won't end up being scary people there. I said to him that I will probably have to eventually move into an apartment one day anyway and he just said "mmm." (I think he knows I'm screwed either way). My older sister told me that when our parents are no longer here that she would be able to help me out with money which is very kind of her and she also said that I could live with them which is also very kind of her, but to say that we don't get along when we live together is a HUGE understatement. When we lived at home together (the parent's houses) we had at least one HUGE fight every. single. day and that's if it was an okay day. We literally fought so much, it was crazy! It's got to be better than being homeless though. I'm hoping I will be able to get a job soon with help from disability. If I can do that and I one day soonish move into a house and I get a partner, we might be able to share the bills one day if we live together. Also, do guys find it a turn off if their lady doesn't have a job? I wouldn't mind being a housekeeper if my bf was okay with that just as long as he picked up after himself and didn't order me around. I would enjoy keeping the house clean and tidy. I moved into a group house last year and for several months I was living by myself and the real estate agent said she was very impressed with how I was looking after the house and so did a lot of other people and I enjoyed keeping the house tidy. I'm assuming most men would want us to have a job as well though? Also, I still need to learn how to cook (other than just really simple things like fish, eggs and pasta).

CatMum55 TPD
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am a long term sufferer of mental illness. My current job is high pressure and I am suffering more and more as time goes on. I have taken a lot of leave and am now feeling like it is harder for me to continue on with work. I would like to make ... View more

Hi, I am a long term sufferer of mental illness. My current job is high pressure and I am suffering more and more as time goes on. I have taken a lot of leave and am now feeling like it is harder for me to continue on with work. I would like to make a claim on my income protection but am scared about the process. Is there anyone who has made a successful claim for Temporary Disability or permanent disability? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Guest_41856421 Stepchildren
  • replies: 2

So i have 2 adult stepchildren in my house and a stepdaughter and my biological son and it is hard i cop alot of disrespect from the adult stepchildren and I'm sick of it but my partner won't see it and help me and now I'm lost their also very cruel ... View more

So i have 2 adult stepchildren in my house and a stepdaughter and my biological son and it is hard i cop alot of disrespect from the adult stepchildren and I'm sick of it but my partner won't see it and help me and now I'm lost their also very cruel to my child and it is impossible to treat them all the same there is a 18 year age gap between my son and his eldest i am lost and lonely and so unsure of my life right now

Kendrick Depression and worthless
  • replies: 9

Hi there , just wanting to share my experience feeling on depression and my mental health and if anyone out there has any similar thoughts, it’s almost like I’m alone and trapped in my own head and I don’t know what is wrong with me I feel disconnect... View more

Hi there , just wanting to share my experience feeling on depression and my mental health and if anyone out there has any similar thoughts, it’s almost like I’m alone and trapped in my own head and I don’t know what is wrong with me I feel disconnected and alone and when I’m down it’s horrible feeling but the good day I’m ok it’s just on and off like this and the sad days I really hate myself and worthless I’m up and down feeling I go through are hard to deal with

Keats Heart-wracking Loss / Shadowlands
  • replies: 1

Greetings to fellow anonymous web-dwellers,I am a 35-y.o. who has suffered from Social Anxiety, Depression, and OCD since adolescence. I lost all my friends around 20 due to shame, embarrassment and stigma, as I withdrew from the world. I thought tha... View more

Greetings to fellow anonymous web-dwellers,I am a 35-y.o. who has suffered from Social Anxiety, Depression, and OCD since adolescence. I lost all my friends around 20 due to shame, embarrassment and stigma, as I withdrew from the world. I thought that they would be better off without me - I didn't want to be a burden. However, looking back my friends were never very supportive, nor very emotionally dependable - it was never the deep and meaningful friendship I have yearned for all my life.Years of fruitless therapy later, I dropped out of my final semester of university, even though my marks were excellent, due to overwhelming anxiety and depression. I was brave, and I tried my best to make friends, but my university experience was lonely and alienating. Again, I withdrew from society. I soothed myself by watching television compulsively - the vicarious illusion of company which helped the empty years drift by. Isolated, my heart became numb, insensate to either profound depths or exalted highs - I suffered, I was alone, but I did not feel the intense pain, the pain that is so excruciating one thinks only sleep or death can offer relief, that afflicts me now. I have not had a single friend since I was 20, loneliness being my constant and ever-present companion.However, in very awkward and unfortunate circumstances, I recently met someone who I thought became my friend - a true friend. I proceeded very slowly at first, and with caution, ever having to overcome my anxiety to speak with her little by little. We didn't see eachother very often at first. Later, unique circumstances caused us to spend a lot of time together, talking and getting to know eachother. Early on, she cried in front of me, and I attempted to console her. Of course, I hid my mental illness from her - I wore my dissembling mask. It seemed we were kindred spirits with a lot surprisingly in common: both interests and personality traits - both perfectionists and people-pleasers - with similar struggles and adversities. We had both suffered in life. However, she was not at all shy - just an anxious person. If ever I found a perfect friend, it was her. One day she confided in me a very deep, and sad trauma which she still continues to struggle with - resulting in suicidal ideation and profound sorrow. At that moment I began to love and care for her deeply. We grew closer and closer, and I tried to help her with her struggles as best I could, and with my experience. I was often rebuffed for trying to help her - she placed boundaries which I respected.As we grew close, I began to feel the pain and sorrow I described above. The thought of never seeing her again tore at my soul. I couldn't imagine life without her in it. I summoned the courage and asked her cautiously, 'Are we friends?' 'Yes, of course', she replied. Prior to that I often asked her whether she actually liked me, out of insecurity. She affirmed she did. The pain throbbed in my chest - it was unbearable. I decided to disclose to her my sad story, and emphasised that after hearing it she was not obliged to remain my friend. 'I am your friend', she replied, 'We are friends'. A week passed, and the reason for I cannot say, but she betrayed me. She renounced our friendship, and my world reeled. I was angry and upset at her deception - her callous cruelty. I could no longer bear to see her; we have parted, and we will never see eachother again.I am in a world of hurt. I cannot stop my tears from flowing. Life is empty and meaningless without her. The thought that I will never hear her voice again, see her face, her smile, her bright eyes is unbearable. I do not know how to cope; everything reminds me of her. I loved her as a friend with all my heart, but as best as I can I cannot remove the memory of her from my mind - dislodge the place I made for her in my heart. I don't know how to deal with the heart-wracking pain of her loss. I am in despair; I am all alone, again!Sincere gratitude to anyone who reads this - apologies for the literary quality (I studied literature at uni!).Yours sincerely.

Jose Looking for clues?
  • replies: 15

Has anyone gone through a situation where you were attacked by the entire society literally? I am trying to convince myself that I am having delusions but it's more than a dream at the moment considering what's going on. I think I am so famous in the... View more

Has anyone gone through a situation where you were attacked by the entire society literally? I am trying to convince myself that I am having delusions but it's more than a dream at the moment considering what's going on. I think I am so famous in the entire country I live in and even think I am involved in a grand conspiracy. Yes this might be delusion but the moment people see me they attack, period. Passive attack to make me mentally sick. I feel like a celebrity, I am kind of enjoying little bit of it every now and then. Playing with attackers is my new hobby and something that keeps me moving to be honest. Gotta give them credit for that eventhough they don't realize it. But what in the world have I done to end up like this?

Beebee Bullying
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, I wanted to reach out Into this forum in the hope of meeting other people that might have been through similar to me or who might actually understand what I’ve been through. I was bullied at school (a girls school) which led to anxiety a... View more

Hi everyone, I wanted to reach out Into this forum in the hope of meeting other people that might have been through similar to me or who might actually understand what I’ve been through. I was bullied at school (a girls school) which led to anxiety and depression from my teens where I would dread going to school and feel like I didn’t want to live. I had a group of friends that would witness my bullying and would never stand up for me they would always say they wanted to be friends with the people who I felt like tortured me on a daily basis. I then left school and had a partner cheat on me and those same friends told me they all wanted to stay friends with him. That group of friends began to shut me out invite me to parties and not speak to me. Also a video was posted on Facebook of them calling me horrible names. Then at my second year of university one main girl created a Facebook group stating how she wanted us all to be friends and move forward and as soon as I replied they all blanked me! I became really depressed but didn’t realise I was depressed, drinking a lot until I blacked out but just acting as if it was normal because I was young and it was what everyone does. I then moved away to university and I suffered at the hands of girls again, dismissing me or being horrible for no apparent reason and I continued in my depression. During my second year at university those friends that I went travelling and began to move forward also with recent help from a counsellor. Then I met my current partner but he was fully attached to the same group of friends from school that were never there for me more so the boys. Last year two of my partners friends were getting married in which I felt like I had no choice to go to the weddings with him. My partner didn’t take seriously what I have previously been through and I felt like I had no choice. The girl that made the Facebook group whilst at uni was going to be there. The fear in me was real I felt like attending those weddings was causing me PTSD. I was travelling before both and I spent a lot of the time talking about the weddings in which I now realise was complete fear that I was not able to understand or explain. The final wedding was horrific, that girl had basically created a gang of grown adult women against me and I felt completely traumatised leaving on my own. This second experience of bullying as an adult has completely broken me. Has anyone had similar or can understand or relate to my experience?

frankoceanisbae Am i real?
  • replies: 13

i hate the feeling of not feeling real.im in year 11 and next year will be my last year of school and honeslty it terrifies me. i have no idea what i want to do or achieve when im "older" like why am i here? what is my purpose? and i feel like i cant... View more

i hate the feeling of not feeling real.im in year 11 and next year will be my last year of school and honeslty it terrifies me. i have no idea what i want to do or achieve when im "older" like why am i here? what is my purpose? and i feel like i cant be sad becuase i have so many things to be greatful for, but deep down i'm not happy. its so hard to explain this feeling like its not numbness but im not happy. i think its the mood swings from being happy when im with friends then sad and upset when im in my room and alone.I dont want to ask my bestfriend for help becuase i know her life was so much tougher than mine and i dont want anyone feeling bad for me and saying sorry. my sister was diagnosed with depresssion ages ago and now is fine, so i feel like i cant ask for help becuase i dont want to end up like how my sister was.i get these random episodes of dissassociation quite frequently and when i snap out of it i feel so fake, its like gettting deja vu, it freaks me out and really makes me think like wtf just happened and then i get this wave of dissassosiation and it repeats. a never ending cycle.i just want to be happy and 'normal'