Depression

Prenatal Depression & Anxiety

replies: 3

TW: Self Harm & Suicidal Thoughts 24F, I have a 4yo, a 2yo and currently pregnant with my 3rd, I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression, it’s only ever internally, I never show it on the outside to my children. This pr... View more

TW: Self Harm & Suicidal Thoughts 24F, I have a 4yo, a 2yo and currently pregnant with my 3rd, I’m 35 weeks pregnant. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and depression, it’s only ever internally, I never show it on the outside to my children. This pregnancy has had a lot of anxiety and depression and it’s to the point I have infact self-harmed and have wished that something would happen to me whilst I give birth. I know it’s a horrible thing to think but I’m struggling so bad and my partner just doesn’t seem to understand, he just sort of brushes it off and blames the hormones. I feel so alone, but I’m too embarrassed to get help. His family is so judgemental and they’d probably laugh. There’s never been any thoughts of harming my baby or children. Only ever myself. And along with the depression and anxiety, also comes the guilt for feeling how I feel. I snap so easily at my kids, I shut everyone out. And it’s just snowballing.

I’m feeling super lonely and feel like a loser

replies: 4

I’m 38 and I feel like I’m isolated. I have no friends. In fact I just turned 39, and I spent it alone. I feel like I spend every day at home with my thoughts spinning. I wasn’t like this when I was 26. I was isolated and strong. I still didn’t see f... View more

I’m 38 and I feel like I’m isolated. I have no friends. In fact I just turned 39, and I spent it alone. I feel like I spend every day at home with my thoughts spinning. I wasn’t like this when I was 26. I was isolated and strong. I still didn’t see friends, but I had ambition and positive hopes and dreams like direction and I also could maintain relationships. When I finished with my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years in 2013, I went online to fish for connection like a relationship intimacy, and I came across a guy who knew that I was isolated without friends and knew that I was in denial about a sickness I’ve been carrying my whole life so he psychologically brought it out of me use me and left me pregnant. I’m sorry to say alone when I was 26 when I asked him for answers and questions. He went to the police and asked him for an intervention order, cause I was harassing him, which got thrown out Before 26 I hadn’t been out socially connecting with groups of friends since I was 18 it kind of faded away when I was 19 I’ve been going home in and out of mum‘s place and then she would get frustrated because I had no friends so she’d kick me out. And then I’d have to go into share houses. There I met my ex A who used to physically assault me and brutally bash me for 3 1/2 years. I felt like I was locked into the relationship the police arrested him. I haven’t been close with my dad since I was 15, my mum and dad are divorced my mum‘s an irresponsible parent police have said this. And my three other sisters have moved away from my mum so far away my real sister Ana has moved to Canada. The guy who psychologically affected and attacked me his name was J. Who I met online psychologically affected me so much that I was carrying him around like a dead horse in my mind. My mum knew that, so she brutally affected me even more by attacking people’s property like share houses my housemates property, the horrible experience, but she would tell them that it was me and I was out of control when it wasn’t. The police knew they were there. I’ve been carrying that around as well since 2015. I’ve had no intimacy relationships, marriage, socially been out for 13 years since my domestic violence relationship gone. And now I’m at home alone. I’m trying to reach out to my Nanna, but she doesn’t want to help. She just directs me into the arms of mental health. It’s sad because she only lives in the same suburb over to me. The only person I see is S this guy who I’ve been connecting with for six years. He’s got kids and I met him when I was 18 and he said that he wanted to marry me when I was 18.

Self harm

replies: 2

Ok hi everyone. I am 13, (female) and i have really bad depression. I self harm, and i have scars covering my whole left arm. I have no family. I am in foster care. I was wondering why self harm is labled as bad, because its better than suicide. But ... View more

Ok hi everyone. I am 13, (female) and i have really bad depression. I self harm, and i have scars covering my whole left arm. I have no family. I am in foster care. I was wondering why self harm is labled as bad, because its better than suicide. But also I dont want scars because they're ugly. My foster family dont know how to helo when I have episodes, and they are trying, but its not helping. Are there any good alternatives to self harm? I've tried squeezing ice cubes and stuff but nothing works. And how do I communicate my needs to my foster family? I personally dont even know what i need sooo... anyway thanks guys :3

Isolation and unemployed

replies: 1

"I have been unemployed for just a week, but I have already had suicidal thoughts for the last couple of days. I am an immigrant who has studied and worked in Australia for four years. I am a very good student and worker, but somehow I ended up in th... View more

"I have been unemployed for just a week, but I have already had suicidal thoughts for the last couple of days. I am an immigrant who has studied and worked in Australia for four years. I am a very good student and worker, but somehow I ended up in this situation. It is hard to accept, and it has lowered my self-esteem and confidence.I left my first job because I needed to find work in Adelaide instead of Sydney for my visa. Then, my second job contract ended. They offered me a three-month extension, but they phrased it like they were doing me a favor while I looked for a new job. HR didn't even ask how I felt, what I wanted to do next, or what I had been contributing. I did so much for them and was very dedicated, but they didn't care. It hurt my feelings and made me feel undervalued, even though I know I am good at what I do.Next, I tried to contact my first boss for a reference, but he didn't reply. I saw him as a friend, though we had some conflicts when I left. I don't care about the reference anymore, but as a friend, I just wanted a response. Then, my Facebook account was suspended by Meta for no reason. I felt completely isolated and couldn't talk to anyone.I have been staying in my room all day. I only feel a bit better when I go out for a walk, but I don't want to see anyone. I can't bring myself to look for jobs because I don't want to face new colleagues. I still remember my last day at work; they knew I was leaving, but they still asked me to do tasks and then acted surprised that it was my last day. I couldn't believe how fake they were.My parents passed away six years ago. I moved abroad to fulfill my dream. I graduated and kept myself busy with multiple jobs while studying another course. Now that I have nothing to do, I am starting to feel depressed. I feel a loss of purpose that is hard to bear. I feel like if I stay in my room any longer, I will end my life. Do you know where I can sit in peace with internet to work and with people around? Not public library i dont want to see anyone i know there

YOUR SPECIAL PLACE

replies: 1

Where is it? Do you have a special place? What can happen in a special place? Well, anything can happen in a place of your choosing because like dreams can invent anything, so can your imagination, fantasy and hope. There should be no room for though... View more

Where is it? Do you have a special place? What can happen in a special place? Well, anything can happen in a place of your choosing because like dreams can invent anything, so can your imagination, fantasy and hope. There should be no room for thoughts of- negativity, complaints, evil or other. Otherwise it wont be special. Find the time, say 30 minutes minimum, no phone, no distractions. The best place is a rural paddock with the rare passing of a vehicle. Or a hill, small mountain. The bush, among the bracken. Alone and any animals come by its a bonus. Sit, lie down, look at the sky. Feel the wonder. A good time for muscle tensioning exercises. All 7 sensors working - smell the eucalypt leaves, listen to the birds, touch the bark, taste the dew, focus on anything, feeeeeeellll........ It isnt a time for thinking, worrying, its a time for your mind to chill. You might be brought to tears- fine let your mind do its thing. Some might want to listen to music. Background music like- instrumentals, titanic, Pachelbel (canon in D major my fav), Leo Rojas pan flute, etc. Hoping you'll feel your depression ooze away, let me know your thoughts Do you have a special place? TonyWK

Hi.

replies: 9

I am stuck in a really bad place and I don’t seem to be able to get myself out of. I am struggling to get out of bed, shower, cook, clean, go to work or exercise. I’m constantly scrolling reels in Instagram or Facebook wasting away the days. I’ve tol... View more

I am stuck in a really bad place and I don’t seem to be able to get myself out of. I am struggling to get out of bed, shower, cook, clean, go to work or exercise. I’m constantly scrolling reels in Instagram or Facebook wasting away the days. I’ve told my GP and I’ve started taking an anti depressant. I’ve tried different ones before in the past and always come off them. I’ve tried seeing a few different psychologists and it hasn’t really seemed to help that much. I have seen a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with depression. I live alone in a city away from family. I have a few friends nearby who know what’s going on but aren’t able to help that much. It’s been a rough few months and few years and I’m really worried about how to get out of this place. I had t ok take time off work last year due to this and then this year lost my job and have now depleted my savings and gone into debt. I know nothing is going to change overnight or even in a few weeks but I just don’t know what to do. I am a 30 year old female and I feel like I have no future, no hope or dreams and I don’t want to live like this. I don’t have any suicidal thoughts or ideas and am not self harming other than not eating enough proper food or staying hydrated. I’m trying to keep in touch with my friends and family for support but it’s hard when I just cry on the phone to them and they can’t do anything or when I meet a friend for a walk I feel like I’ve got nothing to say.

Dating hurt at church that got out of hand

replies: 1

A year ago, I was in France at the end of a Europe trip - she contracted Sepsis, was hospitalised, but got a medical escort home. This was scary for me, as I had already lost my dad at 7 years old when he drowned in a beqch rip trying to save me. I h... View more

A year ago, I was in France at the end of a Europe trip - she contracted Sepsis, was hospitalised, but got a medical escort home. This was scary for me, as I had already lost my dad at 7 years old when he drowned in a beqch rip trying to save me. I had begun talking with a girl on a Catholic dating app, and we had hit it off very well in messaging, a 4hr date, and a ministry event, having shared very intimate and vulnerable things about oir lives (the above for me, for her the loss of her Grandma and growing up withoit her dad). I had not realised that the dating app, despite being paid, had a 4-in-a-row msg limit. A mutual friend made her aware, but then came 1 week of silence, followed by an accusation of sharing personal things aboit her ro him, which was not true. I sing in various church choirs throughout the diocese, while she resides on a different ministry. Due to all the combined grief, I got a counsellor. The friend that reached out then got the silent treatment for 2 months, and it appeared she had ditched him (I think she may be an avoidant). This seemed unfair and insenitive as his mum was hospitalised, and then his aunty died not long afterwards. He revealed to me that the story of my dad overwhelmed her, despite her saying he was a hero and that it was beautiful and moving I want to be like him as a dad - this landed on me as I wasn't good enough for her because my dad is dead. She had also previously prayed the rosary for my mum. A few months later, she attended the same catholic house party i went to. I opted to stay silent when she mentioned to others she's met me before, because I had exhausted trying to resolve misunderstanding by this point. She then hooked up with a decade long friend of mine (touching, flirting, invite to ministry event) infront of me, which against the backdrop of unresolved tension and family grief she knew of, was hurtful and insensitive. I didn't react at the party, as I knew I could reach out to my friend and warn him, which is what I did, but in the moment to protect him, I felt the "F U, your dad, and ur mum, and I'll cuck you now" flex alongside my protective instinct. I spoke to my counsellor about the behaviour dynamics, then the host of the party, whom praised me for keeping my cool, and is now not pleased with her. I am surprinsgly close friends with the host now after this, but they are unsure how to approach her - me and my friend considered going to diocese safeguarding, but we don't think they'd act.

Is this all there is?

replies: 15

Im an 18 year old guy, and only recently during my unwanted gap semester post high-school (thanks to university requirements) have these thoughts been exacerbated. I dont understand why I even exist in this society. My "friends" dont even acknowledge... View more

Im an 18 year old guy, and only recently during my unwanted gap semester post high-school (thanks to university requirements) have these thoughts been exacerbated. I dont understand why I even exist in this society. My "friends" dont even acknowledge me and make me feel like im worthless. I have felt like the second choice for everybody for so long I dont even remember if I ever really had a non-fake friend. Ive never been in a loving relationship with a girl, hell even had one interested in me while everybody I know finds the "one" and promptly abandons me. I feel constantly depressed and have episodes where I just feel completely alone. Ive been disassociated with existing for years now and I just zone out all the time. Recently ive been thinking, is this all there is? are these supposed to be the best years of my life? is this really all there is to living, to being in society here on Earth? I feel helpless because I spend most of my time alone and have been taken advantage of by many people who I thought were friends (for hundreds of dollars) as I was just grasping for any social connection. I can't find a job, I will never own a home thanks to the current housing market in Melbourne, I lost a finger because of faulty council equpment, I work out nearly everyday and am in good shape physically but still feel like shit, my chest hurts all the time because of my bad feelings in my head and I feel trapped. The only thing that actually supports me is my music, movies, and videogames, thats about it. This is the first time ive actually stuck my feelings to something tangible, aside from just reposting negative content online. Has anybody else had these feelings? Who do I even go to for help? how do I even move forward in life when its over before it started? is there something wrong with me? why am I wired this way? 🫩

Homeless and hopeless

replies: 9

I have no idea what to do. The journey is too long to write it all and the crux of it is that I’ve lost all of my family and friends, my relationship, and my home, I have no money, and I don’t know what to do. I got a hotel for tonight instead of sle... View more

I have no idea what to do. The journey is too long to write it all and the crux of it is that I’ve lost all of my family and friends, my relationship, and my home, I have no money, and I don’t know what to do. I got a hotel for tonight instead of sleeping in my car, but I haven’t been able to leave the bed since I checked in. I can’t eat, and every time I sleep I wake up with electric bolts of anxiety through my body. I feel sick constantly. i feel like a weak human who isn’t able to find my place in the world. I don’t even understand who I am. I’m a 30 year old woman, I moved to Australia from the UK for a better life. How I was treated as a kid means there’s so many layers and I’ve felt empty my entire life. I found someone and fell in love and I ruined it. I hate feeling sorry for myself and I hate that I cannot physically move from this bed. I hate that I’ve hurt people around me by trying to do what I thought was right, because I’m always wrong. am I stupid, or just so messed up from childhood that I’ll never be able to function as a normal human being? Why do I never feel good enough? And why don’t I look after myself and my body when I feel low? I’m fully aware that not eating for days or moving my body, or doing anything at all is so unhealthy for me and my body feels like it’s deteriorating. But I’m stuck in this paralysis where I can’t make any decisions or look after myself. The heaviness of everything is too much. I just want to feel better. I just want to know what my next step is when I wake up tomorrow and find myself back in my car with nowhere to go and no one to talk to. In terms of health: I’m losing my sight. next week I’ll find out the results of my brain MRI. Maybe it’ll be nothing, or maybe it’ll be a tumour, or MS. I have nerve degeneration behind my eyes and I’ve lost 6% of my vision. I’m worried, but worse, I’m going to be going alone. I'm in so much emotional pain and feel like I’m completely frozen and not able to make decisions. I can go and find a house share, I work part time so I can afford a room somewhere. But I have no idea on the location and I’m scared of starting again. I just want life to be easy. I want to be loved and feel connection and not constantly feel so alone.

Life straight after high school.

replies: 2

I just recently finished high school over 6 months ago and ever since I’ve had this dreadful mindset where everything I do feels pointless now. High school was rough for me as I dealt with bullying so I always assumed after high school I’d feel amazi... View more

I just recently finished high school over 6 months ago and ever since I’ve had this dreadful mindset where everything I do feels pointless now. High school was rough for me as I dealt with bullying so I always assumed after high school I’d feel amazing because I would be away from it. But it’s been 6 months and I have no motivation, going to work feels more challenging than it used to and hanging out with friends feels like a chore. I start university next year which I worked really hard to get into but I’m scared that in the next 5 months this mindset will worsen and I’ll carry this sadness with me to university. I just wanted to see if anyone else felt like this after finishing high school and what they did to come out of this mindset? Have a beautiful day

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