need someone to talk to

[car10001]

hi everyone

going through stuff and am ok just need someone to talk to.

came across a tiktok video of a girl whos lost her mother and her brother styled her hair for her to cheer her up.

what has happened is that it upset me because of missing out and am really wanting to re create that experience with sister or girl my age, the video reminded me of how much am wanting meaningful moments with a girl my age.

this year is 20 years since my mothers been gone and that same year was my year 12 formal and took a cousin and it also reminded me,

how do you find someone willing, plan to ask sister if shes willing or can reccomend someone.

feel left out and am missing out on these meaningful moments

thanks for anyone willing to listen

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Grief for the loss of someone is deep and can include grieving for the activities you once did with that person. It becomes a challenge to do without those connecting moments. So you are quite normal in your feelings.

I lost my dad 32 years ago and he was wonderful. Since then I've watched father and son moments and it brings chills that I had those moments with him. After a while I realised a few things-

• He would not want me grieving so often about what my loss is.
• That I can seek out - not a replacement- but a person that can fill some of the void.

So, a family friend and I got closer over many years and he was 16 years older than I. For years he treated me like a son and I supplied him wood and his carpentry skill found that the wood returned in the form of furniture. Eventually he was treated as a dad. He passed away last year but his wife is now my mother. On mothers day I plan to drive 3 hours to give her flowers.

It might be hard for you to find such love and care but keep a look out in your friendships and when you begin to connect with someone ask them if they can visit your house where you then ask them to so sisterly projects together.

Best friends arent easy to establish but I'm sure with that huge heart of yours- you'll find these special people in your life. You just cant rush these things.

Writing is also a way to help your grief even though its been 20 years since your mum passed on, grieving after such a long time s fine, in fact it reminds us of their love. I treat my grief of my dad that he's tapping on my window reminding me of his love for me.

Here is an example of how I channel my love and grief for my dad.

DAD’S WRINKLES

Soon it became obvious

As my ol’ man came of age

That the strain of life itself

Did complete another page

And as his ‘book’ filled up

To approach the final scene

I knew each wrinkle on his face

And which one came from me

And as I read the last line

Of the chapter not complete

It tells of his twilight years

That he knew he’d never meet

Dad was never scared to die

He faced it brave and strong

And I knew each wrinkle on his face

And where they did come from….

TonyWK

[car10001]

how do you find a girl yours and your sisters age to style her hair for her if sister cant help so you can re create the tiktok video where a brother did his sister hair for her because she was upset.

want to be able to re create that video and do a girls hair wether its sister or another girl our age

[sbella02]

Hey there, thank you so much for posting here, welcome to the forums. I'm so sorry for your loss. I can understand the feeling of craving meaningful experiences with people, so I'll offer some advice from my own experiences.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I gather that the act of styling somebody's hair represents quality time and a meaningful, intimate connection with somebody, and that this is what you're after. In this case, there may be small ways to form a connection with somebody that can lead to you both doing these kinds of activities together.

Joining local clubs or groups can be good ways to find people, as well as attending local events based on your interests. Markets can be a nice place to meet people, if you get to have a chat with storeowners or other market-goers. You may find people who share common hobbies or interests, and these connections can lead to meaningful and intimate moments.

Otherwise, it sounds like your plan may be a good idea, to either ask your sister whether she would be interested in being your temporary hair model, or would have somebody in mind who would be interested. It sounds like it could be a good bonding experience for the two of you.

I hope this helps, please feel free to keep chatting with us if you'd like, we're here to support you.

Take care, SB