high functioning depression

[Guest_7878]

hey there,

i made this thread for people who can go through day to day life and get out of bed but still feel empty and sad or just numb/tired/done or anything like that.

depression obviously comes in a lot of different forms but those of you with mild or moderate depression that mostly affects your mental world/motivations/outlook rather than taking a severe toll on your daily requirements are still so extremely valid and deserve as much support and love as you need.

please feel free to talk about any of your experiences/feelings here, open to anyone

love you all 💛

[Gambit87]

Since my highschool years (now 32) ive always felt a loneliness/sadness i could never describe! so I never talked about it. I also didn't know who I could talk about it with.

So I just repressed it and kept going. everytime the sad/lonely feelings surfaced, I just put it down to having a bad day and moved on. I kept on getting up and going to work, socializing etc etc - all the things people do. Although There were times where I did feel happy and confident and a clear mind.

The blackdog bit me hard the day before new years eve. It gave me the kick in the butt I needed to seek help.

For the longest time I felt like I was in a row boat in the vast ocean going no where. I now feel like I have a guiding star, a light house and a billion stars helping me navigate life.

[Guest_7878]

Totally!

for the longest time I would have very short episodes that would last a week or less and then I would feel better for a bit and then I’d have another one not long later. It took my parents four years to realise that when I felt happy I wasn’t actually getting better and the episodes weren’t going away. I’ve been having therapy for a year now and my psychiatrist just recently said she might put me on medication which actually lit up my entire world! Many people are ashamed or resentful of having to take medicine but I’m so excited because it means that I’m not meant to just keep living with this exhaustion, unhappiness and lack of motivation just because my symptoms don’t affect my day to day life. It’s so important that there is hope for things to be better even for those who’s troubles don’t seem as daunting.

💛💛

[Ilikecake]

I am so glad to read this post. I honestly feel like the only person going through this sometimes.

From the outside world it would appear I have everything makes you 'happy'. A roof over my head, a well paid job, a husband and little money worries etc etc but i go through episodes where I feel like I am on auto pilot and just empty. I get more tired, make more mistakes and wonder when I will have to stop the fake smile.

I know it will pass someday but hoping it will be soon.

[CalmCat]

hi Ilikecake,

Welcome to the forum, and thanks for the heartfelt first post.

Being on the forum and sharing anything (as you have), could resonate with someone else. Helping them with the current struggle they're going through.

I definitely feel you with the 'fake smile', I have to do it all the time at work.

Speaking of work how have you been with working at home while there has been lock down?

Regards,

Doz

[Gambit87]

Hi Ilikecake,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for you post!

The thing to remember is that you are never alone!

For the longest time I walked around with a fake smile, where I too felt like I was in autopilot and empty and felt like I was alone and no one could understand what I was going through. I felt like a burden so I didnt talk to anyone about it, just kept it buried and moved on.

Now, im finding im having real feelings of happiness, im smiling real smiles. I'm talking about my feelings freely.

It takes work, but it does get better!

all the best.

[Valentina]

How did it start to get better? asking for a friend