Just so exhausted and tired.

[Guest_41124914]

Life has just changed so much recently. My partner and I broke up and the only reason I was given was because I didn't pick him up for our two year anniversary. (I later found out through his twitter he was gay, which I would have understood as a response rather than 'you didn't pick me up) He just also kept ignoring me and talking to his other friends, and waited for me to initiate the breakup before he did so as well. My best friend moved to another city for university. I guess, I just sort of realised once again, how hopelessly alone I am. Sure, I have friends. But I learnt that I am a second choice for all of them. I am not a first choice friend for anyone. I feel so sad, that all I need is a good cry, but I'm so emotionally numb I can't. I'm just left clutching my plushies, thinking back on past memories. I guess, I just wish I was more important to people? I just want to go back to school, because as much as it sucked, I had my whole world with me then. Now its fractured into pieces and nobody is there to help me put the parts together.

[indigo22]

Hi,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I can relate to much of what you have written about, I was always attracting the wrong people into my life. The thing that I learned over many years (now in my 60s), is that the one person you most need to love is yourself.

When you have learned how to love yourself (I am still learning), you have a higher vibrational energy and so attract people into your life that have a similar vibrational energy. When you are filled with love for yourself, the overflow will pour out of you onto others and that is a magnetic quality that will draw the right people to you.

Loving yourself is as simple as doing things that make you feel good, make you happy, seeing the good things in yourself that are worth appreciating, and embracing the things in yourself that you may see as not so good. They are all a part of who you are and need to be loved.

Keeping a journal of things you are grateful for is a good start, followed by thinking of things you can do for yourself that will give you a lift and making them part of your daily routine. That could be meditation, going for a walk in nature, healthy eating, reading, bubble baths, your favorite music, doing something creative, trying something you have never done before, or any number of other things that light you up from the inside.

I hope this helps and I am happy to continue the conversation if you wish.

Take good care of yourself,

indigo

[smallwolf]

Hello and welcome.

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. That’s a lot of change and loss to process at once, and it makes sense that you’re feeling alone and disconnected. It’s hard when someone you cared about wasn’t honest with you. Well... I would think so. And losing a best friend’s physical presence at the same time only makes it harder.

Wondering if it is the feeling of being alone and down, that makes you feel unimportant? I tend to make generalizations then. Not saying this applies to you. And then when you do talk to someone, they can remind you that you are worthwhile.

Do you want to tell me a little about yourself?  And "school"... high school? Or study?

What sort of things are you interested in? Sometimes reconnecting with things you enjoy—or even exploring something new—can help bring a little light into tough times.

Sorry about all the questions, answer what you want (or not).

Listening if you wanted to chat...