Worthless

[Guest_1055]

Hello

I am wanting to know if anyone else feels just worthless. And what they did about that feeling that creeps inside of you.

Thanks

[Guest_1055]

Hello Kaz- If you happen to fly in here on this thread today, well here is a big hello to you. Hope you have a good day at work.

With love

Shelley xx

[Guest_1055]

Hello Mr Scotchfinger- Yes I do think you and Sherie are right, I have been wearing myself out, my heart was feeling a bit overwhelmed and heavy. That is why I like you so much because so many times, you have bought a lightness to my heart and helped me to smile and even laugh. 

Hugs

Shelley xx

[Guest_1055]

Hey Wayne

I was so glad to see your little Shaun the Sheep picture come up. It looks so familiar to me now. I notice Shaun even in the supermarket now up where the DVD's are. I am telling you this because every time that I do see Shaun, I think of you out on your property with your lambs and little Lucy. If you are still in the dark place, please know I care. 

Hugs

Shelley xx

[Guest_1055]

Good Morning Sherie

Did you sleep alright last night Sherie?

I had trouble accessing BB the other night as well, well the forum part, it was like it was locked up. I haven't seen your post you mentioned as yet, but I will keep a look out for it. I too have just written one to CW, but it has not appeared as yet.

You know I believe you are right, I think you said maybe I should take a break from BB, well I have taken your advice in a way, just coming here less. Did you mention you may becoming addicted to this BB thing? Well I think I was, and maybe still am as well. For I found myself rushing to this device here, that I use to type on, to see if anyone had replied to a post that I well....posted. I was getting some sort of buzz or high when I saw someone had replied. I am not sure if that is normal or not??

 Well I think you maybe working today as well, though I can't be sure of that. Well if you are, I do hope you have a good day.

Hugs

Shelley xxx

PS- Hope this post comes to you soon ....it is now almost 7:30 am.

[Durras]

Hi Shelly,

Yes it is normal as I often keep checking in to see if someone has responded to me. I think I am also becoming addicted to this BB forum but for me (don't know if it is with you or anyone else) for me personally it is that I feel I finally fit somewhere in this life, even if it is through a screen. I'm not being judged, belittled, or criticised, I know people reading do understand me or where I'm at and coming from. Knowing all this makes my day through the darkness the I feel stuck and lost in.

The only thing I do hope is that when I reply or post it makes sense and does help the next person or whoever reads it.

Hope your well and hug to you

Durras

[Guest_5218]

Hi Shell,

No, I didnt get much sleep last night at all.  Usual nightmares had me up and about.  Then I couldnt get back to sleep afterward, as I was worrying about all sorts of silly things.  Thought of things I need to do at work which were bothering me too, so I will go in this morning and clear the decks a bit there.  One less thing to worry needlessly about!

I just checked again, and the post I sent you yesterday morning has still not come through.  I dont know why they would have held it up, as there wasnt anything horrible in it?  In that post, among other things, I mentioned to you Shelley that there is a Thread that was opened in the Depression area of the Forums called "Shelley anne".  Have you seen it yet?  I wanted to bring it to your attention in case you hadnt.

Yes I did mention that I was becoming addicted to BB Forums.  Every chance I get I go to the computer with great anticipation, log in and check to see if anyone has responded to any of my posts.  It is a bit of a high when people respond to you, isnt it?  And its also pretty disappointing when there are no replies and you feel a bit let down.  Judging from Durras's response, it sounds like this isnt unusual.  I'm glad about that!  It is nice to have genuine interaction with people who actually understand you, so Durras is probably right about that.  Still, there may be times that we all need to take a step back a bit.  Especially someone who takes others problems to heart, and feels for others, as much as you do.  At the end of the day, we need to look after ourselves first and foremost.  

And yes, your 7.30am post came through straight away.  I read it just after, but havent responded until after breakfast.  Its now 8.45am.

I hope you have a good day Shelley.  Hugs to you .........

Sherie xx

[Chicken_Wings]

Work has been slow winding back up, I think in some ways I am glad for it, in others I wish I had more to keep me busy.

i realised yesterday that I haven't looked in the main forums for a long time and I've probably missed a lot of things you've all posted. Sometimes I just don't know what to say any more. I don't know how to make things better, I wish I did. I think sometimes i want to help and I can't and it makes me sad, so I've started avoiding looking.

Sherie I had issues accessing the forums too. I think it was a problem with the site. I felt a bit lost not being able to post, even though I didn't really know what to say. If you don't use technology maybe you could have a puzzle book or something ready for when you need it after a scary night? Something that makes you think, like crosswords or sudoku?

Shelley I hope you are well today, I hope you're feeling loved and cared for. I hate when my house is messy too, but you know staying in the room too long isn't good for you. Do you feel like doing some tidying or could you pop out of the house for a little while? 

I should get ready for work now. 

[Guest_5218]

Hi Durras.  I agree with you about the BB site addiction, as I have touched on in my reply to Shelley above.

But let me reassure you that your concern that your posts are not making sense, is totally unfounded.  I have read a number of lovely posts from you over the past few days, and they have been very clear and understandable.  And they have been offering wonderful support and understanding as well as providing practical and helpful ideas to people.  So please do not think that your posts are not hitting the mark, because I'm confident that they are.  I think you are starting to gain some confidence in your own ability to help people as well?  And so you should.

Please have no doubts that you are making sense, and you are helping people.  Keep it up.....

Sherie xx

[Durras]

Hi Sherie,

Thank you for your response and those beautiful words your shared.

Yes I am starting to feel a little more confident within myself, thou still understandably a long journey ahead.

What makes it easier is to know I have BB and lovely people to share my thoughts, feelings, accomplishments with. Hey my life as it is, in chaos and lost but with a few positive glimpses of sanity.

Hope you have a good day at work but most of all hope you have a good sleep tonight. Sorry to hear about the migraines I know they are nasty and they can knock ya around.

All the best and chat soon

 Hugs

Durras

[Guest_5218]

Hi CW.  I always find I am better when I am busy, as it doesnt allow your mind as long to dwell on other things.

I find it a bit difficult with music or games or reading or anything else at night really.  Because of my husband alongside, I try to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb him.  But when I start having nightmares, and cant settle afterwards, I often head into the spare room so that at least I'm not disturbing him any more than necessary.  So I suppose I could leave something in there for when I need a puzzle or a book or music perhaps. Its good advice and I will look into doing that.

Do you think that reading all the threads and posts on the site are making you more depressed or anxious CW?  I agree its hard when you see how much pain and suffering there is in this world.  And then knowing that there is nothing you can do to help.  All we do is offer words of understanding, comfort and, in some cases, advise.  

I think for me personally, learning of everyone else's hardships, I have started to put my own issues into perspective.  And I now realise that I am really pretty well off compared to many others. As a result I am probably a little less self absorbed.  So for me, it has definitely been of benefit.  And being able to talk to people who understand is important to me.  I really dont have any friends, or anyone else, to talk to, so for me the benefits outweigh the possible harm.  I hope that is the case for you too?  

And I wouldnt worry too much about catching up with all the posts anyway, so dont push yourself on that count.  It isnt necessary.  Just come and go as you feel able to.  This is not meant to become a chore you know.

Now I'm rambling.  I do hope work is getting busier for you, and that you have a good day today.

Sherie xx