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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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C_L25 no direction, no joy.
  • replies: 3

Hi there, I am seriously struggling. From an early age I was subjected to sexual abuse and through fear and threats I was forced to remain quiet about it for many years. Almost 10 years later, through a member of family whom was also affected by this... View more

Hi there, I am seriously struggling. From an early age I was subjected to sexual abuse and through fear and threats I was forced to remain quiet about it for many years. Almost 10 years later, through a member of family whom was also affected by this our story came out, we went to the police and the courts process began and the perpetrator was sentenced to 13 years in prison. This time was emotional for all our family and accordingly we were referred to a counselor in this area of expertise who I saw on a weekly basis. Counselling seemed to assist over the 2 year period I attended and I found myself needing to go there less, and my willingness to go out and socialize with people and achieve day to day activities gradually started to increase. For the next few years I seemed to be fine, I lost a heap of weight, actually managed to complete my degree and work two cafe jobs and maintain a reasonably stable work/life balance.About mid-way last year I decided to properly pursue my career using the degree I had achieved and in doing so resigned from my cafe job at the time, giving a full months notice and thoroughly explaining that I was doing this for me, to start pursuing the job I had worked so hard for. I had began applying for jobs since I completed my degree in 2013, and throughout 2014. By July I had still heard either nothing or "no" from dozens of applied jobs so as a last resort to not do nothing and earn some cash over summer I applied for a job at Aldi. Shocked I received a reply in minutes and was successful in my application.After being accepted though I felt this overwhelming guilt that all who had received my 'searching for my career' info had been deceived and I became embarrassed and withdrawn.This feeling continually ate at me which I ignored as I kept thinking to myself "a job is a job', but that feeling of worthlessness & not being able to achieve anything higher than a supermarket job caused me to shy away from not only my old work colleagues but friends and family as well.I cry so much and feel constantly down and dissatisfied. Motivation to do daily things that I enjoy such as walking or going out have gone over the past year and now I can not even go out in public without my chest tightening and feeling anxious at how much people will judge me for my past choices and how little I have achieved.I also feel everyone hates me.I actually have no idea how to get back on track as my past habits and current feelings have severely intertwined

Beryl Im like an actor playing the part of my own life. Does anyone realy understand?
  • replies: 81

Its a good day today, so im saying hello to everyone out there for the first time ever. i am beryl, i have deep depression, anxiety, ptsd and an eating disorder. I have lots of other physical things wrong too. Ive been depressed for many years and i ... View more

Its a good day today, so im saying hello to everyone out there for the first time ever. i am beryl, i have deep depression, anxiety, ptsd and an eating disorder. I have lots of other physical things wrong too. Ive been depressed for many years and i think it is my normal. Over the years it deepens and recedes in slow cycles. I just cant sort it out. Sometimes i think my life is not so bad, then other times it seems unbearable. My head is a big bowl of water and i balance it so well people dont see the tears as i never spill them with other people. There are no other people, there never has been. But now, after all this time there is all of you out there. Yes, im smiling at you. Maybe, just a tiny maybe, im not completely alone? Its sad to think there is someone else in this half life. Could we help each other? Is there light at the end of the tunnel? More importantly i dont think my tunnel has an end. Im so tired of plodding down it. So tired and for what? More of the same. Most of the time im numb, there is no enjoyment at all. I wonder if that realy exists. How does happy feel? What is it? These days i hardly leave the house. I dont actually want to do anything- thats anything. My mind is so fuzzy i havnt been able to read a book for so many years now. Im like an actor playing the part of my own life. Does anyone realy understand? Or am i in this foggy bubble alone, so alone, for ever? Is there anyone out there?

Crystal Recently diagnosed with Melancholic depression: seeking advice
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone has beaten Melancholic depression without medication ? Or how they manage it without medication ? Though if you do take medication, what are the effects ? I don't really want to take medication, I am hoping a specific... View more

Hi, I'm just wondering if anyone has beaten Melancholic depression without medication ? Or how they manage it without medication ? Though if you do take medication, what are the effects ? I don't really want to take medication, I am hoping a specific psychologist could possibly help me instead of numbing myself out completely. I have been battling it since I was 11 and I am now 28, a variety of traumatic experience have occurred throughout my life which have effected my behaviour, mood and trust. I never wanted to admit it was actually depression, but the rubber has hit the road, so to speak. Both my parents suffer from a mental illness, my mother has paranoia schizophrenia and my dad is bipolar, I thought sharing that may help because I was told Melancholic is genetic,and maybe someone on beyond blue shares a similar story. I also suffer from PTSD, I know everyone is different, but what I have read on beyond blue I don't suffer it severely, this is all new to me talking about my situation, because growing up we were never allowed to talk about my mums sickness due to the stigma. My counselor mentioned this website about two months ago, I was abit stand offish at first but then got thinking who better to ask advice then from those who are going through or have experienced a similar illness, any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for your time, Crystal.

Mr_Crumpets The Little Black Cloud
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, Please excuse if this first post I make here is a ramble. Don't know what really to say or ask for. The best I can describe it as a little black cloud that has reappeared over my head again. It's not a regular thing, but it appears every... View more

Hi everyone, Please excuse if this first post I make here is a ramble. Don't know what really to say or ask for. The best I can describe it as a little black cloud that has reappeared over my head again. It's not a regular thing, but it appears every once in a blue moon, where I'm down and just want to be shut off from everyone I know. I'm okay to go outside, to the shops (etc), but want to stay clear of people I know. To explain this latest little black cloud, this weekend was supposed to be a pretty big weekend at our cricket club with our biggest social event of the year, Halloween Night. During the week I told my teammates I wasn't going to be getting a costume this year (like everyone else) but was still going to DJ their party. There was constant nagging that I needed to get one, so took out one of those pay day loans (I get paid monthly) to get one. Come yesterday (Halloween), there was other nagging of me of if I made sure everyone had got a lift to the game - I captain a bottom grade side that has a number of juniors playing - while at the same time being nagged to set up my DJ equipment before I head to the game (some 7 hours early). Someone who said they didn't need a lift changed their mind at the last second, so I was feeling that black cloud roll in. Get to the ground and the match starts late due to the weather, I forget that we're one short and when one of other sides come to watch (whose game was called off), I get nagged again for not asking them to lend a sub fielder. These are small naggings but it just feel like a heavy and heavier pressure. During the course of the day, under this cloud, I forget to collect match payments and now dread I'll be nagged about that. The final straw was at the end of the game, someone who I caught a lift to the ground with said someone else would give me a list back to our home clubrooms. After I finish all the captain's paperwork, I find no-one left! I leave a message on our what's app group saying I need and lift and someone suggests I take a taxi, instead of turning back to pick me up - triggering off this little black cloud! I finally make my way to the clubrooms, grab my hired halloween costume, give everyone a dirty look, live my DJ gear and headed straight home. I switched my phone off for 24 hours and refused to talk to anyone. What hurts is I took 4 wickets yesterday (my best ever bowling), but never enjoyed it. Now I fear having to front and communicate with them all at training.

geekgirl0000 Is it always going to be this way ?
  • replies: 10

So here is my tale of woe. I'm in my late 30's, single and have zero friends. I have not been in a real relationship since I was 20 years old. I don't know how to relate to people. I make what turns out to be bad decisions that have hurt others aroun... View more

So here is my tale of woe. I'm in my late 30's, single and have zero friends. I have not been in a real relationship since I was 20 years old. I don't know how to relate to people. I make what turns out to be bad decisions that have hurt others around me. I sit at my laptop each night and want to connect to people. I want someone to care about me and tell me that I am worth the effort to visit my house. Even my own family don't even bother. For the last 18 months I have been sliding backwards into a puddle of go. I was passionate about things and felt the fire in my belly. Now I can't even concentrate on something long enough to feel anything. I want to work in an industry that requires empathy but I look at people and feel nothing. Is it always going to be like this ?

Kimbles I am pretending everything is ok but really it's not
  • replies: 3

I am very new to the forum world am quite frankly this scares me. I have been suffering depression for what seems most of my life with periods of very dark times followed by some times where I feel I doing ok. I am in a dark place right now and feel ... View more

I am very new to the forum world am quite frankly this scares me. I have been suffering depression for what seems most of my life with periods of very dark times followed by some times where I feel I doing ok. I am in a dark place right now and feel so alone. I surround myself with people who have absolutely no idea what is going inside. I just feel sad all the time. I have isolated myself over the last 12 months as I feel paranoid that why would anyone want to be my friend. I have nothing to offer. I over analysis everything and quite frankly I am exhausted feeling this way. I have a family but I have pushed my husband away, I am pretending everything is ok but really itś not. I hate it, I just feel that everyone hates me.

chickenpie Hi I am acutely depressed, anxious and also alcoholic
  • replies: 6

I have cut back my drinking a lot this year and thought alcohol was the problem, then when I stopped I was still acutely depressed and anxious and am now addressing these issues as well. I have been attending AA meetings for three years (am only 19 d... View more

I have cut back my drinking a lot this year and thought alcohol was the problem, then when I stopped I was still acutely depressed and anxious and am now addressing these issues as well. I have been attending AA meetings for three years (am only 19 days sober, have gotten 5 months but was still very mentally ill and did not realise it), thought because I was not drinking I was anxious/depressed and now realise these actually came before the addiction. Have had gr8 support from lots of AA members, the mental health crisis assessment team at my local hospital and today is my first time on the forums here. Am much better today after waking up in tears again as recently as yesterday and fearing I may have to be hosipitalised (the mental health team have visited in my home). I have only just realised how crippling acute depression and anxiety can be because of the self medicating and addiction, I thought drugs and alcohol alone were my problem. Anyhooo wanted to post this as a thread as I have looked for similar ones and not found anything recent (last was around 2014) and am not familiar with threads or posting so just wanted to touch base and share and get any feedback that may be out there that's more recent. Gr8ful for a good start to my day today, hanging in there after putting the rope over the rafter and chair underneath as recently as 15 or so days ago....so used to self medicating but now nowhere left to run, don't want to do it anymore and am taking positive steps and actually GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE, WALKING AND TALKING TO PEOPLE :0! I guess y'all no how hard that is when depressed and even worse when you isolate through drinking, it's been decades. Just wanted to share that, and say hello and put it out there in the cyberverse, don't really understand how it all works....

Broken_stooge Relapse help
  • replies: 3

Today I awoke feeling exhausted again for no reason. This is a familiar feeling, only it has worsened again over the past few months. I know this way of life, I have battled and thought I had won... but it seems that the feeling of rapid heartbeat an... View more

Today I awoke feeling exhausted again for no reason. This is a familiar feeling, only it has worsened again over the past few months. I know this way of life, I have battled and thought I had won... but it seems that the feeling of rapid heartbeat and quick anger can never truly be forgotten. A simple morning as many other before, my loving partner holding me, the kids being kids as they argue about nothing every morning. Then there is me, swirling and churning inside my head. A thousand thoughts colliding and rebounding off one another. I can't hear anything and it feels like I am falling... Yes, I remember this daemon. I remember it well. For years I tried to blast it away, drinking and smoking until sleep finally took me. Then I got clean. Clear, calm and collected. Relaxed. Today, for the first time in a long time. Today I feel it on my back again. Crushing the life from me. Was it ever truly gone? How can it be back? As I look into the loving eyes of my partner, she is always there. Ready to catch me, but how do I tell her about this infection? This metaphorical cancerous entity that has one hand around my heart and whispers destitute into my ears? How do I tell her that I feel this way? Why do I feel this way??? Life is good to me, I work full time, have a partner who loves me and kids that see me as a role model. My family is great. We have always had a roof over our heads and never missed a meal... but this pressure on my head is killing me. I can't go through this again and I do not wish to put them through it either... Emotions never were my strong point, but I feel great love and appreciation for them. Losing them would be like losing my own soul. If I knew how to ask for help normally, I would. I have tried the tablets, but they fixed nothing. I have tried counselling, again they fixed nothing. This has been fluctuating on and off for the best part of 20 years, I can't go through this again.

lre_01 The last thing I want to do is burden my family with my thoughts and feelings
  • replies: 2

Hi! My name is Loz. I'm a wife to a supporting husband and a mother to two beautiful girls, ironically I feel so alone. The last thing I want to do is burden my family with my thoughts and feelings. I have been experiencing depression off and on for ... View more

Hi! My name is Loz. I'm a wife to a supporting husband and a mother to two beautiful girls, ironically I feel so alone. The last thing I want to do is burden my family with my thoughts and feelings. I have been experiencing depression off and on for the last 12 years and I have been on anti depressants and seen physiologists. For a large part of that time, I've been self medicating with alcohol. I know that I can't continue down this path and I need to make a change. My job is very stressful and there are days that I just want to walk out.I keep pushing myself to carry on and put on that brave face. I feel somewhat awkward posting this. I'm not one to usually do this sort of thing. I want to be happy again and be the wife and mum that I should be and need to be.

BBUser10 what to do when Depression strikes
  • replies: 8

Hi all i've come to the conclusion that I have very little chance of a full recovery ( only took 6 years for me to admit it). this came about today with one of the many colourful discussions with my wife who said I've been trying different things for... View more

Hi all i've come to the conclusion that I have very little chance of a full recovery ( only took 6 years for me to admit it). this came about today with one of the many colourful discussions with my wife who said I've been trying different things for years to cure myself, and maybe it's time to accept the condition and learn how to live with it rather than fight all the time. I feel she right as it takes so much energy to fight and I'm tired I just want to live my life , save my marriage and spend time with my kids. so my question is when you feel an episode of depression comming what do you do to accept it and get on with your life ? Hopefully it's possible . also I don't always know when it's going to happen , so can anyone tell me how they know when it's happening ?i also have anxiety Attacks , but i find these easier to deal with TIA MR

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