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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Robbie81 Adoption related Depression and Anxiety
  • replies: 5

Hi, I have recently been diagnosed with Depression and anxiety. I believe that I have been suffering badly from these illnesses for about 3 years , however the more i learn about Depression and anxiety i believe that this has been around my whole lif... View more

Hi, I have recently been diagnosed with Depression and anxiety. I believe that I have been suffering badly from these illnesses for about 3 years , however the more i learn about Depression and anxiety i believe that this has been around my whole life. I was adopted at 4 months of age and I feel a lot of my issues relate to being adopted, abandoned and never feeling i fitt in with my adoptive family. I would like to speak with anyone who has a similar experience or even adoptive or birth parents to get their perspective. Thanks. Cam.

Spinifex I feel so lost and deeply sad that nothing can cheer me up again!
  • replies: 13

Hi all, Been trying so hard to keep my inner strength intact and then I realise i have been putting a mask on my emotions that i feel like i am coming apart at the seams. I am fighting the hardest battle in my life. Myself. Coming right back to this ... View more

Hi all, Been trying so hard to keep my inner strength intact and then I realise i have been putting a mask on my emotions that i feel like i am coming apart at the seams. I am fighting the hardest battle in my life. Myself. Coming right back to this dont fit in to this world again feeling. My real battle is that i know i have most of the answers to my own problems but get so lost then i get oozing waves of deppressed emotions so strong that causes panic attacks and feelings of uselessness. Everthing is such an effort and i am feel like i am winging even when i am seeking help and support. I am unemployed Horticulturist and reached a point in my life being 50 years old that time is flying by and yet i cringe every day i waste away with sabotaging thought processes and realising i am not very employable due to unreliability due to not coping eventhough i have tried cbt and councellors. How do you guys hold down a job when you're moods fluctuate that it impacts your performance reguraly? Does anybody actually understand me here? I read the newspaper today and upon reading the latest cases of terrible domestic violence i cried like a baby. Whats my problem i said to myself but i am still deppressed to the core. Hope to chat to somebody who understands me.Mick

MisterM Constant rejection, no future
  • replies: 8

Sick of everything at the moment. I got fired from a job in real estate 2 months ago (for not gelling with the team and not being dynamic enough). I am most likely going to get fired from a job I have been in for a month tomorrow as I am not quick en... View more

Sick of everything at the moment. I got fired from a job in real estate 2 months ago (for not gelling with the team and not being dynamic enough). I am most likely going to get fired from a job I have been in for a month tomorrow as I am not quick enough (as a waiter in a cafe). A girl I like seems to not like me back (never had a girlfriend and am 31 years old, keep getting rejected) I have started performing my songs live at open mic sessions and I suck, I can't even do the thing I love the most well. I don't know what to do with myself. I am a big failure at everything I try. Sick of rejections and failures everywhere. I feel like I was a mistake being born into this world. My medication seems to not be working lately. Feeling so low.

Arbutus Struggling
  • replies: 5

Here I go - my first post. I've been on other community forums before, quite a bit in fact, but I feel quite vulnerable here for some reason. It feels awkward. Anyway I am struggling so I will attempt to tell my story in the hope of getting some supp... View more

Here I go - my first post. I've been on other community forums before, quite a bit in fact, but I feel quite vulnerable here for some reason. It feels awkward. Anyway I am struggling so I will attempt to tell my story in the hope of getting some support. I am a 60 year old woman. I live alone with my 2 old doggies and work part time. I had a chronic illness, which I have now conquered and cleared, but I have residual fatigue which limits my ability to work. I am generally quite well, pretty fit, and on the surface I appear comfortable. Inside, however, I am feeling extremely isolated and this is causing anxiety and depression. I have quite a good job but no job security so I'm never certain when it will end so I am always on the lookout for something else. But because I am limited to part time work I find the opportunities are limited and when I do apply for jobs I don't even get an interview. I live in a nice little house that I rent but again I have had no security here as the landlord didn't renew my lease. I have a difficult relationship with him because he treats me like I'm an idiot so now I am trying to move and this is causing me a lot of anxiety. Those are the two main sort of big-ticket items, but really it is my whole life that is getting to me. I'm just so unhappy. I have very few friends and pretty much nobody to talk to. I take my dogs to the dog park every day and there used to be a really good group there who I got quite close to, but over time the dogs passed away and the group dissolved and now my dogs & I walk by ourselves. My family all lives overseas. For a few years we were all in touch regularly with an active email loop. But now in the age of mobile devices the emails are all shorter and they often don't reply at all. They have each other and I have often tried to convey to them that I would appreciate more contact but I don't get anywhere with that. A recent trip to visit them was excruciatingly frustrating for me and I cried myself to sleep each night while I was there. I am seeing a counselor, just started last week. I will continue that, with another appointment next week. He is lovely but I feel my issues are quite deep and will take some time to peel away the layers. I'm struggling in the meantime and not coping well. I get anxious and panicky and start crying and can't stop. Even meditation isn't helping and I am trying to address my social isolation but so far it all feels too hard. Thanks for your help.

Footyfan23 Help to manage depression anxiety!!
  • replies: 7

Things in my life are just getting harder and harder at the moment. I recently lost my job and things have gone down hill since. I have always put on a smile and tried to make people any people that I meet smile but deep down I feel as if I am slowly... View more

Things in my life are just getting harder and harder at the moment. I recently lost my job and things have gone down hill since. I have always put on a smile and tried to make people any people that I meet smile but deep down I feel as if I am slowly rotting from the inside its getting harder and harder to put a smile on when all I want to do is break down. I moved away from my family 2 years ago with my girlfriend and I have recently fallen out with my father which has only added more stress and anxiety in my life I live 3 hours away from my family which is starting to take its toll. My girlfriend is the most amazing person in the world and my best friend but she has had health problems recently and the last thing she needs is me sharing my problems on top of her own. I tried to speak to my mother about the anxiety I have been feeling and all she said back to me was that everyone in our family has it (she didn't understand) I feel alone and lost and worthless with no end in sight. I need something someone to talk to because it's all getting too much.

Robbie81 tried to seek help for depression
  • replies: 5

Hi, i am new here. I have recently sought help from my gp regarding what I believe is depression. I feel i have been struggling to fight off the depression for around 3 years. I have a beautiful family, loving wife, 4 healthy children and a well payi... View more

Hi, i am new here. I have recently sought help from my gp regarding what I believe is depression. I feel i have been struggling to fight off the depression for around 3 years. I have a beautiful family, loving wife, 4 healthy children and a well paying job, nice home ect (nothing to be depressed about)Over the past few years i feel as though everything is increasingly an effort, even on the best days i have to make a conscious effort to be happy, i struggle with confidence and constantly doubt myself at work and home, I feel usesless and stupid. I find myself doubting my relationships with my family and friends and dont want to be around them. I am struggling to get 4hrs a night sleep, (i also work shifts) i worry about things to the point of making myself ill, i constantly feel lonely and need to be hugged touched which im sure is driving my wife away. We have just had a baby 3 months ago so she undestanably has very little time or desire for me but as hard as i try i cannot be rational about this and constantly push her for intimacy, (pushing her away and making me feel horrible) I have been unusually angree at my wife and children and loosing my temper as i have never done before. I got to a very low point after issues at work and home became too much and i left work in tears and decided to seek help. My GP agreed after talking with me that i was suffering depression and prescribed medication. I have only been talking this 2 weeks and have some better days but some worse days even to thoughts of self harm although I don't think I could ever do that to my children. My GP put me on a mental health plan and reffered me to a psychologist. At the initial consultation with the Psychologist she asked a few questions, no where near as in depth as the GP maybe 5mins , then asked so what are you depressed about? followed by i don't think its depression or maybe mild and anxiety . Don't think you need medication just change your diet and exercise and come back in 5 weeks ? I was like WTF ??? So that's where I am at now after finally taking the leap to get help im left feeling worse than beforehand. Im still taking the medication and hoping it has some effects soon or at the very least gives the side effect of loss of sex drive / libido so at least i wont have to worry about that and pushing my wife away. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

sunset Am I Beaten ?
  • replies: 9

I have had severe anxiety and depression for the last nine months. I think it was triggered after taking a small amount of powder cocaine last summer. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, but I was feeling quite dissapointed with my life at the time. ... View more

I have had severe anxiety and depression for the last nine months. I think it was triggered after taking a small amount of powder cocaine last summer. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, but I was feeling quite dissapointed with my life at the time. I didn't like my job, was always arguing with and resenting my girlfriend, I couldn't keep seem to keep still, not sleeping well and drinking and smoking a bit of cannabis every weekend. This went on for a few years. It wasn't great, but it was manageable and I felt ok most of the time. Then things got worse with my job and girlfriend and I just thought what is the point of being stuck in this situation I hate for the rest of my life ? I thought the cocaine might help me enjoy life and I could keep it under control. I had tried it once quite a few years ago.It did what I expected, but not for long. Shortly after taking it I felt fantastic, but then a few days later I was sitting with my girlfriend and felt a sensation in my head like the blood was draining out. Then I started feeling really dizzy and had a massive panic attack and sort of felt like I wasn't real. I tried going to bed and sleeping it off but found I couldn't sleep. These symptoms have continued ever since along with depression and anxiety of a magnitude I never thought possible. I threw away all the cocaine when these symptoms first started and haven't touched any since.I have been doing lots of walking, eating very healthily, trying to do the CA program, cutting down caffeine and nicotine, tracking my mood in a spreadsheet every day and trying to get on with normal things. The insomnia did get better after a few months, maybe after I quit alcohol and I have improved since then in other areas as well. But I am still very depressed and have feelings of overwhelming guilt. I see the bad in everything most of the time and get intrusive thoughts that make me totally hate myself. Things look empty and meaningless and I can't really find enjoyment or pleasure in anything I do.I tried an antidepressant briefly but it made me feel really bad. I couldn't sleep and was having bizarre thoughts so I had to stop after 2 days. I am very frightened of the side effects of prescription drugs and if my problem is essentially addiction, then how can they help because anti depressants are not a silver bullet for addiction.In the evening after dinner when the sun sets is my favorite time because I usually feel a sense of relative peace and optimism descend on me.

myfears59 Nothing helps
  • replies: 8

I like a lot of people here suffer major depression and anxiety. I cry everyday, feel ill and nervous, hate my life and do not want to be here anymore. I've been through all the steps taking meds which are sickening and cause so many side effects it'... View more

I like a lot of people here suffer major depression and anxiety. I cry everyday, feel ill and nervous, hate my life and do not want to be here anymore. I've been through all the steps taking meds which are sickening and cause so many side effects it's just stupid, I have a Pschycologist, I've seen pschychiatrists, I've been in hospital, I've done writing exercises, mindful practices, exercise, healthy eating, taking vitamins and so much more I haven't written.I asked my Pschycologist one day when she was giving me advice if she'd ever been through anxiety and depression, her answer was no. And there you have it, the people that try to help have usually never been through this debilitating mental torture and it's all just text book to them. I have never felt any relief or felt any better after years of treatment. I work full time as a student supervisor/disability support worker, I was a team leader for 6 yrs, I go to work everyday with no passion for my job anymore and hating every minute of it. My weekends consist of crying and dreading Monday's. I have to work to survive but I wish I could leave, the current team leader is an opinionated, heartless cow who is the managers gay partner so staff do not have a leg to stand on. That is a conflict of interest right there but we can't do anything about it. I have no back up plan, I'm 56 1/2 yrs old and I do not drive so I can't change services either.I have 2 daughters and 3 grandkids that live away from home. I live by myself and I feel alone, isolated and forgotten, even though my mum and brothers live close by, they have their own lives. I have no one to talk to, I don't have any close friends and I've been single for 13 yrs after separating from a mentally and emotionally abusive de facto husband of 23yrs. All I know is I hate living, I'm not suicidal though. Everyday is torture and I know for a fact no treatments work because I've tried it all. So all I can do is just keep living in hell everyday and wait for this nightmare to hurry and end. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

aidjm If your depression were a physical creature, what would it be?
  • replies: 118

I started thinking about this a few weeks back, and I wanted to get some other people's insights. I've done a bit of writing just for something to do, and I was thinking about writing a story about a person whose depression manifests itself as a phys... View more

I started thinking about this a few weeks back, and I wanted to get some other people's insights. I've done a bit of writing just for something to do, and I was thinking about writing a story about a person whose depression manifests itself as a physical being. For me, I kind of pictured it as a big black lizard-thing that sits on my shoulders and digs in with its claws, and doesn't want to let go. What about you guys?

Astara So tired of pretending
  • replies: 4

I haven't been here for a while and have been a reader rather than much of a poster but am so exhausted pretending to be okay that I need somewhere to say that I'm really not okay. My partner of 8 1/2 years left me in March. I wasn't really expecting... View more

I haven't been here for a while and have been a reader rather than much of a poster but am so exhausted pretending to be okay that I need somewhere to say that I'm really not okay. My partner of 8 1/2 years left me in March. I wasn't really expecting it although in hindsight I guess he couldn't deal with my depression and anxiety. I spoke to my doc when it initially happened and allowed myself a period of grief but now everyone seems to expect me to be over it and moving on and I can't. I cry constantly still. Work and everyday interactions tire me out so much I have no energy to cook or clean etc. I am losing friends as I cancel on them all the time as the thought of going out and pretending to have fun is so exhausting. Exercise is the only thing I enjoy but am probably moving into an obsessive addiction to that as I feel so terrible if I miss a day. I went on a holiday with a group of people and again the pretending to have fun tested my limits. I cried when alone every chance I got out of exhaustion. I'm not suicidal but I cried the other day when almost got hit on a pedestrian crossing accidentally and in that split second before the driver was able to stop I had a tremendous sense of relief at the thought that "this is it". I was devastated when they were able to stop. Ive had counselling, previously taken medication. I know all the tools. I'm not asking for tips or help as I don't think there is anything that can help. I guess I just keep pretending and hope one day it falls into my new reality.