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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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IDK What's wrong with me!
  • replies: 9

So I've been lashing out lately (well probably for quite a while now), like in sort of a blind rage for no reason - or at least the smallest little things will trigger it. I just can't seem to help myself. I just feel like I want people to think for ... View more

So I've been lashing out lately (well probably for quite a while now), like in sort of a blind rage for no reason - or at least the smallest little things will trigger it. I just can't seem to help myself. I just feel like I want people to think for themselves and stop bothering me. I just don't want to have to deal with people in general. I don't return phone calls or emails. I seem to self sabotage everything and push people away. How did this happen? I don't feel angry all time, mostly I just feel flat and heavy - I have been attributing it to laziness and lack of motivation. I used to know happiness and lightness once, but I remember this feeling of disconnection and flatness from way back when I was in primary school. My husband and partner for the last 20 years confronted me last night about my short temper and lack of patience... so I googled for the first time "Why am I so angry?". One of the first pages I came across said some things that rang true: Frustration, not being able to be happy, lashing out, being withdrawn and disconnected. Apparently, these are all symptoms of depression. I couldn't believe it, I'm not depressed, surely not! I'm optimistic and not a negative type of person, how can I be depressed? I have a girlfriend who suffers from depression and I have never been able to relate to what she goes through on a daily basis. How can I be depressed? I'd always thought that the "D" word was some peoples way to get attention. To think that I was depressed was not right, surely. I don't wan't to be the attention of anyone, I just want to be left alone to do my own thing. So I casually mentioned it all to my husband this morning, this "D" word. He was very sweet and gave me a cuddle. But then, when I dropped him off at work. He said to me I should be grateful that I have a son and a husband that loves me and a roof over my head. Things could be so much worse. I know this, but all it did was make me feel worse, much worse. I now feel guilty! I cried the whole way home and most of the day. So here I am... trying to find my way to the lightness.

Long_neck_19 my depression is ruining my relationship
  • replies: 3

my moods and depression is ruining my relationship. All I'm doing it pushing my partner further and further away because I don't know how to deal with it all- and he has had enough of trying to help me that I just cant talk to him about it anymore be... View more

my moods and depression is ruining my relationship. All I'm doing it pushing my partner further and further away because I don't know how to deal with it all- and he has had enough of trying to help me that I just cant talk to him about it anymore because I know even though he loves and cares for me he cant deal with my problems anymore. Because we cant talk about it without it turning into a fight I cant convince him that my problems stem from me constantly letting him down and feeling like a useless sack of shit because of letting him down. I know I should walk away and let him live his life before I ruin it anymore- but I just cant make myself as I know he is the only thing keeping me slightly sane and giving me something to love and want to be better for. Not quite sure where to go from here other then back to the doctor tomorrow and hope this time I can get the help I need and not quit as soon as I feel slightly better. I just hope he will still be there as its getting less and less likely he will keep outing up with my shit!

Durban Not fitting in.
  • replies: 1

The feeling I have today is nothing new. just existing. normal childhood, struggled in school (adhd) dropped out to persue my swimming career. It was the one thing I could do good! Swimming and lifesaving was my life and entered a career as a profess... View more

The feeling I have today is nothing new. just existing. normal childhood, struggled in school (adhd) dropped out to persue my swimming career. It was the one thing I could do good! Swimming and lifesaving was my life and entered a career as a professional beach life guard in early 20s. That's when it all started. Experienced a case of discrimination being the only female on the team and over a year of severe bullying. Stood up for myself but at the end all I ended up with was my confidence and belief in who I am shattered. This was the start of my "depression" and health issues. At the time I was lucky to meet my husband and marry and now have 2 kids. It has not been smooth sailing. Husband worked away at sea for 3 months at a time.(at home for 3) Many bumps along the way, always being the one to pick up the pieces. Loosing my dad to heart failure and dealing with it alone as my husband was at sea. Then 4 years ago I was in serious heart failure ... And my husband was away. I'm just tiered and couldn't even be gravely ill without worrying about everyone else. I survived my heart failure. I had to because I have tue beautiful boys who need me. Realising a relationship like the one we had could not continue, we immigrated to Australia to a shore based job in rural wa. We have been here almost 20 months and it has been hard. Although my husband now comes home every night, he is tiered and withdrawn and if I speak to him it is no more than 5 minutes a day. It's as if he is out on the ocean and not home at all! I have given up my home, where I had a job(swim teacher at my home pool) and everything I knew(good medical, which I now have to fly 2 hours to get to) and my family. Life was no peaches there but I had a life. Now in a small rural town, and nothing is working for me. I am not able to teach swimming cause my qualification is not recognized here. I have no filter when it comes articulating myself and I ruined the other love of my life which is working with children in scouts. I struggle to make friends, yet I would be your best friend. i just want to be me and be accepted. And loved.

HankScorpio Overloaded and snapped.
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm not really sure where to begin with this, I'll try to be brief. Mid twenties caucasian male. In the past 2 years I've dealt with: an abusive relationship, half of my closest friends walking out on me (I was a variable, not a cause), quitt... View more

Hi all, I'm not really sure where to begin with this, I'll try to be brief. Mid twenties caucasian male. In the past 2 years I've dealt with: an abusive relationship, half of my closest friends walking out on me (I was a variable, not a cause), quitting work, failed musical projects, car accident, sleeping in a kitchen, being poor & doing odd jobs for $$, best friend (my cat) being killed. I've fought my way through all that rubbish, set up a business, got really fit, started doing yoga, tried new music projects and moved away. Now I'm sitting at my new house, hating everything. I moved into this lonely, forsaken place and it just hit me all of a sudden how pointless my struggle was and made me question the validity of my goals. My reality has distorted to the point where I have no aspirations anymore, the idea of interacting with others is contemptuous, and all music sounds cacophonous and mocking to my ears. Every time I try to motivate myself a part of me pushes forward and systematically attacks my intentions and goals. I have had depression and anxiety since I was about 7-8 years old, seen psychologists before, I'm not on meds and I don't want to be. I have enough self destructive tendencies without furthering my drug dependance. My general distrust of others inhibits me from seeing a GP, so I thought I'd vent here and see if anyone can relate. Thank you for your time.

Macka90 Depression help
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone Let me start with my story. 2 weeks ago I started to have health anxiety due to something I thought was in my throat (nothing there) then it got worse from there, I started feeling horrible every day I could push through and do everything... View more

Hi everyone Let me start with my story. 2 weeks ago I started to have health anxiety due to something I thought was in my throat (nothing there) then it got worse from there, I started feeling horrible every day I could push through and do everything I needed to for myself and my 3 beautiful children, then within the last few days I couldn't do anything I mean anything I could barely walk, other then go to the toilet, I had to get my partner to take my kids to school, I had to have my sister stay with my me a few days cause all I wanted to do was sleep. Last night I ended up going to hospital cause I knew this wasn't me I thought there was something wrong with me they done chest X-ray and blood tests but it all came back normal so they dr referred me to mental health, which when I was talking to the dr I figured out I have depression, I have suffered depression before but nothing this bad, I adrupltly stopped taking my meds last time as I fell pregnant, they have put me on new meds the same as I was on before as they helped a lot last time, and am also on sleeping pills as I have trouble staying asleep which is making me tired during the day. I would love to hear back from people that have suffered depression like this before, and any tips on helping me recover, I have mental health psychologist come out to my house and see me and they are putting my dosage up within the week,. thanks and hope to her par back from people soon

brookey When the black dog keeps coming back
  • replies: 13

Feeling really, really down tonight. I think one of the hardest things about depression is that often it just keeps coming back whether you like it or not. Sometimes this makes me feel like a bit of a failure, but then the rational side of me knows t... View more

Feeling really, really down tonight. I think one of the hardest things about depression is that often it just keeps coming back whether you like it or not. Sometimes this makes me feel like a bit of a failure, but then the rational side of me knows that it's not something to be ashamed of. However, when depression keeps coming back I find it harder and harder to talk about it with the people I care. I worry that I will end up sounding like a broken record, and that everyone will be sick of me and my moods. So I'm really glad that I've found beyond blue - I feel like I can talk about my feelings without worrying about over-burdening someone. Another thing that's really hard about recurrent depression is that it's just so damn exhausting. I'm so tired of trying to keep a brave face and battling on even though on the inside I'm really struggling to keep it together. I hate that every night I just end up crying alone in my bed, after pretending like everything is ok all day. My life has some really great things going on in it, but for whatever reason I just can't enjoy it as I feel so hopeless and so alone, and the future from where I'm standing looks so bleak. At least the one constant in life is change, and I'm hoping that things can't stay this way forever. In the mean time, I guess it's just one day at a time...

elt Feeling Flat
  • replies: 2

Hi i'm stuggling with feeling flat. Flat as a tyre. I suffer with another mental illness which go's hand in hand with depression. Due to my medication I no longer have energy and lack motivation to do anything much at all. I used to have large groups... View more

Hi i'm stuggling with feeling flat. Flat as a tyre. I suffer with another mental illness which go's hand in hand with depression. Due to my medication I no longer have energy and lack motivation to do anything much at all. I used to have large groups of friends which I slowly lost due to my mental illness and depression interfering. Now days I just feel flat with no interest in much at all in life without many friends. Also this flat feeling quiet often leaves me feeling as if the things I have to say are uninteresting or that I don't have much conversation. My self esteem has taken a great knock when I lost friends. Also not working atm has had me find myself without purpose. Is there support groups I can join to build new friendships? What do I do about feeling flat? how can I improve myself esteem?

carlie1177 I'm suffering from depression and anxiety?
  • replies: 2

I think my anxiety and stress stems from emotional and verbal bullying. I took several tests online and am told I have depression / anxiety and possible paranoia. I also need therapy and counselling. That sucks. A few years ago I would've never thoug... View more

I think my anxiety and stress stems from emotional and verbal bullying. I took several tests online and am told I have depression / anxiety and possible paranoia. I also need therapy and counselling. That sucks. A few years ago I would've never thought I would be in this position, but I am. To be honest, even though I've been hurt a lot this past year, I feel it's kinda my fault too. I don't have many friends, and can never find (and keep) a best friend. Last time I found love I left it for career (or new school, should I say). I'm starting to think this is all my fault, and it really really sucks. Bottom line is, I'm lonely and I compensate my loneliness with imaginary scenes in my head, even though they'll never come true. Sometimes I compensate it with astrology readings, always searching for something positive, thus wasting incredible amounts of time. I need to stop. I wish my mind will shut down, like a Power Off button on the computer. I'm a mess. I'm a mess and I need help.

Sense13 I cannot cope anymore
  • replies: 4

I cant do this anymore, i have no motivation, depleated mentaly, always tired, my mind doesnt stop racing, I am diagnosed as depressed, i take 300mg of my medication a day, and somedays i go to 450mg, which numbs me down, but little less anxiuos, and... View more

I cant do this anymore, i have no motivation, depleated mentaly, always tired, my mind doesnt stop racing, I am diagnosed as depressed, i take 300mg of my medication a day, and somedays i go to 450mg, which numbs me down, but little less anxiuos, and feel clamer, I am stressed, it is impacting by work, no motovation. i am tired of being emotionlay abused, threatend, put down, degraded, emotional black mail using the kids and family, accusations of infidelity which I have NOT, and if she doest stop i dont know what I will do... I need help, I have contacted mens line and beyound blue in the past, i do have thoughts of ending, i am stripped of my self, I cannot leave, as money is not accessable, i am denied of access to cash, I do not have a gambling problem..I am alone, the kids are also impacted, my duaghter has her vce exams next week, my son hios uni exams, but the verbalising doesnt stop to me... and i crack it with the words and stuff she says and keep saying stop she doesnt, and then i get out of control and start screaming... i beg her stop to provoking me and inciting me, i just be home from work it I am provoked, and I fall into the out of control mode... then my body shuts down of all the stress and anxiety... she wont let me leave... I am threatened that if I access any amount of funds, I am threatend with abuse and lies to my workplace, takes it out my mother who is bi polar, smash my belongings, which she has already smashed all my fishing gear, and taken the boat engine key... i am treated like a crimminal, I have to justify every credit card transaction and produce receipts, if I dont and get abused verbaly, thats is the only thing I am allowed to have access to is a visa card, by debit card was cut up, my son gets the brunt of it... i am constantly harrassed at work with SMS's which are abusive... I dont know what to do.... anymore

Meeper No break
  • replies: 1

Hey bb friends, It's nearly 1 in the morning and I just sent myself into a stress frenzy. I had a meltdown at work this week and once I'd calmed down I realised I really wasn't happy with the 'support' from my supervisor. Everything started to look u... View more

Hey bb friends, It's nearly 1 in the morning and I just sent myself into a stress frenzy. I had a meltdown at work this week and once I'd calmed down I realised I really wasn't happy with the 'support' from my supervisor. Everything started to look up after that except I have to go and see a doctor and get their recommendation of what to do to move forward. I am partly relieved because I've been trying to get the help I need for ages but I'm also concerned. It's also horrible because my week was going so much better after that and I was doing so much better but I barely got to enjoy it; now I'm wracked with stress and panic because I'm still in a really bad position. No matter how much I do to get ahead it's barely a dent and it's so hard to keep persisting. I feel like I'm almost exhausted and no one will have my back. The hardest part is I have to be happy for the weekend for my boyfriend's birthday. I really don't know how to dig out of it all, there's just way too much. I get sad wondering if maybe I deserve it.