I've hurt the man I love with my depression

[Little_Cub]

Hi,

      Yet again going through depression..

Not sure what path to take any more.  

Yes meds is step 1 but through all this I have hurt my relationship with the most amazing man.  He is not sure where our future is now after another one of my melt downs.This makes it all so much harder to know I may not have him.

Why do I push him away when it gets hold of me. I hate it and myself right now because I may have lost the love of my life.

I just want to be well and happy. Have a great life with him.  Just overwhelmed with sadness, fear and guilt.

Will this pain ever end and find balance

[white knight]

Hi Little cub.  welcome to Beyond Blue forums.  love your avatar.

Re: "I just want to be well and happy. Have a great life with him.  "  Dont we all but the majority of the population do not find happiness. Even some couples you think are happy are unhappy within their marriage but never reveal it even to their spouse.

Time to be realistic within yourself. I suggest you visit your doctor to review your medication. The extremes you are visiting resulting in "meltdowns" means your medication isnt right IMO.

A carer takes a lot on. There is an article I wrote called "who cares for the carer" try googling it with beyond blue after the topic. It might help.

Your only chance I think is to tell him you are going to get your medication reviewed and hope he can be around to see the results. However some people havent got the tolerance to be a carer.

I wish you well and whatever the outcome remember ---we are here for you...its what we fellow sufferers do..

Take care  Tony WK

[Pixie15]

Hi Little Cub,

Welcome to the forums. I have a partner who suffers depression. It can be very hard to watch the person you love suffer especially if they are not prepared to even consider seeking help for whatever reason.

If meds have worked for you before that would be your first step as you have written. This guy may be prepared to accept the occasional meltdown if he knows there is hope for recovery. None of us is perfect. If he cannot accept you the way you are he probably is not the one for you anyway.

You can have a great life with or without him.

thanks,

Christine.

[Little_Cub]

Thank you  Christine and Tony,

Have new meds and hoping they are the right ones, if not try try again is the only way.. I know I need  to be happy with or without him. I know its not easy on him.

Will google the article.

Thanks for your kind words it helps a lot knowing you are out there

Julz

[Chris_B]

Hi Little Cub,

Great to see you've had some replies from Christine and Tony. Pushing a partner away because of depression or anxiety is a topic that gets discussed a lot here on the forums, both from the perspective of the partner and the person experiencing depression or anxiety.

Below are a couple of threads that are similar to where you're coming from - please have a read through and post in them if you like, it can be helpful to speak to others who have been through similar experiences. And let us know how you're going here when you're ready.

I pushed my husband away - by Kmac

I have pushed my husband away - by Montycarlo