Work stress resulting in depression and severe anxiety

[Clare_B]

Hi

I am new to posting but have been through a tough time in the last three months

I have lost all confidence, and feel completely incapable of holding down a job as a result of unrealistic deadlines, lack of support from my supervisor and having my work openly criticised in an open plan office. My emails were edited constantly and I was not allowed to send anything without the manager editing it. I was told my listening skills needed to improve and that I should never be late for meetings. If I was in back to back meetings, my young manager or supervisor would come into the meeting to tell me I was late.

I am over 50 and this is the first time I have been so sick and the first time with depression and anxiety. It has resulted in nearly three months off work, unpaid and numerous trips to specialists and doctors. When i briefly returned the head of the department didn't even ask how I was.

I requested another position as I said that work had made me sick and was offered another one with a supportive manager however my confidence is non existent and I am struggling to believe I am able to do any job.

This has resulted in sleepless nights, panic attacks, desperation and feelings of hopelessness.

I really want to work but am scared I wont be able to do the job. How do I get confidence back. I have just been signed off again, as i am so fragile every time I think about work I get into a panic.

Can anyone give me any advice.

[blondguy]

Hi ClareB

no worries at all and thanks for posting back 🙂

Your new director would be a huge benefit. You are very fortunate to have some solid support with a senior person

I think you are an incredibly strong person who has been pro-active enough to have all your bases covered as well as you have.

Really good to have you on the forums as well Clare

mt best

Paul

[jelly12]

Hi Clare B,

I have had depression and anxiety since 1995. I have been taking medications since then and when I have a relapse, I attend counselling with a Psychologist.

I had a very similar experience to yours, in 2012. I had been working in that job for 6 years and all was going well until then. A new manager commenced and she was a nightmare! Most staff members were scared of her - she micromanaged everyone, was vindictive and manipulative. My depression became much worse.

I began to attend counselling sessions again, and it was the Psychologist's opinion that the worsening depression and anxiety was directly related to the workplace.

I immediately began to seek alternative employment, in my area of expertise (allied health). Fortunately, I found a new job relatively quickly; however, it was less hours than previously, and I had to make some significant financial adjustments. I also picked up a hobby job, pet caring, which helped my mood and brought in a little bit of money.

After about 3 - 6 months, my hours at the new job increased, as there were more clients coming in. My finances started to level out and I started to feel a lot better. From time to time, the old job and nightmare manager would come to mind, and I was still angry.

Now, years later I am in a job with supportive, friendly colleagues. I still do the pet caring hobby job.

Clare, unfortunately there are lots of people like us who have experienced similar workplace situations. It is possible to get well and move on to new positive work environments.

I wish you all the best with your recovery.

[blondguy]

Hey Clare

I hope you can let us know about your first day..and how it went 🙂

my best

Paul

[Clare_B]

Hi Blondguy

Well first day went well and once I got into the building I didn't feel so bad. The person that I am sharing an office with was off so it was nice and quiet and I just sorted out paperwork etc.

It's amazing how we build things up in our minds and the panic sets in. In reality it wasn't too bad at all. We are moving to new offices next week, and I will have an office on my own so that will be much better.

Although I am aching all over from the accident I feel like today marked a really positive step forward.

I will continue to do everything to keep myself well and will just work three days a week until I feel fully confident again. It makes all the difference having a calm and understanding boss.

Thanks for your kind wishes

Kind Regards

Clare B

[Lolita]

Hi Clare B

I wanted to say that I can totally relate to how you are feeling with respect to struggling at work, and work stress negatively impacting your depression and anxiety. I am going through something similar at the moment and am building up the courage to speak to my boss about it this week.

It is a tough situation to be in, and I am so glad that your return to work went better than you expected. I think you are right - we really do build things up in our minds to be worse than they actually are. If only it weren't so difficult to break away from this kind of thinking.

I hope the rest of your week goes well!

[Clare_B]

Hi everyone

I was doing so well and all of a sudden relapsed. I wasn't expecting this to happen so soon. Just when I felt I was holding together well. It is really frightening at night when you just can't sleep and are desperate to get to work in the morning.

I was so determined to get to work on the first day (3/4 weeks ago) and someone drove into the back of my car at speed and i ended up in an ambulance. However i was so determined to go that i managed it even though i was covered in bruises. But unfortunately, into my fifth week it all went wrong.

It is really bad when you are afraid of your own thoughts. There is one positive thing i have been seeing a spiritual healer (i know it doesn't work for everyone) but it is making a great deal of difference to me. Any reassurance from anyone would be gratefully appreciated

Kind Regards Clare B

ting

[blondguy]

Hi Clare

Good to see you again. That car accident would have shaken up anyone even without an anxiety or depression problem. I do feel for you as I would have been beside myself.

Good on you for seeing someone that you find peace where counseling is concerned too! Venting to a spiritual healer or a psychologist do help us vent and cry too when things get too much...

Having a counselor (as you do) is a huge step forward. I screwed up as didnt have frequent appointments and I always stopped myself from crying as was too embarrassed. This went on for years until a therapist actually pressed all my uncomfortable buttons and had me crying like a baby......

Crying to a health carer can be so cleansing.

I am glad that you are okay after that idiot ran into the back of you

You are doing so well Clare 🙂

The more regular the visits the better the quality of healing

my kindest thoughts for you

Paulx

[Clare_B]

Dear Blondguy

thank you so much for understanding!, yesterday because of this awful condition i lost focus when making poppadoms and severely burnt three fingers, so went to bed with with that medicinal plant from the garden strapped to my hand. Remarkably i slept but driving and typing is really difficult just at the moment, thank you for your kindness and for understanding.

I feel like i am on self destruct mode. Thank you, thank you and and thank you again for your kindness. Apologies if spelling mistakes as two finger typing is difficult as the blisters are right on the ends. I pray they heal by tomorrow.

Kindest regards

Clare B

[blondguy]

No worries at all Clare

Omg.....burnt fingers.......ewwww............ouch mega painful....ow ow ow....

Typo's here are not relevant....you presence in itself is a bonus to what we are doing here 🙂

They will heal well Clare as you have this strong pro-active attitude happening which will always stand you in good stead where recovery (from anything) is concerned.

These forums are 24/7 as you know, so there still are a heap of kind people with similar issues that can be here for you 🙂

I really hope your fingers feel and get better soon

my kind thoughts

Paulx

[Abcde1245]

I understand how you feel. And I went through that at the age of 22. 1 year later and in different environment, I can still feel the effects of it and I don't know how to cope with it.