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Depression

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Notanurse Emotionless? What's wrong with me.
  • replies: 1

Lately I've been feeling more and more emotionless, lifeless, lonely, afraid. It's got to the point where I can't trust anyone in my life, I dont want anyone in my life, I just want my life to end or at the very least to be secluded from the world so... View more

Lately I've been feeling more and more emotionless, lifeless, lonely, afraid. It's got to the point where I can't trust anyone in my life, I dont want anyone in my life, I just want my life to end or at the very least to be secluded from the world so I can just do what I want to do alone. Lately I seem to be pushing everyone away, some who deserve it and some who dont. But I dont know any other way to be. When I was 10 I was diagnosed with bipolar, would love to know the doctor's reasoning behind that. I refused medication up until I was about 19, claiming medications would change me. And they did. I turned to medications about 5 years after hearing a voice that wasn't there, was a one time occurance and I believe it was largely due to my drink being spiked at a music festival a few days before I hear it. The medication made me unbearably sleepy, I was sleeping more than half the day for the first few weeks which wasn't too bad as I was unemployed at the time. But now, my body depends on it to get to sleep, if i dont have it I'll literally be awake for days but if I do have it I'll still sleep deeply and for at least 9 hours. I wasnt like that before. I had no issues with sleeping before. Part of me now just wants to stop the medication because all it's doing to me is putting me to sleep of a night. It's been the past few years that I've been feeling increasingly emotionless. The medication doesn't help it. I just dont know what to do with myself now. I dont trust my "family". I dont trust my doctor. I dont have a psychiatrist or psychologist anymore. I'm pushing my one friend away. I feel unbelievably terrified that my son will turn out like me, an emotionless angry hateful little person who wishes the world would disappear. I know I need help, theres 19 years worth of issues I need help with and I just dont know where to go or where to start. Whenever I have opened up to people they just tell me to grow up, show more respect to the people who've assaulted me, or they just aren't interested. The only thing I feel I can open up to now is being anonymous on a website, and my diary. I dont know how to talk to people anymore, I dont know how to be a normal functioning person because I'm just dead inside.

Jenny_B Newby and worried
  • replies: 8

Hello all. I have had depression for many years, well managed with one hospital admission. I will be going to hospital tomorrow for an assessment and it is overwhelming. Any support welcome.

Hello all. I have had depression for many years, well managed with one hospital admission. I will be going to hospital tomorrow for an assessment and it is overwhelming. Any support welcome.

Emma_B I thought sex addiction was a made-up thing for celebrities...
  • replies: 4

...but I woke up anxious in the early hours.. and have spent the day feeling lonely and depressed...and just looking for an online hookup just to feel pretty and loved...

...but I woke up anxious in the early hours.. and have spent the day feeling lonely and depressed...and just looking for an online hookup just to feel pretty and loved...

Alyel I feel so alone and losing my strength to fight...
  • replies: 3

I feel so so alone. I've had depression and anxiety ever since I was 11 but I could always get through the bad days because I had family and friends to support me. I am now 22 and its been 5 years since I left high school. Pretty much immediately I l... View more

I feel so so alone. I've had depression and anxiety ever since I was 11 but I could always get through the bad days because I had family and friends to support me. I am now 22 and its been 5 years since I left high school. Pretty much immediately I lost all of my friends through fights which mainly revolved around my depression and anxiety - me always bringing them down, or not going out with them due to anxiety or acting like the victim if I wanted to share my feelings. It took me a lot of time to kind of get over it, but it hurts to know they are all still friends and its as if I never existed. To make it worse, I've been at uni for 4 years and have not made one friend... I don't know what's wrong with me. Everyone around me in my year are great friends, inviting each other to parties etc. I have no one to talk to but my partner and I can't always rely on him. I am getting married next year in April and I'm not even excited, I'm depressed because I don't have any friends going, and the people that were so important in my life that I would've wanted there won't be because we aren't in each others lives anymore. I have tried to fix things and catch up but they refuse... Obviously something is wrong with me. I feel I will always experience this loneliness, always struggle to make and keep friends. My family is normally my everything. My sisters are normally my best friends but for some reason lately we have grown distant. The 3 of them hang out together, talk to each other at family events and complain about me. Tonight was a family thing, and I sat on the couch alone for 6 hours... without interaction. I eventually broke down and left. My nieces and nephews don't even say hi to me or want to hug or play with me - only with my other sisters. I think it is because I've been more honest lately, because they treat me like crap majority of the time and only talk to me when they need me, for example, to babysit so I guess I haven't stood for it lately. I'm always being bullied in the family, even by brother in laws. They say really horrible things, but whenever I am honest or stand up for myself I get yelled at or called mean. I can never win or be myself anymore. How can I live on when even my own family dislikes me. How can I make friends when my own family dislikes me. I would never harm myself, trust me. I couldn't do that to my Mum or partner. I just needed to talk. I am normally such a fighter, but I have lost all the fight within me. Idk what to do.

Ylime 35 next week & it isn’t any better
  • replies: 2

I have a place to live, a car to drive, a job, regular income. Isn’t that all the things I didn’t have before that was what I wanted to get my life back. Well I got all those things but I’m going through life just living. Doing what I have to to get ... View more

I have a place to live, a car to drive, a job, regular income. Isn’t that all the things I didn’t have before that was what I wanted to get my life back. Well I got all those things but I’m going through life just living. Doing what I have to to get through each day. I’ve stuck to what I was told to do and disassociated with old friends but I can feel my depression pulling me back under. I’m so lonely. I’m so alone. I’m lost in life still when I’m not at work. It’s all well and good to talk about meeting people, but it’s not that easy. This life isn’t the life I wanted. It isn’t fun living like this and feeling this way. I really do feel like I’ve tried my best. I’ve travelled, I’ve had a house, I’ve worked hard and got no where career wise. I’ve been in love and had my heart totally smashed to pieces. I’ve been a drug addict, a criminal, in rehab and in recovery. I can’t help but sometime feel like I’ve done a lot in my 35 years here and it wouldn’t be the worst thing if it ended here. I could stop having to go through every day just to go to bed only to get up again. Not loving it at all. If I could get a ticket out of here without anyone getting mad or upset, I would. I don’t know what the point of me living like this anymore it has been hard having depression for 7 years now I feel like I’ve achieved nothing in my life even though I have tried so hard to make things get better there is a point when being so lost and so alone isn’t possible to deal with anymore and I’m running out of strength to keep pretending that I’m all good like everyone thinks I am I hate this stupid illness & I wouldn’t wish it on anyone & I don’t think anyone can beat it because trust me I’ve tried

Mozzzzza Introducing myself
  • replies: 8

Hi there, just introducing myself my name is Morry and I’m 45. Have had depression and anxiety hanging around for as long as I can remember. I take a dive from time to time and the Low Low lasts for years. I’m managing my illness and working within m... View more

Hi there, just introducing myself my name is Morry and I’m 45. Have had depression and anxiety hanging around for as long as I can remember. I take a dive from time to time and the Low Low lasts for years. I’m managing my illness and working within my limits. I just wanted to join a place that may understand my queries and struggles. Hi again would love to hear from anyone . Cheers, Morry

illusionanddreams Don't know where to start
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I really need some counseling and guidance on what I should do. Any help is appreciated. Also, English is not my first language so please do not mind if things do not make sense at times. I came to Aus for my graduate studies. I have ... View more

Hello everyone, I really need some counseling and guidance on what I should do. Any help is appreciated. Also, English is not my first language so please do not mind if things do not make sense at times. I came to Aus for my graduate studies. I have had issues since I was a teenager. My first years in Australia were also very tough and put an emotional stress on me. I have a habit of keeping things inside me. No matter what I go through, I prefer not to share it. And I guess issues kept piling up and I feel the burden weighing me down. It took me 5 years to finish my 3 years course. I barely passed subjects. I skipped 95% of the class. Sleeping became my safe space. When I am asleep, I do not have to think about the real world. I can pass time so much easily. I do not have to deal with issues. So, I kept sleeping. I would call in sick at work to sleep. I was working full time but on my days off, I would cancel plans to sleep. And no matter how much I slept, I still yearned for sleep, I was just so tired all the time. I gained so much weight and I was working so much and not eating at all. A few months later, I was diagnosed with Hypothyriodism which I thought explained all my issues with sleep and depression. So I did not seek any medical advice about my depression thinking that my medications for thyriodism would cure everything. It has been a few years now and I am on medications for my thyroid issues and I do go for regular check ups but nowadays things have become unbearable. This whole week I called in sick at work and I slept until 2-3pm and did not eat until someone asked me to. I do not have thoughts of suicide and I really want to have a meaningful life but nothing interests me anymore.. nothing. I just wake up and watch tv all day to fill this void in my heart. I avoid talking to family/people, I avoid opportunities, Iavoid seeing people, I lie so often so that I can lay inside my room. And people may think I am lazy but laziness cannot be this severe. I do not know if I should see someone for this because I am an international student and have no medicare benefits and things might be expensive. I am thinking of quitting my job and do something that I am passionate about, but I really really need to address my issues. I thought I could control things like I always do but I don't think it will happen this time. I want to face my issues because I have stopped being the person that I am. Please help me on what you think I should do now. Thank you.

mara_d so deeply depressed
  • replies: 4

whoever reads this can sOMEONE PLS HELP:((( I'm drowning in so much sadness i don't even know what to do everything in my life is so bad my family troubles always become my own, I'm an only child so I'm so alone in everything that i have to go throug... View more

whoever reads this can sOMEONE PLS HELP:((( I'm drowning in so much sadness i don't even know what to do everything in my life is so bad my family troubles always become my own, I'm an only child so I'm so alone in everything that i have to go through, theres this uni course I've been trying to get into for 3 years and still unsuccessful, i hate my body and i have pcos as well so my hair is falling out i just wanna die, I'm so unmotivated for everything. what can i do to feel even remotely better

lujen Completely Exhausted
  • replies: 2

Hi all, Finally decided to post something after much apprehension. Oh well here we go I suppose. I am a university student who after an overall disappointing high school experience decided that university would be the point where everything would cha... View more

Hi all, Finally decided to post something after much apprehension. Oh well here we go I suppose. I am a university student who after an overall disappointing high school experience decided that university would be the point where everything would change for the better. I have spent the past year chasing perfection in my results in the hopes that I can transfer into my dream (and extremely competitive) degree next year. So that's worked out so far... at a cost. I have struggled with forming friendships in the past but deluded myself into thinking that it would work out in university. Turns out I was wrong. I feel like I have nothing in common with those around me or that I do not understand small talk as if it is some wavelength that I am not attuned with. For the first few months of university I tried my best to make friends but I felt like I was just an 'extra' who accompanied them and this made me feel like I was an idiot. So hence I decided to give up, and from then on I decided that all I needed to make me happy was top grades. And so I spent the next semester working every single day, chasing every single mark. By the end of the semester I was exhausted and struggling to keep it up, but regardless I pulled through. 2018 rolls around and I've changed accommodation (hoped to find new people). By now the isolation is making my journey more difficult and sudden health problems ruin my midsemester holiday, bringing me down further. My mantra of perfection is now a facade to me but I still know I have to work. I experienced frequent moodswings and felt my attention and memory were falling. Despite all of this, I still keep my grades up. And that brings us to now. I have one subject this semester (going for a year's worth as required for application). I feel physically weak and emotionally exhausted every day. I have to force myself to eat and some days I miss class and sleep until midday (I hate myself for doing this yet when I wake up in the morning the though does not cross my head). I despise the weather and my surroundings. I get no pleasure out of my hobbies as I can't focus. The worst feeling is the envy. I look at others my age around me and they appear to have friends and relationships. I feel like I am throwing my youth down the drain. My attention span is now abysmal. I study in tiny bursts at irregular intervals and hate how one last subject means so much. I've had enough of this year and everyone around me.

Infinity1199 The Impossible Task
  • replies: 2

Have you guys ever had one of those days where you feel stupid? like you forgot how to do the simplest things that you usually do every day? I don't know what's happened but I've felt like an idiot for weeks now. I'm a full time VCE student so my day... View more

Have you guys ever had one of those days where you feel stupid? like you forgot how to do the simplest things that you usually do every day? I don't know what's happened but I've felt like an idiot for weeks now. I'm a full time VCE student so my days are pretty stressful, but for weeks now I've just had trouble focusing in class. which is pretty scary considering I'm a massive nerd I also work part time and I'm honestly scared to go now because of all the mistakes I've made. I think my boss thinks I'm a total idiot because at the end of the shift she gave me this long lecture about how my head shouldn't be up in the clouds and that working for her should be my number one priority. honestly guys I'm a peaceful person but that would've been a FU lecture if I had the opportunity. Do you guys think you could help me out? maybe I'd feel better knowing I'm not the only one.