Hi BB.
l hope a separate thread for this topic is ok as it is a big topic and if anyone else would like or need to talk about their situation to and how they're handling things or anything at all please feel free.
ldk where to begin but l suppose this time it really starts from my divorce about 9yrs ago. l've never really had as far as l know the actually illness of depression, it's usually been from a life period itself. l did try meds yrs ago but didn't like them. And at this stage, it is again just life itself. After divorce l wanted to be alone and work through things 4yrs or so but later l started trying to feel like life again.l started getting back into my few hobbies, and walked or jogged and getting out and about.Later managed to buy this house to stay close to my daughter and l met gf l've been with last over 3yrs now.lt's been mostly beautiful earlier, a few bumps but they ironed out. Later some serious legal drama she'd had got worse and she had to go interstate up home for them and we've been apart mostly16mths since. Future us wise, not so sure right now as she still has ongoing problems needs another 6mths and also depression and anxiety herself.
Well these days l just work on the house and outside a bit which l enjoy usually, forced right now though like everything. Do 1 or 2 hobbies, forced, get out most days to somewhere that l do like, l like driving my car and just getting out and about, but tbh, l don't feel like doing anything else,usually in bed very early, just pc ,too much, use to love movies but don't feel like them or tv. Still don't have any friends here, 5yrs, although l can't be bothered with many people one or two would be nice. Haven't worked at all this yr yet but l'll probably be going back for a few mths soon. l have a simple at home business not great money but covers house repayments and living, save a little bit. Great hrs though when l do work and leaves me lots of time which l like.
Things is, later side of mid 50s now, gf and l looking pretty unlikely, the rest, this is just not where l pictured being and tbh, l just don't feel like doing anything, bed 24 7 would suit me right now no problem. About the only thing l do enjoy unforced is seeing my d or getting out for a drive about. l am depressed, l hate where l'm at in life and l wouldn't have believed it 10yrs ago, with zero interest or mojo for anything really, just feel sad.
rx
