Clear the road- I’m on my way

[white knight]

 

Recently I wrote two articles that at the time I didn’t know they would be a sequel. “The snowball effect” was about how energy in a forum like this can gather strength and accelerate in its positivity. The second one was “Do we expect a smooth road in life” depicts our basic expectations of a life free of any mental illness.

We all have a journey whether we know it or not, recognise it or not. That journey, a road of twists and turns “Y” intersections or multiple intersections- can be a fragile one. One major slip in our decision making or an unsuspecting thump from a runaway vehicle (depression truck) and we fall flat on our faces.

Let me digress here. Kathy Watt Australia’s gold medallist in cycling was asked after her race how she won it. Her reply- “my coach told me to get to the front and just as I start to feel comfortable…add another 10% effort…then just as I relax a little…add another 10%. These 10% added effort you don’t think is there but it is. No one could catch me.”

We often refer to situations with our struggles as if we are on the bottom of our challenges and often we are. But there are days, hours, that we feel better. During these times, we are at an intersection, to the left is “go back to bed” and to the right is “don’t go back to bed”. We all know how hard that is but that snowball of recovery even short term recovery like a few hours wont happen if we take the easier route and turn left! By turning right we might- take the garbage out and during that short time you might realise how warm and inviting the sun is, meet the mail delivery person, see a daisy flower in bloom, realise your dog is staring at you for a walk lead in mouth…so that snowball has commenced all because you turned right..

As that snowball gathers momentum with each right turn your journey is no longer a plodding walk but turns into a brisk walk. You begin to get the feeling you are beating the black dog. If and when you think you are at this point then your choices are so important.

There is a fighter inside us so much so some of us have never seen it. If those that think they haven't got a fighter inside them then what would you do if a dog bit you and held on? You'd find the fighter

So that choice in your journey comes when you approach that new intersection. Left is "back 3 spaces" and right is "I'm going to fight like hell". Turn right on recovery road and do your best..then keep adding 10%. The black dog wont catch you!...

Tony WK

[JessF]

Hello Tony, this is great, I was reading somewhere recently that the best time to do exercise is when you feel that you are too tired and can't do it.  It's very counter intuitive, but the snowball effect is very real.  I tried this last weekend, feeling a bit flat and sleepy and considering not going out for my regular walk, but instead this advice came to mind and I pushed myself to do it.  Not only did I enjoy my walk, but I felt a lot better for the rest of the day.

[Elizabeth CP]

I think you have made some good points Tony & Jess. The problem is that the choice isn't always clear cut. I have a tendency of pushing myself until I crash. Fatigue is a huge trigger for my depression and I have injured myself several times trying to push myself to go faster to get things done. Sometimes the left turn to stay in bed is the right choice in order to rest & recover but if staying in bed just avoids facing things & keeps you stuck in depression then the right choice is getting out of bed. Possibly the answer is thinking of the consequences. Is staying in bed going to aid recovery or just stop you experiencing life.

[white knight]

Hi

I love and invite opinions. Your reply Elizabeth is exactly what I like discussing. Of course sometimes returning to bed is the better answer. Depends on the situation eg hours of sleep prior, medication effects or just that darn black dog. Being positive isn't all about taking the right fork in the road, its about the plugging away, chipping away at the issues as they come about and giving your all plus that 10%. If that is accomplished than there will be at least one time in a fortnight that you'll rise out of bed when you normally wouldn't and that is progress. One small step of progress is worth the while.

Life is best travelled when in balance. Balance is the middle road. Achieving balance means it will be highly unlikely to get injured doing exercise, where just pushing yourself a little every time you do a session is enough. Whereas many of us throw ourselves into exercise without the view its a long term even permanent change of lifestyle, to get fit and to do that we need to do it regular and slow addition of more exercise as time goes on. Everything we do should be in balance and in reason. Being fatigued through exercise means doing too much.

" Is staying in bed going to aid recovery or just stop you experiencing life." I suppose my original post was saying that whatever we do in life as a challenge to improve our life, we can give it our all and add 10% effort ...but only when you can without risk of hurting yourself more. And in particular when you are on the way up the depressive cycle.

Last year my Dr told me my both knees have osteo arthritis. Asked what I can do to help them along avoiding replacements he said- "yes, one thing, exercising" July last year my wife and I joined the gym. My aim- to get to 20 minute son the treadmill (its a long period of time for me because my mind wanders) and 30 minutes on machines/weighs that will improve my knees. Every session I added 10%. Now? I weigh 10kg less, my knee muscles are larger, no pain and no bone clicking.

I'm lucky, I can write my own exercise program and not push until I crash. Some need a personal trainer or exercise plan to stop them over doing it. As long as we do a little bit more each time- great!

[Elizabeth CP]

I think the key is 'add 10% ' If we start off doing something we know is achievable & gradually increase we get the benefit of increasing confidence ads we are always working at achieving our goals for the day but by gradually increasing we get better without the negative effects of failing. While recovering from a broken ankle I would end up doing too much & then be unable to do much for days which really slowed my progress.  After discussion with my physio I started walking daily but rather than push myself I deliberately walked a short distance I knew I could manage. Each day I added some distance until I reached a level which challenged me but was still doable. I will increase the distance again but at the moment I'm struggling with other challenges so it is better to stick to the amount I'm doing until I'm in a better space where I can improve again. You example with the gym illustrates the point perfectly. I am still learning to get the right balance. I tend to be all or nothing and use labels on myself  like 'lazy' when I'm not doing 'enough' or 'stupid' when I push too hard and fall in a heap.  

[white knight]

Hi Elizabeth

Absolutely word for word what I feel also. We are up and down people, good day not so good day. The treadmill is for me the best most accurate example of my inability to focus. Some days 30 minutes as my relaxed mind goes into the "zone" of contentment. Other days 4 minutes and I stop it and get on other machines. Funny that 20 minute son other machines and sometimes I can return to the treadmill ok.

Yep, an extra 10% when we are feeling good, not pushing ourselves for an extra 10% when we are mentally struggling.

I feel this thread has given me progress.  Thanks for your comments Elizabeth and others.

Tony WK

[JessF]

It's hard to know your limits, isn't it?  What is gentle stretching of your boundaries, and what is pushing yourself too hard, too far?  I've reflected on this after re-reading this, and I think for me I can tell the difference by listening to my inner voice.  The stretching of the boundaries for me is accompanied by a voice that is gentle and encouraging, saying 'well you may be tired, but why not go for the walk? It usually makes you feel less tired after'. The pushing myself too far is a different voice altogether, judging, harsh, and full of self put downs, eg 'you have failed if you don't do this. What's wrong with you?'  

The radar won't always be right in distinguishing those two voices, but thinking back I'm fairly sure that when I hear the harsh, judging voice, that's the time to take a deep breath and have a rest rather than listening to it.

[white knight]

Hi JessF

Love your self assessment. I'll use that.

Tony WK

[white knight]

Motivation- do you have plans this holiday period to think about 2021?

Do you want to share them?

TonyWK

[white knight]

Hi all,

I've resurrected this thread as a motivational project. Motivation is so elusive while in a depressive cycle and even when we come out of it, motivation seems never to be at the same level as those that have no mental health issues. It's isnt unlike the little red steam locomotive battling to compete with the big boys, trying as hard as he can to tow those carriages but never in the same league.

So what is the answer? For a long time now, I've embraced tokenism as my base motivator. This means not seeking ultimate cures, or medications or achievements that normal people reach and so on. Some examples-

With depression people around me dont understand the disorder. Hence if someone does say "I hope you feel better tomorrow" then that remark I embrace far more than commonly done. Achieving, lowering my expectations of my endurance took many years to do, I found that as I entered my 60's I could relax more, take afternoon naps without guilt even if it was for 30 minutes I'd self praise that I was indeed relaxing. 

So with depression, in summary it isnt the tasks that we dont achieve that we should focus on but the self elevation of our achievements that is more important. This philosophy has immediate benefits if you apply it to all your tasks you do, it, in time, can turn your thinking around because yes, it is great to attend motivation lectures, read inspiring books by athletes and so on but the major changes towards positive direction is by ourselves. Just keep going with it, it is a far better way to live even with the black dog nipping at out heels.

What do you think? Do you think it is possible to implement any motivation while depressed ? Can you use tokenism to shine lights on small achievements?

TonyWK