Tears

[Neil_1]

Dear all (or dear anyone who reads this ... no bugga it, dear all ... why should I discriminate against anyone);

This is a simple post.

I want so much to cry.  I need to cry.  But I cannot cry.

Could anyone tell me, "Why can't I cry?"

Neil

[guest75]

I feel for you Neil

Although recently i had the opposite issue, i would start crying for no reason at inappropriate times - like driving home from work

Im not sure of anyway to make yourself cry, maybe some other members can offer more advice than me

[Mares73]

 Feel for you Neil, i just dont have the right words to say. but i wanted to show you what id written for you & i will just say you Did you know that in my last thread "Crisis Point", I thanked people for their support and then I wrote a message just for you-

Neil-for you- I appreciate all the support & lovely people on BB. But we kinda get each other & I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you with all your going through as well. Your a very special person & I'm lucky to have you as a friend and such a huge support. I can't explain it...it just means a lot to me. You take care & I'm sorry I worried you, oh it's so sad I have to smile but I did think to myself if something happened to me, who would tell Neil!! Crazy thoughts. I'm here for you too ok. Take care, Lve Maresy

I'm not in a place to offer advice but I wanted you to see what I'd posted about you last night. You are so special  I think most of us have admiration for you & the ways you continue to get through. I know there's probably lots going on behind the scenes so this is just to say your in my heart & thoughts. I'm with you in spirit. Maresy

[Jo3]

Neil my friend

You know, I love it when I see a reply from you.  I quickly read what you write and you always know what to say to people and at times I laugh at the funny things you say. I always look forward to seeing your replies.

 I'm sorry, I am lost for words tonight, but I reckon the way to make you cry is to get us altogether and have a huge crying/hugging session.  Wow imagine that, if we met up all of us - we would definitely need heaps of boxes of tissues.

Neil, I wish I could turn the tap on for you so you could just sit and cry as much as you want.  I guess I am the opposite to you and just cry all the time for sometimes silly things.

Just want to say that I am thinking of you and hope that you can let out some of your emotions.

Your friend

Jo

[joey]

I don't know. I am the kind of person who laughs at a funeral and cries about spilt milk. It's like all the wrong emotions come at the wrong times. People must think I cry so easily but then when domes passes away I am making a joke. It's not that I am not sad - I think I am so overwhelmed with emotion it get's all mixed up!

I don't really have much advice though. Although mindfulness of emotions can help. Just trying to look at the emotion and what it feels like even if not crying.

Joey

[Guest_3712]

Hi Neil,

Glad you posted after all.

Given you're a movie buff, I take it you've been watching some sad movies or playing some fave songs. I know this is what I usually do when I am feeling particularly low.Usually the tears come but lately not so much

.I'm betting your head if full of thoughts about your family, friends and probably our friends on this site- right? Do you ever turn off?

You have to focus on you . Your feelings, your issues. your plans, YOU.

I have found if I empty my mind of everything and everyone except me and my problems, that's enough to bring on a release. Of course it's not that simple as our problems are multi - layered and involve other people.

But constantly worrying about the entire world all the time wasn't leaving any room in my head for me.

What do you think? A little kernel of truth here ??

Hope you get some peace/ release soon= you deserve it

be kind to yourself

Stressless

[geoff]

dear Neil, my dear mate, sometimes we cry when we don't want to or aren't allowed to, and this especially means that if I sit here at my laptop and say to myself ' I want to cry to release my emotions', then it won't happened, it happens when we least expect it, and the more you try and force it then it won't happen.

I can console someone who is crying and pleading for help, then I can begin to cry with them.

It's no different than a guy who is trying like hell to become aroused, and he can try anything while his partner is twiddling their thumbs, our brain can't work like this, I googled this but you may have already done so 'how to make someone cry who can't cry', there maybe some tips there to help you.

I'm sorry you can everything else help people, assist them so I hope that you can learn on how to cry, you really deserve this. Geoff.

[Mares73]

My special friend-Neil I got up today & thought of you & wondered how you are today?  Did you read my msg above where I included a post I'd written just for you? The post came from my "Crisis Point" thread but if you read above I've included it. As Geoff (who is so insightful & wise) mentions-you are a significant core member of this forum-always trying to help others & bring a small smile to their day. I didn't want to intrude especially on a public forum but I have a feeling there is more going on behind the scenes that you are able to/or want to discuss. I know that's tough. I wish so much we could talk on the ph or email as I know some of the major events in your life re your Dad & the tragedy of losing your brother. But I also sense there is so so much more that you have been carrying around without any release & thus at sum point ie now for example-your mind & emotions are sending alert signs that you can't take anymore in. Do you see a psychologist? What are they like? I'm going to need to see one soon & a new pysch. But do you have good professional support? I know home has it's challenges as well. Do you feel up to at some point soon just grabbing some paper, not think too much @ just write down all the things & fears that you feel? And be honest in it. No one else has to see it. You may take up some points you have written but it's not a test-it's an excercise in clearing your mind a little of all that you are holding onto & hiding below the top surface. Just an idea. You have many friends here concerned & thinking about you. I hope you know that speaking for myself, you are an inspiration, some days it's you who gets me thru, you are so genuine, caring& extremely clever & courageous. But no, I realise you don't feel like that. That's a problem for me in a big way also & I'm sure any others-we aw sensitive, caring, can help others etc but when it comes to ourselves we feel doubt, fear, anxiety, insecurity @ hopelessness. Amazing we know what to say but can't seem to do it. Anyway you are like a ray of hope in my days & I even told the acute team about the great people who are currently my only support-& mentioned you, Geogf, Jo, GA, Stressless @ others but it was you I told them who was my main support lately-amazing, close friend over the Internet. So I know how hard it is, I've never seen an acute team until yesterday & they couldn't believe my husband had left me alone for 2 wks in this state. They are trying to reach him but he is avoiding them. And he rang me angry last nite saying his job was priority & if I want to hurt myself I can still do it if he is here. He was so arrogant & said it's my fault I'm in this state because he never agreed with the stimulant my pysch prescribed & he thinks if I do what he says I'll be better. Oh-& I started that medic 3wks ago so if it was going to cause a dramatic reaction it would have started when I first commenced. And irony is my husband said before he left that I'd have to find a therapist etc as acute teams only deal with severe cases & no way would they visite. What does that tell him. Gosh sorry Neil this is about you...yes as I was saying I need to talk to you everyday & I would truly do anything to take your pain away. You are one of the most precious people I know so pls try feel that in ur heart. And today what are you doing. Another day waiting for acute team for me-I'm kinda embarrassed or sumth. I've never been in this desperate position before. But I'll keep track throughout the day & send hope, love & peace to you. X Maresy

[Neil_1]

Thanx everyone so much for your wonderful replies,  and as always it amazes me of the generosity of people who are already doing it tough themselves to come to the fore and thrust out their support and care to another sick traveller. 

 Beyond Blue – you are an amazing and beautiful place (and website).  And ditto to the Beyond Blue members.  

And Maresy, I so appreciate your comments … yes, I’ve read them and for you to provide those words to me in your current awful situation, wow, they mean so much to me.

[Jo3]

Hi Neil

I'm sorry I haven't been on here to help you and it's wrong of me.  I've been feeling very flat lately and stressing now with work and less money.

Neil, how are things today.  You have helped me so much lately and I feel so guilty for not being there for you.

When are you seeing your psych?

I'm a bit lost for words tonight, but i just want to say that i am thinking of you and hope things improve for you

Jo