Hi, I'm a 20F and struggling a lot at the moment. I only have 1 friend who lives in another city but has mental issues of her own, I don't feel close to her rlly at all anymore and I feel like whenever we talk its just negative and makes me feel worse, there is no escape. Its hard to be living like this at 20 when everyone is going out and living their best life, I can't help but just be depressed. I'm rlly socially awkward and I feel like it is just getting worse bc i don't know how normal 20 yr olds should act. I've developed some weird habits too. I've become obsessed with this celebrity to the point I'm refreshing my feed every hr to see if they've posted. It's not that I want to date them but I'm just so lonely I think it comforts me to see them happy and living a life. Right now I work at a dead end job and go to uni, socializing seems so easy for everyone and when I go to uni everyone is in their groups laughing and I just feel so alone. How can it already be so hard when I'm only 20. I'm not sure how to be happy and be myself when I'm so anxious about everything, I just can't let loose. My heart beats so fast and words come out so badly that ppl just stare at me weirdly, it is getting more and more worse as time goes on. My confidence has never been worse. I also feel sad knowing I'm turning 21 next year and probably no one will be there to celebrate with me. It looks so easy for everyone else. I feel very lost.
