Sorry

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

How are you? Sorry for coming here again.

I need to talk, I was going okay this morning.

I should be happy, as I got a job & getting paid, but my job, the management doesn't really do anything. We've had no good changes, just staff movements.

It's because of money, we don't have the money to do stuff. I don't know how other places do it.

Getting angry, & have admitted it, which is good. And the type of people they are, they're not proactive people, so they're never going to do it.

But my brain still doesn't get that & I get upset.

I wish I was like the other staff there & who don't give a s*** & just want to be paid.

I don't even have proof that our management is abit hopeless, just my gut feeling. It doesn't help, that they act nice, so it makes me feel worse, they're unproductive, but they're nice. 

Having a cry. Am looking for another job, hopefully somewhere where they give a s*** & actually want to work & do some progress & change & evolution 

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

I'm down & sad & couldn't understand my anger, but realised my management has stuffed me around, didn't replace one of our team members, than gave me all their work, brought someone in the job but made it a librarian job.

Than made it into a library technician job, when I guess it should have been a library officer

I've been anxious than angry then depressed & I wonder why

Thanks a job I really did like, that I couldn't do as I was acting, I can't do anymore.

The people are nice though, they say the right words, but their actions are not.

And now, I'm grateful for job, but depressed, when I realize its a mean place, full of mean people & I'm stuck there. 

[Sophie_M]

Hello JacintaMarie, 

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with the community - no need to apologise, you are more than welcome here. 

This must all feel so confusing for you... it sounds like your heart wants to be a part of something more meaningful and connected? It can be really overwhelming and leave us feeling flat when we aren't working in alignment with what we really desire. Of course, this is hard when we need to pay the bills though, isn't it? 

It seems like your emotions are trying to tell you something here. Can you become curious about what this anger is trying to ask you to hear? And from that place, what actions can you take towards making the changes you need to in order to feel good? What is within your control? 

It's okay to feel angry and hurt right now, even if people are nice. Taking care of yourself (and also asking for support) will go a long way to help you manage these bigger feelings. Do you have anyone you can turn to outside of work? And what are you doing for yourself to ensure your passions are being met when you aren't working?

A lot of questions - I know! But I think if we start with answering them, we will have a bit more clarity to work with and hopefully we can create a plan moving forward that helps you to feel excited and empowered again!! 

Looking forward to your reply. xx

Warm regards, 
Sophie M. 

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Sophie M

Thanks, I'm not sure, I think, stupid of me, I thought the library could improve more, have some more online resources & be something . 

Yesterday, I showed a website that was really good, & said my hope was the library to be cutting edge, but I got told the library already was.

So, I've been wrong - I didn't think it was. Plus, your kind, some people there, I can't tell ideas - they just "laugh" at them & think I'm crazy & a nut case 

Most people there, don't care, I don't have anyone I can talk too. I'm probably boring, as I keep on thinking about new ideas.

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Sophie, I do writing & doing a paint by numbers & found out on Thursday,  I found out from someone that the library is cutting edge - so there's no need to make it better.

I keep on talking & getting people angry. 

People outside of work, just tell me I'm basically wrong, I am wrong - I thought our management weren't doing anything, but it turns out there isn't really anything to change.

Nit sure what I'm anger is about, maybe to do something more. But not work in law library - there's no need for change, or perhaps my ideas are just way ahead of what human beings can comprehend. It is hard when to deal with people who have closed minds & not open - there's alot of people there like that.

[Sophie_M]

Hello JacintaMarie, 

It sounds like you have big and bountiful ideas, but they aren't being celebrated like they could be. You are right, it can be really tough being around people who aren't open to new ways of doing and being. It seems rather upsetting for you to be in this position, especially with people being unsupportive... I am very much getting the sense that working on a project outside of work that is just for you and your creative expression could help so much here. 

Do you have any ideas? ✨😍

Warm regards, 
Sophie M. 

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Sophie

I do writing - nearly finished a story & I'm doing a jigsaw & a paint by numbers

And I catch up with people

The worst is that, I feel stupid for believing in them, that I I thought they would achieve stuff & I've called them useless & even the manager, as well, when all it is they're just not good at change

Or when their is a actual problem to fix, they just leave it