Someone please help me :)

[akidwhoneedshelp]

Hi all,

Im 15 years old, sounds too young to be dealing with serious problems right? welp. I dunno. I have been diagnosed depression since about July 2018 and i was prescribed an SSRI. This was after I got into smoking pot at 14/15. I never really smoked that much and it was never a major problem but thats a point where i can say it started to go downhill a little faster than it had been for the 3/4 years prior to that. (even though i was so young i was always secretly upset, on the outside i was funn, crazy silly, crude and kind all at the same time. Anyway, i stopped smoking after being prescribed medication. In about april of 2019 i smoked for the first time in about 12 months. This didnt really affect me; i was still taking my medication but i really enjoyed myself. fast forward a month from then and my medication's dosage is increased. This seems to help for a bit. But i was having anxiety attacks everyday. Until about 4 weeks ago. I smoked marijuana again. Great time, however the next day was dreadful. It was an important day and i barely got through it. I smoked again a week later (this is during school holidays). Once again, no problem. skip two more weeks, my feelings are plummeting. Was this because of the pot? I cant say i know. God there is so much more i want to type. ok im getting off track but i feel i just need to get this all down: My two closest mates have also been dealing with depression since the start of 2019. Except the difference between them and me was that they were smoking pot every night for about 4 months. They never wanted to try and get me on it but it was sad seeing them deteriorate every day. Theyre situations are so much worse than mine. One's dad is dead, his oldest brother is a psycopath who ruined his family's lives before he grew up, his other oldest brother is a big time drug dealer (providing him with easy drugs).  I just longed the feeling of numbness. i want to smoke so badly, i want to do all these drugs so badly because i dont see a future for myself. I have a dream but no motivation to follow it. there is so much more about me contributing to my total disatisfaction with life right now but 2500 characters can only explain so much.

Thanks

[monkey_magic]

Hi akidwhoneedshelp,

Welcome to the Beyond blue forums.

I just want to point out that you thought it was sad to see your friends who smoke pot everyday deteriorate 😢.

And then you say I want to do these drugs so badly because I dont see a future for myself.

If you keep doing these drugs then sadly you will deteriorate like your friends and the future will be bleak. The more you do drugs the harder it is to stop and walls start closing in on you and it will be difficult to get clean.

While on the drugs you feel great. It's coming down from them that's not so great.

Is there anything you can do instead of the drugs like exercise, art, music? Pick up a new hobby.

Do your parents know about your drug taking?

I would highly recommend you speak to a councillor to help support you with this. And drug councillor. They will give you knowledge about how bad it can really get and you've seen it for yourself through your friends. Do u really want to end up like that? They/ you could end up much worse as well.

15 is so young to be doing this.

Please find some support and do your absolute best to not deteriorate but to live a full and happy life. There is so much more out there for you to experience. A job, a car, travel, girlfriends and so on.

Thanks for writing in 😆