Sleepless night with tears

[Pinkmum]

I'm 35 weeks pregnant with an older boy of two. He is sick at home with dad and I'm at my parents crying behind the closed door. I suffered major depression m from the very beginning of this pregnancy and is still everywhere by this day. I could bearly have private time, even half an hour each day with hubby to share how I feel. Only tears can express my drowning sadness. Only people who have been through this understand how I feel. I hope.

[Just Sara]

Good morning Pink;

I'm so very proud of you sweetie; I hear you loud and clear. You're right, no labour is easy, but you got through it and have Mia now.

I've given up trying to get people to understand about mental health responses. I figure, if they haven't experienced it, no point busting my bum trying to make them 'get it'. Your nurse?? Frankly, your instinct to let fly with a left hook would've been my response too..lol Wonder if she's gone thru labour and depression at the same time?

Mia does sound like a fighter lovely...just like her mum. You have the Warrior Woman in you...I can tell. The fact she's latching onto a nipple is a great sign, she's wanting to keep going and do what it takes to get there. Infant instinct is powerful indeed...

Your post has somewhat triggered some old stuff for me surrounding my son's birth, and how I normalised what happened. It wasn't normal...it was anything but...

The thing is, I'm a PTSD veteran..and coping with memories has become easier because I chose to fight each day to get out of bed and face my fears. My emotions aren't experiences, they're just feelings and can't hurt me. I've turned them into tools of recovery to alert me to how I've approached life in the past, and how I could change those beliefs to make my life better. It challenges me sometimes daily, but had I not learned to overcome, I wouldn't be here posting to you and others with my experiential wisdom.

Hope is eternal Pink...

Sending you love and hope...Sara xo

[Pinkmum]

Hi everyone thank you all for the support. Mia finally got out of special care today and came home with me. I'm thrilled to have her by my side. The not so routine feeding has turned the biological clock upside down and lead to two sleepless nights in a row. I will ask for med tomorrow at GP because I need to be strong physically to cope better. Love you all.

[blondguy]

Hi Pink 🙂

Really appreciate you posting back to us. To hear that you are thrilled to have Mia by your side has made my day

You are a legend! We are so happy for you. I know its only a forum but the family you have here is very real.

Mia would know she is with you.....So proud of you Pink

Mega Hugs

Paul x

[Starwolf]

Hi PinkMum,

So good to know you are both back home ! I

[Starwolf]

Aaaargh ! Sorry, this site is doing strange things again and posted my reply in mid-sentence !

I hope you will soon both fall into a routine that will allow you to rest and recover...it's been a rough and eventful journey. Fingers crossed your family is rallying around you to help.

How is your boy and what does he think about his new role ?

Take care, Pink. You deserve all the TLC you can get.

[Just Sara]

Welcome back Pink!

It's lovely to hear you're both doing well and the bonding process has begun. You have heaps of support here from caring people who I hope have been a positive influence for you since early Nov.

Please know how strong and courageous you are to have come this far with all you've gone thru. I'm proud as punch of you!

What also seems wonderful, is how you're confronting one issue at a time. You've identified lack of sleep as important, and decided what's necessary to treat that problem. That's all it takes to get thru the day...one step at a time.

Routines will fall into place as time goes on and you'll have some relief there I'm sure.

Please let us know how your little family is getting on, we'd love to hear.

So all the best Pink...many warm thoughts and hugs...

Sara xoxo

[Pinkmum]

Hi guys,

Just an update on the family. Mia was a bit hot in the past few days and because she was a premie, she was kept in hospital for couple of days and she is doing fine now.

I feel so exhausted physically and mentally. Need a bit of down time. Hope this will pass.

Love you all.

[blondguy]

Hi Pink

Thanks for the update 🙂

Mia is like her mum....strong!

The exhaustion both mentally and physically will pass....

Please be gentle to yourself Pink.....we are here for you

How is your son going? I am hoping he is over his fever

(Hugs)

Paul

[Starwolf]

Hey Pink...good to read from you. And good to know Mia was in good hands to help her cope with the heat wave.

I hope you can get well-deserved support for yourself. Being a new Mum with a toddler is hard work at the best of time. I am impressed by your courage and resilience. I hope you will not hesitate to reach out for help if it all becomes too much... preferably before it does.

Kindest thoughts.

[Pinkmum]

Dear all, thank you all for your support. It's getting cooler this week so kids are settled. Max is doing well amd he is absolutely adorable at this age. And he can't talk back yet. Maybe its baby blue, which I hope this is all it is. I often feel a lot better crying than holding back. Writing here gives me high comfort. Funny enough my husband is the least supportive person out of all. We do not argue or fight. It's just being too long to care. The thoughts of life without him pops in and out of my mind. Wish you all sweet dreams.