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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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LostSeraph93 I should feel happy and grateful for what I have but I don't....
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I'm new to the forums even though I've been a frequent visitor to the BeyondBlue site, having used the online chat service numerous times. A bit of background. I'm 23 years of age, I'm a recent graduate from university and I'm currently worki... View more

Hi all, I'm new to the forums even though I've been a frequent visitor to the BeyondBlue site, having used the online chat service numerous times. A bit of background. I'm 23 years of age, I'm a recent graduate from university and I'm currently working full-time. While I've lived much of my life in Sydney. I recently moved back in with the family who are in Sydney after spending 6 months Canberra. It's fair to say that I have a stable and safe home environment Recently I've been suffering from poor mental health, which surfaced during my time in Canberra, during which I lived by myself. The main problem I have now is that I am unable to express any sense of gratitude or thankfulness for what I have as I focus on the have not's, especially when compared with other people. As a result, my current mood is that I'm quite negative, pessimistic and moody and all too often these days I get a serious case of the blues for no apparent reason. I'll just wake up and feel bummed out or resentful and unhappy about the same old issues. I feel that this is preventing me from living the life I want to have. My accomplishments now all feel very hollow to me. I graduated within 5 years from law school with a double degree, a D average in my Politics/Social Science studies, completed an extra-curricular program as part of my university degree (the university equivalent of the Duke of Edinburgh program in high schools) and secured a competitive graduate job in my second last semester, among other things but none of them make me feel proud of who I am anymore. Also I started giving blood donations recently and 2 wks ago I gave plasma and even though I should feel good about the charitable contribution I've made and will continue to make (I intend on being a regular blood donor) I don't....I just dismiss it as "just another thing that I do." I suppose I'd like to understand better why I'm unable to draw hope and inspiration from my previous accomplishments and what I currently have. Why do I incessantly focus only on what I don't have? It's obvious I don't value or cherish what I have and have done enough. I look back on my recent past through the lens of failure, not success (ie. I feel that I have this sense that I'm now scrambling to make up for lost time) But the thins I really want most right now are: 1) A healthy social life 2) Expanded Social Networks 3) A dating life/relationship experience. Thanks all for reading this ramble of a post.

New_in_AU Finally accepting and admitting I have BPD, could use a little support
  • replies: 1

I’ve had multiple Psychiatrists diagnose me with PTSD and BPD. I always assumed the BPD diagnosis wasn't accurate but only characteristics of my PTSD since I do not have fear of abandonment issues. But I am now starting to realize I have a pretty str... View more

I’ve had multiple Psychiatrists diagnose me with PTSD and BPD. I always assumed the BPD diagnosis wasn't accurate but only characteristics of my PTSD since I do not have fear of abandonment issues. But I am now starting to realize I have a pretty strong un-treated case of BPD and my extreme fear of commitment could be a paradoxical symptom of abandonment fear. I never could get myself to that point because I truly would rather be alone. But I have gone through some major life changes and it is clear to me now I have BPD and I can’t live like this anymore. I have to get treatment. I'll start with this post and hopefully I'll get some support and direction. After 10 solid years of severe commitment issues that wouldn't let me get close to anyone, I finally met a guy who was determined I was the love of his life and wasn’t going to get scared off easily. He treated like a goddess and never stopped looking at me with that love, no matter how irrational my mood which broke down my walls. It really helped he lived as far as you could possibly live from me on this planet. Fast forward 2 years and we are now engaged, we chose to live here in Australia instead of my county, the US. The move triggered my BPD. I have lived most of my life with this head of mine; I have developed coping mechanisms and build a support system that, in ways, enabled me. But I left all that behind: my support system, identity, and methods of coping, and I'm left with this head. I have to be honest; I hate myself 90% of the time. I have terrible mood swings: I get super excited about things and obsess about them, I get depressed and need to isolate, and I see the world in extremes, especially with those close to me, which makes me go from “normal” to really angry in seconds which makes it difficult to make new friends and keep and maintain a solid relationships. And let’s get real, I have become a person I wouldn’t even want to be near: a negative, depressed, angry, dark person. But now, I am away from everything I knew and loved, my family, my friends. I am left with this head of mine and it's constantly telling me I am horrible and can’t be helped. I think maybe there are treatments out there; I have to believe that somehow, all this pain, emptiness, anger and personal hate can go away. That I can let people in, actually in, and I can learn how to allow myself to be happy and be me again.

MickeyH Finally admitting I need help
  • replies: 7

Hi, I have finally accepted that I need help with what I believe to be depression and anxiety. I have never spoken to anyone, friend, family or professional about the extent of my mental issues. I can't even really put it in to words myself, I just k... View more

Hi, I have finally accepted that I need help with what I believe to be depression and anxiety. I have never spoken to anyone, friend, family or professional about the extent of my mental issues. I can't even really put it in to words myself, I just know what I feel and think and I know it's not right. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel this way, or when suicide wasn't in the back of my mind. I feel like as soon as I say the word suicide, I'm going to get committed. It comes in waves, at the most random of times, with no real trigger. Although the thought has crossed my mind many times, I have never acted on it and deep down I know that I would never be able to do it to my friends or family. But for the thoughts that go on inside my head, knowing there is a solution calms my mind down for a while. I'm scared I will be told I'm over reacting. I'm scared I will be told I shouldn't feel this way because I have a good life. I know I have a good life, I know I have nothing to really complain about but my mind doesn't know that. I suppose I'm here because I need some encouragement and maybe some advice how I approach this with a GP. I want to get better, I know this is the right thing to do.

Nosoul I have no soul
  • replies: 11

I have no soul. My feelings towards people are getting less and less... I dont like myself and i dont expect any one to like me either! Nor do i want them too

I have no soul. My feelings towards people are getting less and less... I dont like myself and i dont expect any one to like me either! Nor do i want them too

Existing Is this it?
  • replies: 4

I consider cleaning the kitchen a win. My life is pathetic. I wake up tired. I could lie on the floor all day waiting for night time to come so I can go to bed again. I have nothing to look forward to in life. I am alone. I have no stamina for anythi... View more

I consider cleaning the kitchen a win. My life is pathetic. I wake up tired. I could lie on the floor all day waiting for night time to come so I can go to bed again. I have nothing to look forward to in life. I am alone. I have no stamina for anything other than my imagination, and even that has become predictable. I am just existing. I am over being this person, I don't know how to fix me.

Missy14 I think I really need help...
  • replies: 15

I'm really not sure where to start, all I know is I feel so alone, I have no one to talk to let alone anyone who understands even a miniscule amount of what it feels like to be stuck inside my head. I've had some form of depression and anxiety for as... View more

I'm really not sure where to start, all I know is I feel so alone, I have no one to talk to let alone anyone who understands even a miniscule amount of what it feels like to be stuck inside my head. I've had some form of depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, even during my childhood. It feels overwhelming now, to the point I don't want to live like this anymore. I believe I may suffer from high functioning depression along with anxiety which means I have the ability to pretend I'm ok, really well. As I type this I'm sitting at work, at a job I hate so much that coming here each day makes me miserable but still, I put on the fake smile and get on with the day because I know it's what is expected of me and I also need to support my family financially. Underneath all of the fake-ness I'm screaming, my thoughts never stop and I have constant heart palpitations (anxiety caused I'm sure). I feel like a failure of a person, wife and mother even though I know I'm trying my best to hide the constant internal battle. The few times that it has surfaced has been met with confusion, judgement and such lack of support that it makes me feel worse. I have tried medications and therapy but nothing helps for very long and I always end up back in this deep pit of despair. I honestly don't know what to do anymore, I'm so lost...

KTOCD Feeling helpless
  • replies: 11

Hi, just looking for some friendly advice and company. I've hit a low point and can't seem find anything positive in my day. I feel really helpless and like I'm drowning. I've started to drink more to try to cope. I don't understand why life has to b... View more

Hi, just looking for some friendly advice and company. I've hit a low point and can't seem find anything positive in my day. I feel really helpless and like I'm drowning. I've started to drink more to try to cope. I don't understand why life has to be so hard. What did I do wrong to deserve this? I'm really stuck in a hole. I'm already on the maximum of medication and I'm not getting much from psychology sessions.

Hayley How do you handle disappointing others?
  • replies: 3

When the depression hits hard I find that I cant commit to things like employment, volunteer work even friendships and family. Having to call and cancel or say I am unable to make it today brings anxiety because I feel so guilty that Im letting that ... View more

When the depression hits hard I find that I cant commit to things like employment, volunteer work even friendships and family. Having to call and cancel or say I am unable to make it today brings anxiety because I feel so guilty that Im letting that person down, not being the best friend that I could be,daughter I could be, How do other people handle this any advice on this shared experience would be helpful.

Rainforrest Social fear
  • replies: 4

Dear CommunityPlease help. I feel like I am sliding into a black hole. I am numb and withdrawn from society. I function and appear normal, I go to work smile at the customers then go home and hide. but inside I am crying out for real connection and u... View more

Dear CommunityPlease help. I feel like I am sliding into a black hole. I am numb and withdrawn from society. I function and appear normal, I go to work smile at the customers then go home and hide. but inside I am crying out for real connection and understanding. I feel very alone. I feel embarrassed and a bit pathetic. I feel like I have lost being able to connect and converse on a normal and meaningful level. If I do go out I sit alone and feel awkward. I am drifting into oblivion and it frightens me. Where can I go to reconnect and find a place where I feel accepted and welcome and to have something to contribute without being a burden, a victim or wallowing in self pity. I have felt like this for as long as I can remember - even as a kid. I want to be vibrant and a part of something bigger than these feelings of lack.

Bloodstone My life with depression.
  • replies: 7

Hi Bloodstone here, I'm new to the forum. 46 years old, male. I really appreciate the shares. I would like to share alittle of my story. I've had depression since I was small, about 5 or so. This was due to family difficulties. Teens were tough, due ... View more

Hi Bloodstone here, I'm new to the forum. 46 years old, male. I really appreciate the shares. I would like to share alittle of my story. I've had depression since I was small, about 5 or so. This was due to family difficulties. Teens were tough, due to family relations and no vent for my emotions. Nervous breakdown with 18 years. Depression and daily suicidal tendencies for the next 20 years. Then I went on meds, trying various one under the direction of my Psychiatrist. Changing after a few years to combat relapse. I must say the medication really helped my confidence and enabled me to tackle bad habits and addiction. I found that tackling depression and suicide, for me, was an all round approach. First I needed to live a lifestyle that included rest and play, meditation, reflection, counselling, medication, and reduced work hours. Secondly I needed to address my addiction. This took about 10 years with help from self help groups and meds. I have lowered my life and career expectations to match the reality of my illness. I still have many dark times and depressive relapses. But when I'm really blue the fact that my lifestyle is healthy means I'm not starting at zero. Thanks warm regards B.

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