Sad mum: depression triggered by hair loss

[backtobliss]

Hi anyone and everyone,

I'm new to the site but definitely need to be here. I've been suffering from anxiety and depression this time round for the past 4 months. My marriage broke down late 2015 and I moved from the family home, I was happy with the decision and possibly the happiest I have been in a very long time, my how times have changed. My trigger has been hair loss, my hair has been falling out noticeably and rapidly since last year - doctors put it down to stress from my change of life circumstances. I have lost about 60% of my hair and this has sent me into a downward spiral of depression, that I feel like I cant get out of. At the moment I cry almost hourly and have a very unhealthy obsession with searching and researching and googling and youtube-ing Hair Loss, Head Shaving and bald women. Before this bout I was so happy, happy with myself, my appearance and my life - now I don't know how Ill keep going or if I even want to - I find nothing enjoyable at the moment just stressful and difficult even the simple things like school pick up and groceries I find an uphill battle.

I've made an appointment to see my GP (again) but this time to talk about medication, I think the onslaught of negative feelings and thoughts have effected my hormones and digestion and inturn caused massive skin breakouts also - adding to my despair over my appearance. Many friends have tried to reach out but I have completely dropped out of the social scene and cant bare to look at Facebook - I know people are worried about me and they have reason to be but I don't know what to do to get back on track. My obsessive thoughts about my hair means I sit at home most every day online or walking between bathrooms and mirrors to look at my hair. Its no way to live - I'm considering just shaving it off completely but am so worried about everyones reactions and the "Britney" effect - lost her mind, shaved her head.

I don't know if this is a suitable post for this section so I apologise if its a bit brash or TMI. Hoping others are getting help and feeling well, hope to meet people around the forum.

[BluBelle]

I feel for you backtobliss. A few years ago, I split up with my partner of four years and had to move back in with my mum. I was washing my hair in the shower and clumps of it were falling out. I looked at the big birds nest sitting on the drain and started crying. Every time I'd brush it, my brush would be full. If I sat on the fabric couch, pieces of my hair would be stuck to the head rest when I got up. I had really thick hair but I estimate I lost about a third of it. I had my mum check my scalp for bald patches, she didn't see anything noticeable but I could feel how thin it was when it put it up in a ponytail. It is most likely stress, if you look at the hair that falls out you can see the little root bulb on it so it's definitely falling out and not just breaking off. I went to see a naturopath and got some drops, I also started practicing meditation. Maybe those two things worked, maybe it was a placebo effect or maybe enough time had just passed but my hair stopped falling out. It looked bizarre when it grew back, all wispy and short but it's basically back to normal now. I know how frightening it is, and it makes you even more stressed - which only makes it worse! On your next visit to the GP, I recommend asking for a referral to see a psychologist or a counsellor. They can help you with stress management and get you out of that dark spiral.

[backtobliss]

Thanks so much BluBelle for reaching out and sharing your story with me. I can so totally relate, except that I didn't start with as much hair and can now see my scalp in many places. I have tried a naturopath and different vitamins, topicals and the likes but I think your right that the ongoing stress is the culprit and that meditation could be helpful along with psychologist appointments - that's definitely on my list to ask my GP for a referral. I'm glad I can get in early Monday morning because the past 3 days have been pretty rock bottom for me, along with Uni and caring for my children, the overwhelming sadness has been exhausting. Thank you once again for replying to me.

[BluBelle]

It's such an unfortunate side effect. I felt like Marge Simpson in that episode where her hair falls out! I'm really glad you're going to see a GP for a referral and try meditation. There are some really good apps you can use on your phone, I've got one, I think it's called Smiling Mind. It's only short little bursts of less than five minutes so you can slot it in throughout the day. I also have an app on my phone that plays ocean sounds and rainforest sounds and stuff. I like to listen to that as I'm falling asleep, helps stop my mind from racing around. There are some good videos on YouTube for guided meditation. Years ago I also went to a meditation group at my local community centre. Was really cheap and they had childcare, maybe there is something like that in your area? Meditation doesn't make all the stressful things go away obviously, that's something you have to work on changing bit by bit. But it definitely helps you feel calmer and more able to manage the stress. Let me know how you go, I'm keen to find out what works for you!

[SunnyQ]

Losing hair is so hard. It's a cruel side effect when you are feeling so low to start with. It's such a part of our identity. I hope you find some improvements in your life. I have wigs, scarves, hats etc but some days are just tougher than others with or without the extras.

[sensitiveswan]

Hi backtobliss,

I noticed it has been a while since you posted this message. I just wanted to check in that you were ok? I hope the GP could help. I haven't been in your situation as far as the hair goes, but the depression and crying everyday I can definitely relate to. It sucks. Big cyber hugs to you. I hope you're feeling better x