What's the next step?

[rosi]

Hello everyone, I've looked through some posts and my heart breaks for the things you are all going through - i can empathise with many things. my long long story short is i dont know what to do from here.

I've been married nearly 21 years to an emotionally abusive and controling man. Then he switches and is lovely. five children from 9-20 (older one not at home anymore). youngest child has autism, second has GAD and has recently been accepted thru a hospital mental health plan and is also autism borderline. 17 year old has manjor anxiety and depression, seeing a pysch and on meds but quit year 12 a few months ago right before graduating and he is also agressive and controntational towards younger kids so i often leave the house with them. he goes up and down. i know i have reached a point of almost breaking down a couple of times in the past but right now am at that point again. and can't hide it. i have no one to turn to, no friends. i know i have to do something but don't know what my next step is - so I've come here. I've had major sleep issues since last child was born and drugs for anti depressants or sleeping do not work. even at four times the dose. so im a zombie as well. I'm trying to do what's needed for the kids but I'm failing badly and can't put a face on anymore. have no cash - how do i see a pysch or someone for meds? i honestly do think i may have a disorder that needs medicating but can't figure out what's wrong with me or how to fix it - to stop the panic attacks and thoughts and depression. maybe just start with a gp?

[SourceShield]

Hi Rosi,

I can only imagine what life has been like for you.

Thank you for reaching out.

I feel that you definitely require some assistance and support.

Because there are a few questions that you have, I would suggest calling through to the Beyond Blue Contact Centre - 1300 22 4636 - This service is here to point you in the right direction. There is also Lifeline as well, and other organisations to speak with, to get the right and best assistance.

A quick chat with the right person will help you out heaps!

I have HFA - High Functioning Autism. Its been a challenge to adjust but it is possible.

You're taking positive steps forward, in that you've asked for help, and that shows that you're being proactive as well.

Stay in touch and if you need any more assistance with this, let us know!

Take it easy on you.

[TheSteve]

Hi Rosi,

Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about what you have been through. That is a tough road for anybody, and you have very admirably raised 5 children through it all. What a gem.

Now, it is time that you took care of yourself so you can take care of your youngest. Source gives some great advice - definitely call up the BBCC and have a talk, ask questions, have a cry, get it off your chest. You are right in that you should start with a doctor, I completely agree.

The issue is you can't go and medicate yourself further if you are already taking anti-depressants and sleep aids in high doses, as this could really cloud the picture. With your doctor's help, my thinking is you need to minimize what you are on, see what the real "Rosi" looks like underneath and what is going on, and then re-design your program accordingly. This is like peeling back the layers, and then figuring out how to dress what is there.

As Source says, you need to take care of you. Without taking care of you, and with you in bad shape, you cannot unfortunately be front-and-center for your children who need you. With mum on the mend, your kids will be all the better for it. However, I commend you on soldiering through for your kids - many people would have caved already but you have stuck it out. You are a tough cookie. Please take care of you now.

Go to a GP, then see a good behavioural therapist/psychologist. Eat clean. Be active. Get your sleep under control, this is critical. Rest. Deal with each of the problems one by one, and watch them slowly weaken their grip on you.

When you are strong again, then you can deal with your husband's behaviours.

All my best to you, come back and chat anytime.

Steve