Not sure what is best

[Bexx]

Hello.

I am almost 30 (this month) and have PSTD, generalised anxiety disorder and major depressive disorder. 

 I have been in a long term relationship which has been unhealthy for both parties and not much of a relationship to be honest. I only just started seeking professional treatment about 6 months ago when I had a massive breakdown and had to be admitted to a psyciatric hospital. While my partner has said he still loves me, he has made it clear the behaviours we had before cannot continue as it was not fair or healthy and he will not stand for it anylonger. I understand this and agree but it increases anxiety to worry about falling back into the rut and also clearly identifying what is and what is not acceptable as his communication skills arent that great.

I spent 4 months in a psyciatric clinic stabalising, and after discharge, I went to live at my parents as i was too much for my partner to care for while working full time.

I have been recovering slowly from the last breakdown and then had to move house. A huge change as its quite far from my family (35km vs 1km, house vs apartment) and my partner is overseas for another month. I managed the move successfully by myself through all the bumps that were thrown at me, but I have only been able to sleep there a few nights. Over the past weeks i have had daily panic attacks and they are now so bad, i have regressed to the point where i cant manage on my own. I can barely eat and i have ulcers in my mouth and stomach. I cant sleep, i cant relax. I have come back to my parents but im not sure is this the best thing for me... should i stay here or should I go back to the psyciatric hospital? I know i need to learn more independence and my partner thinks my parents 'baby' me but i also think this is helpful because its less artificial than the hospital environment and when i improve i have the ability to do things for myself whereas in the hospital i have to wait till im discharged to be able to 'practice' things like cooking for myself and cleaning for myself. In addition to this, i can have my two dogs at my parents who really comfort me and i cant have them at the hospital.

i am wondering what other peoples opinions are on this... am i better off with my parents or back in hospital? 

[Scotchfinger]

Hi

I'll just answer the part about the dogs. I know our/my dog provides good therapy for me. Good enough reason to stay anywhere where you have access to these amazing animals who seem to have built in antennae for a human's mood. Caring for them too, takes my mind off myself.

[SubduedBlues]

Hi Bexx

I have friends with PTSD (post war stuff) and based on what I have witnessed in them, I think you may be better off at home. At home, one is not bound by visiting hours. At home, one has opportunities to achieve small successes in which they can build bigger ones. At home, one sees the reasons to become the master of their black dog.


Insofar "as his communication skills aren't that great"

It is likely that his communication skills are different than yours. My ex-wife and I couldn't communicate that well either. After we had fallen apart, I learnt about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and the different communication styles people use.

Most people (about half of us) are visually oriented, and thus interpret their world based on what they see. The next largest group (about a third) of people are audio based and interpret their world based on what they hear. The remainder of people are kinesthetic and the world is all about how they feel.  Basically these are three different languages that don't translate all that well between each other.

I found out too late that not only was my ex introverted (I'm an extrovert), she used terminology that focused on how things sounded (being an audio primary person). So whenever I communicated something that make perfect logical sound kinesthetic sense to me, she "heard" something altogether different.  Had I known how to speak in a language that she understood, and vice versa, things might have turned out differently.

Oh, and based on how you write, I would suggest that you are a visual type person.

D'

[Bexx]

Thank you so much. I have heard of NLP but forgot about it in the 'fog' of things. I will make an effort to look into it. 

I agree with all of your points about staying at my parents. All very valid points and all very useful. Thank you