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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Simply_Lost No identity, totally lost..
  • replies: 1

It all started when my fiancé said, you should enter this competition! - Tell us about yourself.. - 3 words that describe you.. - What makes you fun to be with? - Why would we chose you, how would you make our audience keep watching and say "wow" and... View more

It all started when my fiancé said, you should enter this competition! - Tell us about yourself.. - 3 words that describe you.. - What makes you fun to be with? - Why would we chose you, how would you make our audience keep watching and say "wow" and "cool" Safe to say, I couldn't answer any. I can't beleive a stupid competition entry made me realize how pointless and worthless both me and my life are. I have no purpose in life. I wake up, go to work, come home, yell at my kids, clean obsessively, then go to bed. Most days I just sit at work and stare blankly at my screen for 8hrs. As a mother, I have no idea what I'm doing. I literally ignore them because I have no idea what to do with them. My relationship is failing because I don't know what I want, I don't know who to be and I don't have any dreams or goals to contribute - in fact I don't really contribute anything in any respect. I've found I no longer have emotions. Like say if something bad happened, I can't feel sadness or hurt. The same goes when something good happens, I can't feel joy or even smile. We set a wedding date. I don't really care. I'll show up on the day and pick up a white dress from Kmart on my way. I don't care for hair or make up because I have no idea what I like and doubt I'll look ok anyway. I make people in a room uncomfortable. I don't even have to say anything. If I do speak, while reasonably intelligent, I can see people trying to wish me out of the room, or wish themselves out.. I have no friends. Like none at all. Not one. I have a Facebook account with 12 people. All family. I had a friend for almost 30 years. Now I don't exist. My only friend, couldn't even call or text to let me know she and her husband had split up. I don't know how to make friends, she and I were together since before we could crawl. I can't even remember people's names let alone know how to create a lasting friendship. I struggle with perfectionism. But nothing is ever perfect and I beat myself up about it every minute of everyday. I'm exhausted, I never have time to do anything normal. I'm always checking that everything is perfect - the couch is straight, the wine glasses are exactly the same width apart, the lines on the tablecloth match to exactly the edge of the table, I yell at my toddler when he pulls something out of the cupboard to play with..I can't leave the house anymore. I'm really lost and I need help

macadamianut Coping with life
  • replies: 8

Hi peeps, I need advice and I don't really feel comfortable opening my soul up to my family or friends. I'm a 26 year old year old female with a full time job, healthy/fit, financially independent and not someone you'd expect to be having a tough tim... View more

Hi peeps, I need advice and I don't really feel comfortable opening my soul up to my family or friends. I'm a 26 year old year old female with a full time job, healthy/fit, financially independent and not someone you'd expect to be having a tough time. I am an upbeat, bubbly person who runs a health and wellbeing blog and loves anything creative. I dig self improvement and motivation and all that good vibe shiz. I lack confidence (but hide it well) and have struggled with anxiety (general and social) throughout my life as I am quite a perfectionist/control freak/ocd/bubbly introvert. But my world has been turned upside down lately and I'm struggling to cope. In 6 weeks I: - Found out my mum has lung cancer. - Thought she was going to die. - Found out it was operable through surgery. - Went to Thailand with my now ex and got a nose job (lol - this had been booked for 6 months). - Recovered from said nose job (ups and downs due to meds etc). - Happy about nose job but too stressed to be overly phased. - Overall had 5 weeks annual leave. - Went through break up with ex upon arriving home. Not too sad about it because I wasn't that into it anyway (nor was he) and more concerned about Mum. - Moved into my own studio apartment. Very expensive process. - Mum started chemo and she isn't coping well at all. Very stressful. - Went back to an absolutely chaotic, horrendously managed workplace and slammed with an unmanageable workload. Every day this week has been horrible and my managers are incompetent. It's a massive, dire mess. - Applying for jobs at my ideal employer (a uni) and getting continually rejected (3 times). - Ex is refusing to give back bond until he gets a housemate despite him being the full bond owner (he kept my bond in his accounts) I know my problems are first world issues and could be worse, but it doesn't change the fact I am struggling to cope with life. I have been through a lot of change and am struggling personally, professionally and financially. I feel a drastic change to the positive, motivated, happy person I was a year ago, and as a control freak/perfectionist I am finding it hard to cope with the emotional and situational chaos. Does anyone have any tips on getting out of this darkness? With work spiralling, Mum sick, my ex saying horrible things to me, my finances looking worse than they have in a long time and an all round feeling of despair, I am failing at "staying positive" and "being strong". Thanks

Kimbo_72 Severe depression and fuzzy head
  • replies: 6

Hi there. I've suffered from depression for many years now. But iv'e just gone through a major low. 3 weeks and counting. I am a worrier and have always challenged myself whether it be work, kids or home life.I went home from work early one day as i ... View more

Hi there. I've suffered from depression for many years now. But iv'e just gone through a major low. 3 weeks and counting. I am a worrier and have always challenged myself whether it be work, kids or home life.I went home from work early one day as i wasn't quite able to concentrate......it then spiraled down hill from there. I went to Doc straight away and said something doesn't feel right in my head? I was on medication and he decided to increase the dose. OMG! The next 2 weeks i was literally a vegetable. I couldn't talk to anyone, i couldn't go to work, (but forced myself to on a few occasions but cant remember.I couldn't function..... The worst feeling in the world!I gave the tablets 2 weeks and had to stop taking them. I'm slowly weening myself off medication all together, but i am still not functioning normally.My head is still fuzzy. Its so hard to explain.Its not thoughts its an actual feeling in my head.My frustration is i am a single Mum with 2 teenage kids who have no idea whats going on, and work full time as a Team leader, factory and production manager. I also run a digital press and over see 2 other staff! I have 2 dogs a cat and a household to run!I feel like an absolute idiot...... People are talking to me but i can't process what it's about.I'm booked in to see a Phycologist, but feel its way too late already. I'm lost and don't know what to do anymore.What do other people feel? I feel i don't have anyone to turn to for instant help.Kim

Shannon611 Depression and Anxiety for a new immigrant
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, I have been working and living in Australia for more than 7 years. Recently I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Before coming to Australia, I had a great job with stable income. However, I lost that security once I reached Au... View more

Hello everyone, I have been working and living in Australia for more than 7 years. Recently I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Before coming to Australia, I had a great job with stable income. However, I lost that security once I reached Australia. I am working in the university as a tutor with very low income. I also have a young school kid. Being here with no relative and closed friends, we feel extremely lonely. My son's father also lost his good job and become a driver in Australia. My son was an accident and because of the accident I married his father. Our marriage doesn't go well either. I never feel happy for the past 7 years, and I lost all my interest and motivation to work and eat. I cannot sleep at night. At the moment, my GP refers me for psychotherapy with a mental health care plan. The symptoms of depression make me feel very scary.

v-strom Feeling quite depressed but things are actually pretty good
  • replies: 4

Hi folks, need some support. Life is pretty good. Just got married in Feb to an awesome woman who has been my rock. Live in a nice house, have a great son and step children and step grandchildren. Work is mostly good, some issues but not massive. Bee... View more

Hi folks, need some support. Life is pretty good. Just got married in Feb to an awesome woman who has been my rock. Live in a nice house, have a great son and step children and step grandchildren. Work is mostly good, some issues but not massive. Been struggling a bit lately with my ADD brain a bit I guess. But I've come crashing down. It's just not logical. Since the break up of my last marriage, I haven't felt this down. It's like I've hit a wall. Not sure what to do. I'm not having ideations at all, just really struggling to focus and lift my head up.

Misty_Morning My conflict with reality
  • replies: 2

Apparently stress is not caused by life events but is a response to how we think about those events...well thats great. So Im distressed to the point of exploding with exquisite misery over how to provide for my two children as I have another baby du... View more

Apparently stress is not caused by life events but is a response to how we think about those events...well thats great. So Im distressed to the point of exploding with exquisite misery over how to provide for my two children as I have another baby due in two months. So I become cynical and sarcastic, I say to myself..."Sure! If the fridge is empty Ill lose the baby weight quickly!", Getting the power cut off could be beneficial for the environment!","The ridiculous amounts of debt I got into while drinking myself into submission for four years was worth every drop! Didn't need my gallbladder anyway!", But it doesn't make me feel better, just makes me more bitter. So I try to look at the now, stop focussing on the future..I am actually sitting infront of the ocean with a world class spectacular view right now. But I'm heavily pregnant and exhausted and have been crying all morning because I feel like an incompetent failure and I hate my partner, so I could be looking at a mass grave for what its worth. Actually the ocean kind of is a mass grave of emptiness thanks to the human races desire to poison and destroy everything beautiful about this world. I have been sober for 7 months now, thanks to this pregnancy and I've learnt two things about myself. 1. I suffer from depression and I was self medicating with alcohol whereas I thought I was a problem drinker and that was causing the depression. 2. I now have a lifetime of dumb things I've done while depressed and wasted to process and sort out otherwise I'm going to start drinking heavily again after the baby, which I really don't want to do.

Diamond2 lonely and angry
  • replies: 3

I grew up having no friends, I was very lonely and wondered what it was like to go out and have a good time. Like others do. I come from a broken home I think my father hated having me ....I found love at 16 well ... we were both friendless with litt... View more

I grew up having no friends, I was very lonely and wondered what it was like to go out and have a good time. Like others do. I come from a broken home I think my father hated having me ....I found love at 16 well ... we were both friendless with little family so we somehow ended up together for 10 years.... the relationship was extremely abusive physically and emotionally.... I was guilty of being this way to ... one-day after work I was standing at central and decided it was time I called my father which I hadn't spoke with him in ten years. After we made contact I went to see him he helped me get out of my relationship safely. When I moved states to be with my father I was only here for not even six weeks and my mother passed away.... the last time I seen her was when I was 16, we had a argument....she said she hated me, I never seen her again after that day we'll not alive anyway. Every time I think life cannot get any worse it does..... I'm 28 with no education I have a terrible job that I hate .....I get the feeling people there don't like me neither .... I ask myself how am I still here most days. I sit alone every second I never conversate with anyone sometimes I can just hear the clock ticking and I feel like I'm going to explode. My drinking is out of control I drink everyday gee sometime twice a day a little before work then I polish myself off completely in the evening....I can't concentrate anymore sometimes when someone says something to me I can see there mouth moving but all I can hear in my head is why the hell is my life like this the end result is I never heard what the person even said. I dread weekends yet I can't wait to get away from my job neither it's complicated. I'm 28 now and lonely, I feel like I watch every second just tick by. How come I can't make friends why have I been bashed most my life from child hood throughout my whole life...I thought I needed to be alone not to be hurt but I'm starting to think it was better when I was in a abusive relationship....atleast I wasn't thinking gee am I really going to be taken by loneliness.... I'm not sure what to do, what to think and when will I just snap ..... I feel sick and scared about what else is going to happen .... I can't take no more.

Helps_everyone_else Forever alone!
  • replies: 2

I suffer from manic depression, I have for over 25 years. I'm on medication but I still struggle everyday!! I do a lot of self help techniques but also struggle with them. I have a lot of issues in my life that I don't have anyone to talk with them a... View more

I suffer from manic depression, I have for over 25 years. I'm on medication but I still struggle everyday!! I do a lot of self help techniques but also struggle with them. I have a lot of issues in my life that I don't have anyone to talk with them about, which is obviously making it hard to cope. I'm fighting a losing battle at the moment and any advice would be appreciated. Thanks

Sigwingal How to talk to my partner about my depression
  • replies: 6

Hi All, i am very new to this all and just thought I would ask how other people have gone about telling there partner about their depression. I believe I have had it for many years but only have started seeing a professional in the last few weeks. I ... View more

Hi All, i am very new to this all and just thought I would ask how other people have gone about telling there partner about their depression. I believe I have had it for many years but only have started seeing a professional in the last few weeks. I did see one a couple of years ago for a short period of time and depression was mentioned then but I guess I wasn't ready to hear it. This time around it was pretty obvious to the professional straight away what I was dealing with. Anyway I've been with my partner for nearly 5 years. He has seen it all. I had felt like this before I met him too so he has been dealing with it too I guess but I have never mentioned depression. I believe he just thinks that's me and I have a choice. I don't think he will ever understand but I do no I need to try and explain and at least let him no what is happening. It has effected us a great deal. Unfortunately he is the one I take it out on and well we are now in a unhappy place because of it. I guess this is what has lead me to seriously get help this time. For the both of us but I no I need it. I can talk to him about everything else just not this. Suggestions please.....

white knight Great expectations
  • replies: 34

The scenario. You, your wife and your dog have planned a round Oz driving trip. Your wife's best friend, her husband and their dog will be in their bus. You'll travel together. Early on in the trip they forge ahead, on each leg they go out of sight a... View more

The scenario. You, your wife and your dog have planned a round Oz driving trip. Your wife's best friend, her husband and their dog will be in their bus. You'll travel together. Early on in the trip they forge ahead, on each leg they go out of sight and you wonder if you break down that you won't have the help you could have had if he'd kept an eye on you and kept close by. You drive along an outback highway and it happens, engine oil seal gives way. A tow job. No phone range. Your friends don't know, they were 5 kms ahead. You hitch a lift 60kms to the last town and organise the tow truck. You wait at the van park until its fixed. Your friends text you when they are finally in phone range about 300km away. You reply that you are OK, the car needed towing and "this is why one should keep watch on the other party" You also tell them to continue with their holiday but you are fuming inside. There are many questions but these are the ones I need answering - it it unreasonable to expect your friends to automatically realise for safety reasons to stay together? - if you think so and they don't share that view, would that difference mean you could not ever be close mates? - is there a bare basics level of mateship that you expect from friends. As we are in our van waiting for our car repairs my dear wife wants me to remain friendly towards our "friends" which I would now find difficult. But I'll try. Well meet about 5 days from now. Here's the thing. Had the tables been reversed when I found out my mate was stranded or even settled back at the caravan park, I would have driven back there to support them. In fact on two occasions that happened on our trip. Is it unreasonable to base your friendship with someone upon your own values? How can you calculate acquaintance will make a committed "mate" in the long term? So you can save time and not waste effort on someone that would leave you for dead on an outback highway? Are we unfair having expectations? Two mates head off riding their trail bikes. One gets a flat tyre. The other says "too bad, its not my bike that has a flat tyre" and rides off. It would be a given that they'd help each other in such circumstances. But my sister hit the nail on the head. "Our father always went over and beyond the call of duty and always got hurt". Im tired of people hurting me. It has to stop. The walls are going up! I just have to find a way of doing that and putting on a smiling face at the same time Tony WK

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