Chronic life long problems

[Laynelove]

So I've finally come to the realisation that the type of depression I suffer from is chronic and will be part of me for life.

 how do you accept that you will never enjoy life, never feel loved, never be fulfilled and still find the strength to get up every day?? How do I keep going when I'm beyond help

[Billy66]

Hi Laynelove

I'm newish to the posting on these forums like you I feel like you so much of my life but if you think about it there must be something that gets us out of bed every morning. For me it's work. I figure if I don't work I can't afford to feed my kids or keep a roof over our heads. I don't have much else in my life but a few days ago I wrote a list of all the things I would like to do even small things like eat better or shower daily.

I wonder if you wrote a similar list you might find something small to start with. I wrote my first post on here 2 days ago and the replies have brought me joy. 

Anyway this is just a short reply. I hope you find some hope by knowing that you aren't alone and people do care about your well being.

Billy66

[Scarlet72]

Hi laynelove,

I am also new to these forums. I try to think of times where I have felt less sad and down and what things make me feel good, going for a walk, being around people who know me, writing my thoughts down so I can reflect on them at a later stage and of course writing on these forums! There's a lot more help out there now and understanding so don't go through this on your own, keep writing and keep sharing, you are not alone and people do care about you and what you are going through. Have you thought about joining an interest group in your local community? Helps to feel connected 

scarlet72

[geoff]

dear Laynelove, hi and welcome and thank you for posting your comment.

I will try and offer some advice as from what you have said you feel as though nothing is going to improve and have no positive thoughts for the future.

Can I say and it's probably best if I give you my own description of how I felt, it was no different than what you have said and I'm sure that many other people would agree with you and me when we are in total depression.

Our feeling is that we don't have any friends or family who will support us is our number 1 concern, 2 is that we aren't getting any help or assistance from our doctor and/or psychologist, because they simply don't understand what I am trying to explain to them, so now I feel so alone, 3 none of those antidepressants (AD) have helped at all, just made us feel sick, so all that is happening is that we are jumping up and down in the same spot.

All our interests have now gone so there is nothing what so ever to look forward to, and boy, we know this and yes it happened to me, and it took me so long to start to appreciate life, seeing my 2 little grand daughters, but no it didn't happen over night, and eventually my fake face had to be dropped, because I was so scared that the 'wind would change'.

Everyday can be such a struggle, please know that we understand what you are saying, and when I say that it will get better please don't dismiss this as rubbish, because I take my role on this site very seriously, and also remember that I have been the longest person to reply to many people for over 10 years, so please I hope that somewhere deep down you can try and trust me with what ever I have to say.

I am only saying all of this because I hope that you can continue to get back to us, as it can and will be a long road, but with our help it may improve on how you feel.

I presume that you are female so I will end as I usually do. L Geoff. x

[Laynelove]

Hi Geoff,

thanks for the reply. I have atypical depression and after trawling through the internet tirelessly I have not found one success story at all of anyone overcoming this. I have a disorder where I 'might' reach 'partial' remission if I work my ass off. I am already 5 years and thousands of dollars into my recovery journey and I guess now I am just totally exhausted from the daily battle. I am 26 years old, single and my youth is slipping away. 

I have signed up for schema therapy as a last ditch attempt to see some results, but the promise of 'some symptom relief' with a high percent chance of complete relapse just isn't enough. I want complete recovery. I am struggling to accept that this will never happen. Unless science comes up with some miracle cure in the near future, I'm pretty well screwed.

 anyways sorry for the sob story, I'm glad you have found yourself improving and a place to feel at home here on the forums. The work you are doing here is very valued.