Man, I am sad

[bluejellyfish87]

Not a day goes by where I don't feel a sense of inadequacy. Even now I sit drinking my wine feeling like I might as well just fall off the earth... the people around me just tolerate my existence. I care so much and they care so little. Truthfully, I just need freedom whatever that is. It is not here. They all hate me. Even though I am good and kind. They don't like that. Sounds like weakness to them. I'm tired of being numb and making no sense...

[therising]

Hi bluejellyfish87

I feel so deeply for you as you navigate your way through such an incredibly challenging time. I'm so glad you came here, a place where you can vent your heart out and discover the best in yourself. By the sound of it there is just so much good in you.

One of the challenges of being sensitive is...you can sense just about everything, feel pretty much everything. In a way, it's kind of like a superpower that feels more like a curse at times. There is a freedom in knowing yourself as 'a sensitive'.

Sounds like you can easily sense/feel the need for compassion. You can sense/feel depressing comments and depressing people around you. Degrading insensitive people definitely have a feel to them. Grrr! You can sense/feel the deep need to no longer live a life of sufferance. You can sense/feel a need for change. 

With sensitivity, I found it pays to develop a bit of sassiness. When people would say to me 'You're too sensitive, you need to toughen up', it used to bring me down. When we're led to see sensitivity (especially heightened sensitivity) as a weakness, the comment's depressing. These days my typical response is 'You do know that comment is depressing, don't you'. Their response is typically 'No it's not'. Which leads me to say 'I know for a fact it's depressing because I can feel it. If you can't feel it, I'd say you have a problem'. BAMM! Flip the script and begin to question people as to why they can't feel what they say.

I've found when I'm surrounded by unfeeling people, there's the temptation to switch off (become numb). It can be easier not to feel at times. This way it doesn't hurt so much but it can become depressing, switching off from what connects you to life (your feelings). Sometimes, to make greater sense can mean becoming more sensitive so as to get a better feel for situations and people. 

A sensitive person thrives with other sensitive people. Such people are easy to spot, they feel/experience life in the same way you do. In the meantime beware insensitive people, they can easily bring you down. You can feel the downshift.

[james1]

Hey bluejellyfish87,

I'm really saddened to hear you feel really inadequate. That must be so awful to feel like you are just tolerated, and not cared for. I understand your mind might be trying to numb things because of just how painful it is to go through that much sadness, and I hope we can help you feel even just a little bit more valued. 

Please feel free to post back when you feel up to it. We'd love to speak to you some more and hear if you've ever sought help from any of the support lines or even any doctors or counsellors. In my own experience, I've found it helpful even just to speak to someone on the phone. They rarely were able to help with my actual problems, but at least someone cared and I didn't feel so alone.

Take care for now.

James