Feel alone.

[b24h]

Hi, I have know one to talk to. I have recently had my second baby and my gosh my depression is going wild. 
I have no family support and a partner who can’t stay faithful to me. I’m not really sure who to lean on. I have a 2 year old and a 5 month old and I just feel so sad and angry. Every day that goes on I can’t control my sadness and anger more and more. I never take it out in my kids but I take it out on myself. 
move put on so much weight, I look and feel like shit, I’m broke, I’m sad.. so so sad and I can’t stop being so unmotivated and tired. 
 

I need support, I just need someone to understand me and what I’m going through. Instead I’m called and retard and I’m toyed with until I snap. I hate it. That’s all I have to say.. I can’t control myself anymore. I’m losing myself. Being a mum is hard. 

[therising]

Hi b24h

My heart truly goes out to you as you face the overwhelming challenges of being a mum and managing a partner who can't manage himself effectively, all while feeling the whole experience.

As Mum to a couple of legends (17yo boy and 20yo girl) who are further along the track, compared to your 2 little legends, I've found not a lot of people speak about the depressing nature of being a mum. It can be so confusing, so purely exhausting, so heartbreaking, so lonely at times and so much more. In some cases, you can be left feeling like you're raising kids on your own while your partner does little else than fund the project as they continue to serve themself. Not all partners are like that but some definitely are.

Hmmm, 'retard'. While you work so hard to evolve yourself through and beyond the challenges of being a mum (on top of the challenges that come with developing your natural sense of self along the way), your partner's 'evolution' is highly questionable. While he chooses to retard his own growth through purely self serving ways, his comment reflects his insanity. Truth is you're developing, he's not.

Btw, no one really gives you the heads up when it comes to developing a greater level of sensitivity when you begin raising kids. We have to gain a greater sense of our kids' needs. We gotta especially sense when they need guidance and support (something you get a feel for). In the beginning we even have to sense the different cries, from 'Hey, mum, I got poop in my pants' through to 'Yo, woman, I'm seriously understimulated. Entertain me!'. Hope I got a smile out of you. The warning: As you develop greater sensitivity, it becomes easier to sense the questionable things people around you say and do. While your partner's nature may have always been somewhat depressing, now you'll be able to get a stronger sense of how depressing it is. You could even say 'Dude, I had no idea how seriously depressing you are 'til now. Now, I can really feel it. You really should do something about that'.

Sending so much love to you ❤️

[james1]

Hey b24h,

Congratulations on the second baby. I'm sorry to hear you have no support from family or your partner at a time when you could really do with that extra help. I understand you feel really sad and angry, and others are making it worse.

I am not a parent, but it really does sound like being a mum is incredibly hard and you really do deserve a break and a heck of a lot more praise and thanks for what you do to raise your lovely kids.

Do you have any friends nearby you could spend some more time with, or even a mothers group, just to find an empathetic ear? It would be nice to hear if you've thought about other help as well like counsellors, as you sound really alone in all this.

James

[Lenscap]

"Being a mum is hard" yep you got that right. A thankless, exhausting charity for those who you can only hope will never have to endure your pain. I bet it would be great to jump back in time, or forward, anyways to get a bit of peace. 😄

Look you're clearly pretty clever. You have absolutely nailed it here, life is starting to spiral and now is a great (though inconvenient) time to reach out for help. I would encourage you to reach out to your GP and book in to have a conversation about how things are feeling pretty rough at the moment.

There are plenty of people to offer you advice like reconnecting with a mothers group etc, but its probably best if you start with that conversation about postpartum depression with a doctor you trust. I'm confident you'll get through this either way, but id recommend the way of less pain and anguish. 😉

Happy holidays.

J