It must appear I'm being lazy but it's just too much effort

[MrsCam]

hubby & I are supposed to be going out socially this evening but I just dont feel like it... I manage to put on a happy face at work through the week but tonite it just feels like too much effort... I think hubby might b annoyed with me... I have not tried to stop him from going at all, in fact I have encouraged him to go which im pretty sure he will but I still feel like Im letting him down... I did no study or housework today even though I was supposed to do both... I know it appears to him that I am just being lazy but at the moment it is all just too much effort... I only got dressed today cos I wanted junk food so I needed to go to the shop, otherwise I wouldve stayed in my pjs all day... even now i am in my bed with my laptop even tho it is only 6:30pm... I know I probably should make the effort.....

[geoff]

dear Mrs Cam, it's no good you feeling like this but I can totally relate to how you feel, and even now I still have dreams of a lot of what happened to me, and even those which I have pushed away and never solved, or as I say boxed them up and sent adrift out to the the Bermuda Triangle.

There becomes a time when are tired of putting on our mask and not go to the social occasions that we are expected to go to, it's hard enough for you doing it at work, and by being forced will only make it a long long night.

It's easy to say that you are letting him done, but if you look at it the other way he too is not being fair to you, so it goes both ways, but it's much more difficult to force you than it is to let you stay at home.

He will think of an excuse, but what I hope doesn't happen is for him to come home drunk and verbally insult you especially if he is annoyed with you.

You need to look after yourself and take care. L Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Dear Mrs C

You know in such a short while on this site, you've come here with a number of awesome, uplifting and helpful posts/responses to other people.  You've come here and fitted in so beautifully and it's been awesome to read your thoughts/posts to others.

But right at this time you're feeling just as you described and you know what - that's absolutely 100% ok.  What's more let me say, that "Hells bells, it IS winter".  Why not stay in jarmies all day.   And to hell with changing to go to the shops - if anyone says anything, just tell 'em you're on your way to a fancy dress party!

Have we spoken at all about - hang on, yes we have, haven't we - regarding hubby with your illness?   In that, isn't he going to go along to your next video session?  So in that, he does know how you're battling doesn't he?

And as you say, you're more than happy for him to go - so as this is the day after, I hope that you stayed home and I hope that he went and I hope above all else, that for your Sunday, you feel a 'little' better than your Saturday?

The housework will ALWAYS be there - it won't go anywhere - so just try to tackle it a bit later. 

Kind regards

Neil

[MrsCam]

thanks Neil.

I am feeling a bit better today. hubby ended up staying home as well tho he assures me it was just that he was tired after a full day at work and he was not upset with me...

thankyou for your kind words re my responses to others on this site. I try to be supportive and offer advice or an alternative view point where I can, especially if I read a post that I feel I can relate to... I mean thats the whole pont of online forums isnt it... hope you too are having a pleasant sunday :0

ps yes unfortunately the housework is still all there to be done!! 

[MrsCam]

weird I didnt see your post earlier Geoff...

thanks for the reply... I should clarify hubby doesnt say i am letting him down, its just how I think... he never tries to convince e to go out socially if I say I dont feel like it... I am very lucky that he is so patient with me... a lot of guys wouldve had enough of me by now...

[Neil_1]

Hey there Mrs C

Yes, the timing of posts can be a bit odd sometimes - and they'll just come in at odd intervals - I'm pretty sure it depends on how the post is written.  If there's some "iffy" kind of word in it, it needs to be checked over which will take a little while longer.

But overall, it's a damn awesome site.

Speaking of damn awesome - that husband of yours does sound like a really good bloke - he sounds very understanding of your situation, which you know, isn't exactly a common occurance.  My partner too, is pretty good on this side of things, so I'm very lucky with this side of things.

Sunday wasn't too bad - a lot of things done around the home - did you manage to get any of the dreaded housework done?   Even just a smidge of it?

So looking through your original post on this thread, would you say that you're feeling better now than 24 hours ago?

Neil

[MrsCam]

I washed some clothes and did the dishes... does that count??? lol

feeling much better this evening... we were invited to our next door neighbours house this arvo, we just moved to this house a couple of months ago so we dont really know them that well but hubby convinced me to go for a bit and Im glad I did. had a lovely couple of hours, they seem like really nice people

[Neil_1]

Hi Mrs C

Damn excellent to read 🙂  🙂

You ask does that count?   That counts on TWO points.  So well done.  🙂

And you had a lovely couple of hours with your neighbours and hubby.  Another big tick.

Just little bits at a time - that's all we can do - and that's how you seem to be approaching it, and it's going ok.  Just little bits.

Neil

[geoff]

dear Mrs. C, I agree with Neil and that's unusual, and it's good on my two counts, as it has meant that you have regained some confidence with some fellow newcomers, however it still doesn't mean that it will happen to those that you feel uncomfortable with, but this will be overcome down the track, and secondly you made the decision to go next door, where you could have just stayed in your pj's and gone back to bed, oh and another one is that you accepted the kind gesture from your husband, rather than argue with him, and oh another one is that you have made the effort the do the dishes and wash some clothes.

All these are positive for you, and that's something to be proud of. L Geoff. x

[MrsCam]

Thanks guys... feeling much better today... been to work then went for a walk with a friend... tomorrow is a day off and I AM GOING TO DO MY STUDY!!!!

 I am going to make myself do it as I know I will feel so much better when my course is complete