In pain

[concused]

We have just lost our dog of 10 years. My husband is 82 and not well. He was the thread which kept us going. A help to my husband when he wasn't well. My help when I needed it. We have lost our best friend. It hurts just as much as when I lost my son. I have been to the dr. And a psychologist..but I don't really want to do this anymore. I am not suicidal.,,,but it is now too hard. No....I don't want another dog..Eddie was one of a kind...almost human. Our day and night was devoted to Eddie. Just don't know what to do. Everywhere we went Eddie was there too. Am so so lost.

[IIEK]

Hello Amanda......sending you my good wishes to you. It is easy to wollow in one's own misery and forget there are other people worse off......I hope you are doing as well as you can.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Regards Irene

[concused]

Hello Amanda

I seem to have replied on an old part..ho hum....I just wanted to say that I am sorry you are also having a bad time.

I look forward to catching up with you when youb are up to it.

regards Irene

[Guest8901]

Dear Irene,

Thanks for your post to me last night. I was a little confused however, by the two responses from two different Irene's? Have you been a member here in the past? Thank you also for your well wishes to me, I very much appreciate that. Yes, I am doing as well as I can for now. Although, like most of us, that tends to fluctuate a bit.

Okay ... I promised you I would make some suggestions about some additional threads here on Beyondblue which you may find helpful and comforting. You can do a search for these by typing in the thread name as stated. Alternatively you can go into the Staying Well section of the Forums and having a browse through the many different threads names there which catch your eye. You are very welcome to contribute to any thread you are interested in, so please dont hold back.

But to start with, here are a few you may like to look up:

In the Staying Well section:

• Pets - tell us about yours
• Words of comfort, encouragement and wisdom
• Store your happy memories here
• Three things to be thankful for today

And in the BB Social Zone:

• PETS - gotta love them! Share funny, loving stories about pets and animals

Irene I do love your newly loaded profile picture! I'm gessing this has to be little Eddie? What a cute little fellow he is. I am thinking he may be a Tenterfield Terrier, he has that look about him. The last dog I lost was a little Tenterfield terrier. A wonderful little dog she was - so intelligent, so loyal.

I'm sorry to hear that Eddie was unwell prior to you losing him. I'm assuming you had him euthanised, which is such a hard process to go through. But it is the kindest thing to do, the ultimate gift to our beloved pets, to prevent their unneccessary suffering. So yes, he is in a far better place now, and I hope he has managed to find your son and to sit contentedly in his lap.

Its natural to feel sadness and loss when you think of Eddie. There will be times on your walks that you will think "oh Eddie would have loved that". May those thoughts soon bring a smile to your heart, rather than tears to your eyes. Meanwhile, enjoy the ducks. Nature and wildlife is a balm to the soul.

I hope you will look up, read and contribute to, some of the threads I suggested. Talking to others does help, in my experience, and getting out to other threads will allow you to get to meet other lovely members here. Meanwhile, I'm here for you Irene, should you need to talk any time. I will always get back to you as I can.

Amanda

[Doolhof]

Hi Amanda,

Just wanted to send you a "Hello" and hoping you and your husband are okay.

There are so many people in this community who are hurting and doing it tough, yet still manage to reach out to help and support others!

Wishing you some happy moments in your day!

Cheers from Dools

[concused]

Hello Amanda, thank you for your message. We are starting to cope a bit better. Yes...the photo is of our little man. Such a sweetie.....Hope you are doing ok. I will certainly look into the other links you have given me. We are able to talk about Eddie now and not break down. It has made my husband a lot stronger as he was very worried about me and felt he had to step up to look after me.....even though I am his carer....so that is a positive....so....we are taking each day as it comes...keeping ourselves busy.....we have talked about getting a rescue dog in the future...but it will be in the distant future....

Please look after yourself......and I look forward to our continued chats.....you and Dools have really helped me through a very tough time.

Kind regards Irene

[concused]

Hello Dools.....just wanted to thank you for your kind support. We are doing ok.....taking each day at a time.....

It has meant a lot knowing that other people have the kind hearts and reach out to others in pain...,even when they are hurting. I feel very privileged to have met two such people.

Thank you......

Hope you are doing ok.....

Regards Irene

[Guest8901]

Dear Irene. So good to hear from you again, and more importantly to learn that you and your hubby ate coping much better now.

Actually your post brought joy to my heart as I await news of my Dad who was taken to hospital this afternoon with a suspected stroke. Its really hard when you live a long way away from loved ones.

So I thank you for your lovely post. It came at an opportune time.

Thats so sweet about your dear hubby taking care of you. I'm also pleased to read that you may consider a rescue dog in future. I feel sure little Eddie would approve. 🌹

Amanda 💕

[concused]

Hi Amanda..just a quick note...how is your Dad?

Really hope he is ok....

Will catch up....

Irene

[Doolhof]

Hi Irene, Amanda and All who may be reading,

Amanda my thoughts and best wishes go out to you and your family at this time. I too hope your Dad is okay.

Irene I like the photo of Eddie, I love his ears! I would have wanted to play with his ears all day long! It is wonderful you are able to talk about him more with your husband. There will be moments when the memories will be sad and still hurt, and that is okay. It just helps show how much you loved your dear little friend.

I see that Amanda has suggested some different threads for you to look at, what a good idea! There are so many sections to this forum.

There are quite a few people who have joined this forum who only read and never participate in writing anything. We all use this space as we need. We will never know if someone has been reading this thread and gained some comfort from it.

Just on that subject, sometimes it can feel like a conversation may be "closed" to others as we may see the same group of people responding to each other. Forming bonds here is so valuable to many people, it does not mean though that others are not welcome to contribute and join in.

So Irene, if you do have a look around on the forum and see a place where you would like to join in, I hope you feel comfortable to do so!

Grief and loss are things that we may all experience differently. The hurt and the sense of someone or something missing is so very real. It is wonderful you feel comforted by sharing here Irene.

Our weather here has turned bitterly cold again and we actually had RAIN yesterday! Our cat didn't even want to go out into the patio area this morning as it was so cold. She is an indoor cat. The patio is fully enclosed so she can sort of feel like she is outside and lay in the warmth of the sun.

Thinking of you both and regards to anyone who is reading this as well.

Cheers from Dools

[Guest8901]

Dear Irene,

I'm sorry I havent been around for you. Thanks for asking after my Dad. He is now out of immediate danger, and is slowly improving from his stroke. An operation on Tuesday to remove a very large clot from his arm was successful. It was emergency surgery because it was completely blocking all blood flow to his lower arm. I have spoken to him on the phone several times and he is sounding a little stronger, though his speech is still a little slurred due to the stroke aftermath. I spoke to his nurse again this morning and they are now concerned he may have fractured his hip when he collapsed at home. So off to xray now. Its hard not being there, but it is a 7 hour drive to get where my parents live, and its not currently possible to leave my husband behind as he is not well enough. So its very difficult. Thankfully I have a brother and a sister who live near him, and they are spending lots of time with him in hospital. My Mum is not well herself, and so she is unable to spend much time there with him. I think the unfamiliar surroundings is contributing to my Dads current confusion, as well as the strong pain meds they have him on.

So Irene ... how have you been this week? I hope you are continuing to keep yourself busy and occupied with things both you and your hubby enjoy. And also that you are taking good care of yourselves by way of nutrition, sleep and gentle exercise.

I would welcome a chat if or when you feel up to it.

Amanda 💜