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I've always lived by the harden up rule, but it's not working anymore

Over_It1
Community Member

Life, 

I'm not sure if it is worth the hassle to even get up just so life can kick you down again. 

No work, (dont want to anymore) bills killing me (dont answer the phone anymore) just wanna hide in this dark hole and never leave.

I just want to be happy again .... even for half a day 

12 Replies 12

Over_It1
Community Member

Just updating on things turns out I'm bipolar and since my 1st post I've come to realise (with medico help) I've just had the biggest crash of my life and everything seemed dark and had always been dark. 

But after some long long talks it turns out that its not always dark its prolly been more light than dark .... cut a long story short I start meds today and I'm as scared as hell that life's highs wont return but on the up side the lows might not be as low.

Confused, anxiety levels are soooo high concentration levels are extremely low.

So relieved to have a diagnosis.things are still very dark but I've found the exit tunnel, can someone turn the lights on so I dont get lost. 

Thats all for now thanks for taking the time to read my rants 

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

dear Over It, can I just catch up as I have missed not responding back to you.

I am pleased that you have been diagnosed with bipolar, because there were certain comments that you have made that indicated this to me such as, ' if I haven't raged and destroyed them' as well as ' anxiety levels are soooo high concentration levels are extremely low' and 'laughing and crying'.

Neil is right when he says ' so people can just unload and vent and rant and rave (if they wish) and to just get things off their chest', and that's the last quoting for me at the moment.

I would like to know what your wife, who is very supportive to you which is great, but how she is handling your drinking at the moment, and I only mention this because my ex-wife hated me drinking and so did my 2 sons, as I had clinical depression, well that's what my psychologist called it, and whether it's any different to just having depression, I don't know, but probably not.

The lights in the exit tunnel are only turned on by ourselves, although we can be guided and helped all the way, but no one can turn these lights for you, because if this happens then we are not ready to overcome or have the ability to control this illness.

We have to have the strength to be able to walk through this tunnel and cope with any problems that may confront us along the way. Geoff.

Over_It1
Community Member

Hey Geoff,

I reckon I'll answer you first  before I get sidetracked onto something else .... 

My wife and my drinking hmmm tough question generally she is ok with it as I have control and can stop after 5 or 6 but then there are the extreme times when I'm unable to stop and thats when she absolutely hates it and will spend days afterwards not talking to me but she also knows that its something I'm unable to control.

As usual I was going to type more but am feeling slightly manic, I know this is my head telling me one last big effort before the mood stabilizers kick in and I'm not sure this sub-board is the right place for me to be venting my completely irrational thoughts and visions.