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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Beetle How did everyone go over X-mas?
  • replies: 13

HI I thought I pop the question....How did everyone survive x-mas? My x-mas was for the first time NOT drenched with emotional pain detachment and feelings of uselessness. I had in fact a fabulous x-mas! I spent it with my friends and it was lovely. ... View more

HI I thought I pop the question....How did everyone survive x-mas? My x-mas was for the first time NOT drenched with emotional pain detachment and feelings of uselessness. I had in fact a fabulous x-mas! I spent it with my friends and it was lovely. I also worked and I was very busy. Today is the first day on my ow and I'm exhausted from the festivities and working. Would love to meet people today too since I feel a bit lonely but I am at the same time bit too exhausted to go out town or something.

Axete Helping someone I don't know.
  • replies: 4

I am hoping someone here can help with some advice. I have a facebook friend I meet through a game. I live in QLD, she lives in WA. I've never meet her and know nothing about her other than what she puts up on Facebook. We've been "friends" for about... View more

I am hoping someone here can help with some advice. I have a facebook friend I meet through a game. I live in QLD, she lives in WA. I've never meet her and know nothing about her other than what she puts up on Facebook. We've been "friends" for about 2.5 years and in that time, 75% of her posts are filled with sadness and pain. She seems so lost, so angry with the world, so depressed. I know she has a 6yo daughter which her mum has custody of, she has no relationship with her own family and her husband is a drug addict. And other than 1 other person, it seems all her "Facebook friends" don't know her personally either.She's constantly calling out for help with posts that say life sucks, she wishes she wasn't here, she's so tired of life, she's alone. "Codes" I learned from my sister as I watched her raced to hospital on numerous occasions as a teenager, "codes" we didn't know about when my father took his life, and "codes" I have used myself when I struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts. Each time I've commented or sent her a message urging her get help and find the strength to continue, not that she's replied to any of them except for a quick thank you for your support every now and then. Last year I felt urged to call the police and they were able to find her in time and take her to hospital. And then again last night, I was up until 1am waiting for a call from Perth police to tell me she's been found safe after she posted she's just attempted suicide again.Now here is my selfish part. I don't want to go through this with her. I don't know the girl. I feel like my family has gotten the strength they needed to pull each of us together. My sister is now a happy mother of 4, I am a happy mother of 2, and we know our limits, our husbands know our limits, and together we work through the dark days. Those dark days are thankfully becoming far and few between, as our support and understanding help us through. I feel like FINALLY after 14 years (since my Dads suicide), our family is happy. It's taken us so long to get here, it's taken me so long to get here. I don't want a shadow hanging over me, the worry I feel this lady. It's kept me awake, it's kept me online, away from my kids, searching for answers to help her, sending her messages of hope. And that makes me feel horrible and selfish. I know how much support can mean to one person. If I defriend her, will she think/feel like someone else has given up on her? Will she feel abandoned? If I wasn't her "friend" would someone else seen her post in time or rang the police? If I'm not her "friend", will she go through with it and then they're will be no one online to help her? I don't know how to help her and I don't think I am strong enough to do so anyway. I don't know what to do.

porcelina32 Am I normal for feeling this way?
  • replies: 5

To be blunt I hate my life and I hate being me. I have always had low self esteem and body issues. I drive myself crazy. I recently left a partner of five years because we grew apart. I was happy when I left but I question my decision every day. We h... View more

To be blunt I hate my life and I hate being me. I have always had low self esteem and body issues. I drive myself crazy. I recently left a partner of five years because we grew apart. I was happy when I left but I question my decision every day. We have a daughter together and he has her most of the time. I probably sound like a awful mother but I'm glad he has her. I'm not a motherly type and can only handle small doses of her. She is 14 months old. I had a hard time during pregnancy and part of this was due to my partner and his belief on child raising etc. This is why he wanted to be the stay at home dad. I've never really felt connected to her. So now I'm on my own..... Wishing I had a different life. I have all the same issues other people do like no money a car that's dying. Bills and more bills. Plus now a child I have to take into consideration because I don't want to neglect her. I hate how I look and my weight. I try to find distractions through friends and sleeping with a couple of men (not all the time). At first I felt actually wanted despite how I look but I know they are using me like I am them I guess. so I just hate myself more. I cry alot. Unmotivated. Tired. Just wish I could die in my sleep as it would be easier. Too gutless to do anything to myself. I know. I'm an awful person and should be grateful for what I have. But really I think people would be better off without me around. I'm tired of thinking about what I should be doing every day, the right things like my daughter. I'm tired of thinking about ..... everything. I've felt like this for months. I'm good at hiding it. Think I'm just in denial some days. I can't talk to any of my friends about any of this or family.

Kakariki How do I help?
  • replies: 4

I am on the outside looking in so to speak. My partner suffers depression & I don't know what to do to help him. When he isn't under the cloud he is the most wonderful person.... good natured, affectionate, self confident, but when that cloud comes d... View more

I am on the outside looking in so to speak. My partner suffers depression & I don't know what to do to help him. When he isn't under the cloud he is the most wonderful person.... good natured, affectionate, self confident, but when that cloud comes down... it is breaking my heart! I want to help, tell him I want to help but he either denies anything is wrong or tells me I can't.I am always the first ( & usually the only) person he shuts out. He talks to& cuddles the dogs & my teenage kids ( he is not biological father but he is dad to them) & pretty much ignores me which also cuts deep. But still I stand with him & if any of you have any idea what I can do to help him through these dreadful black days I would be eternally grateful. I do understand it is hard for those who suffer depression but it is also hard for those who love them

jodes76 Will it ever end
  • replies: 2

The other night I self harmed. I want to get better, but there's so many obstacles I feel I will never overcome. I'm really stuck with what to do.

The other night I self harmed. I want to get better, but there's so many obstacles I feel I will never overcome. I'm really stuck with what to do.

amamas Crappy day!!!!
  • replies: 11

Hey guys How've you all been today? I have been pretty crap! It wasn't me being alone that was the trouble that part been great. What threw me is that this is the least alone I've ever felt at xmas. That's been a painful reality to try and face. One ... View more

Hey guys How've you all been today? I have been pretty crap! It wasn't me being alone that was the trouble that part been great. What threw me is that this is the least alone I've ever felt at xmas. That's been a painful reality to try and face. One of my so called "friends" just text me (first time in a while) asked me how I was. I text back I've been ****. My "lovely friend" text me Still ****? This "friend" knows heaps of what I've been through, knows my illnesses yet still expects me to snap out of it. Sorry vent done... So food been delicious, started my painting, watched some movies, listened to music and here's the stink part smoked. Fell off the non smoking wagon with a mighty thunk!!! Back to it tomorrow. I have to find a way to feel my emotional pain without smokes (my little security smoke screen). How do you guys do it? Any non addictive things I'd love to hear ideas!!!! Merry Xmas everyone!

Pete81 Alone
  • replies: 1

I'm back from a small holiday with the boys and my now ex. It was great being able to spend time with them all. Until on the way home to realise that once we got home that we will all be moving and it will be my first time away from the kids and firs... View more

I'm back from a small holiday with the boys and my now ex. It was great being able to spend time with them all. Until on the way home to realise that once we got home that we will all be moving and it will be my first time away from the kids and first time I've ever lived on my own. Its worried me so much I've made myself sick over it and getting my usual tight chest feeling. The more I think about it I just cant do it. I have been unable to find employment locally but have managed to find a good job over 7 hours away. Just don't think i can not see my kids everyday. My ex says that i lived closer i could see them when ever i want but if she doesn't want to live with me now why would she want me around everyday and its still not the same I love seeing them going to sleep and seeing them wake up with huge big smiles that just melt your heart first thing in the morning. I have no family that i can talk to and just feel so alone nearly all of my so called mates cant be bothered to talk to me anymore as they are too busy and don't really give a stuff about keeping in contact anymore. I just feel so alone and isolated and worried or nearly certain I'm going to do something very stupid once i move. I feel lost and numb i cry everyday i just want it all finished and not feel like this anymore. All most can tell me is its going to be a long tough road ahead but i don't have the will or the energy for that tough road I'm afraid to say. Thanks for taking the time to read. I will write more when I'm able to it just hurts so bad I cant do much at a time.

RiverPeaks I was born a monster..
  • replies: 7

So to break the ice, and finally get this of my chest. My Grandmother attempted to kill herself because she couldn't have any more babies after her previous 5 children. Her husband came just in time to call the Ambulance and save her life. After this... View more

So to break the ice, and finally get this of my chest. My Grandmother attempted to kill herself because she couldn't have any more babies after her previous 5 children. Her husband came just in time to call the Ambulance and save her life. After this my grandmother's husband decided to do the deed with his own daughter - in which she agreed to go ahead with. That daughter is my mother, and my grandma's husband is my father. My birth is from the result of inbreeding and will forever be a burden on me. Yet I had no control over it, no opinion in the matter. Sure my father did it on somewhat "good" intentions. But once he proceeded with this, it's was no longer his problem. It was mine, a problem that will never go away. A problem that was always destined to make my life pure misery. That why I can never forgive him for what he has done, what SHE has done. My family is no longer a part of my life- and I like it that way. I cannot do anything about what has happened, but I can at least do anything possible to erase it from my memory.. The worst part of this burden is that I cannot tell this to ANYONE I care about. Picture this: You have a wife and kids. Your wife asks you, why you keep your parent's history a secret and why you keep refusing to tell her the truth. You told her "I don't want to talk about it", how does that portray yourself as a husband? You are suppose to be honest with the person you care the most about in life. But what if being honest, will be the reason for your relationship to fail. But at the same time, if you're not honest. Who's to say that NOT being honest won't also cause the relationship to end because of "trust" issues. How do you persist to live, knowing that everyone you love will eventually leave once they find out a secret that you have had no control over. I'm weak and distress, the thought of killing myself now is a common thought.But, there is still a part of me that wants to persist. To take control of the opportunities I DO have a say over. To overcome this burden, and focus on the future. Not the present. To live a life with no regrets, no concerns and no more pain. But the path to happiness is a long travel - and giving up seems so much easier. I like to think of this being my first REAL step in making my goal reality. Addressing my problem, and getting other opinions on the matter. Getting another view on the concept will hopefully help me see this as something I can eventually overcome... This is a very sensitive topic for me as you all can probably imagine. But I know, if I don't express myself on this then I will not be around much longer. Please don't judge me on what I am, judge me on who I am. Thank you all for reading my story... Peace.

Mares73 A different day
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I'm sorry my last post referred to the distant past but I was upset BB wouldn't initially publish it due to the "graphic" "abuse" so I needed to deal with it somehow. It's also an indication of what has led to TNT PTSD, anxiety & depression I... View more

Hi all, I'm sorry my last post referred to the distant past but I was upset BB wouldn't initially publish it due to the "graphic" "abuse" so I needed to deal with it somehow. It's also an indication of what has led to TNT PTSD, anxiety & depression I live with today. It's overwhelming and debilitating at the moment. I hope 2014 for all of us is a better healing year. Love Mares

Girl_Anachronism SOS
  • replies: 27

So this year has been pretty terrible for me. This was due to a combination of : losing my job midway through the year when I suffered from gall stones, got initially misdiagnosed and ended up having to go into emergency surgery to have my gallbladde... View more

So this year has been pretty terrible for me. This was due to a combination of : losing my job midway through the year when I suffered from gall stones, got initially misdiagnosed and ended up having to go into emergency surgery to have my gallbladder completely removed; ongoing medical complications which lead to me not being well for months afterward; both myself and my husband having no job of the same past few months resulting in centrelink payments which can cover rent and food but not internet bills, car rego or electricity; losing my passion for studying my uni degree which transformed me from Distinction level student who did all the extra reading and research for projects to someone who couldn't care that i did an assignment half assed or when times got really dark, not handing in assignments at all failing both units in both semesters this year a rocky relationship with my husband as i lied to him about failing units leading to almost divorce (not that either of us could afford to separate- one of us can't keep up the rent payments) ...and the biggest elephant in the room, finding out early in the year that my father sexually abused both my older sisters between the ages of 12 to 24 and I never knew. I don't know how I didn't notice but I am now looking at all the times i can't remember anything about my childhood- memory gaps with a new light. Conversations I thought strange but shrugged off now seem to make sense. When I was in my teens, facing the TEE and a verbally and emotionally abusive father I struggled with depression and suicidal tendancies. I fought my way out somehow. I told myself I would never go back again. Turns out I lied to myself aswell. THis year....I still fight every day to stay here. For years I haven't felt this emotionally void and yet out of control. I feel like there is a glass wall between me and anything I touch, watch or read. I acknowledge what a reasonable person would feel but feel...nothing. To this end I broke my silence on it and talked to both my counsellor at University and my GP. I have been started on antidepressants for the first time in my life, three weeks in now. I can no longer access the counsellor as I am notattending University next year. I can't afford to see anyone expensive. I have an appointment with someone free in the New Year but they had nothing available before Christmas. I just don't know if i can hold it together until then. Everyday is so hard. I am back in that dark place again but I don't know if I will be able to pull myself back from the edge. So this is me. Calling for help. GA