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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Silent_Bob Well I'm here, whatever.
  • replies: 1

Not sure where to begin exactly. But you can only ever start somewhere right? Hey, My name is Harley. I am 20 years of age. I guess my heads been like this since I was around the age of 15, Not to say that I wasn't already a little depressed now and ... View more

Not sure where to begin exactly. But you can only ever start somewhere right? Hey, My name is Harley. I am 20 years of age. I guess my heads been like this since I was around the age of 15, Not to say that I wasn't already a little depressed now and then since I was like 9, but I only ever caught onto the whole thing due to my school life, regardless where i went to school i seemed to have trouble fitting in, I'm just the kind of person that keeps everything to myself, probably due to me never wanting to interrupt my parents since i was young. Never had a problem with my parent s or anything though, was just quiet, tense, shy, and i always daydreamed. It would seem i drifted away from everyone over my life. and school never helped. i was just the guy who didn't know how to fit it and became a loner, got beat up on from time to time and i never had the will to throw a punch back at anyone, still haven't, never really cried much over stuff, just seemed pointless. I usually just stayed in a routine to avoid any trouble from anyone, even at home. Life just stayed like that for years, moved every now and then which never helped. My personality is seemingly quiet, until you become someone i know. i get to be outrageous because its always like its been ages since ive seen the person. that part of me aslo lead me into being clingy and over protective at times during relationships. strangely enough the only reason i ever began dating was because of when my depression started. i spoke to a school counsellor one day and asked if there was anything she could do for me. A few weeks later she contacted me and told me about a camp wiht the reach foundation. she signed me up and happily went along with it not to say i wasnt scared though. but it started off well when i arrived at it all. got out a lot of my emotions back then, was just buildup from growing up. met a girl there and hung out, then ended up dating for about two months then never really spoke to her again. Two more years pass and i im back to where i started and then some, grades dropped and was informed i might get kicked out, so i fixed that enough to pass then got told i would get a scholarship into year 11 for most improvement of the year. went to year 11 with the scholarship and did nothing, dropped out half way through the year. never wanted to be near the place again, probably the only thing i regret now. thats when everything went downhill for me, never looked for work, start hanging around city kids, never did anything illegal though, went in and out of relationships, 3 a year or so, all only lasting to about 3 months and no further, never really pointed anyone out as a friend just people i knew. had a mate in my area that started hanging around with me, that recently ended. but he never really helped me with anything just made it easier for me to get out and do stuff. now up to when i was 18, had a major problem with a relationship and sent me way downhill mentally. ended that and tried to erase all possible contact, left everyone i knew just stayed home, only ever went out to see my mate and look for work. routined that up until it ended, i have a job now but no friends, no social life and no self esteem. all i do now is watch anime and work now. my head over the whole period has just been focused on why im sad and why no one can help me, i try and open up but its always too much effort and stress at times. this is one of those rare times now, i just feel as though it's a duty to myself to try atleast. plus i've been watching one piece and i've nearly finished the 620 episodes. i have a big movie collection, but all DVD and VHS. so thats just the short side of it all. and i don't know what to do with any of it. plus im in one of my moods where im just neutral so it doesnt really express how it effects me as much. but, yeah im just starting to freak out because i dont want to become someone who doesnt have an interest in life and shuts out. i'm already doing it now and thats bad enough. i want to enjoy my years and get the most out of life. but im just too caught up on worrying about how much my life sucks which is whats causing it. so blegh.. i just need to know what to do. and sorry, gave up on the grammar along the way.(usually don't)

will85a struggling to find reasons to be here
  • replies: 5

i was diagnosed with depression when i was 13, recently been diagnosed with a chronic depressive disorder, anxiety, PTSD, cluster b personality traits, poor impulse control from a brain injury caused by a car accident which was a suicide attempt 6 ye... View more

i was diagnosed with depression when i was 13, recently been diagnosed with a chronic depressive disorder, anxiety, PTSD, cluster b personality traits, poor impulse control from a brain injury caused by a car accident which was a suicide attempt 6 years ago. since then i have tried several times to end my pain. recently my 3 year relationship broke down, we no longer talk, my family want nothing to do with me, i have no friends, so i am truly alone. i have no job, the injuries i suffered in my car accident limit what i can do, and employers see me as a liablity because of them. i have a cat and 2 dogs, i know they will be looked after when i finally succeed in ending my life. i'm struggling to find reasons to stay, have nothing and noone. most girls i meet are grossed out by my burn scars from the accident.

CeceD293 Need help improving my appearance?
  • replies: 4

I hate being Black girl…it’s a curse. Black girls are deemed the least desirable and least attractive race. Mixed, White, Asian, Latina and Indian girls are usually prettier than Black girls since they have lighter colored skin, nicer facial features... View more

I hate being Black girl…it’s a curse. Black girls are deemed the least desirable and least attractive race. Mixed, White, Asian, Latina and Indian girls are usually prettier than Black girls since they have lighter colored skin, nicer facial features and better more manageable hair. I would have been happy if I was born any other race or was at least mixed so I could have had a better chance at looking decent. Black female features are considered unfeminine many people even say that they look men. I always hear people say that, “It’s hard to find a pretty Black girl…she usually has to be mixed to be pretty”. I am so jealous of those Mixed, White, Asian, Latina and Indian girls cause of their better looks and better hair. But since I have to live in this body I want to make myself look as less Black as possible. I have full lips (that are not huge), medium sized nose, brown skin, and coarse/kinky hair – overall I can only fix 2 out of the 4 problems. I plan to lighten my skin and get a weave. I want to lighten my skin simply because it is too dark…well it’s brown but I consider it dark. Dark skin is considered a masculine trait which is why both dark and light skin guys are desired. I know that White girls like to tan to get darker but their goal is to get nice light brown skin nobody wants dark brown skin. Also I want to get a weave because as you all know being Black my hair is coarse/kinky and a nightmare to look at and deal with. Full Black hair is a big turn off to people they always prefer mixed Black hair. In this world light skin is prettier than dark skin, delicate facial features are prettier than huge/broad facial features, and straight/curly hair is prettier than coarse/kinky hair – that’s just the way it is. Of course not everybody thinks this way but a vast majority of people do. This is why majority of guys even go for light skinned girls who are White, Asian, Latina, Indian or mixed. Many Black guys also choose these girls over Black girls simply because they are generally better looking. There are only few guys that actually like Black girls and those guys are hard to find. I really wish I was one of those pretty light skinned girls so damn bad. I am horrified and hurt that I was born this way. People have always told me to “love myself as I am” which drives me crazy especially when the person who says it is some other race. Maybe it’s easy for them to love themselves but they have no idea how it feels to live being Black. I was bullied all through elementary, middle and high school because of my hair and skin. Also any guy I liked made it perfectly clear that they only wanted the light skinned girls not me. Because of this I developed depression and anxiety issues. I know I got super unlucky being born just Black but I am going to do all that I can to improve my looks. Do you know any good safe skin lightening creams? Do you know any other ideas on how I can improve my appearance?

Nefertari Standing at the crossroads.....alone, sad and confused
  • replies: 2

As is usual for me, it is very early in the morning, sun just risen, world silent except for the birds and me still in bed with an obligatory cup of tea after yet another night of not enough sleep and of course, as I am aware, that is one of the clas... View more

As is usual for me, it is very early in the morning, sun just risen, world silent except for the birds and me still in bed with an obligatory cup of tea after yet another night of not enough sleep and of course, as I am aware, that is one of the classic signs of depression. It did take me many years to admit that I can fall back into the ‘black hole’ if I am not careful and many years to acknowledge that the edge is often looming. and it is definitely looming as we ‘speak’. On an intellectual level it is easy to understand why (an abusive and lonely childhood, a lack of love, validation and support for the vast majority of my life, inappropriate choices in relationships that validate feelings of low self worth, constant feeling of a life and potential unfulfilled) but on an emotional level, we all just want to be ‘normal’ but the question is what is normal. In the dysfunctional world we live in I suspect that normal is in fact just that, dysfunctional. My entire life has felt like one step forward and two steps back in my search for a sense of happiness and contentment and although there have been moments, in reality, when I look back, it is very, very difficult to think of a time when I would consider myself to be a happy person although I have always been very good at hiding that from the world (the hat stand with the masks standing at the front door that you pop on as you leave the house and remove on returning). In my experience, the majority of people don’t really want to know what is going on in your life, just want the obligatory ‘how are you’, ‘fine, how are you’ in response and unfortunately that also means family or those that you might have considered close friends. It is not easy for people to deal with other people’s issues, particularly in regard to depression. Often as difficult for them to accept as it is for us to acknowledge in ourselves. So here I stand at a crossroads and I admit to feeling very sad and very afraid and so very tired. This year has definitely been a challenging and difficult one and many of my old issues have raised their heads once more, particularly in regard to abandonment and rejection and I am at a loss to understand why and also to understand how others can get pleasure from deliberately hurting others. I have just returned from overseas after working in some interesting places for the last 6 and a half years and admit that I am not back by choice. I have been let down by many people (a former colleague who gave me an unfair and damaging reference, a cousin who left me stranded in another city after promising to keep in touch, a daughter who packed my bags remarkably quickly after staying with her for a couple of weeks on my return, an agency who did not follow up re: an interview offer and do not respond to my emails) and one thing after another have gone wrong with house and health and finances and car and ‘friends’ and life in general and I admit, as a result, I am now feeling very down, completely unmotivated and completely alone. The meaning of life? Still searching and still elusive.

StuartD Divorced, repartnered, blended family not working out
  • replies: 2

I'm sure there's a lot of people out there with similar issues to me but I have never come across anyone myself! I happily divorced over 8 years ago and soon after met a wonderful lady with 3 kids of her own. For the last 7 years we agreed to keep ou... View more

I'm sure there's a lot of people out there with similar issues to me but I have never come across anyone myself! I happily divorced over 8 years ago and soon after met a wonderful lady with 3 kids of her own. For the last 7 years we agreed to keep our families separated (i.e. not blended) for the good of our relationship, and it worked well. Back in June I moved in to her home with her and her daughter (16yo). I pretty much sold or gave away all my possesions as my partner already had everything. So here I am with no personal possessions, no home to really call my own and nowhere else to go or to turn. In the last 6 months our relationship has soured to the point that I only feel like a guest or a servant. We no longer interact with each other and my partner doesn't seem to understand why I am sometimes upset. My 2 beautiful children live with their mother and due to her recent move I don't get to see them much. If I leave my current relationship I will leave with absolutely nothing. I'm in my forties and I've nothing to show for my life. Q. Simply, whats the point!

Beetle How to plan your life around depression and anxiety. clueless
  • replies: 10

Hi Even though i provide everyone with ideas and suggestions- when it comes to me im completly lost what to do. Since I am diagnossed with depression and anxiety 3 weeks ago i am unsure how to live my life. I want to get better and feel I cant do wha... View more

Hi Even though i provide everyone with ideas and suggestions- when it comes to me im completly lost what to do. Since I am diagnossed with depression and anxiety 3 weeks ago i am unsure how to live my life. I want to get better and feel I cant do what I ve done before since that must have caused my depression? I dont know how much activity is too much or too little, how much rest/company is too much or too little and how far to plan ahead and to look back into my past. I feel my body gonna breeak down if i dont read my bodies reactions to situations correctly and the suicidal thoughts and panic comes back. I feel ok at the moment, a bit empty though, and on meds(SNRI's) 60mg the last 3 weeks. I see my councoillour tuesday and my GP on Thursday. I would b greatful about any help. Im totally lost and confused. Beetle

kayyha Struggling day by day.
  • replies: 6

Hi guys, I'm new here. I am a 16 year old girl who is currently in year 11 VCE (almost a year 12 student when I finish my exams.. Joy.), and ever since I have started VCE I have never been this unhappy my whole life. I'm always crying, even over the ... View more

Hi guys, I'm new here. I am a 16 year old girl who is currently in year 11 VCE (almost a year 12 student when I finish my exams.. Joy.), and ever since I have started VCE I have never been this unhappy my whole life. I'm always crying, even over the littlest things. Although I'm passing every subject, I've been a little behind due to me always being unhappy. My friend thinks I have depression because I told her I wanted to end it all and that I honestly think I have no reason to live. I'm honestly struggling day by day trying to pretend to be happy in front of everyone. I pretend to be happy in front of everyone because simply, they would not understand what I'm going through, how I feel and what I have been through (I was bullied my entire primary school years...). Whenever I try to voice out my opinion, nobody listens. I avoid social situations/making new friends because I'm very shy and I'm not able to keep the conversations up so I just put a bad impression of myself to them. Everyday I wonder why I even bother getting out of bed in the morning when all I do is just go on my laptop. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, no matter how hard I try to change myself and no matter how much I try to impress everybody. I feel hopeless and I feel useless. I just feel the need to vent out my feelings on here because I'm tired of holding all these feelings bottled up inside me.

will85a Need new ideas to finally move on
  • replies: 1

I was with this girl for 2 and a half years. We broke up, i spent 5 months trying to win her back, then had a serious car accident which was put down to suicide. the part i need help with is what she did during and after my hospital stay. she came an... View more

I was with this girl for 2 and a half years. We broke up, i spent 5 months trying to win her back, then had a serious car accident which was put down to suicide. the part i need help with is what she did during and after my hospital stay. she came and saw me each weekend in hospital. i liked havinh her there for support. she told me we would be together forever, we spoke about having kids when i got better. i couldnt have been happier. this went on for 2 and a half years. then for no reason she stopped talking to me. if she didnt want to be with me, all she had to do was say so. How do i let go when she got my hopes up and when she meant so much to me?

Justinvdw Over Everything
  • replies: 3

I'm a 20 Year old boy. I have had depression before a few years ago but I sort of got it over and made good with my life but lately It seems to be coming up again and attacking me. I'm not happy any more, I feel I don't belong here and no one wants m... View more

I'm a 20 Year old boy. I have had depression before a few years ago but I sort of got it over and made good with my life but lately It seems to be coming up again and attacking me. I'm not happy any more, I feel I don't belong here and no one wants me around. I feel lost and confused and alone and really I have no one to turn to The scariest thing I guess is the amount of bad thoughts running through my mind. They are the last things i want back because with the thoughts I had It didn't want to make me be here I'm just really scared and I don't know where to start as I feel so alone and lost and I really can't seem to get out of this

andee84 Really struggling.
  • replies: 1

I did drugs at 18, became extremely self conscious, withdrew from my friends and social situations, hid from the world for years. Now I'm 29, struggling with life, struggling with social situations, struggling with my family, struggling with people a... View more

I did drugs at 18, became extremely self conscious, withdrew from my friends and social situations, hid from the world for years. Now I'm 29, struggling with life, struggling with social situations, struggling with my family, struggling with people at work, struggling with meeting a girl, struggling with the thought of getting the job I want because of my social skills. Every day is hard. Every day I feel slightly ill, uncomfortable. I have trouble breathing, my stomach aches, my thoughts are scattered with negativity and doubt. Life seems unfair. I feel as if nothing I do helps. I try so hard, but constantly fall short. I love life, but am in so much pain. I have felt immense joy in life, but for the longest time, sadness has consumed me. I worry that I won't overcome my sadness. I worry I will keep my problems and doubt for many years. I worry that if my doubt persists, life will get worse.