How low will I fall?

[Mares73]

Today is a disaster. I had an appointment to see a specialist that I've waited ages to see and it's for a serious health issue. I woke up dreading it but knowing I would force myself to go. I came downstairs and the first thing my husband said to me was "your going to have a shower and get changed aren't you?". That was all it took. I saw him and my son off then rested against the back of the door and cried. I cancelled the appointment and now the specialist is on holiday and I do t have an appointment until January 14. I'm trapped, feel myself slipping away. If only I had either a good GP or Pschiatrist or Pyschologist. I feel so pathetic not being able to manage. The bills are still piling up, the lists are growing longer. I hate myself. I live for my children. I wonder what it's like to experience feeling happy. Meanwhile as I write this everything is building around me and I just wish I could go to sleep but I can't so tonight ill just take it as it comes. Thanks for caring. Oh and T I have approached BB about contact but they don't allow it. I've done some research on it and there are some sites like ANU university-BluePages, Beacon, Blueboard, e-couch and MoodGym. There is also http://depression.meetup.com/ and  GROW which is a well established support group. For meetings ph 93396093. I had written you a whole analysis of your situation lol,,,when my computer crashed SO all I can say is I will get back to you. Mares  

[Teddas]

Mares, I posted yesterday that l seem to take one step forward and three back so l can understand what you are feeling.

All l can say because am not good at this typing stuff is look beyond the bad. Take a step back and find the positives. One you made the appointment. Two you got up to attend it. Three even when it all crashed around you you still managed to get your husband and child organised and off to work and school.

I have cried everyday for the past 4 years so know that feeling but we are both still breathing and communicating so are still fighting to find answers.

Dont give up because we are here for you. This place helps. It helps to let it out and there are people here that have experienced similar situations to us.

Please keep posting and we will help somehow. I work at a Primary school and just found out my closest friend , a teacher, is transferring to another school. He has suffered depression himself and has been a great sounding board. Not sure how to cope without him there.

Wish there was some way to get in touch with each other but will comtinue to post here and see how you are going.

My thoughts are with you 

[Teddas]

I haven't been on for some time and hope you are going OK. I have been suffering in silence but could really do with help. Not sure if this post was directed at me but am interested in chatting more somehow.

[Neil_1]

Hi Mares

I'm so sorry that I somehow missed your above post ... but I thank Teddas for getting back to you on this, and what Teddas wrote was brilliant.  About spotting out the positives for what you did the other morning.

It's a process of slowness and walking along a rocky road at the moment. 

How are you feeling today Mares?

I do thank you so much for the kindness you've shown me over the last week or so, when I've called out for support, you (and a number of others) have been there for me, and I can tell you from the bottom of my heart that is so appreciated.  It really is.  Even if nothing much is written, it just makes me feel so much better inside, but you write words that have a brilliant way of making you feel special.

Neil

[geoff]

dear Mares, I too am sorry that I had missed your post, the same as Neil, sometimes they get away from us, because we are so mesmerised from the discussions at the start, but of course this is no answer as to why we miss important posts, but please we care for you, as you have been a great contributor for others. L Geoff. x

[Neil_1]

Hi Mares

Just checkin' in ... I hope that you're doing ok.  Been a little while since you've been on, so I hope that means whatever you're doin, you're having as good a time as possible.  🙂

Cheers

Neil