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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Mandy_L Down and out
  • replies: 2

Depression is nothing new for me, going on three years now, but in the last twelve months, things have got much worse. My doc says that I have a severe vitamin D & b12 deficiency which could be making matters worse. I quit my job in July because I co... View more

Depression is nothing new for me, going on three years now, but in the last twelve months, things have got much worse. My doc says that I have a severe vitamin D & b12 deficiency which could be making matters worse. I quit my job in July because I couldn't bear the stress of my work anymore and am now supported by my husband. As I was the primary income earner in the household, you can imagine the resentment my husband feels towards me. I am so tired of waking up tired, I am so tired of feeling as though I let everyone down. Sometimes I think it would be better for everyone if I was not here, but I love my children so much and the thought of hurting them like that is all that stands in my way most days. I can't talk to my family about it, my husband doesn't understand and I wonder sometimes whether he even cares and the rest of my family have their own problems. I have been prescribed medication for this on a number of occasions but all it does is make me feel numb, numb to everything. If there were a pill to take all of this away, I would take it in a heart beat.

sparrowhawk Kinda stuck.
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm new here. I'm 21 and was treated for depression for most of my adolescence, with mixed results. I've been off the meds for over a year. I tend to find that I get depressed in cycles - not sure if this is normal or not. I've been really good s... View more

Hi, I'm new here. I'm 21 and was treated for depression for most of my adolescence, with mixed results. I've been off the meds for over a year. I tend to find that I get depressed in cycles - not sure if this is normal or not. I've been really good since I came off the meds - hardly any significant periods of depression - but this last week has just sucked. I've just finished my uni degree and I think it was really helping to keep me occupied, and now I've got a huge chunk of free time. I work but my hours aren't regular. I'm feeling really lost and alone. I spent most of last week depressed and had a bit of a breakdown on Friday (in front of my mum, which wasn't great). My parents don't really get it. Dad thinks I'm just "moping" and that the only reason I'm feeling down is because I can't find steady work - he thinks that because I've dealt with depression for years, I should know how to help myself. I do know, but I'm not motivated to do any of that stuff. Mum doesn't really talk to me much about how I'm feeling and tells me to "snap out of it" or "stop" when I'm upset. Siblings don't really understand and are too busy with their own lives & friends. Some of my friends know about my depression and understand, but usually I find I don't have anyone to talk to and that I spend most of my times listening to my friends talk about themselves (I don't mind that much, but I wish I could just vent to someone). I'm trying to think about what's making me depressed (other than not being busy) but can't put my finger on it. Does anyone ever get depressed "for no reason"? It seems usually that this is what happens to me - I get down and can't place the cause. I'm a lot better than I was but still not 100%. I guess I just don't want to spend another week crying, sitting around or staying in bed. Any ideas as to what I can do to get back on my feet?

Kitty22 Just over it
  • replies: 4

Got depression severely when fifteen. Issues at home. Years of extreme loneliness. All friends ignored me after a while. Lost the ability to smile. Used to be happy and outgoing w lots of friends. The only two boys I ever fell in love with didn't lov... View more

Got depression severely when fifteen. Issues at home. Years of extreme loneliness. All friends ignored me after a while. Lost the ability to smile. Used to be happy and outgoing w lots of friends. The only two boys I ever fell in love with didn't love me back and it took me years to get over them. I started going out with guys just to escape the loneliness cuz I hav no friends and can't seem to connect with girls. The only friends I make are w guys then they want to go out and if I say no, I lose them as friends. I was in love with this guy for thirteen years, and I waited for him, but he never took me seriously. After a few years I started seeing other guys but was never really attracted to any who asked me out. I am currently with a guy I am very dependent on emotionally, but feel I shud let him go, cuz I'm not rly attracted. He knows this but stays w me anyway, says it doesn't matter, but it does. I want someone I can hav a full relationship with, someone I'm in love with. Is this childish? I don't care... i am too scared of being alone to leave him. I have very little social life outside of him. I am scared hell leave me soon, but I want him to be happy so I will accept it if he does. i started to see myself as ugly from being rejected by the only guys I ever loved. I stopped caring about my appearance lately. oh did I mention I've had breast cancer too since age twenty seven, for six or seven years now. The double mastectomy sent me nuts for a while. Still no nipples...etc... am having counselling for the cancer stuff. Lost my job due to this. Now no motivation anymore. Live alone w parents but don't get along w them. Sick of being in this room. Spent all my depression years here. Feels like jail. no one can help me. Haven't even told u the worst stuff yet. suffice it to say I've suffered extreme mental trauma. I can't even explain on a forum like this. I suffer massive fear and anxiety every day. Terror is a better word although things may be getting better now. I'm too exhausted to care anymore. i don't want help cuz there is none. I trust no one. Nor will I.

kay3 alone,confused, had enough.
  • replies: 2

im 39 and my life is sleeping, when im asleep i can escape.its hard to get to sleep.... I cannot sleep unless ive taken something to knock me out for the night.i go to bed late then sleep most of the next day. Ive had major depression/anxiety for yea... View more

im 39 and my life is sleeping, when im asleep i can escape.its hard to get to sleep.... I cannot sleep unless ive taken something to knock me out for the night.i go to bed late then sleep most of the next day. Ive had major depression/anxiety for years probably since teenage years, lots of different meds but they dont seem to make any difference.Nobody knows how bad my thoughts are ive learnt to hide it and appear happy and capable,when truthly im just screaming on the inside. I know if it wasnt for my daughter and my son i would not keep going i just have no desire to live anymore. My reaction when everything builds up is i want to just take of and keep going (run away) its either that or i feel i dont know what i would do. Im supposed to be studying but i have let things slide but i carry on and my family still think im doing great,i couldnt be bothered turning up to work this week which ive never done because i cant afford not too. I just dont know how to live a life with out this constant feeling of sadness,loneliness,mind consuming thoughts. i know for sure if i had access to harder drugs i wouldnt hesitate... just to escape for a while There is only me and my daughter living together my breakup was a couple of years ago and i didnt just lose my partner i lost my best friend and every day i have thoughts and dreams about him that eat me alive as he found someone not long after and still too this day i can not let it go, it consumes me all the time. I know there is no real normal but i just dont feel as though there is no hope for me im not saying this to attention seek it is truly how i feel its like soul deep im constantly wondering if maybe my next life might be better.Then when i say that.. i know i have not a bad life compared to some which makes me worse because i just dont understand my thoughts, so confusing. ive often thought id like to just check into a hospital and ask them to put me to sleep for a few days and then maybe start some type of therapy where im there and dont have to face the real world until im capable.as ive been to psychologists then go home feeling worse just doesnt help. its 1.45am and yet again i cant sleep was extremely upset and anxious so i logged on here hoping to find some help,never written about my feelings before or really talked about it.

MikaelaB Clueless
  • replies: 39

  Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts everyday?

  Is it normal to have suicidal thoughts everyday?

tanhal1 My head hates me.
  • replies: 7

I am a new member. Everyday for the past 18 months my head says to me 'There's a reason why your so lonely' , 'Death is part of life, they will get over it', 'that constant pain in your belly and that sting behind your eyes, you can stop that', 'Stop... View more

I am a new member. Everyday for the past 18 months my head says to me 'There's a reason why your so lonely' , 'Death is part of life, they will get over it', 'that constant pain in your belly and that sting behind your eyes, you can stop that', 'Stop fighting me' , 'Your a **** mother and wife, you have no family or friends, you are completely alone'...........this goes on and on and on and on. I went to my GP, went on anti depressants and saw a shrink a few times. Decided in my infinite wisdom that if I didn't want to be depressed, I needed to stop acting like it. Went off the meds, dropped the shrink and took up a personal trainer three times a week. It didn't work.

rachaelx Ongoing depression?
  • replies: 11

Hi. I've posted on here before, and I thought I may of been getting better.. But I was wrong. Just to recap, I never really had my mother. She left when I was around 4, so that left me with my father. When I was around 8, he molested me. Took me unti... View more

Hi. I've posted on here before, and I thought I may of been getting better.. But I was wrong. Just to recap, I never really had my mother. She left when I was around 4, so that left me with my father. When I was around 8, he molested me. Took me until about 2 months to tell somebody, and that turned out to be my guidance counsellor. I moved out pretty much straight away. Even though I had been living with it for years, when it was out in the open it proved to be too much for me. I stayed with my aunt (his sister) for a while. As I grew up, she was the closest thing I had to a mother figure, so I turned to her. But about 3 weeks ago, I made the decision to 'visit' my mother. This turned into me moving in. I had previously lived with her for about a year 13 or 14 months ago. I left though because I was really unhappy. Now, I'm sitting here in my bedroom, unhappy as ever. I tried taking an SNRI for a while, but the symptoms were too hard on me. Made me have to miss several days of school, and me being in my second last year of schooling, it didn't work out. So, based on my new doctor's suggestion, and my mum's, I got off them. I feel really bad now though. I have for weeks. I've been off them pretty much since I arrived here to live with my mum.. I'm having increasingly bad suicidal thoughts. I go into detail with my thoughts. I envision afterwards, how my family would react. Sometimes it doesn't bother me how they would see it. At least the pain would be over. Selfish, I know. But at the same time, wouldn't my family be just as selfish, expecting me to go through pain just to please them? I shouldn't look at it that way, i know... I guess what I'm asking for is help. Last time I felt like this was 2 years ago. The way I dealt with that was by self harm, smoking, drinking, chroming, drugs. Running away, the whole lot. This time around, the only thing that's stuck is the self-harm. I've stopped recently, but I'm afraid if it doesn't get better, I'll start again. To be honest, I'm thinking of suicide more and more often. I feel as if I'm drowning, slowly. I feel like I'm screaming, and that no one can hear me. Dramatic I guess. But it's the only way I can describe it. I'm 16, and I don't want to feel like this anymore. I feel as if I don't get 'more' help soon, I''ll end up snapping. In a really bad way. Before I moved, I was seeing two counsellors. Now I'm seeing pretty much, 3 doctors, arranging to see both a counsellor and a psychiatrist. I don't want to turn down a bad path.. I DO want a future, with a good career, a husband, kids, the lot. I don't want to mess that up based on how I'm feeling now. It's just, this bad mood, this sadness, has been constant for the past 2 weeks. I swear, I can't get a break. I hate it. For those who have bothered reading this, thankyou. x

Andrewnapoles Don't know what to do anymore.
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm Andrew I'm 16 years old and currently a Junior in high school and I don't know if I'm depressed or just sad, I live with my mom who is always talking down on me and always makes fun of me and says how stupid I am and it really hurts me cause ... View more

Hi, I'm Andrew I'm 16 years old and currently a Junior in high school and I don't know if I'm depressed or just sad, I live with my mom who is always talking down on me and always makes fun of me and says how stupid I am and it really hurts me cause I love my mom but she just hates me, I'm always finding myself not doing anything, even the simple task of waking up In the morning is a struggle, I don't feel like any things worth doing, I used to love to hangout with friends all the time and I had plenty of friends and everyone knew me as the most out going and funnest to be around with, now I have absolutely no one besides myself. I have no family that cares, my dad tried to kill me when I was younger and always said that I wasn't his, my mom always puts me down and never has anything good to say about me, if I try to talk to her about my feelings she will just laugh in my face and turn it into a joke, I've never felt so horrible in my life, I'm never happy or sad, I just feel empty, my mind feels numb, I try to talk to school counselors but they're even worse, they just sit there and do nothing for you besides say "talk to your parents", I feel hopeless, I'm falling so behind in school it just adds a pile of stress to whats already there, with no one to go to I've turned to moderate drug use, I've been drinking every weekend possible just so I can feel some happiness, I honestly hate life right now and I always think about suicide, I honestly don't see the light at the end of the tunnel and evaluating my situation right now I'm 100% sure I can't get help and things are only gonna go down. I'm just not a strong enough person to pull through on my own, I need the support that isn't there and that won't be there no matter what I try.

Sharky Sad
  • replies: 2

I have made a huge mistake. I should have acknowledged something was not right years ago. Things have come to a head and I need to get advice. I'm seeing my GP next week, but I desperately need to talk about what's wrong. I have been married to my wi... View more

I have made a huge mistake. I should have acknowledged something was not right years ago. Things have come to a head and I need to get advice. I'm seeing my GP next week, but I desperately need to talk about what's wrong. I have been married to my wife for 17 years and I would say that our sex life started to deteriorate, pretty soon after our second child, about 10 years ago. To the point of having no sex at all. Just before she was born my father passed away from cancer and I took his passing pretty badly. I have realised over the years that I have times when I loathe myself and am irritable and unhappy. Today I am on the verge of breaking down and crying. We lived overseas for a while and whilst there I struck up a friendship with a work colleagues friend. It never involved sex, but has involved messaging and emails of an explicit nature. Yesterday my wife discovered some messages on the computer at home. I have a wife and two lovely girls. I have been told by my wife that I am very different in my attitude to my youngest one and it is most likely going to affect her. I don't notice I'm doing it, but attitude is totally different with my older daughter. I'm not violent towards any of them, but my manner in which I speak to my youngest daughter is quite cold and unloving. Understandably my wife is annoyed, disappointed and furious with me for screwing things up. I love my family more than anything and I want to get things right. Otherwise our lives are pretty good, I have a good job and the girls are doing well at school, we have a nice house and are lucky to live in a fantastic country. Help

MrsM Where did the Happy me go?
  • replies: 3

I had my first child just over 2 years ago. At that time is when I think I first had depression (perhaps Post-Natal Depression). It took me some time after a scary emergency caesarean delivery to really feel like a mum. I was sent to ICU away from my... View more

I had my first child just over 2 years ago. At that time is when I think I first had depression (perhaps Post-Natal Depression). It took me some time after a scary emergency caesarean delivery to really feel like a mum. I was sent to ICU away from my child for the first night which went against everything I wanted for my first time of giving birth. After some time I was feeling good again. I returned to work 2 days a week when my child was 6 months old. I enjoyed my time at work as it gave good balance to my life (and also a social outlet for me). When my first child turned 1 we decided to try again for another baby as I had always wanted my children to be close in age. I fell pregnant very quickly and was very happy about it. At 4 weeks pregnant I needed to tell my boss at work that I was pregnant because I am a teacher and there were some infectious diseases going around the school that I needed to be kept away from now that I was pregnant. So this is kind of where everything fell apart. I was offered work which apparently 'fell through' so I became unemployed. I feel guilty even thinking this, but I feel like I lost this job because I was pregnant, and if I hadn't gotten pregnant I would still be working. It's like the whole pregnancy became negative in a way. I began to spiral. By this time my first child was becoming a terrible toddler and I was at home dealing with it day in and day out. I had noone to talk to about it. When I spoke to my husband about it he just said, "she'll grow out of it." So this didn't actually help me at all. My second child is now 5 months old and I feel like I have completely lost myself. I wake up each day to the same old screaming toddler and crying baby. I am still not working as it is difficult with a baby and a toddler when you are a casual teacher. I love my children dearly but I feel like such a failure. My toddler screams all day which keeps the baby up. I feel unmotivated to do anything because I go out and it's embarrassing with a screaming child. This is not how it was meant to be. I find it so difficult to sleep...I am lucky if I am able to switch off long enough to get an hours sleep. I cry almost everyday, I feel angry, sad and stressed out all at once, like I need to scream! I then feel guilty because I should be happy with what I have. I have a loving husband and 2 beautiful children yet I feel like I just want to give up. I sometimes think I wish I could just go to sleep and not wake up... I would never do anything silly to myself, but I need help in getting the old me back...where did she go??