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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Sambo Alcohol and depression
  • replies: 4

I am 20 years old and have been diagnosed with depression for over a year now. Sometimes when ive had a bad day i feel the need to have a drink, (i know this is bad) but in my head it makes me feel more normal. I just want to know how may people on h... View more

I am 20 years old and have been diagnosed with depression for over a year now. Sometimes when ive had a bad day i feel the need to have a drink, (i know this is bad) but in my head it makes me feel more normal. I just want to know how may people on here feel as if they also need a drink to feel this way because of their quiet or shy nature. Thanks P.s this is one of those days:/

Mares73 Can't "act" normal anymore -breakdown
  • replies: 3

Hi again Thankyou to all of the kind caring people who respond to me. Jos your response about not thinking ahead and just trying to get through the day calmed me down.Today I woke up and my husband had told me that all the research I was doing was no... View more

Hi again Thankyou to all of the kind caring people who respond to me. Jos your response about not thinking ahead and just trying to get through the day calmed me down.Today I woke up and my husband had told me that all the research I was doing was not what he wanted and he only wanted one page summaries. I felt upset, I felt stupid and then I felt that he hadn't e planned this clearly when we initially spoke about it.So he goes off to work thinking ill probably get it done "the right" way today. Then my children get up for school and I have no energy or ability to make lunches etc so was going to let them stay home.Usually they would love that-but today they got themselves ready and left, angry that I'd given them money for lunch instead of me personally making it. Petty things in the scheme of life. But I sat down and felt completely overwhelmed and unable to function or do anything.There is still so much mail & washing etc & all the things I'd usually do -today I just closed the blinds and cried and felt like I can't live with this struggle anymore. My husband says it stresses him out & he worries his leukaemia will come back, he just finds it frustrating. I sent him a msg saying "I need to tell you that I'm not well, I feel close to breakdown, I can't function and I'd probably go to hospital if I could". Haven't heard from him.I'm disillusioned that I'm defined as "treatment resistant" and been on so many medications. I was upset when I applied for a online self help short course by Mindspot and a psychologist phoned me and said my scores were too high and I needed to see somone rather than do a course (despite the fact I do see a psychiatrist).And yesterday I had applied for a research program at CRUFAD where half of the participants were to read a self-help book and the other half were to do a self-help online course. The aim was to determine whether a book or a course was more effective. Nowhere on the application did it mention medication.So a researcher phones me and says my application is suitable and we just need to do a half hour chat on phone to discuss further details-so we do this-and then at the end when she's told me I'm successful-she says "oh one final question, are you on any medications?" -so I tell her yes, an antidepressant and then before I get out the word "an antipsychotic"-she interrupts me, quite distressed and says "oh I'm sorry I should of asked you that first-we can't proceed any further with your application"!!.I said to her nowhere did it state that taking medication was an issue, there was no question as to whether I took medication and why wait to the end of the interview to ask me if its a crucial factor in determining who is eligible? I also said to her that reading a self-help book or doing a short online course should not be affected by ruling out people who take medication.The book or the course could be beneficial to many people with depression and many people are on medication so I couldn't see how taking medication related to or impacted upon a participants involvement.Anyway that felt like another rejection. In the last two weeks I've isolated myself in the house I have done a lot of research on self-help program's etc. trying to help myself. I read a lot about a type called ACT-it's an acceptance approach to mental illness, depression in particular and seems to involve accepting ones illness rather than struggling against it and then committing ti changing the things you can.It's based on "Mindfulness" and seems to have strong elements of Buddhist theory informing it. I now need to try find a therapist in Sydney. This has been my biggest hurdle-finding a good mental health practitioner.I only have my pyschiatrist who does not provide therapy but simply asks each time I see here what's been happening in life in general and then discusses scripts and medication. I've been seeing her for 6 years-my fault really for not having the courage to try a different one.I only see her every few months and the state I'm in I really need intensive support so I guess I should do something useful today and at least look into therapists.I feel immobilised by depression; I feel as though a monster has invaded my mind and taken over my thoughts and ability to function effectively. I feel so so low. I can't face the world, I feel I can't even leave the house or answer phone calls.I've worn the same clothes all week and can't believe how difficult I'm finding it to do anything. I'm also frightened by my thoughts and the feeling that I've lost control over them.I'm extremely anxious around my husband and kids as I know my husband is so frustrated and feels pressured to manage his job and then come home to find I've forgotten to organise anything for dinner; there are 3 baskets of washing that have stayed downstairs all week when I should of folded the clothes and put them away.He can also see the mounting pile of papers and mail and has said he has had enough of things being difficult and wants an easier life. I feel so so guilty about this as he has survived leukaemia and should be having a good life-not affected by my depression and my inability at times to do all the housework and cooking etc.I feel I am a hopeless case, I am consumed by guilt and fear. I hate myself so much. I used to be the strongest person. I've endured so much trauma in my life. And now I am a barely functioning person who is full of regret, despair, self hate as well as guilt and terror at the thought of how I will manage each day.I can't let my family down, I hate my current weakness, I dread what they must think of me. I just want to be able to do simple things like make the house nice, cook meals, organise events, get dressed each day, feel I'm managing responsibilities and making my family happy. But if today is any indication I'm failing at everything.I have the care and will to achieve things but I don't have the ability to do them as I'm immobilised, tears, scared and unable to almost move. It's like I really have been overtaken by a dark spirit who has taken all my strength and left me sitting immobilised in a chair where I can't move or do anything but cry and feel such deep shame and hopelessness.Where have I gone? Will I come back? I can't stand to live like this, it makes me feel as though ill become a burden and my family would be best without me. Just a very dark day and I'm so ashamed my husband sees me like this.Please I beg that I will come back and feel able to live and contribute to my family's happiness and take control of things again. I hate what I am today. So sorry...was desperate for someone to listen and maybe say something that might help.You are all my hope. M x

Mares73 Pls help-I have to "act normal" but I'm nowhere near it
  • replies: 4

My family has no understanding of mental illness apart from my husband telling me its all ok & why am I worried-to my mother saying get it together, the past is gone and you need to be grateful for what you've got. I am grateful. The difficulty is ha... View more

My family has no understanding of mental illness apart from my husband telling me its all ok & why am I worried-to my mother saying get it together, the past is gone and you need to be grateful for what you've got. I am grateful. The difficulty is having an illness surrounded by so much stigma and lack of support. The darkness is so consuming. I often think if I had a serious physical illness or impairment that people would go out of their way to help. But having depression-i feel treated as though I created the illness and its not even defined as an "illness" by so many people. My family see it as a weakness and my mothers only input is that perhaps I inherited my fathers genes. This is insulting as my father was a very abusive alcoholic who denied he had a problem and the guilt of the abuse I experienced as well S the lack of will to live eventuates in him chocking on his own vomit whilst intoxicated. I don't drink and I have a open, giving, caring personality compared to my father who was selfish in every way. I'm rambling. I guess I just needed to know someone cared about how I felt as I feel so emotional and overwhelmed. My husband has left me a huge pile of research he needs analysed and typed up today and I'm so so tired and don't know how to get through it. My mother wants to meet for coffee tomorrow as I've let her down twice and she says I need to get out of house as I basically haven't left it for over 2 weeks. She makes me anxious as she will meet me. Say hi then say her usual "come on we are going to have a good day, don't think or talk about how your feeling) and then we just walk around a shopping centre for few hours. It's getting so so hard to go out. I'm so low I just want to be locked away in the house. I'm afraid of everything and everyone. I don't know what to do. I know things I need to do are piling up and my tendency seems to hide in a book on an average day or sit in despair waiting for time to pass on others. I never ever believed this could happen to me. I had experienced so much trauma (as you can read in my earlier posts) yet for so long I was such a high achiever. I had senior management positions from the age of 25 and I commuted to work an hour each way to the centre of Sydney with my young children on the train who attended child care near my work. Then one day I realised I'd been crying all week and felt similar feelings to those I experienced after the birth of my daughter. I just quit work and have spend last 6 yrs battling my depression and anxiety as though it were a full time job. I'd really like to help other people so I'm hoping to find some volunteer work in mental health or cris areas. But unfortunately Beyond Blue doesn't need any volunteers, Lifeline requires potential volunteers to undertake an intensive program which is quite expensive and also involves intensive training and monitoring on top of the course. I was also considering retraining as a paramedic, emergency call operator, parole officer or something where I'd feel that I was making a positive contribution to society. There's also MissionBeat & places like the Wayside Chapel that I guess I could contact. I know rationally that my two biggest problems at the moment are 1) my fear, lack of motivation and vulnerability about leaving the house and 2) the follow on effect of isolation, loneliness & self hatred thoughts that result from being stuck with my own thoughts & lack of interaction with others. My biggest challenge right now is getting the courage & self esteem to leave the house (despite fears that others can see my vulnerability and judge me). Closely linked to this is that by leaving the house I also challenge my self hatred and isolation and may find that going out can be enjoyable which would challenge my sense of isolation and loneliness. The main issue is do I keep waiting to "feel ready" to go out or make contact with old friends or do I realise there will never be a "right time" and I just have to start to take action and stop thinking so much? I'm worried I'm putting myself in a darker place and maybe there are ways of thinking that are more helpful? I really feel trapped and alone with my thoughts. I would really be grateful for any suggestions as to how I can possibly help myself-especially given I have no other family, friends or medical support. Thanks for reading-I'm always so surprised that people even bother to read my posts. I don't feel worthy of support or taking anyone's time. So I can't explain how much it means to me when you respond. L e Mares

Luke_ Psychotherapist or Psychologist?
  • replies: 3

Hi all,I'm having some issues (clearly otherwise I'd not be here) and I'm sort of stuck on a merry go round at the moment and am hoping some thoughts or advice here might help.My story, and I'm sorry for the long post, I'll try to be as relevant and ... View more

Hi all,I'm having some issues (clearly otherwise I'd not be here) and I'm sort of stuck on a merry go round at the moment and am hoping some thoughts or advice here might help.My story, and I'm sorry for the long post, I'll try to be as relevant and brief as I can.I'm an ex Police officer, served for 12.5 years and I left the job 3 years ago. I'm married with two teenage children. My wife suffered PND after the birth of our second child, she only worked through that about 5 years ago (roughly 5 years on and off depression).My own problems became obvious about 2.5 years ago but my wife says Policing changed me drastically from the man she fell in love with long before that. My marriage has deteriorated to the point where it is little more than sharing a house with someone I know.There has been no intimacy of any kind (this includes holding hands or lying together watching a movie) for nearly a year, and things were on a steady slide for about the last 5 years.Things went bad so gradually that it's only now that I stop and look I realise that it may be too late to save. My wife claims to love me, yet we have no physical contact of any kind, and she is continually surprised that I have no self confidence, doesn't seem to understand my self image is rooted in her treatment of me...anyway that is a whole separate side issue.About 6 months after I left the Police I suffered a breakdown. My wife found me standing in the kitchen (the kids in the next room watching tv) just crying, I felt dead and completely detached from her, my life, from everything.I have some unresolved issues from my days with the Police, and after seeing a GP then Psychologist was diagnosed depressed, thought to be PTSD. I thought this was something that soldiers got, but the Psychologist pointed out that the things I was forced to deal with and see while Policing and the day to day stresses can have a cumulative effect, especially if I'm bottling them up and not dealing.I saw the Psych for about 12 - 14 months I think, then I ended up stopping. I mainly stopped because it was just me going to her office and talking, she didn't seem to offer any real suggestions or insights that I hadn't put forward myself. Maybe that's what's meant to happen I don't know, but while I felt better talking to someone, it ultimately didn't feel like I was moving forward. My life at home/work was fairly normal after this period, but still not moving forward and things with my wife slowly deteriorated again. We have a routine where we will fight, ignore each other for 2-3 days, then slowly we will start to be civil to each other then just at the point where we might be able to have a normal conversation we fight and the cycle starts again. Roughly once a month or so. This has been the pattern for quite a few years, at least 4.Right now I'm depressed again, I know I am and I know that I need help again. Which brings me to my question I guess. I saw a psychologist before and while talking did help I feel it was ultimately too passive.I met a Psychotherapist through work last year and she was completely the opposite, she seemed very intuitive and I felt her style of counselling would gel very well with me, I tend to respond much better to someone who can offer insight and be more active in engaging me. I do have some concerns though as this counsellor is talking about EFT and NLP as forms of treatment, and a quick google around on the net shows that both those treatments are largely discredited by the medical fraternity. While I'm willing to ignore that based on a good connection with the therapist, I don't want to throw away large amounts of money if the treatment has no chance of success.The other bad thing is that she can't register as her therapy is not recognised as medical, hence no medicare or health fund rebates, which makes it very expensive.Does anyone have experience with these types of therapy or Existential based treatements? I'd be very interested in other peoples experiences. Thanks for reading this far, so sorry for such a long post.

venusfever It's hard to tell, am I depressed?
  • replies: 12

Hardly remember when these all started, I wasn't myself anymore as told by my husband. I am miserable, bad temper, rude and lazy, that he keeps complaining me and we argued a lot in the past couple of years. According to him, I was a cheerful, positi... View more

Hardly remember when these all started, I wasn't myself anymore as told by my husband. I am miserable, bad temper, rude and lazy, that he keeps complaining me and we argued a lot in the past couple of years. According to him, I was a cheerful, positive and always taking care of the family well, most importantly never bad-mouth about anything and were soft and gentle. I just can't help myself, whenever he complained, I break down in tears and just couldn't stop blaming myself for everything. I feel tire everyday, couldn't really enjoy anything in life and getting to hate myself so much that I can't even get my job done properly. Although my little 3 years old someone become the only source to cheer me up sometimes, I still couldn't speak it up to my husband nor my close friend about my emotional problem. Don't think my husband will care and listen after all. This morning I nearly run into a crash on my way to work, very close missed, don't know how that could happened but I still don't feel like talking to anyone about it. In fact, I have told my husband to leave me a lone and stop talking to me for over 2 weeks now. After the incident this morning, I realized I should have go to see my GP about my emotional issues, but I'm really not sure if I couldn't tell her anything..I found it very hard to tell, and whenever I tried to tell my close friend or husband, I found myself hard to breath and rather stay away alone. Really not sure if I am depressed, or just need to find a way to express my feeling. But I really don't know how, and really dislike what I am now. Can anyone suggest how I could get this over and back to my old-self?

diadine needing someone to talk to
  • replies: 2

sometimes i think im fine for a while but then quite suddenly i feel as if everything has come crashing down on top of me and i have these huge depressive episodes where i just bawl my eyes out and re-live every bad thing that has happened to me. i t... View more

sometimes i think im fine for a while but then quite suddenly i feel as if everything has come crashing down on top of me and i have these huge depressive episodes where i just bawl my eyes out and re-live every bad thing that has happened to me. i try and try to calm down and be positive but this is one of the times where i cant stop feeling like im breaking apart. i desperately need someone to talk to me

Yoli Bored, bored, bored
  • replies: 4

Hi all I would like some feedback... I have been suffering with depression and anxiety over the last 3 years, recently however, I am feeling very very bored, so bored that my body hurts. Can anyone please tell me if this is a symptom of depression? o... View more

Hi all I would like some feedback... I have been suffering with depression and anxiety over the last 3 years, recently however, I am feeling very very bored, so bored that my body hurts. Can anyone please tell me if this is a symptom of depression? or is there something else is going on here??... apologies for the silly questions... Yoli

PrettyKitty85 Having off day today - advice and suggestions are welcome!
  • replies: 1

Hey Everyone, I have been battling depression for approximately 6 months and have been taking medications around the same time. I have to admit I am handling things OK but there are some days where I wish I didn't get out of bed and just feel like ut... View more

Hey Everyone, I have been battling depression for approximately 6 months and have been taking medications around the same time. I have to admit I am handling things OK but there are some days where I wish I didn't get out of bed and just feel like utter crap. Today was one of those days, unfortunately one of the common side effects of my anti-depressants is nausea and dizzy spells and I spent most of the morning sitting down on the kitchen floor trying to stop the room from spinning. I had to call in sick at work today which is another downer because it's a new job who is aware of my condition but it's a place I really love going to but when I have these days, it's really hard to deal with people in general and I just feel like a complete burden to everyone around me. I am happily married and have been for 4 years and my husband is amazing supportive man, however there are some days where I wish he could come home to a normal happy wife instead of having to dry my tears and nurse me back to bed. Like most people suffering from a mental illness, I am taking anti-depressants, going to a counselling session once a week which is helping but I often wish I could just go back to being happy without the medication. My parents are worried about me and have suggested for me to stop the medication and see if it makes me any better but I don't think that's going to help me one bit. Does anyone have any moments where you wish you could go back to being normal without the medication? I do all the time. I understand depression is something that takes a while to overcome but I am really just over taking the tablets. I have tried getting into fitness and healthy eating but when I have bad days, I comfort eat like you wouldn't believe. I am overweight for my age and height and as a 28 year old woman who is constantly surrounded by girls who are tiny and are just perfect in every way, I feel so inferior and not confident at all. One of the things that is on my mind at the moment is I have a friend's wedding to attend this weekend where it's going to involve a lot of old friends we don't really associate with anymore because one of them decided to pick on me for no reason and made me feel like the size of a thumb tack and unfortunately for her, I don't take too nicely when people make me feel that way. So I snapped at her at a friend's wedding a few years back and have now caused the circle of friends to completely exclude us (including my husband who they were friends with first) just over that one incident. I am really nervous about going to this wedding and seeing that girl and I don't know how I am cope with things. I get nervous whenever I see that group of friends and I am really worried about how I am going to feel when I have to be in the vicinity as these people that make me feel so horrible. If anyone has any suggestions on how to cope with it, please let me know. I am all ears!!

Teddas One step forward, 3 back
  • replies: 1

Every time l start feel to feel a bit "normal" some stupid little thing happens and the whole world caves in on me. I dont just end up back where l started but further back than that. I cant stop negative thoughts coming in as much as l really try. I... View more

Every time l start feel to feel a bit "normal" some stupid little thing happens and the whole world caves in on me. I dont just end up back where l started but further back than that. I cant stop negative thoughts coming in as much as l really try. I can only think of one way to stop hearing all these thoughts but until that is my only option l will keep fighting on but could really do with some help PLEASE !!!

jodes76 So not coping
  • replies: 4

Everything has gone wrong this year. I really don't know what to do. So many things I want to get off my chest but at same time I'm too scared of the outcome. Feel like I'm falling further down than ever, not sure if I want to climb back up View more

Everything has gone wrong this year. I really don't know what to do. So many things I want to get off my chest but at same time I'm too scared of the outcome. Feel like I'm falling further down than ever, not sure if I want to climb back up