Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

All discussions

Princess "Help me if you can... I'm feeling down"
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It's been a while. Every morning I wake up with my stomach in knots and I even wake up during the night like I want to be sick. Eventually I get the courage to put one foot in front of the other and attempt to face the day. By the time I make it into... View more

It's been a while. Every morning I wake up with my stomach in knots and I even wake up during the night like I want to be sick. Eventually I get the courage to put one foot in front of the other and attempt to face the day. By the time I make it into work I feel overwhelmed and like I can't do my job. I always seem to be on edge. I've been reading a book about CBT and I find it quite helpful at that moment but then by the next day, whatever I've read is out the window and my feeling of downness returns. I have a super supportive husband and he is so encouraging and I feel like I'm really letting him down by being this way. Not sure what he did to deserve me, but I am grateful he is my partner in life. Not even sure why I wrote this .... just wanted to get it off my chest I suppose.

Lou I Just want to run away but there is nowhere
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I am so tired, so sad, so fed up. I just want to go away. I want to find a retreat where I can talk to someone who can help. I am feeling so unloved and cared for. I can't keep this up. I have pulled back from all my friends and have no-one. No one w... View more

I am so tired, so sad, so fed up. I just want to go away. I want to find a retreat where I can talk to someone who can help. I am feeling so unloved and cared for. I can't keep this up. I have pulled back from all my friends and have no-one. No one wants to know about it any more. It is not my fault I am soooo down. You have no idea how close I have come to not being here. I am so stuck I don't know what to do. My doctor has been changing my meds and I am seeing a physc tomorrow. I know everyone will say hang in there. Give the meds a chance but I am over it. I have been suffering depression for 40 years now and I am sick of being sick. Sick of no-one understanding. Here we go again and again and again. I don't want to be like this and there is nowhere to go. I need 24/7 at the moment. Physc ward doesn't want me. I'm sad not mad. Why isn't there somewhere we can go and stay and get help without it being a physc ward. That's not the right place when you are down. I don't know where to go from here.

zolaranium I just need to let it out
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I'm not expecting anyone to read this, and not needing anyone to reply. I see a professional, I take my medication, I just really need a safe, anonymous place to let my feelings out. Here goes. I'm 36. I've been battling depression since I was 15, an... View more

I'm not expecting anyone to read this, and not needing anyone to reply. I see a professional, I take my medication, I just really need a safe, anonymous place to let my feelings out. Here goes. I'm 36. I've been battling depression since I was 15, and I think it's winning. I don't have any horrible stories, or shocking childhood events behind my depression, it's just always been there. I met my husband when I was 19, married at 24, and now we have 4 beautiful kids. And it's not enough to stop me from wanting to not exist. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to get dressed. I don't want to make meals, or do the washing, or clean the house. I just want to not wake up in the morning. I've been to several doctors. I've been on several medications - to the point where my current Dr has recommended I never go off them again. And it's just not working. I hate myself and I don't see that I'm worth putting any effort into. I don't understand what my friends possibly see in me that is worth liking. I'm the most useless mother on the planet, and I honestly feel sorry for my kids that they got stuck with me. My marriage is not great. I feel like my husband would rather be anywhere than here - and that must be my fault. I'm not good enough. And I get so angry with him - he's always working, he doesn't help me with any of the household chores, if I ask him to do something, his answer is always "sure" and then he never does it, and now I find myself not even bothering to ask for his help and then resenting him for making me do it all on my own. My ways of dealing with my feelings are eating, drinking and self harm - and I pretend to everyone else that I'm ok because I don't believe that they actually want to hear any of my problems. I think a lot about killing myself, but I know I'd never have the guts. I have some hobbies that, at times, I really enjoy doing, but then I look at the results and they are so rubbish that I wonder why I bothered in the first place. I just feel that everyone in my life would be better off without me - I wouldn't be screwing up my kids lives, my husband wouldn't have to put up with me, my friends would be able to spend time with others and not have to baby me and my stupid meltdowns. There is not one positive, useful thing I contribute...so honestly, what is the point of me?? I'm taking up valuable air and space and resources.. and I should just not.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

daisy_rose I'm scared of being sick
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Hello everyone, this is my first time posting and it's really my first step towards actually trying to get help.When I was 15 I went to see a councillor butI was scared of being told I was crazy so I lied about how I felt. Then I saw a psychologist w... View more

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting and it's really my first step towards actually trying to get help.When I was 15 I went to see a councillor butI was scared of being told I was crazy so I lied about how I felt. Then I saw a psychologist when I was 17 and when I got there I started to leave out a lot of things, like when she asked if I ever had suicidal thoughts I just said no, even though I think about killing myself every day. I was, and am, just so scared of being told there is something wrong with me. Then early last year I tried again to get help. I was open with my psychologist, she told me I had depression and anxiety but after every session I would go home and hurt myself because I felt like such a loser, so I stopped going. I just so desperately want to wake up tomorrow and stop feeling and thinking these things. I think each day that passes I feel myself getting worse and worse.. I'm starting to go into hazes where I don't even feel like I exist and I feel like I can't move my body. I know I have to get help but I' m scared of it all being real. I want to stop feeling these things, and I want to feel normal. I realise now that I'll never just wake up and all this be gone, so I know I have to get help. I wanted to ask if anyone has any advice on how I should go about seeking help? And also does anyone have advice on how to deal with being diagnosed, because I am worried that getting a proper diagnoses will make me break and scare me away again. Thank you

jsp2014 a little stuck: a particular thought that won't go away
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I have been depressed for about 3 and a half years now and was just recently put on to antidepressants. Overall they have helped a lot by removing most of my depressing thoughts but one has remained and I think about it everyday which is driving me c... View more

I have been depressed for about 3 and a half years now and was just recently put on to antidepressants. Overall they have helped a lot by removing most of my depressing thoughts but one has remained and I think about it everyday which is driving me crazy. However i don’t want to completely get rid of it because while it is one of my saddest memories it was also a part of the happiest time in my life. Im not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

Hadenough Unsure what to do: losing a friendship to depression?
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Morning, I have struggled with depression for the last couple of years, I was able to recognise that there was something wrong pretty quickly and sort help from my GP, who put me through a mental health plan, put me on medication & recommended a phys... View more

Morning, I have struggled with depression for the last couple of years, I was able to recognise that there was something wrong pretty quickly and sort help from my GP, who put me through a mental health plan, put me on medication & recommended a physc, which I was a little reluctant to go to so put it off for ages. The first lot of medication recommended by my GP worked for a little while but got to the point where we had reached the maximum dosage for that brand, so changed medication, which seems to be helping but still a very high dose apparently. It's a funny thing depression, I'm one of these depressed people that people would have no clue I suffer from it.. Before I was diagnosed I had a group of people that I loved going out with at the end of the working week & having a quite drink or ten with to unwind, but when I was diagnosed I felt I needed to give up the drinking, so that I had control of at least a little of my thoughts, but in giving away the drinking I also lost those friendships, which shattered me at the time & of course added to the depression. I chose not to tell a lot of people about the depression cause that wasn't who I was, but the one friend whom I did choose to tell was a very new friend, but made me feel comfortable enough to talk with her & throughout the last couple of years has been a constant support to me, we've had some great conversations, I'm not generally a talker, to the point where I was surprised she hadn't given up on me, well I think that time has finally come & I'm not quite sure how to handle it. She was the type of friend that would contact me every couple of days to see how I was going, even when on holidays & I loved that, it made me feel good. The last lot of holidays, I didn't hear from her as I normally would so thought that I would ask why, couldn't quite get a straight answer or maybe the truth & this really frustrated me, it frustrated me to the point that I got quite upset & said things I wouldn't normally say, not nasty things but things that seemed true to me..I felt the rules had been changed & somebody forgot to tell me. Of course there's a lot more that goes with this story but you can only type so much. This is a friendship I DO NOT want to loose. Its a very true friendship to me because it wasn't built on drunken conversation as my past ones were..if it's over I'll be absolutely shattered.......How do I fix this??

applesapples Just need to get it out of my head...
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Hi, I am 34 years old this year. I've suffered from depression since I was a teenager. I found a spiritual practice when I was 20 which pulled me out of drags and gave me a lot of happiness, but in an effort to prove how much I had mended my ways, I ... View more

Hi, I am 34 years old this year. I've suffered from depression since I was a teenager. I found a spiritual practice when I was 20 which pulled me out of drags and gave me a lot of happiness, but in an effort to prove how much I had mended my ways, I rushed into marriage and had a child at 23. Even before my child was born, I knew I didn't really love my husband and wanted to leave, but I am so disappointed in the lack of commitment to marriage across the society that I vowed I could make it work, rich or poor etc. The main issue is that my husband and I have nothing in common and I couldn't even call him a friend, even though he's a good person. I keep trying to hold it together, especially after hearing all the terrible stories of children who face divorce, and having been through suicidal depression during my own teenage years, I don't want to do anything to harm my son. At the same time, my life is slipping away... I can't bring myself to have sex with my husband in order to have another child, even though I've tried to convince myself to 3-4 times in the past 11 years. It pains me so much that my son doesn't have a sibling, and that I will never have another child, yet to bring another child into our family is just a shame anyway. My husband doesn't understand how serious it is for me. He's really really slow, he can barely read or write, and I'm too sharp to the point where nothing is simple. We now live overseas, but my family are still in Australia. When I'm away from him and go back to my parents, I feel like I'm myself again and I don't even want to remember that he exists. I feel homesick constantly and always dream of my teenage years... like I'm still stuck there. All these years of life don't exist in my subconscious mind. I've barely ever even dreamed of my son. I just want my mum and dad like a little child. I have no confidence in my husband whatsoever, and because I have never done anything myself, and have spent most of these years alone at home without a car, I don't even know how to live a life, or what I like, I don't know the feeling of achieving anything, and I've lost all motivation to put my heart and soul into anything. I feel like a psychological prisoner and I just can't normalize. It doesn't change year after year. I'm considering going home for a year, but because I've been depressed for so long - more than 2/3 of my life... I just don't know if it's how I am and if it will ever change. And that's my character limit.

CeeBee Feel there is no hope, no future
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I've been feeling so low for so long. The thought that I'm only half way through this cliched life is like a brick around my neck.I've been to doctors, one said "I'm depressed, you're depressed, we're all depressed" She basically told me to get over ... View more

I've been feeling so low for so long. The thought that I'm only half way through this cliched life is like a brick around my neck.I've been to doctors, one said "I'm depressed, you're depressed, we're all depressed" She basically told me to get over myself. Then I saw some supposed top notch psychologist and he too said I wasn't depressed but just had bad family using me up. I sob myself to sleep every night, I am filling with more and more hate and anger. . I feel like the outside version of me everyone is seeing is getting further and further from the real me. The one I must keep secret. My family are trying to help I guess, but whenever they contact me I just feel even worse after. I feel they judge me. They really don't need to, my self loathing conversations in front of the mirror far outweigh what they could come up with. I read to do this mirror thing, as a positive thing, say loving things to yourself. But I tried and discovered I just couldn't say anything nice.I get overwhelmed with such hatred at that thing looking back, that horrid ugly unlovable blob.I'm living in a pigsty, day after day I'm determined to clean up my mess... tomorrow. But I don't, instead I just eat.There is not an ounce of anything to look forward to. I'm getting deeper and deeper in this pit and I can't get out.I'm sorry to be a self-pitying pathetic whinger, I don't see what typing this can do, but the typing it has actually helped a little.

Choib I need real help, advise and a shoulder
  • replies: 50

Hi. Ivehit rock bottom, I mean really rock bottom with Depression and anxiety and no life because of it. Im a male, turning 40 in a few months which I suspect its the big wake up call about all the problems I have to face and its overwhelming. Im rea... View more

Hi. Ivehit rock bottom, I mean really rock bottom with Depression and anxiety and no life because of it. Im a male, turning 40 in a few months which I suspect its the big wake up call about all the problems I have to face and its overwhelming. Im really going through a serious breakdown and Im so so alone and unable to see what to do next, a life or future. A bit of backstory to show the major points of how I got here and struggling every hour to hold it together. Undiagnosed with GAD, male, Australian growing up was hell, anxiety attacks at school everyday, bullied ofc, extreme difficulty's making friends and a broken home all came crashing in my first real mental breakdown at 17. My father threw me out and I got on a plane in a broken haze to move in with my grandmother from perth to melbourne in 93. My life was destroyed from that point on and I fell into hiding, self blame ever since and cut myself off from family since. Instead of living a full life in my 20s and 30 Ive been here, under her protection as she is a widower and needed someone so.. this life has been just that, hiding, doing as little as I can to get by from fear. I watched friends I made in school grow up, meet girls, get married, have kids and get jobs and careers and I looked on in awe. But when they did have the family unit I started pushing away, cause I didnt want them to see the real me. Ive no career training or real abilities I can use to get work, all my tafe and further education I put myself in are now all redundant. The only Time I did work professionally was as a webmaster in advertising for 2 years but that was horrific, the stress broke me again and they had to fire me. I didnt recover from that. that was about 5 years ago, and trying to stay on centerlink has been hell cause they dont understand or recognize they real help I need. My grandmothers 88 and shes so worried and there might not be much time left, my mom is on dialysis 3 times a week and doesnt have long either and I couldn't cope alone, even getting income, facing death again after losing a friend and girlfriend overseas last year Im just.. broken. Failed to begin a life. hitting 40, realizing ive been hording and hiding so so long and a dozen other serious problems hitting me all at once. So I saw my GP yesterday and got onto antidepressants again, I have a referral to a physiologist but.. I dont think thats going to be near enough. I need.. advise.. help.. no family or real friends left to rely on.

Jazzy07 Feeling withdrawn
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Hi, just wondering what people think is best. When you feel anti social and don't want to leave the house / go out etc (just socially I still go to work every day without issue) is it best to push through and 'force' yourself to go? Or is it ok to al... View more

Hi, just wondering what people think is best. When you feel anti social and don't want to leave the house / go out etc (just socially I still go to work every day without issue) is it best to push through and 'force' yourself to go? Or is it ok to allow yourself to retreat and hide for a while? Im not sure if allowing yourself to withdraw will make it worse and create a bigger problem. If u hide for a while is it harder to come back out?