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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Tummy40 Almost done. Struggling big time.
  • replies: 4

Hi. This is a first for me and it's not something I usually do. I normally just read other people's comments and compare them to myself and then try and take some comfort in the replies they get back. My story is that I work as a geologist and I've j... View more

Hi. This is a first for me and it's not something I usually do. I normally just read other people's comments and compare them to myself and then try and take some comfort in the replies they get back. My story is that I work as a geologist and I've just been let go again. The industry at the moment is so bad. I don't look like getting another job for a long time and I'm not even sure I want one. I am always working in remote locations and constantly alone. I am now 43 and I didn't mind doing it when I was a younger fella. I just feel like I am done. I've had enough. I made the wrong choice to get into this industry because it has taken me away from everybody that I love and it is also so volatile. People are so easily discarded. I know, you are probably thinking blah, blah, blah. i know I'm depressed. Have been taking medication for 10yrs. I've just started drinking heavily again since I got my notice from work. Got up this morning and drank half a bottle of bourbon then went to work. In a taxi, I wouldn't drive when I'm like this. I just can't focus on anything. I have no joy or fun in my soul like I use to. Nothing seems like it will help. I don't even think my meds help anymore. I really need help because I don't know if I will be around much longer if I don't get some. Please, anyone.

MaryG Update
  • replies: 4

So haven't been on here for a while. Seems there are some changes to the site to speed things up. That has to be a good thing. When I am desperate it helps to know that someone else out there is listening and takes the time to respond. If that post d... View more

So haven't been on here for a while. Seems there are some changes to the site to speed things up. That has to be a good thing. When I am desperate it helps to know that someone else out there is listening and takes the time to respond. If that post doesn't appear till a day later it's kind of too late. It is day 10 of medication today for me. I am still not drinking and haven't had any more setbacks there. I have had a couple of social evenings and I felt ok just having tonic water while everyone else was drinking wine. I feel that they are not drinking as much as they would normally with me (maybe I was a bad influence on them, and we'll all be better off for my abstinence) The medication has taken the edge off the anxiety a little although I really don't know what I'm feeling at the moment. It's a bit all over the place. Am I anxious or depressed or hyper. I don't know. I am trying to do my mindfulness meditation daily to help me learn to deal with and defuse unhelpful thoughts. The psychologist is helping me work through this stage of treatment. Other than that it's just day by day. I realise now that this is going to take some time and I will not feel better for a while yet. I am very lucky that I have an amazing supportive husband and my GP is the best. I don't have that many friends, I have gradually pushed them all away over the years not letting anyone get too close or else they might find out the truth. But the couple that I have are also very understanding and supportive. So anyway, I'm getting there, wherever there is, slowly but at least with some purpose and hope now. Mary

atlas88 Wanting to seek help but can't talk about it?
  • replies: 2

How many people want help, but just find it so difficult to openly say it all? I used to be open, but after having so many negative experiences with friends, with people in general..I've just bottled it all up because that way people won't be able to... View more

How many people want help, but just find it so difficult to openly say it all? I used to be open, but after having so many negative experiences with friends, with people in general..I've just bottled it all up because that way people won't be able to hurt you. I've just found it so incredibly difficult to cope, to even bother waking up when all I can think is "what's the use?" What worries me is that last year I idly began thinking of suicide, and now this year I've been a lot more serious about it, but a big part of me doesn't want to do it, just that I see no other way out, and I don't want to get to next year to find that I'm ready. Why do people have to be so mean and nasty? Especially those who claim to be your friends? I've always been there for my friends, always dropping everything for them, and now they've all turned their backs on me. Why do they have to be so critical of you, when you accept them the way they are? Worst of all are your own family, the people you expect to treat you right. I've become emotionally and financially spent thanks to my parents and older sibling (the whole story has been going on for 8 years). My parents divorced a few years ago, my older sibling left the house, and I was left with my emotionally unstable mother who would break down and cry every few days, have another one of her break downs...and all the while I'm working trying to support her financially (can't find a stable job, plus is very unresponsible financially) and emotionally, and now I'm $11 000 in debt, feeling so incredibly drained mentally and emotionally. I went to a counsellor at my uni to talk about it, but I barely scratched the surface...I just couldn't openly reveal how I was really feeling. On top of it all, I'm struggling with uni, work part-time at a job I hate, where I experience bullying, and come home to my mum who criticises me for not doing enough with my life. I want to cry, but I just can't. I'll force myself so much, but I can't get anything out, I've become that numb. It feels like I'm in a prison, and I see only one way out but I know that I don't want to take that path. I just don't know how I can get my own life going when I have these 2 anchors around me: my mum and that massive debt, which will take me 4 and a half years to pay off at my current rate. It's the apathy, the numbness that gets to me most, the fact that I feel so helpless in trying to do anything. What do I do?

auntymoo I don't know what to do, basically I am a mess
  • replies: 2

It wasn't until last night that I actually admitted I had a problem and that I need to get help. This post may be a little all over the place because I have so much going on, I just don't know what to do! I am sad...all.the.time I should be happy. I ... View more

It wasn't until last night that I actually admitted I had a problem and that I need to get help. This post may be a little all over the place because I have so much going on, I just don't know what to do! I am sad...all.the.time I should be happy. I am loved. I have 3 beautiful children. I have a beautiful guy who loves me to the end of the earth. Unfortunately he suffers from depression and I don't know what to do to help him. He has some awful circumstances going on which has affected his mental state badly in the past few weeks. He is pushing me away, but tells me he needs me more than ever. I don't know what to do! We have one of those beautiful once in a lifetimes loves and it hurts me so much that he is going through such sorrow and there is nothing we can do to stop what it happening. His ex is moving away and taking his beautiful little girl with her. It is so sad, he is a truly wonderful dad who does not deserve this. Then there are my own problems. A year ago my husband of 20 years left me, I'm over it but not over it. It doesn't help that he wants me back, and looks at me with those eyes every time I see him which is a lot. We have equal share of the kids so I see him every few days. I have moved on, he has not. He realised once it was too late. All I can feel is sad for him. I am struggling with everyday tasks. I work full time. I am at uni. I get little or no study done because everything is bogging me down. All I see is the stuff I should be doing, I procrastinate big time and get nothing done! I am well respected at my work, I get my job done. But at home nothing gets done and I have a nap instead. Then I am disappointed at the end of each day because I have accomplished nothing. I stick my head in the sand. I am the most organised disorganised person you would ever meet. To the outside world I have my **** together, if only they knew. I get nothing done! I jump from job to job without finishing the first job, I do a little bit of each and never finish anything. I feel sad, overwhelmed, helpless and a complete fraud.

Bee63 I've never spoken about this to anyone.
  • replies: 4

I've never spoken to anyone about this really so I'm sorry if it's very disorganised lol. I'd appreciate any comments, feedback or advice you have because I really need an outsiders view so please feel free I'm 18 and just finishing my HSC. I am not ... View more

I've never spoken to anyone about this really so I'm sorry if it's very disorganised lol. I'd appreciate any comments, feedback or advice you have because I really need an outsiders view so please feel free I'm 18 and just finishing my HSC. I am not by any means a positive thinker, it's a very bad habit I have and probably one of my problems lol. When I do try to think positive I feel like I'm fooling myself, too me it's easier when you think the worst because then you're not let down as much. Lately I also have very low self confidence. This is something I really hate because when I was 14-16 I did have a lot more confidence and felt much better about myself. But now I really hate my appearance.. I feel too fat, I'm pale, my legs are very ugly because I have slight discolouration in certain areas, my nose is huge & my hair is terrible. I look around at the other girls and they all seem so perfect and get heaps of attention from other guys.. and I know I'm in a relationship but it would still be nice to be found attractive. I know I'm probably wrong, but I swear my boyfriend is much less attracted to me now then what he was also and because I feel so ugly, it's hard for me to feel sexy so we barely ever have sex anymore. It really worries me because I don't want him to look elsewhere. Also I feel a lot like I drag him down.. like me being a part of his life makes his life dull and boring. Whenever I try to talk to him about that he always tells me I'm "being silly" or he feels like I'm trying to make him feel bad. I have no idea what to do about that so I'm open to ideas. Also I have only recently moved away from my home town and all my friends, and the friends I have made here live a half hour away so I definitely feel very alone and isolated. I have no family here apart from the ones I live with, and although I love them, I can't stand to be around them anymore. I feel like my mum and her boyfriend make stupid decisions.. neither of them work and they come up with every excuse in the book for this. When I leave home they will lose the child support from my father, the board from my boyfriend and will still have 3 small kids to look after. I feel like since meeting my step dad my mum has cut off the rest of the family which particularly bothers me. I don't really know what is wrong with me.. I guess I could say I have depression. I'm not particularly suicidal but there are days where I honestly feel like I'm not going to go anywhere in life, and sometimes I don't see the point of wanting to live for another 70 odd years if I'm stuck with a low income, miserable life. I'm not saying people would be happy if I croaked, I know they would be very depressed and upset, but I think their lives would be more enjoyable in the long run I guess. I don't know... things are just becoming increasingly worse and I don't really have anyone to talk to about it all which is why I decided to post this.. I don't like being stuck with my thoughts sometimes.

connor56 Need some advice
  • replies: 1

I have for a while suspected that my partner has some form of mental illness. The simpliest way to explain, her emotions control who she is and everything she does. She has openly admitted to me that she relies on me and that without me she couldnt c... View more

I have for a while suspected that my partner has some form of mental illness. The simpliest way to explain, her emotions control who she is and everything she does. She has openly admitted to me that she relies on me and that without me she couldnt cope. I suppose we are the complete opposites, I base my decisions and opinions on the facts etc she bases hers on how she feels at the time. She is extremely insecure, afraid shes not good enough for me, afraid that im going to leave regardless of how much I express the way i feel about her. Occassionally I admit i do lose my patience with her and the situation Things are that bad that my friends and family won't have anything to do with me while i'm with her, eg if i want to catch up with friends and family i have to do it myself. The tipping point for me is that we are expecting our first child and as someone who grew up in an abusive home i wish to give my kid the life i never had. The way things are currently i don't see that happening. I have attempted to talk about this with her however i have had little success. I can handle her and how she is, i believe if you truly love someone you take the bad with the good but i really dont want our child to have to. She is miserable 90% of the time and it breaks my heart. All i want is for her to be happy but i have no idea how or what to do, I know that there isn't a quick fix, however I would appreciate some advice from people who have been in similar situations and have got through it.

orlypops Rock bottom
  • replies: 8

Hi all, This is my first post and desperation and utter despair brought me here. I am 31 years old and I have been living in Australia 2 and a half years. I work in the health profession and I am oncall 5 days a week , 24 hours a day. I live in a sha... View more

Hi all, This is my first post and desperation and utter despair brought me here. I am 31 years old and I have been living in Australia 2 and a half years. I work in the health profession and I am oncall 5 days a week , 24 hours a day. I live in a shared house with some nice girls. Basically I feel overwhelmed by depression and sadness. I cry every single day. Multiple times a day. I feel very lonely. I have friends but feel like I lack a tight knit support network or even one friend that is close enough to share my feelings with. I think partly this comes with the territory of being new to a country. But I'm really feeling the loss of having a person to share my feelings with. My sadness seems to come hand in hand with binge eating. I have always been chunky but this past year Ive put on lots of kgs and I am properly fat. And I am getting fatter. And I feel like the eating and the sadness compound each other. I'd really like to meet someone but literally feel that this is impossible because I am so fat. 5 months ago I met a married man online that I started a relationship with. Initially I felt so happy that someone - anyone - acted like they found me desirable that I fell hook, line and sinker for him. The whole relationship is actually a total emotional roller coaster and aside from the obvious reason as to why its not good, he's literally toying with my emotions. And I'm stuck. Because he's the only person in my life that shows me any affection and I cant give it up, no matter how much he makes me cry at other times. My head is screaming LET HIM GO but then I just feel so lonely and broken I cant cope. My relationship with my parents in the UK is sporadic at best. They are both fully embroiled in mid life crisis's themselves and contact me rarely. My Dad doesn't contact me at all. I have this innate feeling that there is no one in my life looking out for me. That if I stopped trying with people they'd all just forget me. And that belief makes me incredibly lonely. Ive been seeing a psychologist for a few months and although I love going to see her I feel that we are not actually tackling my problems. I feel like I'm just paying for someone to be my friend and listen to my woes. I keep thinking about medication. I desperately want to break out of this. I know I have to stop binge eating. I know I need to start using that gym membership Ive never ever used. I know that if I did that for 1 week I'd be well on my way. But..... I feel crippled. I cant seem to have that morning where I wake up and do what I need to do. Today was a day off and I have been in bed ALL DAY. Now i feel disgusting and useless and totally responsible for my own pathetic behavior. My internal dialogue is really negative. I can honestly say it didn't used to be this bad, but all day every day I think horrible things about myself. I can notice it but I cant stop it. I need help. I don't know where to begin. I don't have suicidal thoughts but I do think if God was to have the good grace to not wake me up in the morning that would be okay. Will antidepressants help me???

Incomprehensible I have no reason to be sad. Yet it consumes me.
  • replies: 2

I have everything that is supposed to make you happy. Everything is basically really good, and when bad things happen I don't mind, it's just another thing il get past it. I lost my job it annoys me and worries me, but not really... It's just an all ... View more

I have everything that is supposed to make you happy. Everything is basically really good, and when bad things happen I don't mind, it's just another thing il get past it. I lost my job it annoys me and worries me, but not really... It's just an all consuming sadness. I know how to make it fade, I have a whole process. But everyday it comes back and I find myself lying on the bed or floor just crying, I can't move it completely consumes me. Il lie there for hours just crying till there are no more tears but such complete emptiness. I just want to end it all. But then I start the process again, get up walk around have a bath, watch YouTube have a cigarette if those don't help have a shower and then it becomes background music again. A feeling in my heart, but not in my mind. I don't go out, I stare at my computer and don't get things done for class. But I'm supposed to be happy! I have a great partner a cute little house an adorable poodle/Maltese who adores me, I'm trying to succeed. Why am I so sad? When I should be so happy..

RonnieW Depression: Advice needed
  • replies: 3

Hi all. After many years of suffering from this damn depression and anxiety I have finally decided to get some help as it's ruined my life. I'm sure that a lot of you know what I'm talking about. The problem is I don't know where to start. What is th... View more

Hi all. After many years of suffering from this damn depression and anxiety I have finally decided to get some help as it's ruined my life. I'm sure that a lot of you know what I'm talking about. The problem is I don't know where to start. What is the process that some of you have gone through to get help? Do I first need to see my GP, or psychiatrist, or phycologist? I have no idea where to start. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

Dennis38 Have a problem I am not totaly sure if its a problem or if its me being a twit?
  • replies: 6

Ok so here is the question for all you lovely people out there, both guys and gals. Today I did something I have not done in a while and that is send my resume and CV in answer to a help wanted ad. But as I was writing up the CV and straighting out m... View more

Ok so here is the question for all you lovely people out there, both guys and gals. Today I did something I have not done in a while and that is send my resume and CV in answer to a help wanted ad. But as I was writing up the CV and straighting out my resume, I suddenly got this really tight feeling in my gut, stomach started to knot on me, started to get really nervous and very teary. I sent the CV and resume off despite all of this sudden gut churning emotional roller coaster and as it went out via email I started to really back slide into a bit of a depression. And I am honeslty not sure what the hell brought that on, nor is this the first time this has happened, and this is just sending the CV out, its not like I am going to an interview or anything. Was just sending out a letter basically! Even thinking about it now has me shivering a little and I am not sure why, if its dread, fear, or me just being a twit, now do keep in mind that I have not worked in 13 years thanks to being run over. I have two advance degrees, a BS in computer networking and a Masters of Information Systems and I am even going after an MBA with a consceintration in marketing, so I do know my stuff for when I am applying for a job. And of course I know that when and if I get yet another rejection letter that will cause me to do a tail spin into a depression, which of late I can kind of stop myself from going to deep, that and my wife and dog are a big help in that matter when I let them in. So any ideas of what the hell is going on and better yet how do I stop myself from sliding into the depression that shows up when I get a rejection email? Any ideas would be greatfully excepted!