Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
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Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
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I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
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Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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daisy_rose I'm scared of being sick
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Hello everyone, this is my first time posting and it's really my first step towards actually trying to get help.When I was 15 I went to see a councillor butI was scared of being told I was crazy so I lied about how I felt. Then I saw a psychologist w... View more

Hello everyone, this is my first time posting and it's really my first step towards actually trying to get help.When I was 15 I went to see a councillor butI was scared of being told I was crazy so I lied about how I felt. Then I saw a psychologist when I was 17 and when I got there I started to leave out a lot of things, like when she asked if I ever had suicidal thoughts I just said no, even though I think about killing myself every day. I was, and am, just so scared of being told there is something wrong with me. Then early last year I tried again to get help. I was open with my psychologist, she told me I had depression and anxiety but after every session I would go home and hurt myself because I felt like such a loser, so I stopped going. I just so desperately want to wake up tomorrow and stop feeling and thinking these things. I think each day that passes I feel myself getting worse and worse.. I'm starting to go into hazes where I don't even feel like I exist and I feel like I can't move my body. I know I have to get help but I' m scared of it all being real. I want to stop feeling these things, and I want to feel normal. I realise now that I'll never just wake up and all this be gone, so I know I have to get help. I wanted to ask if anyone has any advice on how I should go about seeking help? And also does anyone have advice on how to deal with being diagnosed, because I am worried that getting a proper diagnoses will make me break and scare me away again. Thank you

jsp2014 a little stuck: a particular thought that won't go away
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I have been depressed for about 3 and a half years now and was just recently put on to antidepressants. Overall they have helped a lot by removing most of my depressing thoughts but one has remained and I think about it everyday which is driving me c... View more

I have been depressed for about 3 and a half years now and was just recently put on to antidepressants. Overall they have helped a lot by removing most of my depressing thoughts but one has remained and I think about it everyday which is driving me crazy. However i don’t want to completely get rid of it because while it is one of my saddest memories it was also a part of the happiest time in my life. Im not sure what to do. Any thoughts?

Hadenough Unsure what to do: losing a friendship to depression?
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Morning, I have struggled with depression for the last couple of years, I was able to recognise that there was something wrong pretty quickly and sort help from my GP, who put me through a mental health plan, put me on medication & recommended a phys... View more

Morning, I have struggled with depression for the last couple of years, I was able to recognise that there was something wrong pretty quickly and sort help from my GP, who put me through a mental health plan, put me on medication & recommended a physc, which I was a little reluctant to go to so put it off for ages. The first lot of medication recommended by my GP worked for a little while but got to the point where we had reached the maximum dosage for that brand, so changed medication, which seems to be helping but still a very high dose apparently. It's a funny thing depression, I'm one of these depressed people that people would have no clue I suffer from it.. Before I was diagnosed I had a group of people that I loved going out with at the end of the working week & having a quite drink or ten with to unwind, but when I was diagnosed I felt I needed to give up the drinking, so that I had control of at least a little of my thoughts, but in giving away the drinking I also lost those friendships, which shattered me at the time & of course added to the depression. I chose not to tell a lot of people about the depression cause that wasn't who I was, but the one friend whom I did choose to tell was a very new friend, but made me feel comfortable enough to talk with her & throughout the last couple of years has been a constant support to me, we've had some great conversations, I'm not generally a talker, to the point where I was surprised she hadn't given up on me, well I think that time has finally come & I'm not quite sure how to handle it. She was the type of friend that would contact me every couple of days to see how I was going, even when on holidays & I loved that, it made me feel good. The last lot of holidays, I didn't hear from her as I normally would so thought that I would ask why, couldn't quite get a straight answer or maybe the truth & this really frustrated me, it frustrated me to the point that I got quite upset & said things I wouldn't normally say, not nasty things but things that seemed true to me..I felt the rules had been changed & somebody forgot to tell me. Of course there's a lot more that goes with this story but you can only type so much. This is a friendship I DO NOT want to loose. Its a very true friendship to me because it wasn't built on drunken conversation as my past ones were..if it's over I'll be absolutely shattered.......How do I fix this??

applesapples Just need to get it out of my head...
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Hi, I am 34 years old this year. I've suffered from depression since I was a teenager. I found a spiritual practice when I was 20 which pulled me out of drags and gave me a lot of happiness, but in an effort to prove how much I had mended my ways, I ... View more

Hi, I am 34 years old this year. I've suffered from depression since I was a teenager. I found a spiritual practice when I was 20 which pulled me out of drags and gave me a lot of happiness, but in an effort to prove how much I had mended my ways, I rushed into marriage and had a child at 23. Even before my child was born, I knew I didn't really love my husband and wanted to leave, but I am so disappointed in the lack of commitment to marriage across the society that I vowed I could make it work, rich or poor etc. The main issue is that my husband and I have nothing in common and I couldn't even call him a friend, even though he's a good person. I keep trying to hold it together, especially after hearing all the terrible stories of children who face divorce, and having been through suicidal depression during my own teenage years, I don't want to do anything to harm my son. At the same time, my life is slipping away... I can't bring myself to have sex with my husband in order to have another child, even though I've tried to convince myself to 3-4 times in the past 11 years. It pains me so much that my son doesn't have a sibling, and that I will never have another child, yet to bring another child into our family is just a shame anyway. My husband doesn't understand how serious it is for me. He's really really slow, he can barely read or write, and I'm too sharp to the point where nothing is simple. We now live overseas, but my family are still in Australia. When I'm away from him and go back to my parents, I feel like I'm myself again and I don't even want to remember that he exists. I feel homesick constantly and always dream of my teenage years... like I'm still stuck there. All these years of life don't exist in my subconscious mind. I've barely ever even dreamed of my son. I just want my mum and dad like a little child. I have no confidence in my husband whatsoever, and because I have never done anything myself, and have spent most of these years alone at home without a car, I don't even know how to live a life, or what I like, I don't know the feeling of achieving anything, and I've lost all motivation to put my heart and soul into anything. I feel like a psychological prisoner and I just can't normalize. It doesn't change year after year. I'm considering going home for a year, but because I've been depressed for so long - more than 2/3 of my life... I just don't know if it's how I am and if it will ever change. And that's my character limit.

CeeBee Feel there is no hope, no future
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I've been feeling so low for so long. The thought that I'm only half way through this cliched life is like a brick around my neck.I've been to doctors, one said "I'm depressed, you're depressed, we're all depressed" She basically told me to get over ... View more

I've been feeling so low for so long. The thought that I'm only half way through this cliched life is like a brick around my neck.I've been to doctors, one said "I'm depressed, you're depressed, we're all depressed" She basically told me to get over myself. Then I saw some supposed top notch psychologist and he too said I wasn't depressed but just had bad family using me up. I sob myself to sleep every night, I am filling with more and more hate and anger. . I feel like the outside version of me everyone is seeing is getting further and further from the real me. The one I must keep secret. My family are trying to help I guess, but whenever they contact me I just feel even worse after. I feel they judge me. They really don't need to, my self loathing conversations in front of the mirror far outweigh what they could come up with. I read to do this mirror thing, as a positive thing, say loving things to yourself. But I tried and discovered I just couldn't say anything nice.I get overwhelmed with such hatred at that thing looking back, that horrid ugly unlovable blob.I'm living in a pigsty, day after day I'm determined to clean up my mess... tomorrow. But I don't, instead I just eat.There is not an ounce of anything to look forward to. I'm getting deeper and deeper in this pit and I can't get out.I'm sorry to be a self-pitying pathetic whinger, I don't see what typing this can do, but the typing it has actually helped a little.

Choib I need real help, advise and a shoulder
  • replies: 50

Hi. Ivehit rock bottom, I mean really rock bottom with Depression and anxiety and no life because of it. Im a male, turning 40 in a few months which I suspect its the big wake up call about all the problems I have to face and its overwhelming. Im rea... View more

Hi. Ivehit rock bottom, I mean really rock bottom with Depression and anxiety and no life because of it. Im a male, turning 40 in a few months which I suspect its the big wake up call about all the problems I have to face and its overwhelming. Im really going through a serious breakdown and Im so so alone and unable to see what to do next, a life or future. A bit of backstory to show the major points of how I got here and struggling every hour to hold it together. Undiagnosed with GAD, male, Australian growing up was hell, anxiety attacks at school everyday, bullied ofc, extreme difficulty's making friends and a broken home all came crashing in my first real mental breakdown at 17. My father threw me out and I got on a plane in a broken haze to move in with my grandmother from perth to melbourne in 93. My life was destroyed from that point on and I fell into hiding, self blame ever since and cut myself off from family since. Instead of living a full life in my 20s and 30 Ive been here, under her protection as she is a widower and needed someone so.. this life has been just that, hiding, doing as little as I can to get by from fear. I watched friends I made in school grow up, meet girls, get married, have kids and get jobs and careers and I looked on in awe. But when they did have the family unit I started pushing away, cause I didnt want them to see the real me. Ive no career training or real abilities I can use to get work, all my tafe and further education I put myself in are now all redundant. The only Time I did work professionally was as a webmaster in advertising for 2 years but that was horrific, the stress broke me again and they had to fire me. I didnt recover from that. that was about 5 years ago, and trying to stay on centerlink has been hell cause they dont understand or recognize they real help I need. My grandmothers 88 and shes so worried and there might not be much time left, my mom is on dialysis 3 times a week and doesnt have long either and I couldn't cope alone, even getting income, facing death again after losing a friend and girlfriend overseas last year Im just.. broken. Failed to begin a life. hitting 40, realizing ive been hording and hiding so so long and a dozen other serious problems hitting me all at once. So I saw my GP yesterday and got onto antidepressants again, I have a referral to a physiologist but.. I dont think thats going to be near enough. I need.. advise.. help.. no family or real friends left to rely on.

Jazzy07 Feeling withdrawn
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Hi, just wondering what people think is best. When you feel anti social and don't want to leave the house / go out etc (just socially I still go to work every day without issue) is it best to push through and 'force' yourself to go? Or is it ok to al... View more

Hi, just wondering what people think is best. When you feel anti social and don't want to leave the house / go out etc (just socially I still go to work every day without issue) is it best to push through and 'force' yourself to go? Or is it ok to allow yourself to retreat and hide for a while? Im not sure if allowing yourself to withdraw will make it worse and create a bigger problem. If u hide for a while is it harder to come back out?

burkey I have had enough of feeling this way
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I have had enough of feeling this way . I don't sleep of a night time and I will not talk to any one . I hide every time some one comes near me. We are about to lose our farm because I cant get a job . and even the doctors no I have a problem but won... View more

I have had enough of feeling this way . I don't sleep of a night time and I will not talk to any one . I hide every time some one comes near me. We are about to lose our farm because I cant get a job . and even the doctors no I have a problem but wont do any thing to help me . Why am I so sad and bitter all the time . I wish I could fall asleep and never wake up beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

MumRunner What to expect if I present to hospital ED
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Hi, I'm just after some advice so that I can understand what to expect. I've been having strong suicidal ideation for at least a month now and also self harming to help when agitated or the thoughts are overwhelming. My counselor referred me to menta... View more

Hi, I'm just after some advice so that I can understand what to expect. I've been having strong suicidal ideation for at least a month now and also self harming to help when agitated or the thoughts are overwhelming. My counselor referred me to mental health several times and is concerned. I met with a new case manager on Tuesday and she indicated that I needed to consider either medication or hospital or I was very close to the choice being taken out of my hands. I have a huge amount of anxiety regarding medication, so agreed to try hospital. I have 2 weeks holidays now and was hoping I could use this time to get myself back on track without impacting my work. While very worried I was also incredibly relieved that someone else would be responsible for keeping me safe and I would have a break from constantly fighting the urges and thoughts. She then finally let me know Friday night that the program she has wanted to get me into wouldn't accept me as I'm too high risk (they are a sub-acute program) and my issues would be too distressing for others there. So my case worker said she had made an appointment for me for the mental health psych in a month! So I'm too high risk for hospital, so they wont see me for a month. And just Tuesday she told me they are very worried about me but now I'm left to fend for myself for a whole month. Anyway...I spoke to my original counselor and she has suggested I just present to hospital. I'm really nervous about sitting for hours in emergency. Also, while I have made plans forsuicide they are not immediate though I have been harming, I don't know if they'll admit you through emergency unless you're imminently about to do something if they let you walk back out the hospital doors. Also do I pack a bag in case I'm admitted? Is that weird? It hardly screams desperation if I rock up with my toothbrush and pj's. I'm rational and not out of my mind, I'm just exhausted from constantly fighting this and don't know how much longer I can hold out. My family doesn't really want to find out either. I just need someone to help me.beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636

oneday Typing this has been a big effort...please read
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HiI'm new to this forum.male 55 year old, three adult kids. Married but live alone. I'm useless. I have no interpersonal skills. I have had depression all my life but only been prepared to recognised it in the last couple of years. I've never really ... View more

HiI'm new to this forum.male 55 year old, three adult kids. Married but live alone. I'm useless. I have no interpersonal skills. I have had depression all my life but only been prepared to recognised it in the last couple of years. I've never really had a friend, always the third wheel in everything. Use to kid myself that I had friends but never really seemed to be liked very much. No one ever seems to remembers my name or that they previously met me. I have had sum unfortunate interactions with people when out so I don't go anywhere now, except the chemist and grocery shopping each month. I fear interaction with others and feel they think I'm a waste of time. Its easier to stay at home and avoid seeing anyone. But it does get lonely. I'm always anxious and expect any contact will lead to me irritating someone and have them abuse me. It seems to happen a lot. For example I was walking along the footpath at the shops when a middle aged woman pulled up along side of me opened the passenger window of her car lent across a young girl in the passenger seat and said "smile it carn't be that bad" shook her head and drove off. Things like that knock me around for days, sometimes weeks. I play it over and over in my head trying to work out what I do to have it happen. I have no idea how to interact with people anymore. Most people dream of what they would do winning lotto as a release from reality. My way of relief from life is dreaming of ending it. Typing this and opening myself up for ridicule has taken a big effort. Honestly, if you have something bad to say please don't respond.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.