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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Lilyn feel completely invisible to the world
  • replies: 15

Today is not a good day. I feel very alone....I am finding it hard to express just how I am feeling. I don't have anyone in my life and that is making dealing with my illness even harder. Most people seem to have a partner/husband/friends/family arou... View more

Today is not a good day. I feel very alone....I am finding it hard to express just how I am feeling. I don't have anyone in my life and that is making dealing with my illness even harder. Most people seem to have a partner/husband/friends/family around in some capacity. I do not. And it is all at my own doing. I responded to someone on here a few days ago who expressed similar feelings but they talked about having a supportive husband and children. I suggested that their feelings of being a terrible person, unworthy and incapable of love and care could not be true as they had their husband and children- it would not be possible for them to have that if they were the way they felt they are. That has stayed with me as clearly I am unable to have a relationship of any kind. So that must mean that I really am just a terrible person, not worth anything to anyone. No one wants to be around me. I am completely alone. I sit in my home day after day with no interaction with anyone. No one calls to see how I am or ask me to spend time with them. I am just left to myself. I am completely isolated. I have nothing to look forward to. Nothing brings me joy. I don't know what I like or am interested in. I feel so lost. I feel so unloved. I feel so uncared for. I feel like I don't exist. I feel so pathetic. I am drowning in self pity but not having anyone who believes in me or even likes me makes it seem almost impossible to get out of. I have made so many mistakes in my life and it feels like this is what I deserve. I recently reached out to a couple of people from my past work. Neither of them has answered me. Being ignored like that just makes me believe even more how bad I am. I must be. It was and is very hard for me to reach out to anyone so that in itself was a huge thing for me. And being silently rejected by them has pushed me back to where I was. There is no one in my corner. I am all alone and feel completely invisible to the world.

Kirby Am I depressed or just having that 'phase'?
  • replies: 1

Since the end of last year I have been feeling very down on myself and sometimes feeling a sense of loneliness and mainly depression. I often wake up in cold sweats and frequently battle to get to sleep unless I am extremely tired from work and what ... View more

Since the end of last year I have been feeling very down on myself and sometimes feeling a sense of loneliness and mainly depression. I often wake up in cold sweats and frequently battle to get to sleep unless I am extremely tired from work and what not. After the end of year exams last year I've been under a lot of stress and it has really been getting to me. I have had thoughts of suicide because I've just gotten to the point of thinking that everyone would just be better off not worrying about me and just going about their business. I haven't spoken to any friends or family because I feel like I'll be laughed at and or told that people have much bigger issues than I do. Please help me figure out what I need to do to get some help before my schooling plummets along with my social life.

samanthakate_lorna R&R - "relapse & recovery"
  • replies: 1

I've found myself stuck in a never ending loop of what i like to call "R&R". Not your typical R&R... i wish it was restful & relaxing... but a physically & emotionally draining process of falling, recovery & repeat. my life at the moment is a cocktai... View more

I've found myself stuck in a never ending loop of what i like to call "R&R". Not your typical R&R... i wish it was restful & relaxing... but a physically & emotionally draining process of falling, recovery & repeat. my life at the moment is a cocktail of problems with shots on the side every second i have a chance to take a minute to breathe... i feel as if i'm drowning & have lost any kind of control over anything. Anyone relate?

Purple818 I work up the nerve to get help then chicken out
  • replies: 1

Why is it so hard for me to get help? I always think to myself ' tomorrow the day' but then when I work up the nerve to do it, I chicken out. I really don't understand. I am just so tired of it.

Why is it so hard for me to get help? I always think to myself ' tomorrow the day' but then when I work up the nerve to do it, I chicken out. I really don't understand. I am just so tired of it.

binjyb How did you come by your diagnosis?
  • replies: 2

First post in this forum: *scatters hugs and squares of chocolate* Depression snuck up on me ..bit by bit- year by year , until it had me covered in a thick cloak which weighed me down , physically and mentally . Finally a doctor's appointment was ma... View more

First post in this forum: *scatters hugs and squares of chocolate* Depression snuck up on me ..bit by bit- year by year , until it had me covered in a thick cloak which weighed me down , physically and mentally . Finally a doctor's appointment was made when I had trouble literally putting one foot in front of the other ! The diagnosis was a complete shock .. OTHERS had depression .. I knew family/friends with it .. this wasn't it, was it? Surely this was MS or a virus , or something... Nope ..just depression & anxiety ... and so began the search for professional people and medication to aid in managing this .'Tis an interesting journey ...it hurts,it is debilitating,it is confusing,and it is the thing which has led me to think more and do things differently.

Mares73 I'm broken, not just my heart
  • replies: 17

Hi all I posted after my dreadful pysch appointment yesterday but it hasn't shown up. Maybe because I mentioned my Psychiatrists only response to how I'm feeling. She wants me to be hospitalised to receive what I believe to be an extreme form of trea... View more

Hi all I posted after my dreadful pysch appointment yesterday but it hasn't shown up. Maybe because I mentioned my Psychiatrists only response to how I'm feeling. She wants me to be hospitalised to receive what I believe to be an extreme form of treatment usually reserved for few cases. My husband and I are in total dear. He's making me go to my mums for the week. But I have to get there myself and its an hr away. I can't even seem to pack a a bag as I'm so afraid of what power my psych has. Can she force this on me? I also saw mt GP to get a referral to a did rent Pyschiatrist but I can't afford her-$470 per session!! I'm frightened, crying, feel no hope, don't know how ill get thru this. I know I have to get to my mums before I do anything which gives my Pyschiatrist reason to do what she would do ie hospitalise and force draconian treatment. I'm so so scared. I just want to be held & told it will be ok. But it won't. I won't have computer at mums just iPhone so I can still come on here. What else can I say? Never ever beloved I could ever be in this situation & I'm self aware etc-the treatment she wants me to have is I thought-only used in extreme cases. I'm so lost now. My spirit that holds up my heart & gives me strength is too damaged. Mares x

slownews Does anyone else have problems in discussing their issues on a face-to-face basis?
  • replies: 7

I have huge self esteem issues that is placing my quest to get better. I was trying to get a referral from a GP however I either couldn't answer their questions or was just simply meandering in my answers. I have been feeling awful about my life, wor... View more

I have huge self esteem issues that is placing my quest to get better. I was trying to get a referral from a GP however I either couldn't answer their questions or was just simply meandering in my answers. I have been feeling awful about my life, work and studies for some time and I fear it is getting worse. I sleep too much and I question everything about myself. I feel isolated and unintelligent. I'm constantly anxious while contemplating the uselessness of my life. I fee utterly worthless, unaccomplished and stupid; beliefs that I think are the root of my increasing anxiety and depression. Does anyone else have problems in discussing their issues on a face-to-face basis? And what are some simple tips to alleviate such awful self esteem?

Nell57 Anger and emotions coming to the surface
  • replies: 2

I have been suffering from depression for so long I have actually forgotten when I was first diagnosed. I had been taking one type of medication for some years but discussions with my psychologist and dr that has changed. Since starting, it has not s... View more

I have been suffering from depression for so long I have actually forgotten when I was first diagnosed. I had been taking one type of medication for some years but discussions with my psychologist and dr that has changed. Since starting, it has not seemed to have changed how I feel, in fact I feel somewhat worse. I am groggy most of the day, wake up with nausea and when I manage to sleep it is a combination of vivid bad dreams, not nightmares, but not far from them. These dreams tend to be a mix of memories and dreaming. I find I am angry to the point of wanting to break a glass or something, not that I have done this literally, but I feel this way. It is as if something is trying to get the the surface but doesn't quite make it. I am unhappy and keep relieving and going over bad things that have happened to me in the past. Things I don't want to remember. Most of my day is spent feeling low and worthless. I am married and although my hubby is very supportive I find I get angry with him for the simplest stupidest things. I yell and scream over mole hills, which to me are mountains. Has any one out there felt like this. In a fit of despair I mentioned this on another site and was told I should get a referral to a psychiatrist and perhaps go in to a clinic to get all my meds sorted. Please help me, please tell me that this is not so weird and that I am not going mad. I only came to this site because I saw an ad. Thanks for **listening** to my rant.

charlottesometimes being unwell feels normal
  • replies: 6

I woke this morning in such pain. I realised that for a very long time now I have not been coping. This would have been obvious to anyone - I have lost 12 kg in a short space of time, cannot eat, cry all the time, cannot concentrate or work, am negat... View more

I woke this morning in such pain. I realised that for a very long time now I have not been coping. This would have been obvious to anyone - I have lost 12 kg in a short space of time, cannot eat, cry all the time, cannot concentrate or work, am negative, etc. The weird thing is that I know this and vaguely do things, tell people but don't 'do ' anything serious. I don't do what I would like someone to do . That would be say to myself, and what some of you here have said to me and others," wow you are in a bad place, really bad. What can you do about it." I have sat in it thinking it would magically get better, or that it really wasn't THAT bad or I don't know what.The other weird thing is ' no one else in my life has either'. My sister and mother know that I am quite depressed. My best friend also, and I have said to various people that I am struggling 'a little' . People don't do anything. I unconsciously have chosen my name quite well. In Charlottesometimes (a book) the girl goes to bed and wakes up in a different time, swapping with the girl from the other time. They do this at random, unpredictable nights, swapping into each others lives and times.. And no one notices the difference. As long as they do what they/the other is meant to be doing. Maybe they have and I'm the one who didn't notice.I need help. I am going back on medication.I realised too that I am actually quite angry. Beneath the pain is anger. I read someone else's post and they talked about wanting someone to notice they had withdrawn and respond. I understand that. I don't like it. I don't want to be that passive person. What is the line between wanting to be cared about and not taking responsibility?I am angry that I wasn't looked after. I am angry that my experience led me to believe I was and still am not worthy of attention, care, consideration. That I don't trust when people spend time with me, I am afraid that they are tricking me.I am angry that someone in my life wanting to include other people in an activity we do makes me feel so rejected that I spiral down and consider suicide. How is this possible. If I lose that friend surely that is better than losing my mind.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

JessF I fell off the wagon
  • replies: 3

Well I was away over the weekend and doing a bit of reading it looks like I missed some computer dramas: my absolute favourite (not!) I fell off the wagon on Saturday. In terms of drink and in letting my anxiety get the better of me, and I'm annoyed ... View more

Well I was away over the weekend and doing a bit of reading it looks like I missed some computer dramas: my absolute favourite (not!) I fell off the wagon on Saturday. In terms of drink and in letting my anxiety get the better of me, and I'm annoyed and disappointed in myself. For some weeks, I'd been working myself up to join a new social group, something that is very outside of my comfort zone but something I have wanted to do for years. Saturday morning came, I got all the way there, took one look at all the people and panicked. I got straight back in my car and went home. I tried to distract myself as best I could for the day, but those little demons and voices would not leave me alone. I accepted that they were there, just like I've been taught, but it still felt crap. I tried not to beat myself up too much, but by the evening I decided I needed a drink, so I stayed up into the small hours drinking and watching rubbish on television. I felt awful on Sunday, and I'm ashamed to say I didn't go into work on Monday. As I knew it would, the drink made my depression worse so I've been in a numb haze feeling sorry for myself. Thankfully I have woken this morning with a lighter head and a better perspective, hopefully it will be a lesson of strength for next time. I don't know what I'm going to do about the social group. I don't know whether I want to try again, or whether I should jsut leave it because it seems I am not ready to take that step yet.