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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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auschic I am sad and no one knows.
  • replies: 5

Can you relate? No one notices how upset I am. Sometimes, I don't even think I notice. I feel miserable. I just can't be bothered doing anything... I need someone to talk to. I just want someone who understands. It seems like every decision I make, g... View more

Can you relate? No one notices how upset I am. Sometimes, I don't even think I notice. I feel miserable. I just can't be bothered doing anything... I need someone to talk to. I just want someone who understands. It seems like every decision I make, good or bad, there is no one on my side. For example, I quit my job today (just a weekend job, I have another job) because I wasn't happy. All anyone can say is, "that was wrong, why did you do that, you're an idiot" even my family says this. It would be nice for someone to say, "I'm sure you made the right choice or as long as you're happy" I just wish I could talk to someone without being judged. I just want someone to understand me. Not even my own family can accomplish this small task. I'm not sure if I'm depressed. My sister has depression. Here's how I feel right now: Tired, unmotivated, sore, sleepy, sad, misunderstood and stupid. I haven't eaten all day and I'm not hungry. I want to get up and do something but I just can't find the energy to do so. I can't tell anyone how I feel because I don't want to be laughed at. My family will say 'how ridiculous, you're not upset' when really, inside, I'm dying. What is wrong with me? Also I have times when I'm in a really good mood and I'm really confident and then I have times when I'm quite depressed.

DocMuffin I was almost getting better...
  • replies: 5

I've really been trying. I did everything I was told to do but somehow it still feels like I'm plagued by the overwhelming shadow of badluck. I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that it is just the way I feel and that the 'badluck' isn't ... View more

I've really been trying. I did everything I was told to do but somehow it still feels like I'm plagued by the overwhelming shadow of badluck. I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that it is just the way I feel and that the 'badluck' isn't actually real. However.. it's becoming a lot more difficult to rationalise that to myself as of late. I guess my back story is that I'm a victim of childhood neglect and have had depression for as long as I can remember. I do not have a supportive family and really want nothing to do with them. For the first time in my 18yrs + of depression I sought the help of a doctor. I got a mental care plan etc etc. A month ago, my psychologist went into surgery and is on somewhat of an indefinite hiatus. The anti-depressants (in my opinion) have absolutely not effect. But back to my sudden string of confounding badluck... I missed my psychiatrists appointment due to sleeping through several alarms; a first for me. Sleep is something that has eluded me for the good part of at least 10 years and is a constant struggle to figure it out. I.e. I can fall asleep but my sleep is really poor quality, my nights are filled with dreams that don't quite allow me any peace. When people say "it was such a good sleep" or "I feel so refreshed after that sleep"I have no idea what that feeling is like and I crave it so badly. No matter how hard I try, my sleep always falls out of patterns, my life becomes less active and I end up spending the majority of my time in my bed. I hate the constant fatigue, the unquenchable feeling of wanting to be asleep hoping it will rejuvenate my mind after awakening.I planned on doing tai chi to help the anxiety to calm my mind; didn't happen due to mixing up the times. Missed a psychiatrists appointment due to a phenomena foreign to me; failing to study for an exam I have in a week due to such an inactive regime. I feel like I just need a break. For everyone to get off my back, let me laze around for a few weeks. Let me figure out my own mind; however this 'badluck' is making it all the worse. Not to mention the financial woes it keeps impacting upon me. I'm 22, yet I feel as though I have the troubles of one twice my age and experience. I don't even know who or what I am anymore. The suicidal thoughts were kept at bay thanks to the antidepressants, however that gate has since been destroyed and I'm intoxicated with new ways to end it all. I need some advice. Thanksbeyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Imagine Sorry
  • replies: 3

I want to say sorry for disappearing after my recent post. I am most grateful for the support and good advice I was given but did not respond to. I've had a terrible shock and am now very sick with a flare up of my autoimmune disease from the stress.... View more

I want to say sorry for disappearing after my recent post. I am most grateful for the support and good advice I was given but did not respond to. I've had a terrible shock and am now very sick with a flare up of my autoimmune disease from the stress. My ex husband is OK but....He (we have been living apart for 6 months) came to our house, and while I was out, attempted suicide. He was finally found by the police in hospital. He had called an ambulance. I spent most of the week at the hospital with him as he kept asking for me. I was literally spoon feeding him and helping him to walk.Now I am home, with a massive flare up of my illness and heartbroken again as despite having to deal with his suicide attempt, I am only a friend. I don't want to be in a relationship with a man who treats me as he does, and my head is too sensible to let him come back even if he wanted to, but my heart is shattered. I'm angry he has hurt me again. His depression is not my responsibility anymore and he has already hurt me so much. He should not have left me to deal with it all.My life is a nightmare as it is. I'm in constant pain, have seizures that prevent me from driving and despite working 2 days a week, I am scrounging a living well below the poverty line. I chafe against the restrictions of my pathetic little life. I am only 43 and I am reduced to reading, knitting and watching TV in the endless days and nights when my beloved family and friends are out living their own lives and I hate it. I don't want to be a burden on them so I mostly keep it to myself but I am profoundly miserable. Sometimes I even struggle to do something as simple as make a cup of tea (scalded myself when I passed out pouring water from the kettle the other night).I have tried to help myself, to find positives, reaching out to friends, working for charities etc but it's not enough.I have spoken to psychs and counsellors and am taking 3 antidepressants.Nothing helps and all I get told is to keep on going. I won't suicide. I can't bring myself to hurt my family but I desperately want out of this life. I feel so trapped.I am trying so hard... but I am so over it all. Thanks for "listening"

Blondyroses Unsure if I should go to the doctor
  • replies: 4

Hi i sufferer from chronic generalised anxiety, PTSD and mild depression. The last two or three weeks I have been struggling to be happy. I can't be bothered doing anything, going anywhere and have to push myself to just do things around the house. I... View more

Hi i sufferer from chronic generalised anxiety, PTSD and mild depression. The last two or three weeks I have been struggling to be happy. I can't be bothered doing anything, going anywhere and have to push myself to just do things around the house. I am on medication for this condition so it seems to stabilise me somewhat but as i said, I have been feeling worse. I know what my doctor will say, lose weight, do exercise, plenty of rest and eat healthily. I'm unsure if I should go and visit him and let him know I have become worse. Petal

Bielzibub The Safest Place
  • replies: 6

Considering the following 3 facts:1) Imagine this universe as a graph, with time on the x axis and the sum of all happiness of all living things, except me, on the y axis. My only goal in life is, and always has been to get the area under that graph ... View more

Considering the following 3 facts:1) Imagine this universe as a graph, with time on the x axis and the sum of all happiness of all living things, except me, on the y axis. My only goal in life is, and always has been to get the area under that graph as large as possible.2) I am 39, single and don't see any possibility of having a family no matter how much I want that to be the case. I hate daylight, daytime and most of all, being awake, making deep sleep the safest and the only enjoyable part of my life. So I have come to realise that every single waking decision and action that I take actually lowers the area under the graph in point 1.3) I am 100% sure that my universe ceases to exist when I'm gone, making the graph in point 1 null and void.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Pal I can't help feeling like this why?
  • replies: 2

I'm feeling so overwhelmed And anxious, I can't sleep at night I'm tired all the time. I'm so moody and cry all the time at the drop off a hat, I hate this feeling and sometimes I wonder why I'm still here. Why am I feeling like this ? View more

I'm feeling so overwhelmed And anxious, I can't sleep at night I'm tired all the time. I'm so moody and cry all the time at the drop off a hat, I hate this feeling and sometimes I wonder why I'm still here. Why am I feeling like this ?

AGrace intimacy and mental health
  • replies: 16

Hi all, I just reread the community rules to check if this topic is appropriate, it appears that as long as I feel comfortable sharing with a stranger then im safe. I will however choose my words wisely. I apologise if this has been discussed before,... View more

Hi all, I just reread the community rules to check if this topic is appropriate, it appears that as long as I feel comfortable sharing with a stranger then im safe. I will however choose my words wisely. I apologise if this has been discussed before, I couldnt find any similar threads. My partner and I have been together 5 years and are both very much in love. There is only one slight issue and thats loss of intimacy. I say loss because I know it was healthy before. My partner has taken on the role of my carer while ive been battling with mental illness and now I have this strange feeling that he finds it difficult to be intimate with me. Ok, its not strange, its real. Over the past 6 months ive found myself having to raise the issue with on a monthly basis him to reengage in intimate acts. So here we are 6 months down the track and I think if I dont raise it again it will never happen. The problem is I dont want to have to ask for it or have discussions about it all the time. Firstly it leaves no room for spontaneity, and secondly it leaves me feeling very undesired. In the past he's mentioned the scars I have make him sad but unfortunately I cant remove them. Ive also put on weight thanks to medication and lifestyle changes, but he consistently tells me he still loves me. I dont want a brother or a friend, I want my partner back, but because I feel like my mental health is such a strain on him I dont want to force him to do anything he doesnt want to. My Psychiatrist informed me that my medication could result in loss of libido but fortunately (or in my case unfortunately) its had the exact opposite effect. Does anyone have some words of wisdom that they'd be comfortable to share. Thanks:)

White_Rose I can't ride the roller coaster anymore.
  • replies: 11

I thought I was getting on so well and now I am back in the hole. I don't want to try anymore. It's just too hard and I'm tired of everything. I've tried to help others and thought I was was not doing too badly with life. I know it's good to talk to ... View more

I thought I was getting on so well and now I am back in the hole. I don't want to try anymore. It's just too hard and I'm tired of everything. I've tried to help others and thought I was was not doing too badly with life. I know it's good to talk to others, even via this forum, but no more. I just can't go on.Can anyone give me a reason?LINGbeyondblue's clinically trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 224 636.

Kirlei02 PTSD with depression: after a lifetime, it all makes sense
  • replies: 9

Hi, Not sure what I'm looking for here? About 2 years ago finally got the label that I suffered PTSD with depression, after a lifetime (just about it seems) all of a sudden things started to make sense. I wasn't going crazy, there was actually a name... View more

Hi, Not sure what I'm looking for here? About 2 years ago finally got the label that I suffered PTSD with depression, after a lifetime (just about it seems) all of a sudden things started to make sense. I wasn't going crazy, there was actually a name for the looney toon I thought I was! I have been through numerous counselling sessions, just last year the psychologist who helped really identify things for me. But as we know 10 sessions goes real fast. Really struggle day to day just getting through life, feeling and doing and motivating myself. I tend to stay home, don't ring people don't socialise. My life enjoyment is not there and don't feel emotion often. I'm my own worst enemy as I wont go on normal drugs, just lately have been trialling natural remedies and don't sIeep although tired. Just basically stopped enjoying life. I hold down a job doing rotating rosters which helps me get up each day.I struggle to deal with large amounts of people around (although if I'm in the right head space I can do it .. weird woman I am) I always on high alert in social gatherings, stomach churns etc. II have wonderful children and grandchildren who are there for me, but I spend half my time hiding who I really am.. just because I don't want to hurt them or for them to worry. I don't even know what I'm looking for..sometimes none of it makes sense

fifi highs and lows
  • replies: 6

smack back to reality bam that kinda hurt ! feeling so blah tonight tearing up over nothing ect let down yet again and used by those who are supposed to love me pretty sad really . so all of this is probably sounding really vague i guess i should exp... View more

smack back to reality bam that kinda hurt ! feeling so blah tonight tearing up over nothing ect let down yet again and used by those who are supposed to love me pretty sad really . so all of this is probably sounding really vague i guess i should explain long story short there is more than a few problems within my family unit its funny we are all as mental as each other and i love them but i am so over getting hurt my brother recently became a father any way there had been lets just say issues between us due to a lot of very valid reasons any way mum rang him to convince him to make peace with me blah blah blah so we spoke via message and kind of made peace i still have alot of hurt in my heart that needs to heal before i could fully forgive him . So he says that he is going to send me a photo of his son my late grandfathers name sake that in itself is a little hard to swallow but we breath.Still no photos no message no anything . now this is where mum comes into it sitting at work she called to tell me about the phone conversation ok whatever and then it clicked and she as good as admitted it without even realising it that the only reason she wanted to heal the broken relationship was for her own gain my brother lives in Sweden and mum has not seen the baby yet. insert fiona here I live next door and i have the internet and a Facebook account to be honest i feel so broken right now that its scary . don't even know what to think any more to make matters worse i have run out of anti depressants so have missed today's dose so didn't need that on top of everything else feeling all kinds of crazy dont know what i have ever done in my life to make people treat me like they do and especially my family my flesh and blood heart broken

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