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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Ftroop feeling confused
  • replies: 1

im really confused, I feel angry all the time but I don't really know why. I don't know what to think, I hate myself in lots of ways but I cant stop the way I feel.

im really confused, I feel angry all the time but I don't really know why. I don't know what to think, I hate myself in lots of ways but I cant stop the way I feel.

AloneInTheDark My life story
  • replies: 6

Hey guys, I've been in a really bad place lately, and I don't have anyone else to speak to, I don't want my family to know about my troubles, because there is already too much going on in my parents lives. Where do i start? I've never spoken/written ... View more

Hey guys, I've been in a really bad place lately, and I don't have anyone else to speak to, I don't want my family to know about my troubles, because there is already too much going on in my parents lives. Where do i start? I've never spoken/written what's going on in my head before, and I just need to let it all out. I've been the social outcast all my life, floating by on a piece of string, hoping it doesn't snap and leave me in the dark. I don't have any friends, I have acquaintances who occasionally ask me to do stuff, but I am to afraid of going out, as I have sever anxiety issues and freak out about lots of things. I guess my life spiraled out of control in the start of Year 10, toward the end of that year, the group of guys I hung out with at school stopped talking to me, avoiding me at all costs and just being really rude. I thought these were the people I could count on most to not do this. For 3 months Oct-Dec, I spent every recess and lunch reading books alone, bottling up my feelings and hating myself, always wondering what I had done to deserve this. I cried myself to sleep every night, as a 16 year old boy. The school I attended finishes at Year 10, so I moved on to a new school.. New school, new start? yeah, right. I'm a really shy person, I have the social skills equivalent to that of a polar bear, ( a.k.a non-existent ) I didn't meet new people, I struggled through school, year 12 was a shamble, with my anxiety causing me to blank out during tests and even pass out during exams, so on top of my failing life, my grades were miserable. Of course, this made me feel even worse, no friends, no future aspirations, just a person no one cares about. In October last year, at my cousins 21st, I met this wonderful girl, and we started talking, just a little at first, it eventually led on to us talking every night for 2 months until one of us fell asleep. That 2 months was the best of my life. I forgot all the terrible stuff that had happened, and could only focus on the girl who made me feel alive. I finally caught up with her, and it was a disaster, my stress levels went through the roof, and I messed up. We didn't speak for a while, mainly because I was too afraid of what she thought. A few nights ago, I messaged her, asking her if things could go back to the way they were before I was an idiot and my anxiety ruined our friendship. She replied with a long drawn out message about how she was sorry about what we had, and she should never have talked to me as often as she did, and the way she did, knowing that I was a loner, and had never had a friend who was a girl. She basically led me on an adventure that ended in pain and suffering. One that I was all too familiar with. I'm currently 18, most people think I have plenty of time to find someone like her, but I don't know, I've never had so much in common with anyone before, and the way she stopped talking to me literally crushed me. I've spent the last few days ignoring her, the world and everything, I just feel like leaving. Permanantly I don't really have anywhere else to go, except where everyone who goes through these things converges, I just want some people to talk to. I want to go see a therapist, but i'm too afraid of my parents and siblings knowing, and trying to help me themselves, i'm too much of a burden on everyone.

Lauren_D1 Ex-boyfriend problems.
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, I'm having ex-boyfriend troubles. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, any advice is helpful. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for nearly two years, living together and building a house together. We had issues, but both agr... View more

Hi everyone, I'm having ex-boyfriend troubles. Thank you for taking the time to read my story, any advice is helpful. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for nearly two years, living together and building a house together. We had issues, but both agreed that it was probably because neither of us had any space due to our tiny apartment and the fact we work together - familiarity breeds contempt. That is why we began building, so that we could be fully independent and still have some space. He was seeing a therapist through work due to his inability to control his temper (never violent but unable to control his emotions) and I felt it was really helping him, and we were both longing for our lease to end so that we could get a bigger place and not be in each others face so much until the house was built. Then he broke up with me suddenly nearly two months ago and it devastated me. Since then it's been back and forth emotionally. For a week after he said we had broken up he was helping me pack the apartment (our lease had ended) and we would talk and hug and spend the night together, even though he kept saying he still wanted to break up. I hoped that a few weeks apart would help him get over the stress and we would reconcile, but he eventually said that he didn't love me, didn't want to deal with the stress of the house, and had no interest in reconciling. I was devastated but accepted his decision. A few weeks later he had to sign some papers in my office and ended up staying for three hours, telling me how much he missed me, that he was having such a hard time, and how upset he was that he had been afraid to talk to me about how he was feeling when we were together. We talked about our problems and I know that if we had talked about it when we were together, we might have resolved things. I confessed I did want us to try again, but that I was unsure if I could trust him - he admitted he wanted me back but didn't want to rush into things. We agreed not to make any hasty decisions and to take it slow, so when he kissed me and asked to come over I said no, I did want him to, but it was too much for one day. A few days later we talked and he told me that he hadn't meant any of the things he said, and that he only said it to make me happy and still had no interest in a relationship. I was very upset, as he had been the one to instigate the conversation about us and had seemed to happy and affectionate when we left. My mother pointed out he might have felt rejected, so a few days later I contacted him and we started to talk again. He confessed he was feeling really unsure, angry and frustrated, and then began talking about suicide. The only thing that held him back was how upset his family would be. I was very distressed by this and comforted him, saying I wanted to be there for him, even if we were not in a relationship. He admitted that I'm the only person he feels comfortable talking to, and he's stopped seeing his shrink, but that he doesn't want to hurt me, hates when I'm upset and doesn't want me to get my hopes up. He asked if we could go out on the weekend to see the progress on our house, as he can't face going there himself. I agreed. However a few days later he said something had come up and he wouldn't be coming - he says that he's going out with friends but I asked if it was really because he couldn't deal with the house and he said maybe. I went to see him and we sat in his car and talked. He talked about suicide again and I tried to convince him that he needed to see a shrink to help him deal with everything. I said I felt like he was toying with my emotions but that I'm trying to be patient and understanding because I feel like he's just lashing out because hes hurt and confused. He got very upset and angry, to the point where he was smashing his fist on the console, and made me get out of the car before speeding off. I tried to contact him, afraid he was going to do something awful, but he just told me to go away, stop calling, and blocked my calls. For hours I tried calling off other phones, and texting, asking that he just respond that he was OK. He didn't, and I ended up calling his mother and asking her to check on him while I got in the car to drive out there, fearing the worst. Eventually he did get into contact, he had turned his phone on silent and gone to sleep, but it was a truly horrible afternoon. I don't know how to handle whats going on. He's told me I'm the only person he can talk to, and I ask why he's pushing me away and he doesn't know. His family has a history of mental illness, suicide and depression, and I've tried reaching out to them with my concerns but they just rebuff me. I am really worried about him and don't know what to do. He won't seek help, he suppresses how he's feeling around his friends, and keeps changing his mind about what he wants from me, and pushing me away. I so still hope for a reconciliation I'll admit, but know there was no chance while he was so upset, and he's said he thinks we're too far gone to fix things, and that he doesn't love me anymore. Nevertheless, I still want to be there for him, because I still care about him so much. I'm afraid that if I cut him off, he'll do something stupid. And there is a degree of selfishness, because I don't want to lose him either. I have shown him this website and asked him to look into it, but he wont. Any advice would be appreciated. I'll probably show him this post because I think he does need help, and it might help to get some advice from the beyondblue community. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

guest75 can depression be brought on by a loved one?
  • replies: 6

I met with my psychologist yesterday afternoon. This is the first session I've had with her where i was able to speak properly about everything, without turning into a blubbering mess. It was also the first session where I was able to look at my rela... View more

I met with my psychologist yesterday afternoon. This is the first session I've had with her where i was able to speak properly about everything, without turning into a blubbering mess. It was also the first session where I was able to look at my relationship with Tara objectively, without just "wanting her back" as i had for the previous 5-6 weeks. She didnt say it in exact words, but she suggested that my depression may have been brought on by Tara and the way she had been treating me. Over the last 6 months of our relationship, she convinced me to leave a job i loved and we had to relocate, when that job didnt work out she assured me there was enough in savings for me to resign and look for a new job. All the savings money was in her name so i was left with no money and became a virtual hermit for 6 months as she kept making excuses to not put money into my account, and because we only had 1 car i was left with no transportation. This had been happening (money stuff etc) for approximately 2 years before we made the move Finding the stuff on the computer that showed me she had been cheating on me was the best thing that ever happened to me (as stupid as that sounds) as it allowed me to see her for what she really was. Previous to that I was always of the opinion i was lucky to have her, she was better than me and i should be greatful. She will blame me for my moods changing for our relationship breakdown, but i feel my depression and subsequent mood changes were brought on by her actions towards me, turning me into a prisoner in my own home. The releif i have felt since knowing it was over has been undescribable, knowing its finished and being able to see everything how it really was. My blossoming relationship with Katy is also a fantasic feeling helping feel better, but even without that, knowing that of my life is finished is pure relief. Has that happened to anyone else, to have a person who you loved and lived with to bring the depression on with their actions? Something i wrote last night, directed at Tara You thought you won? You left me a broken man You left me with no money You left me with no job You left me with no car You left me with no home You left me alone Did you win? NO I have rebuilt myself, and I am now a better man I have a job I have money I have a car And I am now seeing a new lady, who, throughout our whole relationship, i always wondered "what if" Now i can discover what if with her So thank you for breaking me and causing me to rebuild myself, because i am now a better man than i was

Christa1 In A Panic
  • replies: 7

A few hours ago I replied to those who had replied to my post (this is only my 2nd ever post), saying how I felt better today. Since then, my son has returned back from his dad's house & has been saying things which strongly suggest he may be thinkin... View more

A few hours ago I replied to those who had replied to my post (this is only my 2nd ever post), saying how I felt better today. Since then, my son has returned back from his dad's house & has been saying things which strongly suggest he may be thinking of taking our son to live with him some time in the near future. We are not divorced (still separated) and there are no legal orders for access for either of us. I feel shattered, just shaken to the core. I never thought I would have to deal with this as our separation was pretty amicable We have been separated for 3 years & I have a new partner. We are due to move in together (with my son) next month. My ex-husband, I have recently found out, now has a girlfriend and I think he may want our son to live with them later in the year. I keep my son out of all the difficulties I have with his dad. I have never bad-mouthed his dad to him or asked him to keep anything from his dad, ever. Our son would like to live with both of us, he says. I am worried that if I go for custody that my depression will be brought up & also the state of my home, which needs a lot of repair & frequently looks like a bomb's hit it! I feel panicky, like my world is starting to crumble around me. If I didn't have my son, I don't know what there would be left to live for. After having done all the hard yards for the past 3 years looking after our son, I feel shattered that his dad might just come along & take him. I can't even think straight as to what to do. I feel almost numb with shock at this. My son is my world & I just can't lose him. Can these post be made available to solicitors etc... I don't want to give anyone any ammunition against me.

Mares73 Avoidance & Selfesteem issues
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I was about to reply to my dear friend Neil when I realised there was a common thread through many people's stories & situations. So many of experience low Selfesteem, lack of confidence, fear of future, feel like a failure. And for some peop... View more

Hi all, I was about to reply to my dear friend Neil when I realised there was a common thread through many people's stories & situations. So many of experience low Selfesteem, lack of confidence, fear of future, feel like a failure. And for some people the way they cope is to use avoidance strategies to escape the pain & experiences they are dealing with. For so long I have used avoidance behaviour whenever I could to cope. This may be taking extra medication, drinking, escaping into another situation etc. but I just thought I'd mention it as its a big part of depression. And when we cannot feel hope, we do the next best thing-try to escape the situation (& this includes harm issues). I don't have the answered & right now I wish I could escape/avoid how I'm feeling-but in my situation the depression has overwhelmed me beyond my usual point of hiding it & coping with it. But I have always had low Selfesteem, I have always blamed myself for anything & everything. I apologise for things that people say "why are you apologising?), I see myself as a failure with no hope. Yet 10yrs ago I was in a high level job & was a different person. Now escaping into work was also an avoidance issue in some ways as I excelled at work but had experienced post-natal depression so I thought my kids were better in daycare. But they weren't happy & missed me & I eventually gave up work to be there for them and I'm so glad I did-yet the isolation when there is no one around is hard to manage. And from the reading I've done of people's stories-there seems to be an initial trigger or memory of painful experience from the past that they are still dealing with, as well as current issues which collide & bring us down. We may not even be able to identify the trigger/issue of pain as we have buried it deep & are now just coping with symptoms like me rather than moving on tie taking the next step of confronting or facing painful feelings, memories & thoughts. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I started off thinking of Neil & then thought so many of us may experience feeling at the bottom of the world. So this thread is "dedicated" to Neil ( im so awful hey) for those who can relate to the issues I've raised. Lve Mares x

Mares73 Part 3 Crisis Update
  • replies: 13

Hi aallI was supposed to see a Pyschiatrist at the local hospital yesterday as part of the acute team. But my taxi never turned up & the Dr couldn't wait so now I have to wait to see him next week.I am extremely low, still struggling with overwhelmin... View more

Hi aallI was supposed to see a Pyschiatrist at the local hospital yesterday as part of the acute team. But my taxi never turned up & the Dr couldn't wait so now I have to wait to see him next week.I am extremely low, still struggling with overwhelming thoughts of survival. My husband who had stayed working in NZ last week came home Thursday night. He usually works at home Friday but yesterday he went into work. He is returning to NZ tomorrow for another week. He really doesn't understand. He is asking me things like what will be for dinner each night-I can't even think of dinner. I'm trying to cope in half hour blocks.I don't know & I'm worried how to organise the kids for school this week. And next weekend my husband and I are meant to be staying down South Coast for a wedding. He seems to think I can just go back to feeling normal whenever I'm needed. But I can't. And I almost wish to go to hospital to have a break to get support for me. But that won't happen.I'm noticing I'm getting more anxious & afraid when I think of things I should have done ie pay bills & can't face anything at moment. Has anyone just had an acute reaction to depression that comes out of nowhere & takes over your thoughts & you can't identify a trigger? Because I've had depression & anxiety for years & usually I can tell I'm feeling low, know deep down what the triggers were & knew the type of support I needed. In such cases yes things may go by the wayside but I focus on something like reading which I usually love & I escape into that when I'm feeling low.But this time I can't concentrate to read, have zero interest in anything & feel so immobilised by my fear that I barely get through the day usually by reading on Beyond Blue.I cannot face people & couldn't imagine at all going out or doing anything I'd usually be able to do. I have also never previously considered hurting myself as my kids are everything to me, so they are a kind of safety net & I'd never ever do anything because I'd rather suffer through the depression than do something that would destroy them & I could never hurt them or leave them.Yet like the other things I've mentioned, this is the first time that my pain & out of control thoughts are stronger than my usual safety net (my kids). It's the first time ever that the thoughts are stronger than my ability to survive for my kids. The out of control thoughts tell me they would be better off long term rather than having a mother in this state & my husband could meet someone else. That in itself is proof of my current state of mind. I'm not "me" at the moment.I really hope to see a psych ASAP. I'd be interested if anyone has ever had a similar situation-where severe depression just comes from nowhere & you feel completely out of control of your thoughts & feel terrified by being out of control, especially the thoughts of not wanting to continue-existence issues. Any similar experiences would be appreciated.So to sum up-I'm in an awful place but I'm holding on by reminding myself next week will hopefully provide more support & some changes in treatment-therefore helping me out of the current situation. I can't say thank you enough for reading, replying & being my main support at this time. My heart goes out to all experiencing a difficult time-you remain in my thoughts. Mares xxx Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} 'beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.'

Chris D A Helping Hand
  • replies: 5

It's January 27 2014 and the time is 1.30pm. As i sit on my bed listening to music, i think about how all of us here at BB have come together to give a Helping Hand to each of us. We have all come from many different backgrounds, had many different u... View more

It's January 27 2014 and the time is 1.30pm. As i sit on my bed listening to music, i think about how all of us here at BB have come together to give a Helping Hand to each of us. We have all come from many different backgrounds, had many different ups and downs in our lives but there is one thing we all have in common that is we are seeking help and guidence to overcome our mental illnesses. We offer advice, support and encouragement to each and everyone of us, to lift us up of the ground and to give us a helping hand when we are in need of someone willing to offer their hand in our time of need. As we get pulled up of the ground by each of us, we say thankyou and give that person a hug. That person is also willing to offer their shoulder to have a cry on, an ear to listen to us and a mouth to voice support and encouragement. To each and everyone of you i say: THANKYOU, I HAVE FAITH IN YOU, I BELIEVE IN YOU, I ENCOURAGE YOU, BE STRONG, BE DEFIANT AND STAND TALL. We will all make it and that it will be ok. To Beyond Blue: From the bottom of my heart THANKYOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND ONGOING SUPPORT TO EACH OF US. I think all of us should give Beyond Blue a big round of applause for the advice, support and encouragement they have all given and continue to give us all. Kind Regards Chris

Dexter2748 Don't want to leave my bed..
  • replies: 2

For the past week I've spent a lot of time in bed, I don't ever really feel like leaving. I've cancelled plans with friends, experienced anxiety over having to go to work and I feel pretty numb most of the day. I've got a great doctor, fantastic psyc... View more

For the past week I've spent a lot of time in bed, I don't ever really feel like leaving. I've cancelled plans with friends, experienced anxiety over having to go to work and I feel pretty numb most of the day. I've got a great doctor, fantastic psychologist and a big support system yet I'm scared of everything, everyone. I try to focus on getting better but is it common to experience massive lows like this while seeking help? I'm just so tired, so anxious, so completely over feeling so distant from the rest of the world.

chociloni what happens in hospital?
  • replies: 8

I feel Im almost at a point to go to hospital. Ive already seen a psych, plus a mental health nurse and they both think itd be worse for me if I was to go in there, and worse for me to change meds. How can this be? What is supposed to help? Im gettin... View more

I feel Im almost at a point to go to hospital. Ive already seen a psych, plus a mental health nurse and they both think itd be worse for me if I was to go in there, and worse for me to change meds. How can this be? What is supposed to help? Im getting worse. I cant see a way out of whats happening. My life cannot go on with the same thought patterns, or loneliness, or poverty, so Its supposed to be ok for me to just stay in this mental space? Im just supposed to live a comprimised half life forever? Thats all there is for me?