I see the world for what it really is.

[BabySteps]

I have to accept that after my mothers gone, That I only will have my twin brother and that everyone else is vain and brief. I know that no one cares but also that the world is socially superficial and in general your made to feel like a second class citizen if your under certain diagnoses. I absolutely can't live in a world if I can't be genuine or authentic. If anyone tells me what to think. I can't exist in a seemingly vain, fake world.

I hate living in a world where you can't truthfully be confident with being who you are. Everyone is fully embracing the current decade or the way things are, People bully you for any reason and you can't choose the generation your from or anything else. I am tired of being who I am and made to feel wither I'm weird, not only did I not ask for the opinion of anyone else but I don't want to be generic or defined by anyone else. I had to miss out on my dreams to pursue identity and chase my interests & I blame the degeneracy and insecurity of potential people in society as one huge factor. It's also mixed with being discriminated and defined beneath a psychiatry diagnosis that I don't agree with and also my suffering during high school. I had all that on top of my own under confidence and insecurities.

I hate how the world has always made people feel less valuable than celebrities just because their financially rich and with global popularity, regardless of what kind of person that famous individual is inside or what their reputation is. A regular person can't be confrontational because if their regular their not being sane.

[randomxx]

That's great being so interested in nutrition l think you could find a way into that.

My sisters very highly educated so spent a lot of time in the system and when my daughter was disappointed with her results my sister said look don't worry about those there's always a way to get into things.

And she was right , my d found quite a few alternatives actually so don't give up don't rely on the job agencies poke about and search yourself that's what she did she hates them but went back to them once she'd found what she wanted and got them to help her into it. Said you've just gotta get the right person though , often the case with lots of things that. She changed them up until she got someone that actually did something.

There's all kinds of incentives to get you into any of the educational segments to they've offered her all kinds of things, even 5k moving money.

My mum was very religious , l've never been myself but she was involved in all sorts of things with different groups.

Anyway, don't give up.

[BabySteps]

Yeah 100% it's always about the right person, that's why I ended up getting my licence at 26 because I had the right driver instructor and O.T. only at the very end. But before that I had not liked the other teachers and I had a feud with one of my old ones. The first two O.T.'s were not suitable for me either. After a year of being virtually ignored by my original O.T. with emails, mobile texts and phone calls from myself and the older instructor. She discriminated me under the diagnosis and came back only to tell me I won't achieve my licence, what to do and wither I'm wasting my money. Then we spoke to Vic Roads and she told me a O.T. is not suppose to make you feel intimidated, that it was my decision wither I want to continue. The sad thing though too is that I only could actively afford my driving since I have the Centrelink.

[randomxx]

Btw,l wouldn't put so much in anyone's educational reach. Some of the most successful people in the world , billionaires and all sorts, were drop outs or didn't even go to yr 10 yep, were dyslexic, all kinds of things. We've even had a prime minister here that only went to yr 10 and guess what, the say he failed maths but he was treasurer of the country before that so yaknow. My own dad only went to yr 9 but he built 3 business owned property all over Victoria and was one of the smartest men you'd ever meet.

Higher education doesn't always mean clever or above average intelligence matter of fact l've met quite a few that were thick as planks, even my sister said same, not to say all but just sayin.

[randomxx]

Good for you well done eh.

And that was disgusting they'd treated you that way and actually discouraged you. Sadly l've heard that one before but once again, right people and you can achieve anything. Never listen to the other's though if you know in your heart they're wrong and those sorts usually are.

Anyway hang in there where there's a will there's away.

rx

[BabySteps]

That's absolutely true. Your Dad seems really impressive that he has lead a really ideal prosperous life. It's not so much about wither others fit the definition of wither their generically believed to be smarter or dumber.

It's just more if you have legitimate set backs, like being under a poor father figure, that doesn't care about your problems or life and thinks if your disabled and only wants a quiet house, being bullied during high school and until your early twenties, and told many un wanted things and mistreated in a lot of ways. It's harder to believe in yourself if you don't have suitable direction for jobs and have much economic opportunities and with a national recession as of now. I hate knowing that I only could achieve my licence & own a vehicle because of having Centrelink, while having a occupational therapist telling me that I wouldn't get my licence and that I should quit trying.

But also how being diagnosed with pre diabetes in my early twenties and being tragically mistaken to be under psychiatry & it's on going and since twelve years ago. My only problems are educated therapists, they treat your intelligence as superficial or as generalising, but they generalise you hypocritically based on which ever diagnosis your given. They treat you as indenyl or lacking insight if you respectively don't agree with any diagnosis. The say their experts so their egotistical and admit to thinking that their flawless. They don't even apologies if your given permanent side effects from their medication.

[randomxx]

Yeah you did so well with your licence , bloody well done. but yeah , another people example right there hey. Don't ever let anyone tell you stuff like that if you know in your heart it's wrong. Buttt, don't get me wrong l know how hard it is to find the right people, sometimes we're forced to deal with what we get, but yaknow,if we can it can change everything.

That instructor should've been de licensed treating you like that but unfortunately it's all through , like your doctors. Some people can go of and get through the educational part of it but that doesn't mean they're any good at the actual work a lot of them should be in something else imo.

My d's had a ridiculous run with them to she's bp but just late last yr she just accidentality really, finally stumbled over this very good doctor and she gave her all the letters and what have you that she'd needed and helped her so much. The rest were useless, actually more trouble than help.

And, after being hassled by fools at job agencies 2yrs, she finally stumbled over the right guy in that too, he was the one put her onto this doctor actually and has stuck with her he's been fantastic to , finally.

lf you can work towards moving out l think things would change a lot with your dad. lt's really hard being a parent sometimes and very very exhausting especially if there's been mh and physical health problems right through.But it'd be great for you to to get out there independent and started in life.

Anyway hang in and l still think if your so interested in nutrition that's fantastic your ahead of the pack right there and really , your lucky to know and have something your so into so don;t give up on that you'll get there.

[BabySteps]

I've never liked my father and that's already a frustrating thing to be financially stuck with him. He knows that I don't agree with my diagnosis, but now abuses to say wither I'm disabled, that I'm inept, pale, weak, soft and that if I cook anything I will burn the house down, that I shouldn't be driving, Wither I want to work too. He blackmails me that my pension is a allowance even when it's not money given by my immediate family. He tries to make me seem loaded for having a DSP. That University won't get job's or that employers don't mandate a person to have their driving, everyone knows you need to be viable and flexible. He only cares about himself and he only sympathies when it's someone outside his immediate family.

I went through six years with high school bullies where I was verbally told constant crap, they tried comparing my appearance to Michael Jackson and they would otherwise call me names and make fun of my voice. I had food knocked out of my hands, I had been jabbed and slapped by the idiots. One called me a dog at his worst moment. The other one kept ruining my hair and messing it up on photo day. He also spat soft drink on me and once took my shoe off and kicked it across a muddy wet footy oval. I had him scratch my hands, wrist or arms with his nails and make my skin bleed. He would constantly tell me I am anxiety. Then after high school for five years, one of them kept telling me I am going to be fat tradie loser like my Dad and that I am faking my reason to claim Centrelink and that he would pay back in full to the government. The other one was telling me wither I'm pale, a bogan, insecure, desperate, jealous, wither I'm a rank 1 virgin, rock bottom or wither I'm claiming the workers taxes. They both were laughing about my diabetes diagnosis too and telling me suck in a way to be told to enjoy it or that I'm tarnished to make it worse.

I had a occupational therapist telling me that I won't get my licence and to quit driving. 

I've been WRONGLY diagnosed with Schizophrenia since 2013 and I'm stuck on un needed medication, now diagnosed too with pre diabetes, I've got belly stretch marks and no gallbladder also because of whatever the meds did to me. The therapists would never believe that I'm wrongly diagnosed either.

Everyone makes me feel different or special, and I'm either invalidated with my pain or made to feel it's just sad.

[james1]

Hello BabySteps,

Thank you for telling us about your experience with the high school bullies. That sounds dreadful, and I'm sad to hear you were bullied so badly. I don't really know what to say, except that I hope you know, deep down, that they were wrong.

I hear you when you say everyone makes you feel different. It seems that's been happening since you were young, and you are tired of feeling like an outsider.

I wonder if you came here, hoping to find a group where people would understand you, or at least not make you feel weird?

Something I've noticed about these forums is that a lot of adults go about their lives feeling really quite alone. It's very sad, and especially hard when people have had a history of being ostracised. In my own case, I find it hard to be close to people because I had a difficult home environment while growing up. I don't know if I'll ever move past a lot of that, but I've made some nice connections through board games, books, and coffee. I guess that helps me feel a bit more positive about people, even if I still find it tough to make friends.

James