I feel like I don't fit in anywhere

[Double_K]

Hi everyone,

im new to this so I'm a little wary about it all.

ive been feeling down lately and I feel like I don't fit in anywhere

[Guest_4]

"Just get out there and be yourself"

is the worst advice I've ever been given and completely regret trying to follow it for so long.

[smallwolf]

unknownuser,

That very statement was made to me by a psych last year. I was going through a process that incl. a psych component to check my suitability etc. I was told "not ready" so I spoke to the psych to find out why, and that was one of comments that was made to me.

Almost as good as "get over it" or "there are others worse off than you". As for picking myself up, that is currently something I am working on with my psych. I have to find fun activities to do and activities that would give me a sense of accomplishment. My psych gave me two lists to go through. Find my thread called "A Common Story" and you can find out more there.

Like Dools, I have a friend that takes me out for coffee each week and we can both rant about work, but he also the wants to know (make sure) that I am coping OK. Just one idea to add to the list, but walking also helps me reduce anxiety/depression - but I think that is also because it removes me from the source of my problem(s)... a computer screen ... and I am a software developer.

Anyways... if you want to chat....

[demonblaster]

Hi K and all

K sorry but I really needed that giggle actually more than a giggle tbh with your spello before, thanks for that although probably unintentional gave me some reprieve 🙂 Hope that hasn't annoyed you lol.

Sounds like you're doing the right things to lift, writing down things, gym (good on you) walking, it's great isn't it and yes I think too just simply getting out of the house for a while being amongst it can be very stimulating without all the goods thrown in with exercising which later does help lift I find. Nice a quick hi and smile with people or chat.

Very happy you have a friend/mentor that helps. Nice to have someone that gets us isn't it.

Hope you're all having at least reasonable days 🙂

[Double_K]

Wow!!!

its been quite a while since I was on here. I had a great run of feeling really good, but something very bad happened and I feel as though I have fallen down once again. It's not just what's happened, but I feel as though I have angered a friend whom is dear to me, but don't know how to approach it all.

[smallwolf]

DoubleK,

Hi. Yes it has been a while. I hope you dont mind if I ask some questions ....

This thing that was very bad, do you feel as though you were the cause (wholly responsible)? Or were you part of a group? or team? My psychologist gets me to the challenge my thoughts when I have those sorts of thoughts? And generally I find that I am using emotional reasoning, or just a cog in the system and not wholly to blame.

Secondly, from when you were last here, what tools or techniques did you use to rise up again? Have you tried those out again?

Lastly, the friend that you fear you have angered... do they know what you have been going through? An apology with an explanation goes a long way. A guy and I had a coffee the other week. It went for about an hour, and then he had to go. I spoke with him the next day about something else and he apologised for the way he was "acting". I saw nothing in it (when we had coffee) but the fact was, he felt bad, and I accepted his apology. Sometimes, no communication is worse. Letting the perceived anger grow, or sadness grow. Which way the conversation goes, it can be helpful or liberating to get things off your chest, out of your head. Maybe not in this instance, but being assertive (or taking the initiative here) to do something positive?

Tim

[Sylvia_T]

Hello, I'm just upset that I don't fit in anywhere. I'm slow at learning things, I'm bad at understanding what people are talking about and I just don't understand why I am so dumb. I want to be able to pick things up quickly, and to be able to fit into social groups better but I just never can. Can someone tell me what I should do?

[demonblaster]

Hi Double K and everyone ☺

Good to see you again Double K ☺ but a shame you're struggling again going by your October post.

I'm hopeful you might have picked up again since your last post in October.

Thank goodness for the up times even if they don't last long it gives us hope that it's achievable again which with the right guidance whether from professionals or other factors like the people we're around amongst other reasons can make the difference

You sounded so upset in your last post. I hope with your friend it got sorted.

It's very difficult as you'd know in hard times especially
being up and then down. It can feel like failure but it's really not.
Life throws many hards and at times often in a clump.
It's quite normal and understandable to feel overwhelmed.

I've found by directing my focus from being so aware and concentrating on the hurting to knowing mostly eventually situations change we get more sleep and every day brings on a new start.
Even small pieces of light we can create by looking for things in your life that give or have given you pleasure. Could be something you're working towards whether travel a project study craft music etc.
This can be hard when we're consumed by pain but it's do able. It gives us a break and something to hold onto for pulling back up.

You may not need this support Double I hope not. Never forget Double you've in the past pulled through. Power to you btw. So glad hearing that ☺

Might see you here again sometime. If not good wishes for a good life 😊

⚘

[demonblaster]

Hi there Syvia T ☺ welcome to this incredibly good place.

You poor thing you sound so sad and down on yourself.
Awful feeling like that isn't it. It can be very demoralizing and plays havoc on self esteem.

I imagine you may not think so but I'm sure you have several great qualities that how you're feeling's hiding.

A start to self healing is to look into yourself if you can from an outside perspective and concentrate on your goods too. Everyone has them hun 😊 and I have no doubt if you look deep and be honest with yourself you'll see

There are several ways to get help out there hun. You'll find we're often quite capable of way more than we think too.
It helps no end being gentle and kinder to ourselves which we tend to neglect not on purpose it's just we get smothered by pain. Too much fun hey 😐

I understand feeling as you do it's horrid. Good news which with some work and desire slowly but surely I'm as I have no doubt you and many others can slowly build our strength and self like. We need it.

I suggest hun if you create a thread of your own, you could let us know here what you name it, you'd have a better chance of more support lovey

If you're unsure how on page 1 of Forum FAQ which is in the Red rectangle boxes up top you can see how to start one.

Hold in there darl depression & anxiety can be controlled.

I'm not always posting a lot in general but will talk to you for sure at some point. Don't want you or anyone thinking I'm ignoring, no no no

Cyaz ⚘