I can't bring myself to do anything

[Rock]

I don't usually reach out like this because I'm a very secretive person, but I'm just so desperate right now. I've had severe depression for years now. I'm stuck in a real bad down time at the moment. I've been on medication for a while which has blunted my emotions and stopped my panic attacks. I can usually pick myself up, at least enough, after a week or so but this time it's just not faltering. I just can't bring myself to DO anything. I've tried making a schedule and just forcing myself but I just end up feeling even more empty and lost. I used to be so passionate about art and studying just for the fun of it. Nothing feels fun now, not even games, and I just sit here all day doing nothing. I don't know how to kick myself into action. Please, if anyone has any suggestions, I'd really appreciate it.

[james1]

Aha sorry I didn't mean nice in any way, just that you had a tablet rather than mouse.

​Ive got the basic wacom one but the drawing space is so small! Do you follow any websites that teach basics? I find it really hard transitioning from paper to tablet.

[Rock]

Mine's a small basic wacom too. Maybe we have the same one. I still find paper to feel much more natural, but what helped me a lot was spending a couple days playing around with the brush settings in whatever program you use. I used to use photoshop but I primarily use Paint Tool SAI now and I love it. I've used quite a few tutorials on deviantart and they've helped me a lot. You don't need an account or anything, just type tutorial into the search bar, or you can be more specific, or you can search for brush settings and packs, if you'd like. It might be helpful. Even youtube might have something.

[james1]

Hey Jenny, just checking in and seeing how you're going? Have you been to the new psychologist for a second session?

James

[Rock]

Hello, thanks for checking. Sorry for the late reply. Yeah I did. It went pretty good and might go on new meds soon. Can't say I've been good, but I have been mostly okay by managing to distract myself. How have you been?

[james1]

Hey Jenny, great to hear from you! That's great news that your second session went well.

I've been pretty down as well. My mood keeps changing and, while I've usually been really good at detaching myself (which is not a good thing either!), I feel physically anxious and wanting to throw up all the time (even though I"m not feeling emotionally anxious). So maybe my facade is starting to crack a bit!

Have you been able to distract yourself through art or is that a bit challenging at the moment?

James

[Rock]

I hate feeling so anxious I feel sick, it's awful. I hope you're feeling a bit better by now.

Yes, I have been doing a bit of art but it's still hard to stay focused. I managed to finish one small drawing the other day.