Feeling hopeless

[Mandy2787]

I'm off to the Dr on Monday. I need to start feeling better about myself!

i can't stop feeling like I'm worthless and useless. I can't stop crying that nothing seems to go right in life and fail at everything.

since moving from Sydney to Brisbane a few years ago, everything's gone wrong. From having two great jobs to not being able to get more than 7 interviews in 10mths with no success. I lost a baby at 14wks. I moved to a state where I didn't know a single soul other than my partner. Making friends as an adult is so so hard!! And it's so lonely.

we've now moved to Victoria, still no friends. Every time family are down I never get a call, text.. Nothing. I feel as though I mustn't be good enough to be around. Like I mustn't be an enjoyable person to be around. I just want to be included and thought of. Whenever I call family , I rarely get a hold of anyone and I don't get a return call. Fair enough if I had caused a problem or done something wrong to people, but I haven't. It feels like people were happy I moved away and now want nothing to do with me or can't be bothered.

I do have a beautiful 1yo daughter and I want to be a happy, positive influence on her.

i do work, other than that I lack time to have hobbies as my daughter is still so young.

I feel so down all the time. if it wasn't for my daughter I really don't think I'd be here. I never get asked to come to functions, celebrations nothing. And I'm not a downer around people, I just want to be included.

i just don't know how to get out of this funk and stop feeling down and negative all the time. I'm over crying. I'm over hurting and stressing about things that I should just let go of. I want a positive outlook on life but nothing goes right or how it should be.

im worried about anti depressants and what the next step should be, but I can't keep crying day in day out. I'm over it. This can't be how life is meant to be, if it is.. It sucks!

[Guest_322]

Hi Mandy2787,

Thank you for trusting us with your story here. Also, I'm glad that you will be seeing your dr on Monday- doctors can be an integral part of one's support system.

You're hurting, lonely and your confidence has suffered in a very big way. I, for one, don't think that you're "worthless and useless." I think sometimes when our confidence is shattered that our brains end up lying to us about our lack of self worth. But that's not true. For starters, you're worth something to your 1 year old daughter- you're probably her world and that's definitely not being "worthless and useless."

Not feeling included can be excruciating; it's like you're on the outside looking in. And desperately wanting "in." I hear ya- it's a very painful feeling.

I know that you really want a more positive outlook. While maybe your current state of mind isn't where you want it to be, I think that seeking support here as well as your upcoming appointment with your dr are both brave steps forward.

Thinking of you and please continue posting if you're feeling lonely, down or just want to talk.

- Dottie

[Starwolf]

Hi Mandy,

Welcome to you. You are right...this is not how life is supposed to be. Well done for taking the brave and wise step towards becoming proactive. I hope today's appointment will usher in a new beginning.

Having family turning their back on you is heartbreaking. Have you thought of asking them why you have been ostracised ? Perhaps express your feelings in a letter, if face to face conversation is too daunting. If people are honest, a direct approach will shed light on their behaviour. If not, there is little to lose. It is always best to know where you stand and also consider the point of view of other people involved.

If they're not all that interested in interacting with you, you may have to turn elsewhere to connect with people whose company you enjoy and vice-versa. You may need to join in some activity or hobby, even volunteering. Finding me time is not always easy while caring for a young child but it is a necessity.You deserve a fulfilling life and your daughter deserves a happy Mum.

You are not useless or worthless. For a start, being a mother makes you everything but. So please don't let those who don't appreciate you impact on your self esteem and confidence. There are plenty others out there whose opinion would be different. But you must put yourself out there to meet them. There are many lonely people who -like you- crave company and would be grateful for yours.

Kindest thoughts.