How do you keep on trying

[Maureen]

I've been reading the various posts on BB forum and am gobsmacked at how so many of you keep on trying to get better. I'm currently going through my 3rd episode of major depression and anxiety, over a year now. This episode just came out of the blue and has hit so hard I  haven't been able to work for the past year. I'm on my 4th anti depressant and finally one seems to be helping. I don't spend the day crying on the couch. I can sometimes get out in the garden, sew, cook. But... I can't seem to do what I should to help myself get better.

I've tried 3 psychologists this time without finding one to assist. I know I should keep going but am so sick of telling my story I can't be bothered, I find it mortifying that I am this way, and that I always cry telling my story. I know I should stop binge eating sugary foods, but can't. I know I should exercise but I don't. I know I should join social groups (I live alone and have a few friends who aren't available often for socialising), but I don't. Also socially phobic.

How do you keep trying? How do you remain hopeful that it will get better? Although I have found a bit of peace, it doesn't feel real, like I'm just hiding or postponing the bad bits.

[suecat]

Hello, Maureen.

I noticed the heading of this thread, because this is how I feel too. I haven't had bad depression for many years, but have ongoing anxiety and a general 'depressed' feeling. I have been taking antidepressants for a long time now.

I can't seem to do anything about this 'doing nothing', even though I can see the way things are. I stay home for days at a time, and only go out when I've got a specific place to go. 

I do volunteer at my local library, and also a residential care facility, one morning a week at each. When I'm out like that everything seems mostly 'normal', but when I get home it's back to not feeling able to do things I know I should and could be doing. I see a psychologist every few weeks, which is good to keep a kind of awareness going.

I am the same with my pets as you. I have two cats who keep me going, I often put off going out to the shops, but have to go when I run out of cat food! I have a tabby named Furrgus, and a tortie, Midnight Opal.

Funny about the sugar thing ... I very rarely crave sugar or chocolate. With me it's savoury stuff, nuts, chips, and in particular, cheese and bikkies!

All the best to you. I think being aware, even if we are finding it difficult to DO things, is a big part of it, too.

[Stafford1]

Hi Maureen my name is Stafford married and father of two beautiful angels. 

After reading ur story i feel the need to share mine with u and I will tell u what work or not.

ive been fighting depression for 5 years made a suicide attempt you name it.

ive tried every antidepressant available for the first 3 years but i kept crashing again. I've seen a paychologist for 1 1/2 year didn't help. You know why nothing was helping because first i should have seen a psychiatrist who would provide medication to stabilise ur mood. When ur stable enough then see a psychologist who will be able to help and you will be stable and able to work with ur psychologist.

i'm now no more seeing a psychologist nor a psychiatrist on a regular basis I'm on antidepressant and mood stabilisers. And now my aim in life is to help people suffering from mental illness to get through their hurdles holding their hand. 

My daignosis is bipolar2 I've been left for dead and came back and so happy now that I know why I came back if i can help 1 person it will be worth it.

Maureen dont give up follow those steps:1)psychiatrist 

2) paychologist

3) meditation

4) very important one family come first sometimes we forget.

good luck

Stafford Begue

[Maureen]

Thank you suecat for your response. I too would like to start volunteering somewhere but that will have to wait til I'm more stable. Good on you getting out there and trying.

[Maureen]

Hello Stafford. What you are suggesting makes so much sense. No one has suggested a mood stabilizer as yet. I am incoherent with incessant crying when I see the psychologists. I've given up on them. I'm currently coming off of one of 2 anti depressants due to side effects and no change to symptoms. Not fun. Seeing psychiatrist next week where I think shell take me off the other, again due to side effects. As everyone on these forums know it takes so long to come off, and then so long to notice any changes to the new meds. Very hard to deal with.

Thanks so much Stafford. So lovely to hear you're doing so well now.

Maureen

[White_Rose]

Hello Maureen

Sorry to have left you alone for a while. My GP explained how the different groups of ADs worked and which brain receptor they targeted. It was most enlightening. A friend of mine said she has periodic times of depression and was prescribed one of the older types of AD which worked very well for her.

My GP has said it appears that the SSRI and SNRI drugs are not good for me because of the dreadful side effects which I cannot tolerate. She has prescribed one of the oldest group for me.  Don't know if there will be side effects or how effective it will be. Only taken taken it for two days but I do feel a little better even though it is unusual for them to take effect so soon.

So when you talk to your psychiatrist ask her to explain how ADs work and which group of ADs she is prescribing. Sometimes they don't think to use the older drugs because they are a little 'old hat'. But maybe they will suit you. No harm in asking.

Psychologists are expensive. Once you have used up your subsidized number of visits there is not a lot more you can do. I certainly cannot afford to pay a psychologist which is why it is fortunate I see a psych attached to a charitable service. No cost. Psychiatrists fees can be claimed on Medicare so there is a much smaller amount to pay. However I did hear of a psychiatrist who charged $500 a visit. At that rate he must be so wonderful it would only take a couple of visits to him to be cured.

Please keep us posted.

Mary

[Maureen]

Hello Mary, I hope the new medication is well tolerated and eases your depression. I have been researching the various types of anti depressants to try to understand how they work. Yup, Dr google. Helps me feel I'm doing something positive. As mentioned previously my gp advised she didn't know much about the drugs, then my psychiatrist advised 'they don't really understand how the drugs work'. But she's had a lot of people respond to this one so we'll try that. Yup I'm super confident in the abilities of my medical support. My new gp however is confident in her ability to assist so we'll see how I go. 

After reviewing numerous threads on this forum I feel I've learnt so much about my illness, ways to deal with it, and understanding there is no quick fix. Brilliant place these BB forums.

Maureen