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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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sunset Am I Beaten ?
  • replies: 9

I have had severe anxiety and depression for the last nine months. I think it was triggered after taking a small amount of powder cocaine last summer. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, but I was feeling quite dissapointed with my life at the time. ... View more

I have had severe anxiety and depression for the last nine months. I think it was triggered after taking a small amount of powder cocaine last summer. I knew it was a stupid thing to do, but I was feeling quite dissapointed with my life at the time. I didn't like my job, was always arguing with and resenting my girlfriend, I couldn't keep seem to keep still, not sleeping well and drinking and smoking a bit of cannabis every weekend. This went on for a few years. It wasn't great, but it was manageable and I felt ok most of the time. Then things got worse with my job and girlfriend and I just thought what is the point of being stuck in this situation I hate for the rest of my life ? I thought the cocaine might help me enjoy life and I could keep it under control. I had tried it once quite a few years ago.It did what I expected, but not for long. Shortly after taking it I felt fantastic, but then a few days later I was sitting with my girlfriend and felt a sensation in my head like the blood was draining out. Then I started feeling really dizzy and had a massive panic attack and sort of felt like I wasn't real. I tried going to bed and sleeping it off but found I couldn't sleep. These symptoms have continued ever since along with depression and anxiety of a magnitude I never thought possible. I threw away all the cocaine when these symptoms first started and haven't touched any since.I have been doing lots of walking, eating very healthily, trying to do the CA program, cutting down caffeine and nicotine, tracking my mood in a spreadsheet every day and trying to get on with normal things. The insomnia did get better after a few months, maybe after I quit alcohol and I have improved since then in other areas as well. But I am still very depressed and have feelings of overwhelming guilt. I see the bad in everything most of the time and get intrusive thoughts that make me totally hate myself. Things look empty and meaningless and I can't really find enjoyment or pleasure in anything I do.I tried an antidepressant briefly but it made me feel really bad. I couldn't sleep and was having bizarre thoughts so I had to stop after 2 days. I am very frightened of the side effects of prescription drugs and if my problem is essentially addiction, then how can they help because anti depressants are not a silver bullet for addiction.In the evening after dinner when the sun sets is my favorite time because I usually feel a sense of relative peace and optimism descend on me.

myfears59 Nothing helps
  • replies: 8

I like a lot of people here suffer major depression and anxiety. I cry everyday, feel ill and nervous, hate my life and do not want to be here anymore. I've been through all the steps taking meds which are sickening and cause so many side effects it'... View more

I like a lot of people here suffer major depression and anxiety. I cry everyday, feel ill and nervous, hate my life and do not want to be here anymore. I've been through all the steps taking meds which are sickening and cause so many side effects it's just stupid, I have a Pschycologist, I've seen pschychiatrists, I've been in hospital, I've done writing exercises, mindful practices, exercise, healthy eating, taking vitamins and so much more I haven't written.I asked my Pschycologist one day when she was giving me advice if she'd ever been through anxiety and depression, her answer was no. And there you have it, the people that try to help have usually never been through this debilitating mental torture and it's all just text book to them. I have never felt any relief or felt any better after years of treatment. I work full time as a student supervisor/disability support worker, I was a team leader for 6 yrs, I go to work everyday with no passion for my job anymore and hating every minute of it. My weekends consist of crying and dreading Monday's. I have to work to survive but I wish I could leave, the current team leader is an opinionated, heartless cow who is the managers gay partner so staff do not have a leg to stand on. That is a conflict of interest right there but we can't do anything about it. I have no back up plan, I'm 56 1/2 yrs old and I do not drive so I can't change services either.I have 2 daughters and 3 grandkids that live away from home. I live by myself and I feel alone, isolated and forgotten, even though my mum and brothers live close by, they have their own lives. I have no one to talk to, I don't have any close friends and I've been single for 13 yrs after separating from a mentally and emotionally abusive de facto husband of 23yrs. All I know is I hate living, I'm not suicidal though. Everyday is torture and I know for a fact no treatments work because I've tried it all. So all I can do is just keep living in hell everyday and wait for this nightmare to hurry and end. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:8.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:107%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

aidjm If your depression were a physical creature, what would it be?
  • replies: 118

I started thinking about this a few weeks back, and I wanted to get some other people's insights. I've done a bit of writing just for something to do, and I was thinking about writing a story about a person whose depression manifests itself as a phys... View more

I started thinking about this a few weeks back, and I wanted to get some other people's insights. I've done a bit of writing just for something to do, and I was thinking about writing a story about a person whose depression manifests itself as a physical being. For me, I kind of pictured it as a big black lizard-thing that sits on my shoulders and digs in with its claws, and doesn't want to let go. What about you guys?

Astara So tired of pretending
  • replies: 4

I haven't been here for a while and have been a reader rather than much of a poster but am so exhausted pretending to be okay that I need somewhere to say that I'm really not okay. My partner of 8 1/2 years left me in March. I wasn't really expecting... View more

I haven't been here for a while and have been a reader rather than much of a poster but am so exhausted pretending to be okay that I need somewhere to say that I'm really not okay. My partner of 8 1/2 years left me in March. I wasn't really expecting it although in hindsight I guess he couldn't deal with my depression and anxiety. I spoke to my doc when it initially happened and allowed myself a period of grief but now everyone seems to expect me to be over it and moving on and I can't. I cry constantly still. Work and everyday interactions tire me out so much I have no energy to cook or clean etc. I am losing friends as I cancel on them all the time as the thought of going out and pretending to have fun is so exhausting. Exercise is the only thing I enjoy but am probably moving into an obsessive addiction to that as I feel so terrible if I miss a day. I went on a holiday with a group of people and again the pretending to have fun tested my limits. I cried when alone every chance I got out of exhaustion. I'm not suicidal but I cried the other day when almost got hit on a pedestrian crossing accidentally and in that split second before the driver was able to stop I had a tremendous sense of relief at the thought that "this is it". I was devastated when they were able to stop. Ive had counselling, previously taken medication. I know all the tools. I'm not asking for tips or help as I don't think there is anything that can help. I guess I just keep pretending and hope one day it falls into my new reality.

iamthecheese Empty and alone
  • replies: 2

I am 25 years old, and have a masters degree in accounting. After graduating in May 2014, I got a job in October 2014 as an estimator at a lighting distributor company. I hated it. Offices are not my thing, which is a shame because my degree almost d... View more

I am 25 years old, and have a masters degree in accounting. After graduating in May 2014, I got a job in October 2014 as an estimator at a lighting distributor company. I hated it. Offices are not my thing, which is a shame because my degree almost demands I work in an office setting. I was fired in April of this year due to being caught applying for another job on a company computer. Yes, I'm aware this was very stupid, and have been reminded by everyone I've told. So please... do not refer to this as I'm aware what I did was stupid. Honestly though, I was happy that I was fired because I hated working there. It is now 5 months later and I am still jobless, largely in part by my lack of search for a job. I find it difficult to search for a job when I have no motivating factors to get one, other than to move out of my parents home. I feel empty inside all the time and lonely. But it is if my body/mind has gotten used to being lonely, so I don't even feel it anymore. I have the worst luck when it comes to women. I have had one serious relationship in my 25 years of living, and it got messed up and now she's with someone else. I am overweight. I feel like as if my heart is completely broken in half and there is no fixing it. I can't even currently imagine finding the feelings for someone. I used to get a heart sinking feeling in my chest with loneliness and now I am just numb. I can experience laughter and I wouldnt say I'm severely depressed because I actually have gotten to the point where I feel absolutely nothing. I'm not even sure how much physical pain could effect me at this point. My parents are getting tired of me not having a job. I have applied for some jobs, and am currently applying to some more. But my dad just came into my room screaming about how he cant sleep because of what Im doing to him. ... Because what I'm doing is deliberate clearly... I know that once I get a job and move out, my parents are going to see so much less of me. Another part of my understands where they are coming from, and knows that I am lucky to have parents that are willing to let me live with them. In no way am I saying that I have it worse of than some other people, but in my opinion it's all relative. I have seen a therapist recently, and I honestly feel like it is little to no help to me because I recognize what is wrong and I just feel too unmotivated to fix it.

Marys Distressing time.
  • replies: 9

Hi I am going through a horrible / distressing time....friends are telling me to take one hour / one day at a time...I am trying to...however is there any other helpful hints people have out there..??At the moment it is very difficult to see the ligh... View more

Hi I am going through a horrible / distressing time....friends are telling me to take one hour / one day at a time...I am trying to...however is there any other helpful hints people have out there..??At the moment it is very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel..

Raven666 Frustration and anger
  • replies: 4

Why do people keep insisting that I'm faking it? Do they realize how damaging that is to someone with depression and anxiety!!!?? No I don't show any outward signs of symptoms but that do t mean squat. I've been told I'm of the rare percentage of peo... View more

Why do people keep insisting that I'm faking it? Do they realize how damaging that is to someone with depression and anxiety!!!?? No I don't show any outward signs of symptoms but that do t mean squat. I've been told I'm of the rare percentage of people who don't follow the book. That instead of fight or flight I freeze. Just because I don't show outward symptoms doesn't mean I'm faking it. You can't fake having depression or anxiety.

Nick86 Needing to be proved wrong.
  • replies: 6

Hi all, New member in need of guidance and support and basically to find my happiness again. I have a daughter who is my breath of fresh air and my reason for holding on to the my small thread of happiness. i am her hero and she has unconditional lov... View more

Hi all, New member in need of guidance and support and basically to find my happiness again. I have a daughter who is my breath of fresh air and my reason for holding on to the my small thread of happiness. i am her hero and she has unconditional love for me which is a feeling that keeps a real smile on my face as opposed to a drawn on one. I have been on anti-depressants for a little over 4 years after experiencing my first anxiety attack. All stemming from past family history and the break up of my past relationship with my daughters mum ( who surprisingly is the driving force behind me finding myself again) She is happy and has moved on and is engaged, i am happy for her as she deserves the world. guess the problem is that i am holding on to the small amount of happiness i once experienced and finding it hard to let go and move on with a healthy lifestyle . i don't know if want to get into my past family history just now but i can advise that my childhood had multiple contributing factors as to why i am not happy. I apologise if my thread is a little confusing and cryptic... basically i feel as though i don't deserve to be on anti-depresants and in my own point pf view feel as though i am weak for seeking help to find happiness and don't want to spiral down the dark hole of chronic depression. i am no where near that stage and don't want to ever be near the edge. thanks for listening Happy Friday Nick

Sparkles183 regretting ever seeking help
  • replies: 50

A few months ago I could see myself slipping back into depression, so I went to the GP to get a mental health plan. Now I am regretting ever seeking help as everything I have tried does not seem to work which frustrates me and makes me angry inside. ... View more

A few months ago I could see myself slipping back into depression, so I went to the GP to get a mental health plan. Now I am regretting ever seeking help as everything I have tried does not seem to work which frustrates me and makes me angry inside. I see both a psychologist and my GP every few weeks but in reality I don’t know why I bother they both must think I am a drama queen and wasting their time it is not like they listen to me anyway. And my psychologist even told me that I am choosing to walk in depression (which annoyed me because I know that it is not true) I tried meds a few weeks ago but had a bad reaction to them and I am not allowed to try anything else until 4 to 5 weeks after my last dose. This is the first time I ever reached out to get medical attention for my depression and follow through with the treatment plan, but now I am regretting it as I feel it has triggered my anxiety more than anything. I faced an 18 month battle of depression on and off and won once before without any help. Even though this depressive episode has only been for the last few months some reason it feels different and kind of worse as I can no longer cry anymore but really feel like I need to cry I know I need help to get through this depressive episode but when I do reach out for help no one listens to me. And they say I am choosing to walk in depression. I faced this battle once before and won without any help and I know I can do it again.

allisonwonderland depression or anxiety? Or neither?
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I've just recently fallen into another one of what I've named "bad patches," where a trigger pushes me into a month or two of lethargy, low mood and anxiety (more so than usual). It's not all day every day, because I can be distracted, b... View more

Hi everyone, I've just recently fallen into another one of what I've named "bad patches," where a trigger pushes me into a month or two of lethargy, low mood and anxiety (more so than usual). It's not all day every day, because I can be distracted, but it's a general feeling of grey with days of true sadness. Last week I was really foggy in the mind and absolutely lethargic (could have been down to sleep deprivation) and when I saw a psychologist she said I was exhibiting symptoms of depression. It's never been called this before, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. This week I'm coming out of the fog and seem to be thinking a bit clearer, but with that has come this paralysing fear because I know that I have to face life again. It's as if I want to hide behind the sadness and lethargy so I can just stay in bed and not face up everyday. It makes me really hate myself and feel like a coward. I wanted to know if anybody else experiences this. There's this voice in my head that's telling me that I'm a fake, and that I just need to get over it and stop being weak because it clearly wasn't anything serious. The problem is that instead of listening to that voice and pulling myself out of it I just retreat further into an anxious state. I am confused about what's going on- it just seems so layered and complicated.