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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Daisycqt Why are you not smiling-you used to be so funny
  • replies: 3

Ever since I was a child I was told " you eldest sister had the brains, your next sister is beautiful, but never mind you're the funny one". A tag which has annoyed me all my life as I'm not a blasted clown. Since my depressions got worse and I've sl... View more

Ever since I was a child I was told " you eldest sister had the brains, your next sister is beautiful, but never mind you're the funny one". A tag which has annoyed me all my life as I'm not a blasted clown. Since my depressions got worse and I've slowed down physically and mentally, I'm getting reminded of this even more, especially when I cant be all bright and happy. Even right now, after telling family I am fine, not cross, I've just been told "I don't care what you say, something's making you cross right now because you are not all happy and smiling" which means either I've got to pretend to be happy or I'll end up in a fight in about 3 hours or so. I can't handle a fight so I'll slap on a smile and then everyone else will feel ok while I'm crying inside. Why can't I just be how I feel? Why are their feelings more important than mine?

Charteuse Scared of hospital
  • replies: 4

I have been on and off many different anti depressants for nearly 20 years . First diagnosed as post natal after my mum died in awful circumstances during the pregnancy of my first child. I have always thought of myself as resilient and determined de... View more

I have been on and off many different anti depressants for nearly 20 years . First diagnosed as post natal after my mum died in awful circumstances during the pregnancy of my first child. I have always thought of myself as resilient and determined despite a very difficult child hood and have succeed career wise . I have a great husband and wonderful healthy kids. I don't like relying on meds because of hang up over my mum's addictive behaviors ( which killed her) but every few years it seems to come back. A horrible depressive episode. It seems I can be that adventurous, positive , spontaneous Mum. Wife and colleague. I can take on projects and succeed at high levels in the workplace with loads of energy and then I can be back here, a horrible person, irritable, angry, full of self loathing and despair after my despicable outbursts. I just ride the the ups and downs and apologies a lot to my family when I know I have been unreasonable. (God knows how I control it in the workplace but I seem better at controlling outbursts there)This time it has got so bad my husband said he has had enough, he has since said he doesn't mean it ,but I don't blame him. tI haven't been able to go to work or do anything for a week. Tomorrow I am likely to be admitted to hospital. I told them I want to go because I can't cope anymore and I don't want to do this to my family. I don't want my kids seeing me like this. I am hoping someone is going to tell me that going to hospital is a good decision. I will do all the therapy courses an someone will assess me and give the right medication and I will come out and it will be all good again. A few people,have told me it could be really traumatic and I should try to heal myself at home.

Indoril Trying my best.
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone. This is the first time I have ever opened up about myself. I've tried to do so in the past with friends and family but it makes them uncomfortable. I am really struggling with everything at the moment. I have no career prospects, I've lo... View more

Hi everyone. This is the first time I have ever opened up about myself. I've tried to do so in the past with friends and family but it makes them uncomfortable. I am really struggling with everything at the moment. I have no career prospects, I've lost job after job. I cannot feel anything any more. Is this normal? I have been so tired and weary - I don't know what to do. I've never asked for help before.

Molly_the_fish Help: Your thoughts and what you've done in the past
  • replies: 7

I have been told I had depression before, over 5 years ago. I never felt like it really went away.Tonight I feel like I have 'cracked'i feel like I am on the verge of crying all the time. My arms feel heavy. Breathing hurts. I want to tear all my hai... View more

I have been told I had depression before, over 5 years ago. I never felt like it really went away.Tonight I feel like I have 'cracked'i feel like I am on the verge of crying all the time. My arms feel heavy. Breathing hurts. I want to tear all my hair out. Am I crazy? Have I lost it? I feel like a failure. I will never amount to anything. Everything I try I fail at. I have no direction in my life and it's terrifying. I don't know what I want, or where I want to go, so I have no direction I feel like a failure. I called my mother to talk it through and everything she said is true, I am capable of success. I guess my failure is my own fault, it my doing, I am the only one to blame. How can I stop feeling like this, it's so heavy it's crushing me. I can't see the end. I can't see the point of going on. Please, I just want to hear your stories of what you have done to give me hope. Thanks beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

Fearful Fearful I will never get better again
  • replies: 31

Hi thereI'm new. I posted 2 posts here last week but they were removed by BB - my word count was too long. So I'm starting again Thanks to the two people who replied to me I appreciate your support but can't remember your names sorry. One of you said... View more

Hi thereI'm new. I posted 2 posts here last week but they were removed by BB - my word count was too long. So I'm starting again Thanks to the two people who replied to me I appreciate your support but can't remember your names sorry. One of you said I haven't gained control of my thoughts and I'm wondering if you can clarify how I can do that please? as its a skill I definitely need to learn. I'm a 58 yr old female & very frustrated that at my age I still haven't got my crap together!!!! I've suffered from anxiety & depression all my life but only 15 yrs ago diagnosed & treated with meds and psychology. 18 months ago after a prolonged period of stress and mental struggles, I slipped into severe chronic depression and anxiety and had to give up work. I had no motivation for anything, didn't want to get out of bed and felt anxious about everything. I couldn't see any point in life. Nothing (even my lovely friends and pets) seemed worth living for. I had no appetite and diarrhoea. It's a very scary way to feel as I'm sure you're all aware. I've felt that way before but it's never lasted more than a few weeks. I find it so scary that it has lasted so long and hence my fear that I'll never get better this time.I live on my own & have no family but have several good friends. With the support of 2 wonderful friends I survived the last 18 months, and 3 months ago took up part time work which is going ok tho most days I'm forcing myself to go so I'm not actually enjoying it yet. But I know it's good for me to have the income & social interaction. Although I've improved and I now have good days where I feel like my old self (that's such a wonderful feeling!!). I can't seem to hold onto it no matter how I try and, after a few days I slip back into the deep black hole again. I'm trying really hard to be well - forcie myself to push through feelings to socialise & achieve things, to eat & exercise. Do other self help stuff such as take Tumeric, omega 3's, drink water, monitor thoughts. I hate my life. It's really getting me down and I'm afraid im never going to get better no matter how hard I try. My psychiatrist says coming out of it is an up and down process not a smooth path so that helps explain it a bit. I just hate that gloomy/anxious feeling that is always in the background waiting to smother me. I feel It's my fault I must be doing something wrong.Have you been through similar and recovered? PLEASE tell me how you did it.

LSP77 Will I ever feel normal again ?
  • replies: 2

Hi all just want to tell my story, I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I was a painfully shy and self conscious child and teenager, I had very few friends and found it very hard to relate to girls. I met my now ex husband when I was 18 an... View more

Hi all just want to tell my story, I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I was a painfully shy and self conscious child and teenager, I had very few friends and found it very hard to relate to girls. I met my now ex husband when I was 18 and moved in with him after 2 weeks together. We had 3 children and we're together for 16 years before he left. Although we were both unhappy, him leaving absolutely devastated me, I'd lost my family. I was diagnosed with PND in 2006 after my 2nd child was born, and have been on AD ever since. Since the breakup I slipped into a deep depression and life has been a constant battle ever since. I've let myself go, put on 20kgs and generally hate myself. When I'm having a really down episode, I won't leave the house, I feel very anxious, I sleep a lot, and just lock myself away from the world. I have 3 healthy, beautiful and happy kids, but I'm scared I have damaged them as they saw me hit rock bottom. The only reason I'm still walking this earth is because of them. I know I need to exercise to be healthier mentally and physically, but the thought of going to a gym or walking the streets makes me so anxious, I'm so grateful to have a roof over my head, food on the table and healthy kids, but the constant struggles in my head make it hard to be happy. Anyway enough of my whinging, have a great day.

EllP Scared To Ask For Help??
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone else feels scared to seek help about their depression? I've been feeling pretty awful for a while now and some days I'm sure I am getting worse. I know the go to advise is to seek help from a GP but I'm scared to ... View more

Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone else feels scared to seek help about their depression? I've been feeling pretty awful for a while now and some days I'm sure I am getting worse. I know the go to advise is to seek help from a GP but I'm scared to go because I'm scared of what they will say. I guess the problem is that I'm worried they will diagnose me with depression, because once I'm diagnosed it will be a real thing and I have to handle it, it's not just my secret that I can hide away until I'm alone in my room or crying in the shower, and then pretend isn't happening tomorrow when the sun comes up. I'm so worried about what might happen if GP decides I have depression; I don't what to be medicated and even though I am dying to talk to someone about what is going on in my head, no amount of talking is going to fix all the things I'm sad about. And then there's the flip side of it. Maybe I won't be diagnosed with anything, and if I don't have anything then why am I the way I am? Some days I'm losing my mind and I'm certain there's something wrong with me, and other days I feel less crazy and I wonder if I'm just hormonal or tired and too lazy to deal with my problems. And then I feel guilty for thinking that way, and I feel guilty writing it now, because it's like I'm hoping I have a mental illness.. and that's not right, is it? I guess what I'm saying is I'm scared to have it confirmed either way. But I'm also scared of where I might end up if I don't get help. I don't know what to do! I'm really wanting to know if anyone can relate to how I feel and if so, what did you do/are you doing?

Hopefullseeking Feel like a freak
  • replies: 4

This week hasn't been too bad until today. Have been busy, my coping strategy. Friday spent most the day socialising, the depression/anxiety etc. sitting on my shoulder but I managed. Yesterday I spent all day doing craft and was pleased with the res... View more

This week hasn't been too bad until today. Have been busy, my coping strategy. Friday spent most the day socialising, the depression/anxiety etc. sitting on my shoulder but I managed. Yesterday I spent all day doing craft and was pleased with the results. Today I was flat out getting up, felt tired, sleepy and flat as a tack. I went to a friends for lunch managing to keep it together and hiding how l was feeling. Now my stomach is in knots, feel teary and so down. Feel like a freak, can't hold it together. I just want to feel normal and don't ask me what normal is, l don't know any more. My depression etc. seems like it will never go away. I am in therapy but my hope of ever feeling better is almost nonexistent. Others get better. I'm the freak that doesn't. I want someone to tell me it will all go away but that will never happen. sorry guys l'm just over it all.

willbewillbe What do I do now??
  • replies: 2

Hi. I am a 30 year old male who has for a long period of time suffered severely with depression, and until only very recently realised I have possibly been more so affected by anxiety. Things have been coming to a head for a while and exploded a coup... View more

Hi. I am a 30 year old male who has for a long period of time suffered severely with depression, and until only very recently realised I have possibly been more so affected by anxiety. Things have been coming to a head for a while and exploded a couple of weeks ago when I attempted suicide.At the time I felt I had nothing, I had moved to follow my partner of 3 months to a new town, and basically dropped my entire life to start a new one. My decision. Nobody elses. Things had began going wrong from the time I moved, I had contact with my own children stopped by their mother, I have struggled to settle in my new home, didnt like the job I had and the bliss of the new love began to fade mainly I would suggest amongst my failing happiness. A heated argument and talk of a split left me feeling I had nothing left....hopeless and a fool. Foolishly I attempted to end it all. Thankfully I was found and I have recovered well after a few days in ICU. I know what I did was wrong. I know it isnt the answer. I know what I need to do to mke sure I never end up in that situation again. I am taking all the appropriate steps. My main issue is that my partner is struggling with what has happened and is pushing me away. Initially she was very supportive and I am forever grateful and thankful.....I realise how cruel and horrible it must have been for her to go through....she seen me in a bad way. Problem is that now she says she doesnt trust me, has no idea who I am and doesnt want this for her life. I love her and feel we are meant to be. Can I support what she needs to be feeling or is this a case of me needing to pull away myself to protect my own mind and safety.......I am struggling with being shunned and hate the idea I have someone who is perhaps only with me because they are afraid I will hurt myself. I dont know what to do...can someone please give me some insight....i fear this will push me back into my mind. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

bigbosco Can't get on top of life
  • replies: 2

I am retired and comfortable with a good Wife, we have been married for over 40 years. I had heart surgery in 2006 and last year I had a ICD implanted. I feel useless and cannot get on top of living with this condition. I know all the things that I a... View more

I am retired and comfortable with a good Wife, we have been married for over 40 years. I had heart surgery in 2006 and last year I had a ICD implanted. I feel useless and cannot get on top of living with this condition. I know all the things that I am lucky to be alive etc. etc. doesn't help. I wake in the morning just black and that can last some time, it also can hit me for no reason and for no reason and make my life pointless. There are times that I am hit with just anger for no reason, not anger that I would hurt anyone just anger at life. Finding it hard to deal with