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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Enough_Already When coping isn't enough anymore
  • replies: 4

I have tried writing an introduction now for a good 10 minutes, but every time I write something, I delete it. How do you introduce yourself to a world of strangers? How do you type what you feel and what you think? How do you know that people won't ... View more

I have tried writing an introduction now for a good 10 minutes, but every time I write something, I delete it. How do you introduce yourself to a world of strangers? How do you type what you feel and what you think? How do you know that people won't judge you or think something of you? That's the thing, you don't! This is my life, these are my everyday struggles. I am 27 years old and I have been struggling with anxiety and depression all my adult life and more then likely childhood, which is probably where it stems from. I have been to psychiatrists and made some progress, but, it only lasts for a while and then I revert right back to the same thing as before. I have reached the severe depression obstacle and overcome some of the struggles, sleeping all the time, not wanting to get out of bed. Shutting everyone out, hiding from the world. But I fear it is settling in again and sometimes I have no control over it. Somedays it is easier to give in then fight it. My anxiety and I are not the best of friends, a few years ago, I couldn't go into a shopping centre by myself, I couldn't talk to anyone by myself, I had no life, and no where to turn, I sat in fear of my own fear. No body understands what it is like to face the day when they have never suffered from depression or anxiety, people will only assume what they think or believe but for some one who battles to just get through the day, we understand each other and we understand everything. I am new to this whole forum thing, I hope to share my stories, advice and my survival tips with you some day and I look forward to hearing about yours.

Kylie_10 zero motivation to move farward
  • replies: 1

I am 28 years old, I am a single mother who is studying nursing full time at uni (1.5 years to go). I lost my job before Christmas due to funding cuts and I am at the point where I have been selling things to buy food. I cannot apply for part time wo... View more

I am 28 years old, I am a single mother who is studying nursing full time at uni (1.5 years to go). I lost my job before Christmas due to funding cuts and I am at the point where I have been selling things to buy food. I cannot apply for part time work because I am always on and off working at the hospital for my work placement. My availability is always up and down. My family don’t support me and I am constantly having to beg for help from people to just drop my son off to school so I can get to the hospital on time. I have a knee injury which prevents me from doing a lot of exercise so now I just ‘walk’ because I can’t afford to see a physiotherapist. I have depression (lack of exercise further contributes to this). Walking takes up a lot of what precious little time I have though so it’s not the most practical. I have been brought up in a dysfunctional family where my parents were junkies and I was physically, sexually and emotionally abused. I am always trying to make my life simpler and less stressful (I eat healthy and look after myself and my sleep habits) but there is always shit that comes up and knocks me down again. I have made an appointment to see a psych, I have had one session so far which is organised through uni. I am really tired of ‘fighting’ to get somewhere in life. I am just so sick of always struggling and trying to be strong.

Bob_M I need all the help that I can get to try to get back together
  • replies: 11

Hi my name is Bob M I did now that I was suffering from Depression it seems like that I've suffering from it for many Years & yet did now that I was suffering from Depression until I saw a new Dr & had filled in a form & well it was bad enough for me... View more

Hi my name is Bob M I did now that I was suffering from Depression it seems like that I've suffering from it for many Years & yet did now that I was suffering from Depression until I saw a new Dr & had filled in a form & well it was bad enough for me to see a Psychiatrist witch I now have to call her to make an appointment to see her.I've known that could need help with a problem that I've but did now very much about it & how I could go about it so for many years I've kept it all to my self until I had meet a very nice Girl & we have been going together for about 2 years & now we are having problems with our lives we are living in the same unit but for what had happen she is now staying in her own room.Some of what had happen yes is my fault & some is also her fault I've said things that I should have said & now I'm regretting it & I'm kicking my self & now that we are seeing the right papal we getting things back on the right track we are still talking to each other & trying to work this out.

saltysoil Unhappy in paradise
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and have always wanted to post something about my own struggles. I've just recently, on the advice of the only friend I spoken to about depression, gone and seen my GP about the way I've been feeling for the last 3 ... View more

Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum and have always wanted to post something about my own struggles. I've just recently, on the advice of the only friend I spoken to about depression, gone and seen my GP about the way I've been feeling for the last 3 years. I've always been that person that everyone likes, but have not ever been fortunate enough to be seen as someone who another may be attracted to. I'm sure there are people in worse positions than me, I'm physically healthy, employed, have a loving extended family and I'm lucky enough to have been living in a beautiful tropical town for the past 12 years. To be 33 and having never had a girlfriend, makes me so sad I can't explain it. It never used to bother me, I know I'm well liked/respected in the community and I figured it would work out for me. To have never had someone care for me in that way, to have missed out on so many moments tears me up to the point where I just can't function when I'm alone with my thoughts. I know that to find a partner I need to be happy in myself and more confidant, but it's so hard. It sounds so selfish to me, but I would just love to have someone genuinely happy to see me, or to know that someone is just waiting for their work day to finish so they can rush over to be with me. I have so much love to give, but I'm afraid that I'll never be able to share it with anyone. As beautiful as my home is, it's transient nature is hurting me so badly. Watching friends pair up and leave all the time is constantly leaving me trying to chase new friends, and every year I fit in less and less as the new batch of people in town are always that few years younger. While I know I have to take risks, I'm worried that if I moved to the city, I'll just be another dull face in the crowd, at the very least here at home I'm well known. I think what makes me really upset at the moment is that the only person I've poured my heart out to about my feelings is also leaving in a few months, I'm not sure what to do then. I guess at the moment I'm just hoping the meds my doc put me on will help me feel well so I can at least get back to feeling happy, even if meeting a partner is not something that will happen. All I know is I can't cry myself to sleep anymore, I just hate the way I feel, and its taking all my effort to not hate myself. Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it.

Mares73 I'm back-latest chapter in my world of turmoil
  • replies: 7

It's been quite a while since I posted. My husband has Acute leukaemia at 43 & had a bone marrow transplant. Who knows what his future will be-the uncertainty is really hard. I was involved with the Royal Commission & am pursuing a civil case against... View more

It's been quite a while since I posted. My husband has Acute leukaemia at 43 & had a bone marrow transplant. Who knows what his future will be-the uncertainty is really hard. I was involved with the Royal Commission & am pursuing a civil case against a priest who abused me when I was a teenager. I also thought my 16yr old daughter was coping amazing & was so proud of her. My 11yr old son hasn't coped well & is very hard to reach. He just wants his dad all the time he won't engage with me unless it's anger. i just found out by accidently seeing notes my daughter had written that she's not coping as I thought. She has immense underlying anxiety & anger towards me for the impact of my depression on her life. I feel I have 2 children who I have hurt so deeply with the symptoms of my illness. It crushes my heart. How can I make it better? How can I fix the damage I've caused? They needed me so much with their dad being sick. And I thought I was there for them but I obviously wasn't. I've tried to talk to my daughter about this & apologise but her response is always "I don't want to talk about this mum because I end up feeling guilty for being upset with you & nothing ever changes".I really fear them getting older & their main memories being of me depressed, letting them down & being over medicated. This is a reality. My illness has defined me as their mother. They are the main memories they have of me. And if I suggest taking them out they won't come & say " mum you never keep your promises so I'm not going to get excited, I don't have any expectations that you will do what you say". This is understandable as I have been sick more than a few times when I've promised to do things with them. im so low today. So full of self hate. So sad that they are drifting away from me. I don't know that this is something I can make right. I'm trying so so hard to communicate with them & suggest doing things together but they have lost interest. i had a abusive upbringing. I know the damage & scars it left on me. Now I'm leaving different scars on my children. They are my world. I cannot put into words how deep my love is. It's breaking my heart & creating more depression now that I know how deeply my illness has affected them. All I want in the world is my children's trust in me & to stop their love being overshadowed by my PTSD, depression &?anxiety. I feel so so sad & worthless & unhappy. mares

MisterM The smallest of triggers - it doesn't take much
  • replies: 8

I am so sensitive that my feelings get hurt so easily and that sets me into a pattern of thinking (you are so stupid, no wonder noone likes you, I don't know why people want to be friends with me, I should just disappear). The smallest triggers set m... View more

I am so sensitive that my feelings get hurt so easily and that sets me into a pattern of thinking (you are so stupid, no wonder noone likes you, I don't know why people want to be friends with me, I should just disappear). The smallest triggers set me into a downward spiral. I was feeling great the last few days as I decided on which course I want to study in uni and applied. My best friend made a reply to a Facebook comment I made, he was joking around but it made me feel stupid. Sometimes the comments I leave I do not realise others see as silly, I do not meant to comes across like a fool, it makes me think I am a fool. In my head last night I kept saying to myself "he's only joking" "he's doing what close guy friends do and give each other s**t" "my gosh you are so sensitive" "you know he loves and cares about you as he has told you numerous times", but my emotions are of hating myself for appearing to be so stupid for the sometimes inane, pointless comments I leave on Facebook and kind of angry at my friend for making me feel stupid by pointing that out to me a number of times. I am aware he was joking around and that his reply in no way is meant to hurt me and shouldn't hurt me but it's like my emotions make me hate myself and get angry at him and want to disappear from any online presence. My friend has told me that is what is so endearing about me, my dagginess and some of the things I say sometimes which sound silly. But I feel unintelligent. Sometimes my mouth moves faster than my mind and I say dumb things. I can't understand why I react like this to something so trivial and harmless. I know there is no need to feel this way and try to get myself together but some force inside of me pulls me down and washes over me. I was feeling upbeat and positive about my future (going back to uni if I get accepted and hopefully into the career I want) and now I feel like I have no hope and don't feel motivated to do anything and am filled with a sadness. Anyone here react like I do? I wish I wasn't so easily hurt and had thick skin. I wish I could make things bounce off me instead of setting off my depressed mood and negative thinking and self loathing. My medication is not working at all, it should prevent this reaction from me.

Wah Cognitive issues and work
  • replies: 5

Does anyone else have significant problems with their cognition as part of their depression? I am finding at present my mood is reasonably stable but i am unmotivated, lethargic and my brain is Slooow. It's like I cant string sentences together in my... View more

Does anyone else have significant problems with their cognition as part of their depression? I am finding at present my mood is reasonably stable but i am unmotivated, lethargic and my brain is Slooow. It's like I cant string sentences together in my head. I have to read everything twice or three times before I can retain it. I am normally a very sharp, very logical and quick thinker. And it seems the harder I try to make myself focus and think more clearly the worse it is. I am on Newstart and supposed to be applying for 20 jobs a fortnight. What do I do when I can hardly get my brain into gear to manage the basics? I do not think i could hold down a job in my chosen profession at present and am reluctant to take anything on in case I cant manage it. I registered with an agency for locum work and did not declare my history of depression under health issues. I really don't know what to do.Has anyone found any of the medications helpful with cognition?

Mares73 How do I explain depression to my children who resent my symptoms?
  • replies: 2

Hi im struggling with my two children (daughter 16, son 11) who constantly put me down, criticism me & call me names such as a "druggie" who is "off my face". They are referring to my antidepressant medication which makes me very tired by about 8pm. ... View more

Hi im struggling with my two children (daughter 16, son 11) who constantly put me down, criticism me & call me names such as a "druggie" who is "off my face". They are referring to my antidepressant medication which makes me very tired by about 8pm. its been a roller coaster the last 12 months with my husband having a bone marrow transplant as the only hope to treat his leukaemia. Then I'm involved with the Royal Commission & a civil case against a priest who abused me as a teenager. i love my children more than anything but I'm so hurt they are drifting away from me. My daughter who I've always been close to now doesn't ever want to be at home & is angry at me. my son just wants his dad all the time & refuses to do anything with me. He is the most sensitive beautiful child & everyone comments on how lovely he is yet behind closed doors he only communicates with me aggressively if he wants something. its breaking my heart. I've asked my husband to have a talk with them & explain depression & anxiety. But he won't-he says we all need to talk as a family which yes it would be ideal in different circumstances. But I don't think they'll say how they really feel if I'm in the conversation. They need to have space to talk openly without feeling restrained by my presence. i understand they resent the times I havnt been able to disguise my symptoms, the times I've cried, the nights I've fallen asleep early due to exhaustion. I'm terrified they will grow into adults & only remember the symptoms they have seen me battle. I grew up in a very abusive family & from the time my children were born I was devoted to raising them to be confident & able to express themselves. I wanted to give them all I could & I even started sending them for things like massage from when they were very young. I even gave up working because they wanted me there for them after school like other mums. I've instilled in them that no matter what situation they may face in life I will always love & protect them & never judge them. An example is recently my daughter drank alcohol for the first time & was very sick. I just went & got her, held her, made her food & gave her lots of water & told her I'd always be there for her. I also talked about the effects of alcohol & the dangers of losing control. I never shame or embarras her. I treat her with unconditional love. But I'm losing them as they resent my depression symptoms.it breaks my heart. Depression is so cruel. mares

Charlie_Jane Returning to work after a bout of illness
  • replies: 5

In just after 2 weeks I will be returning to work after being in hospital for three weeks for a breakdown, sleep deprivation and diagnosed with Bipolar II. I have been off of work since later November and I have been doing everything I can to move fo... View more

In just after 2 weeks I will be returning to work after being in hospital for three weeks for a breakdown, sleep deprivation and diagnosed with Bipolar II. I have been off of work since later November and I have been doing everything I can to move forward with my recovery. Medication, daily exercise, monitoring my diet, using a psychologist and relaxation techniques. My downfall occured after I was assaulted at work (I work in a prison) and shortly after things started to spiral downhill very quickly. Even though I believe the assault contributed to my being hospitalized, it has not been the complete reason why I had my breakdown. I have been suffering with Bipolar for years and had always tried to fight it but finally it got hold of me and I couldn't cope any longer. I thought I was ok to return to work but today I had a discussion with a Mental Health professional and when I pictured myself back in the workplace, I really panicked. Tears came out of my face and I had no control over myself, it was like it became reality. Like I said, I have always been trying to keep everything together and returning to work is no exception but I am really really concerned about going back and it's only just come to the surface. I know the working environment I am in is not ideal for my mental health but I am now worried that returning may trigger me and I lose it again. We discussed changing jobs but even the thought of that right now is to much to handle. I feel like my back is against a wall. I have been financially upset by my time off and the return is going to help with the finances however I am not sure how I am going to cope in the working environment. Any ideas/suggestions/thoughts would be really helpful at this time.

white knight Happiness- what should be your goal?
  • replies: 6

We know from our forum that there are a good percentage of people newly diagnosed with mental illness that seek a cure for their condition. Regularly we try to educate them by saying good management of their condition is a preferable approach rather ... View more

We know from our forum that there are a good percentage of people newly diagnosed with mental illness that seek a cure for their condition. Regularly we try to educate them by saying good management of their condition is a preferable approach rather than a 100% fix. I mention this because if we admit to our ambition of good management then we resign to the fact that we will never have a full recovery. That being said does that mean we will never find true happiness? Will we always reflect upon not getting to full recovery and so never really be happy? I'm asking this here today because I have finally found happiness yet still have my down and up days depending on my mania/moods. I'm happy even though I'm fragile emotionally and I'm happy besides the fact that humans upset me regularly. Why is this so and could there be tip I can give you? Briefly- I have bipolar 2, dysthymia, depression and previously had anxiety with panic attacks. I'm on mood stabilisers and a small amount of anti depressants, fish oil. Physical issues include sleep apnea and deep vein thrombosis. My wife has depression. Unlike me she sleeps a lot when the black dog visits. My road to recovery- well inside my mind is a positive "never give up" person that changed from being negative in 1983 after attending a motivation lecture. I cant begin to tell you what good effect that had on me. It planted the seed to the fighter in me now. Then a major down time prior to my marriage split in 1996. Clearly leaving my then abusive and ungrateful wife was the best move I ever made. So if you have big doubts follow your heart if all else fails. Don't hang around a doomed relationship. I began to write poetry in 1994 unaware it was good therapy. Writing anything down helps. And these changes- -A move to the countryside (if this interests you then try it. I advise a very small town within 15 minutes of a larger town the latter with hospital, gym, supermarket and schools. -I got rid of all toxic problem people -met kind people -limited social media -Hobbies -get lots of sleep -Staying away from club committees/politics -spiritual contentment Self help is good. Happiness can be claimed when you have more good days than bad, when you act on your needs, when you are well enough to help others, when you've accepted your illness as part of YOU and when you are stable enough to come across as not having a mental illness. My goal is reached...what about you? Tony WK

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