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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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TheBear I should be happy, but there's a weight pulling me down
  • replies: 3

So this is my first step in trying to get myself sorted. Today I finally admitted a lot of things to myself and said it out loud to my partner. I am on anti depressants as to begin with I was taking them for nerve damage. I'm 27 and have just found o... View more

So this is my first step in trying to get myself sorted. Today I finally admitted a lot of things to myself and said it out loud to my partner. I am on anti depressants as to begin with I was taking them for nerve damage. I'm 27 and have just found out that my fiance (we've been together for nearly 9 years, engaged for 3 1/2) is pregnant. While I am happy about this there's something behind the scenes draining me. It makes me angry and sad all at the same time, half the time without warning. I'm currently dealing with a workers compensation claim. I injured my shoulder back in Sept last year, there was a lot of BS being thrown at me because there wasn't a diagnosis within the first month. Late Dec I find out there's a tear in the joint. This is when I noticed I had started shutting down to friends and family. I didn't enjoy most of my hobbies anymore More BS ensues with the surgeon, it took his office 3 1/2 months to book in surgery. I felt defeated during this ordeal, I couldn't do anything to make it or myself better. It's now 2 months down the track and I'm getting worse. I don't drink often, but when I have recently it's been to the point where my memory is patchy or I make myself sick. I have smoked marijuana for quite a few years, to begin with it was pain management due to an old injury. But recently it has been to become numb to my situation, it's easier to just not think about it than deal with it head on. My anger is getting harder to control and I have no idea how to deal with the extreme low/sadness I feel at the same time. I'm still shutting people and hobbies out, even my partner sometimes.I don't want to burden them with my crap (this is how I see it) as everyone has their problems. But right now I'm drowning, my head is only just above the water. I know my situation isn't that bad compared to most, but it truly is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel whilst it keeps sucking you back into the darkness.I have had a few suicidal thoughts, but now I have to get it together for my fiance and my future child. I still feel worthless, most people don't know about these issues as I'm the sort of guy to put on a brave face to try and help them. beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU X-NONE X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;}

neleke i have had depression for many years
  • replies: 6

i have had depression for many years and am taking antidepressants to help it. too much pressure on myself by other people brought it on. Plus my life with my husband and kids varies all the time. In the good times it is ok but in the bad times i am ... View more

i have had depression for many years and am taking antidepressants to help it. too much pressure on myself by other people brought it on. Plus my life with my husband and kids varies all the time. In the good times it is ok but in the bad times i am very depressed,have anxiety,stress and get upset easily. during the past year and half it has been hard as my husband was unemployed and our finances were tough. I would like any suggestions on how to cope and help myself in my down times.

Clayhay Feel beaten and failed
  • replies: 5

Hi Everyone. Thank you for sharing your stories. But thank you mostly to those of you who understand and support others. this is my first post (copied from the intro thread) yesterday. Hi,Ive joined the forums today because Im just not coping with my... View more

Hi Everyone. Thank you for sharing your stories. But thank you mostly to those of you who understand and support others. this is my first post (copied from the intro thread) yesterday. Hi,Ive joined the forums today because Im just not coping with my life. I struggle just to get out of bed in the morning/ I lay awake wishing i wasnt here. I have read a few stories on this thread and I thank everyone for sharing. In a situation where you feel so alone its amazing to find so many of us struggle along. I have struggled all my life with self esteem and self belief issues. I always find I just dont fit in or am just not good enough. I was only diagnosed with depression after having my children that I got so desperate i just cried in the doctors office. I was on medication for a few years but didnt like the reliance of it and have been off them for some time but i know i need them again. I just want to cry all the time. I have struggled to find a job in my town for so long now that I just cant do it anymore. I have applied for 100s of jobs and had some interviews but just dont cross the line. I feel beaten and failed. I am now avoiding social situations because i just dont want to have the job conversation anymore. Why is it so easy for some. Why cant someone help me... I have tried everything but it still to no avail. I want to runaway from this place and start somewhere else. I am well educated (i have a degree and diploma) but cant even get a 'Woolies"type job and I dont know why. Im a good honest person but I now dont even believe that. This misery is affecting everything. i am snarky and bitter and get cranky at my kids too easy. I hate it. I am scared my kids see me fail and I hate it.I just dont know what to do anymore. Thanx for reading.

Unsubscribed It can't be as bad as it seems?!?
  • replies: 7

I can barely even figure out where to begin, on the outside it seems as though I have my life together, on the inside I'm breaking. I work 2 jobs and study at tafe full time, I also am a mum to a beautiful 18month old and have a partner that I've bee... View more

I can barely even figure out where to begin, on the outside it seems as though I have my life together, on the inside I'm breaking. I work 2 jobs and study at tafe full time, I also am a mum to a beautiful 18month old and have a partner that I've been with for 12 years, I'm 31 years old . Seems as though I should be living the dream, I think wow, there are so many others probably doing the same thing and worrying about the same thing, why does my issue matter and affect me the way it does?!?! i work long hours and am trying to better myself for my child so I can get a steady job instead of night shift, why the hell is it so hard for my partner to do the frickin dishes or at least tell me I'm still beautiful when I'm still wearing my pyjamas at 3 in the afternoon??? and that's just the tip of the iceberg, I've put so much stress on myself to pass this course and I'm only in the 2nd semester!!! i just....I can't even explain everything that's there, I've written it down, I've spoken to my partner, family and friends and still can't get past this feeling of hopelessness and wanting to run away but stay close at the same time, it's breaking me from the inside!

BenD Self-love and not relying on other people for happiness.
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I recently shared an intimate moment with a person that I've known for quite a while. We both agreed that we wish we were 30 rather than mid 20's because there are still things that we wish to do while "unattached". I like her a lot and she l... View more

Hi all, I recently shared an intimate moment with a person that I've known for quite a while. We both agreed that we wish we were 30 rather than mid 20's because there are still things that we wish to do while "unattached". I like her a lot and she likes me a lot. What really gets me is that I've been feeling those darn chemicals over the last few days that make me long for this persons company, even though I've survived long enough happily being friends. It's quite emotionally taxing. I feel like I am half the person that I normally am, and that she completes the whole. Which is totally different to how I felt as recently as a few weeks ago. The rational person in me thinks those feelings are related to an underlying sense of low self-esteem. Of a longing to feel appreciated by someone else, because I don't appreciate myself enough. Can anyone relate to that, as confusing as it sounds? Ben

sydney2012 Feeling alone
  • replies: 5

Hi, I guess this is my attempt to reach out as I feel like I'm even lacking the energy to begin the process to get a referral for help. Just feeling so very alone, and isolated, sad, guilty, and scared about how dark my moods have become. I moved to ... View more

Hi, I guess this is my attempt to reach out as I feel like I'm even lacking the energy to begin the process to get a referral for help. Just feeling so very alone, and isolated, sad, guilty, and scared about how dark my moods have become. I moved to Australia from the U.S. nearly three years ago with my Aussie husband and two children. We left due to financial issues and lack of a job for my husband and were thankful to have a new start here with a job for him. To make a long story short, there are other issues but since our move we have had a lot of family hostility waiting here for us and they've let me know they never wanted us here, my Dad, back in the U.S. has passed, and I have spent months getting my son the help he needs for his autism related issues. Now our daughter is being diagnosed with autism and is not doing well. I felt exhausted before her issues became severe and now feeling like it's a huge mountain I can't climb again.....but I will as I have to for her. The few friends I had made here have taken a big step back in seeing how overwhelmed I have become and there are no offers of help or support, just silence. As a result of the stress, my husband and I are not doing well now. I feel, firstly guilt......because I know lots of people have it lots worse and who am I to complain about our lot. Also because I feel like an absolute failure as a mother and wife. Our house is in chaos, I struggle to keep the kids ready for school each day, get homework done and everything else. I have completely lost myself in that in keeping up with the kids needs, I just do not have the energy to get myself showered and looking presentable every day, I'm ashamed of it but the energy just is not there. I have gone from sadness and crying all the time to just feeling empty and flat. All I want to do is give up and disappear and if not for my kids I would. I do think what a relief it would be to end things or to just have that plan as a back up and it scares me that my moods have become so dark. Normal 0 false false false EN-AU JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0cm; mso-para-margin-right:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0cm; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Staralfur It never seems to get better
  • replies: 3

It gets to this time of night. Surprise surprise I'm sad. I'm so sad it hurts my chest and I can't breathe and I cry myself to sleep. I don't have many friends anymore, and my depression feelings are getting more frequent. I just feel so alone. So ve... View more

It gets to this time of night. Surprise surprise I'm sad. I'm so sad it hurts my chest and I can't breathe and I cry myself to sleep. I don't have many friends anymore, and my depression feelings are getting more frequent. I just feel so alone. So very very alone and I wish I could just lie in my bed and sleep all the time. I don't want to see anyone or go to work. I don't think about dying anymore, but I sure don't want to be around here either. It doesn't help that the person I thought might have liked me... Doesn't even think about me. Nope. It makes me feel so stupid and even more lonely and for some reason I can't stop thinking about them. everything I do wrong plagues my mind endlessly. I get so paranoid. Even if that person were to like me it wouldn't matter because I'd get so paranoid I'd push him away anyway. everyhing I do and say is wrong, I always speak and say the dumbest things that annoy people and drive them nuts. I don't know what to do anymore. I honestly can't stand this and I just needed to vent for once because no one I know here understands. To everyone I'm just dramatic and need to get over it because people have it worse off. And they do, but I can't help it! Honest I'm trying so hard and I just can't! I can't... beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

littlemisspippa A message of hope
  • replies: 6

Hi all, I wanted to spread a message of hope. I have recently relapsed into anxiety (with depression). Around 3 years ago, being bullied at work with a number of stress made me have a number of panic attacks, issues with sleeping and eating and just ... View more

Hi all, I wanted to spread a message of hope. I have recently relapsed into anxiety (with depression). Around 3 years ago, being bullied at work with a number of stress made me have a number of panic attacks, issues with sleeping and eating and just feeling like a walking zombie. I had a melt down and it took me 3 weeks before l was better to go back to work. During this time I saw my doctor and got treatment. It was that hardest time in my life and yet te proudest because l went back to work, lodged a compliant with HR because l couldn't let him do that to others. I don't know what happened with him but that's not my issue. I continues working for 3 months and on the morning l was penning my letter to leave work, I was called into a meeting to be told my job was made redundant. I was going to leave and yet l scored a redunancy payout! I made the mistake of thinking l was better earlier this year and l stopped taking my tablets. Considently this, I lasted a fairly long time before my anxiety took over. Add a breakup, stressful work, neighbour issues, moving, sick grandma etc. I am back on my meds and l knownl will be fine. I say l have an anxiety disorder but when it gets out of hand, I get symptoms of depression. . Know that depression is just a disease and you can get better (just remember to listen to you doctor!). Tell yourself you are not a depressed person you just have depression. Be kind to yourself as this is a terrible disease and let others help you recover. Practice smiling and force yourself o laugh and be silly - eventually you won't have to please remember you are not along as this affects far too many and l hope my message has given you hope pippa and her kittens Bam Bam and Pebbles (see profile pic)

lm99 White Picket Fence
  • replies: 7

Not sure where to start. Text book fantastic partner. 3 beautiful kids. Volunteer at the local sports club. I have the white picket fence. I thought that if I convinced myself long enough in the dream I would be fixed. Clock on clock off next day beg... View more

Not sure where to start. Text book fantastic partner. 3 beautiful kids. Volunteer at the local sports club. I have the white picket fence. I thought that if I convinced myself long enough in the dream I would be fixed. Clock on clock off next day begins. My family is not very supportive. My sister points out on a regular basis how Im not good enough at anything and my brothers drain me with all their dramas. My folks are old school. Stuck in their ways and how we should be. Die by the sword of 'what will people think'. And I must keep up the charade. See Im the fix it girl. If there is a problem I fix it. If you need something, I do it. I solve it all. Hubby is everything you should want. He is loyal and honest and he loves me. Really loves me. And I love him. He knows somethings not right but I just cant let him in. Truth is I know he would be happier without me. I know what you will say but he would. He deserves so much more than I can give. I have this huge part of me that I keep hidden away and I wont allow anyone to get near it ever. Its been for so long, I dont know what its like without it. If you come close I will run and if you love me I will hurt you until you hate me. I wont let her get hurt ever again. Noone will know. I have let others in before but they always leave. They dont look at you the same way when they know. I think, I will just keep busy. Take on more work. Focus on the kids. Fix everyone else and no-one will see. Play the white picket fence game. But im tired. I want to not be but I cant do that to my kids. So back to playing the white picket fence. It is what it is I guess? L

Sn0wLeopard Daylight savings and depression
  • replies: 2

Hello! I have been struggling since daylight savings has started. I really find that once winter starts coming in, my symptoms increase and I lack motivation and struggle to enjoy the things I used to. Everything is hard - finding energy to go to wor... View more

Hello! I have been struggling since daylight savings has started. I really find that once winter starts coming in, my symptoms increase and I lack motivation and struggle to enjoy the things I used to. Everything is hard - finding energy to go to work is difficult, and then I have after work hobbies I partake in - and lately I havent been going. I really enjoy the activities but I just don't have the energy. In the past I was on medication and I chose to stop taking it, more so for anxiety as I'd worked through my depressive symptoms with a psychologist and felt that I was experiencing more anxiety than depression - but lately, the depression is really kicking in and I am starting to feel the dark cloud looming. I hate this feeling and I want to nip it in the bud before the symptoms worsen. I honestly think that daylight savings plays a huge role in this though because I recall the same thing happening last year! Does anyone else get affected by daylight savings?