Really confused as to what is wrong with me

[alexmercer]

Hey guys this is the first time I have felt the need to seek external assistance as my issue keeps getting worse.

So for a couple of years I have been constantly been going through phases where I feel really lonely, upset and unhappy with my life. I am going through some issues at home but I guess nobody's life is perfect. The main problem that I am really confused about is my feelings of sadness and loneliness are completely disregarded by some close friends as they regard my lifestyle to be one they wish they could have. Not to sound arrogant at all but financially my family is doing well off, I have been offered my first preference into university and I have a good amount of friends always messaging me wanting to see me and talk to me. However, after all of this I always feel an empty spot and like to be alone and push out a lot of people in my life. I attempted to find escape routes to limit the loneliness I am going through but the happiness they provide is short and ends up making me feel worse. For example, I started smoking, starting going on a stupid spending spree, going out parties all the time but in the end I am always feeling the same feelings. Can anyone help me try to understand why I have these feelings and they come and go at various times during the week. I am sorry if this main be seen as a topic that is insignificant if so please tell me as this is my first time seeking out for help from random people. 

 Thank you so much in advance.

[geoff]

dear Alexmercer, I know that even when anybody can keep themselves busy, doesn't mean that they are happy at all, and
perhaps that's why they want to be busy, but in the long run it doesn't seem to help them.
What I would like you to do is to google 'K-10' which is a test to establish a score on how depressed you are, so that's
a start, however at different times of the day or week your score could alter, depending on how you feel, so in other
words take the test a few times.
When you start to push people away, that is, those who want to keep in touch with you, then this empty spot begins to get
bigger and eventually they will all begin to stay away from you, maybe because you are of no use to them any more.
What does concern me is that as you say 'your family are well off', is that these 'friends' are wanting to be contact with
you could be expecting that you will choice them if the family goes snowing, flying or whatever else, so the issue stands
are they really good 'friends' or just taking advantage of you, and if you feel this then there will be an empty spot in
your life.
All of what you have said is entirely logical, but please get back to us. Geoff.

[Lost_andconfused]

Were you alone alot when you were a child? I see alot of myself in you as a 18 year old. I had everything but could never fill the void. Im 25 now and still working on it. 

I feel that i need a healthy support network to make it through. Are your friends the right kind of friends? Often we like to surround ourselves with fakeness to make it seem like we are okay. 

Hope i was of some help to you.

Lost and confused.

[Ladyhawke]

Dear Alexmercer,

​Welcome to the forums. There is no need to apologise for reaching out; if your situation is concerning you to the point of contacting the forums, then there is nothing insignificant or trivial about your issue.

Geoff's suggestion of googling the 'K-10' test and taking it a few times over a period of a week or two could be helpful for you. While nothing can replace an assessment by a mental health professional, these tests can often result in useful information about your behaviour and can be quite helpful in giving an indication that we may need professional help.

I have experienced chronic anxiety and depression since childhood, but was reluctant to seek help until my mid-30s. I really do regret not seeking professional help earlier as I lost a great deal of "life" by trying to cope alone.

Mental health issues know no boundaries - anyone, irrespective of socio-economic position, can be affected. All can be going well externally and one can still be touched by anxiety, depression, personality disorders etc. - no-one is immune.

I see it as positive that you have recognised something is not quite right at an early age. It means if there is an issue present, you will be able to deal with it sooner and not lose years as I did.

I would take Geoff's advice - google 'K-10' which may help you to gain a bit more insight into yourself. Irrespective of your score, if you are still having the same issues in a week or two, then I suggest you make an appointment with your GP and tell him what you've written in your post. He will be able to assess if your issues require treatment by a mental health care professional.

In the meantime, if for any reason, your situation causes you sudden distress or you are overwhelmed by your feelings, I strongly suggest you telephone 'beyondblue' and speak to one of the professionals here. There is no need for you to sit with distressing feelings, when help is only a phone call away.

I would be interested to know how things progress for you. Don't hesitate to post on the forums if you want to chat or unload how you're feelings - that's what the forums are for. This is a very caring and supportive community and there are always members willing to lend support or advice.

Take care and best wishes,

lh

[Moonstruck]

Hi there....I did the K-10 test this morning...and to my surprise (sort of) it came up "High" advising to seek advice and help.

And yet I think if I had done it a few weeks back...it may have been entirely different!  Several factors or stressors I feel have contributed over the past 4 weeks to my High Score...so is it recommended to do it again...in a month or so? what do you think?....

[Ladyhawke]

Hi Alex,

I wouldn't leave it for a month; perhaps in a week or two. Mood disorders tend to fluctuate (in my experience) ; you may be feeling OK one day, and the next day you can feel quite off balance.  Take the test in a week or two and, just to be on the safe side, if you score more than 50%,  then I would always prefer to err on the side of caution. A visit to your GP, just to have a chat about how you've been feeling, certainly wouldn't hurt and may help to give you a sense of security and stability.

I am hesitant to offer any more suggestions, as I am not a mental health professional, but I can certainly give you anecdotes of my own issues with depression and anxiety. 

Please keep in contact if you wish - even if it is just to unload how you're feeling.

Take care

lh

[Ladyhawke]

Hi Moonstruck,

​Really sorry for referring to you as Alex; extremely tired yesterday, and as the original post was from Alex, I assumed that was who I was chatting to.

I'd be very interested to know your 'K-10' score when next you take it. Feel free to contact me anytime if you feel like a chat and, if you'd like a little guidance after retaking the test, certainly make contact. I check into the forums every 2/3 days.

Again, apologies for referring to you by the wrong name.

Take care

 lh.