feeling deflated

[lorena]

Today I have no motivation to do anything. I know I need to get up and start cleaning, organise dinner etc...

But on the otherhand saying I cant be bothered I dont care

 So am feeling annoyed and angry and down because im not myself

 How do I get on with my day ?

Any suggestions would help ☺

[Guest_1695]

Hi Lorena,

Thanks for your post. Sometimes I too find it very difficult to find motivation. Some days it just vanishes and I can't find it anywhere!

In one way, you have been very motivated though, as you have sent out this message, so that means you are wanting to make contact with others and are trying to find answers.

When I feel unmotivated, I try to make myself do just one thing. I think of the most important thing I need to do right now. For example it might be that I need to have somethi8ng to eat.

I tell myself that a sandwich may not be very exciting compared to a gourmet meal, but it is better than nothing at all and much better than a greasy hamburger full of fat.

Take one step at a time. Try to concentrate on doing one thing. If you have a sink full of dishes, then wash them. You can dry them and put them away later.

Congratulate yourself when you manage to do something.

It is not always easy to think positively, but it does help.

If you have the opportunity, get outside for a while. The fresh air always makes me feel better. Go for a walk if possible.

Find something you like to do, that might motivate you to get moving again or to be interested in something.

Hope some of these random ideas might help.

Cheers for now from Topsy

[Guest_1695]

Hi again Lorena,

I was going to mention that I like your picture.

Just like your little pile of rocks, if you tackle one job at a time, you will soon have them done.

Don't look at the pile and think that you need to tackle all of them at once. Remove on at a time. Even if you don't do it all today, then you can try again tomorrow!

[Ditz]

Hey lorena,

 When i was battling with depression. I made up my own rules. & one of them was '24 hr bad day'

 A lot of my depression & anxiety was made worse from bottling everything up. Hence the 24hr rule was invented.

If i woke up & was having a bad day i allowed myself to have it!!. But inly for 24hrs. If i woke up that bad, then my body & brain was obviously telling me i needed the time out.

 I would go to my parents or my partner & say "everything is ok with me but iv woken up having a bad day. I just need to chill in my room, pls dont worry bout me, i jus need to go through the motions, ill be back out tomorrow"

 At times they would pop thier head in with a cup of tea for me (also for them to check on me, which is understandable).

But the next day was about slowing ticking off my chors as i worked out what brought me down so low & setting up a plan to stop it happening again.

Then the third was setting the plan into place.

 Eg: maybe i realised i gave myself too many social outings so i started to cut back to one a mth then step up to one a fortnight when i felt better. 

Or maybe i had been eating bad & not being active. So i stared with one walk a wk then 2 walks a wk & 5 push ups etc 

 This is something that worked for me as i was being honest with myself but not wollowing in it & i was being honest & respectful to those who loved me & in turn they were being respectful & caring of me. It took a while to get that balance but in the end it made the bad days so less scary & easy to face like physio for a broken ankle, i had rest for a broken brain. 

 Hope this diff view of things may help our outlook. 

[Ditz]

I feel when i have bad days thats my body &mind telling me i need to stop & recover. Like resting your foot after walking on a bad ankle.

My depression & anxiety became worse from me bottling things up.

So when i woke up & realised i was having a bad day,  i invented the '24 hr x3 rule'.

I would walk out to my parents/partner & tell them "everything is ok but im having a bad day, ill be in my room today, dont worry about me i just have to go through the motions". Then i would head back to my room & cry & sleep & allow myself to feel how i needed to feel. But not get caught up in the negative. 'Giving' myself the day off, releaved me of the pressures & stress of not getting my jobs done. It allowed me to deal with my emotion & not supress them.

Sometime my loved ones would visit my room with a cup of tea. I know it was so they could check up on me, but i respect the fact they were concerned. It took a while to find this balance. Respecting & being honest with myself & my loved ones, being practical to my situation & my loved ones respecting & caring for me.

But saying that, after 24hrs i had to get back to my jobs, as i thought about what brought on the bad day & what steps i could do to prevent it again.

Day 3 was implementing those steps. Eg: maybe i had been socialising too much & not giving myself down time. So i cut back to one social thing a month then build up to 2. Or maybe i had had been eating bad & not being active. So i set just 1, 10min walk & 5 push ups the 1st wk then add 5min to the walk the next wk, etc nothing big just small steps. 

I know everyones situations are diff, maybe you have kids to care for etc. But try to find a way to allow yourself to feel your emotions, you are entitled to them, we all are. Just don't wollow in them, think of it as a broken leg that needs to be rested then, slow physio on it to get it moving again, then soon you can walk on it & one day you will be running on it again.

 Hope this makes sence, im a bit tired tonight & may have waffled on a bit lol. 

Depression &anxiety can be hard, remember to be kind to yourself. 

[Maureen]

Oh Ditz, thank you. I really like this idea. I have this nasty habit of getting a bad day and doing the poor me thing, and the next day doing it again. I am going to push myself to only allow myself one day of being down, then doing something the next day to get that feeling of accomplishment to try to get back on my feet sooner.

 Sorry Lorena, didn't mean to take your post lightly. I am like you, no motivation. Ditz's post was like a light bulb moment for me. Perhaps you could give it a go too and we could compare notes.

Maureen

[Ditz]

Thank you maureen,

 You have actually made my day. It may be odd but i joined up to BB because i really wanted to start helping ppl, from my own experiences. 

Think sharing you progress with someone like you suggested to lorena, sounds like a good idea too. Its like having a gym buddy & swap ideas around.

Thinking if you both & if you like id be happy to hear how you went.