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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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cbear55 How do I tell my partner?
  • replies: 4

I've been diagnosed with depression since I was 18. So I've had 7 years to come to terms with it. If anything it was a relief because it explained why I felt the way I did. I'm on medication and it's under a decent amount of control. Doesn't mean I d... View more

I've been diagnosed with depression since I was 18. So I've had 7 years to come to terms with it. If anything it was a relief because it explained why I felt the way I did. I'm on medication and it's under a decent amount of control. Doesn't mean I don't have low days. But it is much easier to manage. I have now been with my partner for 7 months. He is a great guy, very kind, caring and loving. I think it's time I tell him that I have depression. Not so he can help me or change something. Just so he knows. It can also describe why I have sexual arousal issues to him so he knows it's not that I don't find him attractive. I'm not really worried about how he will react because if he doesn't accept it he's not the one for me. But I don't know how to tell him. Any tips? Thanks

Justme28 Feeling empty and heavy
  • replies: 11

Hi, I'm new here so hello. I guess I'll just get into what I'm feeling. For a while now I've just been getting through day by day. I feel like I have a massive hole missing from me and that emptiness and loneliness that comes with it is hard. I have ... View more

Hi, I'm new here so hello. I guess I'll just get into what I'm feeling. For a while now I've just been getting through day by day. I feel like I have a massive hole missing from me and that emptiness and loneliness that comes with it is hard. I have a lot of friends around me so I'm not technically alone and when I'm with people I'm a social butterfly. How is it I can be separate people? I also over think things all the time and make the smallest things huge but the big things I don't tend to worry about. And I worry about what people think of me all the time. Recently I have got worse because I split with my boyfriend, the relationship was pretty toxic so I know that has lead me to feel even worse. I don't know how to switch off my brain! And I'm originally from the UK so I don't have family here. I'm going to see a doctor this week but I don't know if I want to take antidepressants or not and therapy I have tried before didn't work. I'm just very lost. Any comments would be helpful.

Tearsandsmiles Not sure where to start
  • replies: 6

Hi, I'm new here and I wanted to reply to thread instead of posting a new one, but I didn't want to spill my problems on someone else's post, because I didn't think that would help them... Actually, that's my life in a sentence, I never want to be a ... View more

Hi, I'm new here and I wanted to reply to thread instead of posting a new one, but I didn't want to spill my problems on someone else's post, because I didn't think that would help them... Actually, that's my life in a sentence, I never want to be a burden on anyone or put myself in people's lives (does that make sense ?). I have been sad for a long time now, I'd say over a year, probably close to 2 years now. I don't know why I started feeling like that. I've always been shy and I can't say that I have had a close friend for a long time. I'm not the type that has had a best friend since school. I seem to always get left behind, people move on and I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm 'too hard' to be friends with.... I honestly don't think that though because I'm sure everyone who knows me would say that I'm lovely, funny, loyal etc. When I say I haven't been happy for a long time, I honestly mean that. I sometimes just want to sit and cry, but I have kids and a husband, and I just think to myself that I need to wait until I'm alone to have my cry. I know I need to go to the doctors but I don't even have a trusted doctor, and how do you start that conversation ?? I told my husband the other day that I couldn't remember the last time I felt happy, and I cried to him, but he has obviously dismissed it. I have tried dropping hints to my mum but my dad has suffered depression for years (although he's fine on medication), and I don't want to burden her. And to be honest I think she would just think 'oh no, not another one !' I'm happy when I'm at work, and I have friends there but they are work friends, not friends I socialise with outside of work. It's when I'm at home that I feel the most lonely. My kids are great and my husband is too. We've had a lot of stress with my husband's work situation this year, many ups and mainly downs, hopefully he's on the right track now and we can get settled with that part of life, but at the moment it's adding to my stress, and financial worries. I'm always stressed and worried and sad. Any advice - where do I turn ?

deprees8 Talking to Family about my depression
  • replies: 3

hi second time posting. i just want to know of anyone who has had the difficulty of not being able to talk to family members when you are depressed but you can talk to a total stranger like a counselor or a social worker and have no trouble spilling ... View more

hi second time posting. i just want to know of anyone who has had the difficulty of not being able to talk to family members when you are depressed but you can talk to a total stranger like a counselor or a social worker and have no trouble spilling all of your dark depression mood and also do u feel better when u have talked it out and have trouble trying to explain to others about your depression? i just want to know because i always have difficult talking about it to my family members but am totally willing to talk to a doctor or a social worker all about my problems. has anyone else felt this way? please share it would help a lot to know that maybe i'm not the only one. thanks

sickofit27 Where did my depression come from and when will it end?
  • replies: 2

Not seeing an end to ones struggle with depression is most frustrating and confusing thing about this state of mind. Picture this: you've had a few things go wrong in your life. A build up of normal things that everyone deals with happened to come at... View more

Not seeing an end to ones struggle with depression is most frustrating and confusing thing about this state of mind. Picture this: you've had a few things go wrong in your life. A build up of normal things that everyone deals with happened to come at once; a break up with someone you still love, losing a job you loved, having to move back to your parents place which leaves you feeling like you've gone backwards in life, being screwed with by people you care about and trust. None of these are the direct cause of your depression but all were part of the catalyst. You feel weak because you can't deal with problems almost everyone faces at some point. You visit some friends to try to regain some normality, they all know your down so they try to "help" by telling you about people with much bigger problems than yours, this just makes you feel worse and weaker for not being able to cope with your now marginalised issues. On a good day you can still enjoy th work you're passionate about but on a bad day you can't even get through that without thinking "why do I suck so much at this?" your mindset is so negative your actually driving yourself to perform worse at the main thing that brought you joy in the past. You try pretending for a while, smile and talk to people as if nothing is wrong but inside your blank, you have no good feelings towards anything and after a while you become sick of lying to yourself trying to pretend like things are ok, pretending that you can get through this. You feel like crying (and sometimes do) at random points throughout the day seemingly for no reason, with no trigger, just because thats how you feel constantly. You have absolutely no drive to live, you've established some kind of work routine to at least not loose all your ability due to this spell of depression but you know it's not enough and you know it's not working. You question whether your just reinforcing bad work habits trying to work on anything in this mindset. Everyone in your world knows what your going through but no one knows what to do or say and they can't do anything to help you, they might try but they say the stupidest stuff that just makes you feel worse. "you need to get a thicker skin" "your overreacting, everything's fine" "Stop being so emotional" "Just think obout how other people have bigger problems". The worst thing about depression is that you know your the only one that can fix this problem but you don't know where to start.

Pantheress The blind China man, Karma, every dog has its day.
  • replies: 7

I know bad things happen to good people. I just wonder why it seems to happen, so much to me. I wonder if somehow I attract bad luck to me. It's not even a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I've convinced myself, I'm one of God's fa... View more

I know bad things happen to good people. I just wonder why it seems to happen, so much to me. I wonder if somehow I attract bad luck to me. It's not even a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I've convinced myself, I'm one of God's favourites. Because there are givers & takers in life. This is not good or bad. Just the balance of things like black & white, yin & yang. The givers seem to suffer so much more hardship than the takers. I say God is training me in the trials of life to help others. Because as we all know when your a giver, no matter how bad your feeling, when you see some one fallen down or just miserable or struggling in general. We'll stop & put our hand out. Let me share & help ease your burden. So God trains us up in life's hardship to give us skills to assist others & this keep humanity going. Givers learn how to catch the curve balls, how to roll with the punches, how to throw that mask on at a moments notice & smile just to lift another's day, When inside your dying & don't know how you can travel on another day. I say God I'm tired. I've learned enough please let me rest for just a bit. But still the curve balls keep coming. With every punch I've dragged myself back up and plodded on to another day. My mask is dusty and cracked. So I'm running out of platitudes & wondering why my life has to be this way. I have become silent in my grief, I wonder will people believe me if I speak of the last curve ball that just came hurtling through? My 17 yr old son say why does God hate us? Suppose this is the difference between boys and girls. My 15yr old daughter says our life is like a Maladrama or some horror movie, she states I never tell anyone at school about what happens at home, I couldn't stand it if they didn't believe me or even worse felt pity for me. Do you think people can be contributing to their own bad luck? I'm sure if I stand on the freeway at peak hour and get stuck, I'd probably have to take some responsibility. But I rarely get to leave my home. I hardly have contact with society, friends or family only the kids & me trapped at home. How does this keep happening. When does it end. What am I doing to keep having sh*t piled on me?

angeljade13 Relapse potentially?
  • replies: 10

Good evening. This is my first post. Hope to get some advise. I'm in remission from depression/anxiety which was diagnosed January 2014 so two years on and recently I've been feeling sad and confused. Could I be relapsing already? Currently on approp... View more

Good evening. This is my first post. Hope to get some advise. I'm in remission from depression/anxiety which was diagnosed January 2014 so two years on and recently I've been feeling sad and confused. Could I be relapsing already? Currently on appropriate medication for treatment which has been very successful. Anyone else experienced these feelings? Thank you.

bjames Social security - catch 22
  • replies: 11

Hi all, I've had severe depression and anxiety for 3 1/2 years now. In 2 weeks, I will not have left the house for 2 years and for the year prior it was 4 times for doctors appointments. The problem I have is that I have been supporting myself financ... View more

Hi all, I've had severe depression and anxiety for 3 1/2 years now. In 2 weeks, I will not have left the house for 2 years and for the year prior it was 4 times for doctors appointments. The problem I have is that I have been supporting myself financially throughout all of this time. Not having an income for 3 1/2 years with the usual outgoings is crippling me. I've made adjustments in my life to ensure to cut down on any waste of money. I want to apply for some sort of social support/welfare but I am in a catch 22 position. My anxiety is such that I just won't leave home and I dread the thought of having to jump through hoops, so much so, that I have been willing to just support myself financially for the sake of my savings. Well, over the past year the constant attack on my savings is not helping with my anxiety levels at all. I am not tackling thoughts of eventually running out of money and where it puts my future. Has anyone had this problem? Does centrelink cater for us socially phobic people who just can't bring themselves to go to the required meetings to "jump through hoops". I am sure I am not the only one in this position. Any advice or feedback would be greatly appreciated. Bj

Scotchfinger What's the point?
  • replies: 15

I don't suffer clinical depression but I am certainly capable of depressing thoughts. Pessimistic thoughts. Negative thoughts. "Scotchfinger, why are you such a drag?"Well not all the time.So here is my most depressing thought of late."What's the poi... View more

I don't suffer clinical depression but I am certainly capable of depressing thoughts. Pessimistic thoughts. Negative thoughts. "Scotchfinger, why are you such a drag?"Well not all the time.So here is my most depressing thought of late."What's the point. We're all gonna die one day anyway."I just lose all motivation when I hear myself think that thought. What would a CBT counsellor say in response to that?beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

prettysad09 If I don't feel sad I feel nothing
  • replies: 3

So. Where to even begin. My extremely small circle of friends is getting sick of it all I am sure.... Of course they don't say so to my face, but they hang around with me less and when I try to tell them how I am feeling alone, they say not much at a... View more

So. Where to even begin. My extremely small circle of friends is getting sick of it all I am sure.... Of course they don't say so to my face, but they hang around with me less and when I try to tell them how I am feeling alone, they say not much at all. It all started with my marriage break-up, I couldn't cope with how I hurt my ex so I cut him off completely and moved interstate. Away from all my family, "friends", my dog and every single thing I owned. The "friends" part was hurtful in itself as immediately after we announced our separation they cut me off and wanted nothing to do with me... None of them kept in contact when I moved. Instead they spread rumours about me amongst themselves, making me feel worthless. So, I move, on my own. For the first time ever in my life I am alone... I am always lonely, I am sad, depressed, anxious and angry with myself for making this all happen. I am also angry with my ex - why didn't he help me? I asked for his help before I left (already being diagnosed with anxiety and depression) and he 'let' me go. He was supposed to be there for me! I'm away from everyone who cares about me without judgement, although I'm not close with my family at all - which makes that 'nothing' feeling very real; if my own family don't care why would anyone else? Why would I? Why would my ex? Why would my friends? I feel like I am absolutely alone in this world now and I am barely keeping my head above water. Trying to make new friends is near impossible; I have joined numerous Meetup groups and I make no connections. I have tried to join social groups to the same avail. I also now have a new partner who is great, but he doesn't understand why I cry for no reason at any time of the day. He just goes quiet which frustrates me SO much and I then get angry. I also don't see a long term future with him; which also ads to my sadness. I can't bring myself to end things with him because I'm not strong enough. As I write this I feel I sound so incredibly selfish and stupid. I'm sorry, please don't judge me, I cannot help how I feel. I see a psychologist and have done for years now, I'm not interested in meds, and I don't feel I am progressing anymore with my psych. I will organise to see a new one and hope this makes a difference. Every minute of my day feels like panic, I feel like I don't belong anywhere and haven't for at least 3 years. How do I get that feeling back? I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm exhausted.

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