Hi there, I’m very new to this!

[Tartlet]

Hi everyone, I’m new to dealing with my thoughts and emotions & new to forums. I’m pretty sure I’m suffering from anxiety and depression and probably have been for years. If I am completely honest I have feelings of dread, fear, sadness constantly. I have panic attacks that make me feel like I’m drowning. I haven’t slept more than 3 hours a night without self medicating with alcohol and tablets for years. It has taken a pretty rubbish year at work for it to unravel me and decide I need help, I’m booked in with the gp tomorrow to see where I should go from here. I am the funny/bubbly one at work and with my friends so I’ve not got many people to talk to about this to, and I’ve run out of energy pretending to be happy-go-lucky me anymore, i feel like a massive fraud. I work in healthcare and it feels all kinds of wrong to admit I need help.
thanks for reading..

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Tartlet,

Thank you for your post and it's good to have you here. I appreciate you opening up and sharing with us what's been going on. I'm glad that you've managed to book in with the GP but at the same time it sounds like you've been dealing with this for a really long time.

There's a lot that comes to mind while reading your post thinking about things I might be able to say, but honestly the most important one I want you to know is this - you are not a fraud.

Nobody anywhere is immune to dealing with anxiety and depression. Even therapists have therapists! My own therapist recently told me she was seeing her own trauma therapist, and she is seeing me for trauma aha. I'm sharing this with you because I want you to know it's okay to not have this all together, and that doesn't make you any less worthy of your job.

It looks like you wrote this post yesterday so I hope that your appointment today with the GP goes well. If you like, we will be here if you want to share how it went.

I hope you'll find some support in the forums. You don't have to pretend here.

rt

[Tartlet]

Thank you for replying & your kind words. I did see the GP and started on medication and have got a mental health plan in place to see a psyc, I feel so lost at the moment, so I’m just kinda doing what they tell me to do.

[cake-o-saurus]

Hi tartlet! I am really glad you are getting some help! I know that it can be a big step, I needed someone to hold my hand the first time I booked an appointment so I just want to congratulate you for getting the help you deserve! Be patient, its OK to feel lost at the beginning 🙂

I guess I can relate to the happy go lucky secretly depressed type, but I just want to agree with romantic thi3f and say yeah, like you aren't a fraud, its normal to try and hide these things from people you care about. Depression is so stigmatised, I am sure you are doing it from a place of caring and/or self preservation, both of which are totally valid reasons. But still I really hope you know that many of your friends will be OK with finding out that you have more than one side to you and many of them will want to help you and support you on your journey. That was my experience. I just want you to feel like you can be honest! Well that takes time I guess so in the meantime I hope that you can get what you need on these forums!

[geoff]

Hello Tartlet and also good morning to cake-o-saurus, to book the first appointment with your doctor takes a great deal of strength, uncertain of the diagnosis or perhaps being afraid of what they have to say, which definitely you don't want to be told.

Opening up to them maybe difficult, so write down how you are feeling on some paper, then hand it over to the doctor, this helps to let them know what you could be afraid of telling them.

Don't be frightened if any of your friends aren't able to help you, this may happen as they may not know what to say and could disappear off the radar.

Best wishes.

Geoff.