Hating life

[SDLS]

Hi,

Not sure if this will help? Or really what to do?
But to be honest with you I don't really know what to do.
I am feeling extremely depressed.
I suffered from depression in my 20's and seeked professional help then, but the last number of years lots of things have happened in my life and I am not coping well.
Does anyone want to talk?

[Sophie_M]

Hi SDLS,

Welcome to the forums, we are so grateful that you reached out to us here tonight. We're so sorry to hear that you are not coping well at the moment and are feeling really low. Please know that our wonderful community is here to support you.

In addition to this, there are always counsellors available via phone for your most difficult moments, including Lifeline on 13 11 14 / https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Online-Services/crisis-chat (online chat available 7pm-12am) or Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467.

If you would like to post further, please tell us more about the helpful coping strategies you've used in the past and how we can best support you here. 

[Doolhof]

Hi SDLS,

Welcome to the forum community. Sorry to read you are in a tough place right now.

Hope you feel comfortable enough to stick around for a while and share more of what you are experiencing if you are comfortable to do so.

This forum has been extremely helpful to me, I have shared my struggles and people have reached out and assisted with support, advice, suggestions and by just acknowledging I have been struggling.

So how can we help you? What would you like to talk about?

Do you want to share more of how you are feeling, would suggestions on what might help you be useful?

Would you like to share what does work for you usually and how you may be able to incorporate more of the positives in your life?

I'm heading off to work later today, if you have a chat here, other people may join in with the thread.

Depression can be tough. I totally get that! Hope you manage to find one thing today that gives you a little hope. Even if it is knowing that connecting here may be a way to help yourself.

Kind regards from Dools

[newone88]

Hi SDLS , Im new to this post today and wanted to come on too as I'm feeling pretty much like you are today. I have no idea how to post how I am feeling but I saw your post and felt for you. How are you feeling now? Has anything happened to make you feel this way today. Im happy to have a chat if you need an ear.

[SDLS]

Hi,
Had a shit night, hardly slept.
So much to say, don't know where to start.
Difficult times at the moment with so many business's and this stupid covid - where I work they are forcing me to use up all my annual leave more than other people - I feel targeted as it is not being shared around. My manager has her favourites at work and she is bringing them into work first and making me use up all my leave - I have hardly any leave left.
Hate not working, it's affecting my mental health big time.
I am a good, hardworking person. But don't feel valued, wanted or appreciated anymore. The manager is new about 3 years ago - and things have changed so much since then and it has been shit for me ever since. I don't know where I stand in being made to take my leave.
Hate but also love where I work, want to leave but also don't want to leave, but also scared to leave.
Also had a falling out with my sister and brother - they no longer see me, talk to me, include me in any family functions - miss them so much, but they hate me.
And one of my best friends hardly sees me anymore or talks to me anymore - I always feel like I try to reach out to her but don't get much back from her - she lost her husband tragically (my husband best friend) since then we have drifted apart - I have tried so hard to reach out to her, with not much response.
I hate my life at the moment- thought of suicide, feel very depressed. Only thing stopping me is my 2 wonderful children.
I know I should be grateful as there are people worse of then me, but I don't cope well with rejection, or change - it's a shit flaw I have.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Thank you.

[Sophie_M]

Hey SDLS,
We're sorry to hear how awful your night was, we can imagine you must be feeling pretty exhausted and low at the moment. It sounds like life is really stressful at the moment and we know it can be more challenging when it feels like there is no one to turn to for support. Please know that we are here to support you. Our Support Service is trying to reach out to you via email as we are worried about you. It would be helpful for the community to know if there has been anything previously that has helped you cope with these thoughts and feelings so we can best support you. We thank you for sharing your journey with us and look forward to hearing from you.
 

[Doolhof]

Hi SDLS,

Recently I have been struggling with my mental health issues. I see from what you have written, you have a lot going on.

One thing that drives me nuts is when my mind thinks of one thing that is wrong,t hat turns to something else and it continues into a huge mess of stuff messing with my head.

Is there some way you can think of one issue at a time and see if there is some way you can make the situation a little different for yourself.

When I allow those thoughts to spiral, I can't see any answers for anything and am so overwhelmed I feel like giving up.

I acknowledge all you are saying is distressing to you, I just hope you are able to find some way to break some of the issues down.

Regards from Dools

[SDLS]

Hi Dools,

Thank you. I do over think things, I just want to be liked and included by my work colleagues - but I feel like I am on the outside all the time. Women can be such horrible people some times. Why is it that people act like they are better then everyone else I ask.....
My stress levels are so high, which causes me to not sleep at night - so then everything is always harder to deal with when tired.
I am scared of the fear of the unknown with my job - I should be grateful I have a job in these terrible times. I hate that because I am not a favourite at work I am being forced to use up all my annual leave as they can't afford to have everyone at work - it sucks that it's not being shared around to make everyone take time off. Maybe it's time to find a new job????
The breakdown of my family is very complicated and at this present time is really not fixable - just breaks my heart that my children miss out on being with their cousins - they are all under the age of 13 - the memories I have growing up with my cousin's was lovely but my children will never have those memories 😭
My husband is supportive but doesn't understand - he doesn't really know what to say to me when I am at my lowest. My children are my world, who keep me going.
Not sure if professional counselling will help ??? Maybe???

[Doolhof]

Hi SDLS,

It does sound like work is a difficult place to be at present. Is there a Human Resources person you can talk to at work? It may help to call FairWork Australia and see if they can make any suggestions to you regarding having to take your annual leave.

Is there one person at work you feel comfortable with? I have found that trying to be nice to people while they feel like they are being horrible to me, makes me feel better about myself.

Maybe at present a lot of people are concerned about their positions and that is causing extra tensions. I do agree with yo though, leave requirements should be the same for everyone. Hope you can get some answers with that.

You mentioned family issues. Is it possible for your children to stay in touch with their cousins? There may be tension between you and your sister, does that have to prevent the children from staying in contact? Is that possible?

Seeing a counsellor or even talking to a support person at Beyond Blue on their phone line can be very beneficial. Some people from Beyond Blue have been very supportive and helpful to me recently.

Maybe your husband just doesn't know how to help or what to say, not because he doesn't care, he just may not know how to help. My husband now offers me a cup of tea and suggests I read for a while or work on a jigsaw puzzle. If the weather is nice he suggests a bit of time int he garden.

The Beyond Blue website has a lot of information. There is a section on how to "Support someone with depression". You may find some ideas there your husband could try.

I also realise what works one day might not be helpful the next time, just keep trying different ideas and see what helps at the time.

Depression is tough. Sometimes it takes work to get through each day. Hope you find the strength to keep going and find things to appreciate along the way.

Cheers from Dools