It's so hard for me living here a lot of the time. We moved away in 2018 because of a few reasons, some of which may be too triggering to myself and/or others so I won't mention why. I miss my old house sometimes but that was also a toxic place, but I've grown up there. But other days I don't even think about it & it doesn't bother me. That was more of a suburban place, like everything was there basically, right near you. Not like the city city but yeah.
Now I live in a country town, not in the middle of nowhere or on a farm (I wish I had a farm at times though), the biggest town is 30 mins away & we go there a lot, & other smaller towns are nearby too. It's peaceful, nice bird life, nice walking tracks around the lake that I walk around daily, but that's about all.
There's nothing for me as in mental health stuff, places for me to meet people, work, anything at all. I've tried everything & I'm rejected, I don't even say I have mental illnesses, I just say I want to get out of the house & meet people & hopefully find something I enjoy (for example a mindfulness group, sewing, etc). This was even before COVID when I was rejected. I went to Headspace & had a very traumatic experience so I'm not going there again, or any centre.
Whenever I try to talk to people anywhere here no matter their age, I just get glared at & ignored. It's hard enough for me with my social phobia & I try to push myself which is extremely hard believe it or not, then I just get treated like crap. I try to be friendly & chat but I just get filthy looks & ignored, & then people probably say stuff about me. Yes some of that is paranoia but honestly.
It's so hard. I like it here but I also don't. Then if I move again (that's a lot to take into consideration, not just with COVID), I'd end up missing it here. I can't win.
I never see many young people & like I said, I get ignored & get funny looks anyway. Yes there are a couple of people who are nice enough & will chat even if it's just "hi", but still. I do try my hardest. I feel like I don't fit in because it's a town where everyone knows everyone & if you're new then most don't make you feel welcome, a few will but not many. 1 neighbour is rude & has parties a lot. Whenever I see people with friends no matter their age, I get all depressed, etc.
Idk, I only have a GP & Social Worker up here, no friends, no other help, nothing to do for me to get out of the house & meet people, etc. I've tried literally everything I can. It's impossible.
