Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla how are you in 2021.I hope you got some sleep with the party next door .

[Guest_4643]

Hi Mark, I'm ok. I still wish I could see my Psychiatrist though. The company isn't open until the 11th. I've tried looking on their website for the live chat but it's unavailable, and there's no point calling because no one would be there and they wouldn't pass on the message, at least when I email one person there I know it gets passed on & she lets me know his replies.

How are you? And I didn't get much sleep unfortunately, they were still going at like 2:30am, or someone else was, I think there was a party across the road too, ugh. But I have insomnia so I'm used to it.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla the 11th isn't that far away I know it does for you.Try and be strong.I am still waiting for surgery and have no idea when that will be which isn't good for my anxiety.
I didn't get much sleep either as when I did finally for asleep I got woken up from a big noise in my room.My clothes rack had broken and fallen to the ground almost on my cat.Scared her to.
I took my daughter into town to get fish for her tank so she got a couple of guppies and some neon tetra .
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Yeah I guess it isn't that far away, for me in between sessions it feels like an eternity, especially around Christmas & New Years. But they're entitled to breaks too.

I'm sorry to hear about your surgery, I hope you have some answers soon and you can get it done ASAP to ease your mind, although surgery is scary. I had my first surgery which was major due to a cyst in 2018, it was a traumatic few months back then for me but I'm ok from it now. Aswell as my antidepressants, I'm on the pill for it too. Apparently i was really anxious I took ages to fall asleep & they had to keep giving me more Anaesthetic, but all I remember is getting a needle in my spine& in my hand, then that's all.

Sorry to hear about the clothes rack, cute about your Daughter & the Fish though. I love all animals

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla how are you today? I hope you managed get some sleep for yourself.I hope you managing to get out on a walk.I have just been busy potting up and want to plant some bean seeds later.My daughter's fish are really cute theirs a blue guppy and an orange one
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Mark.

I'm in a really deep depression, nothing seems to help. I think its my meds too. I feel really out of it and I don't know what I'm doing most of the time. I'm scared

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla that is not good at all.I am really worried about you.It is such a bad time of the year not be able to contact your psychiatrist to tgeb11th.Can you see a gp before then?I wish I could say more or had goid answers for you.I know how hard it is having deep depression.Can you go for a walk and enjoy the birdlife.Birds are amazing to watch and enjoy the way they fly and getting their dinner.Just something like that to take your mind off things for a few minutes.I know you know you have the help lines if you need them to talk to someone in person.

Tale care,

Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hello Mark.

You don't need to be worried about me, I'm safe. But thank you though. I see my GP around the 11th also, I can't get in to see them earlier, even on the phone. Even other GPs are busy aswell. Yes I'll go for a walk after I eat sometime today, I do love animals & nature. Maybe I should call a helpline one day but I don't like talking on the phone

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I don't like talking on the phone either and have never found helplines very helpful but a lot of people do.I find lonelyness is one of the hardest things even with my two kids here at the moment I still miss some company of friends but not to be.I use to go for lots of walks when I had a dog but can't manage to walk to far these day.I spend a lot of time in bed or on the lounge.Its nice you can get out for walks and have somewhere nice to walk.Its all just farms here.
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hey Mark.

Yeah I have no company either, apart from my Parents. I went for a walk earlier just with my Dog but I get really anxious.